The Choice

by Robert Whitlow

  “Whatever you decide, I’d like for you to give her a letter from me if you think it’s a good idea,” Sandy said. “I want to thank her.”

  “That’s a great idea.”

  They all stood up. Jeremy leaned forward and hugged Sandy. Her arms hung limply at her sides for a moment, then she reached up and embraced him. He kissed her lightly on the cheek as he let her go.

  “Is that okay?” he asked.

  All Sandy could do was nod. Ben and Jeremy shook hands, then the three of them walked together to the front door of the office.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow to talk about our legal matters,” Jeremy said to Sandy. “We can discuss the hearing over the phone.”

  “I need to leave for a football game at five-thirty,” Sandy replied.

  “Then I’ll call around four.”

  Jeremy left. Ben took his cell phone from his pocket.

  “Betsy called me four times in the past hour. Do you think I should call her back?”

  “Only if you ever want to eat another bite of corn bread in your life.”

  “And you’d better come to supper with us. She’s going to ask so many questions I can’t answer that I’m going to end up in big trouble.”

  “Okay.”

  “We’ll get a table in the back at Dressler’s place. It shouldn’t be too crowded on a Thursday night.”

  Sandy stood beside Ben while he locked the front door of the office.

  “What do you think about Jeremy?” she asked.

  “He’s an impressive young man. I’d say young, but he’s only fourteen years younger than I am.”

  “How is Mama going to react to the news?”

  “Awkwardly at first. She’s going to remember how embarrassed she was when you turned up pregnant. It’s going to take her awhile to get her head around the fact that she now has a thirty-three-year-old grandson and two great-grandchildren in her life. She’s going to feel really, really old.”

  Sandy laughed. Ben looked down at her and smiled.

  “But what I’m going to enjoy the most is the happiness I hope this brings to you. You haven’t spent your life feeling sorry for yourself, but you’re no stranger to disappointment. I pray things work out so you can have a good relationship with Jeremy and his family.”

  “Me too.”

  Betsy was so excited she barely ate any of her supper.

  “Box it up,” she told the waiter when it was time to pay for the meal.

  After the waiter left, Ben leaned forward. “And then Jeremy gave Sandy a big hug. He finished it off with a kiss on the cheek.”

  “How sweet.” Betsy sighed. “He sounds like such a doll.”

  “I wouldn’t use that word,” Ben replied. “At least in front of anyone except the three of us.”

  “Sandy knows what I mean,” Betsy said. “It takes a real man to show affection to his mother. I have to stick my cheek out like a highway billboard for Robbie to know it’s time to give me a little peck before he leaves the house for another couple of months.”

  When she got home, Sandy called Jessica to share the news. Her friend went into the bathroom and closed the door so Rick couldn’t hear her side of the conversation.

  “When can I tell him?” Jessica asked when Sandy paused for a moment.

  “Not until I talk to my mother. Okay?”

  “I’ll try. The only secrets I remember ever keeping from him were the appointment I had with the diet doctor who wanted me to drink that awful mixture of grass and leaves, and the consultation with the plastic surgeon when my eyes started to sag.”

  “A girl has a right to keep a few bits of information to herself. It won’t be much longer before I break the news to my mother, but I’m all talked out for tonight. Part of me wants to tell her in person. I think that’s what Jeremy will probably do with his mother.”

  “You’re his mother.”

  “Yes, but I’m not going to start calling his mother his ‘adopted mother.’ She’s the one who raised him and influenced who he is today. I’ll be satisfied if he calls me Sandy.”

  “How about the grandkids?”

  “You know how that works. They’ll come up with their own name for me, and I’ll love it.”

  After she hung up the phone, Sandy went out to the porch at the rear of her house and listened to the night noises. During the summer, the evening chorus could be deafening, but with the arrival of cooler weather, it became quieter. Sandy sat in a rocking chair, closed her eyes, and let her imagination about the future fly free.

  The following day she floated through her time at school with a slightly goofy grin on her face. At lunchtime she turned around and almost bumped into Carol at the end of the salad line.

  “Hi, Carol,” Sandy blurted out before she could stop herself.

  Carol gave her a strange look and kept walking. Sandy didn’t care whether she looked foolish or not.

  At 4:00 p.m., she was sitting in her kitchen drinking a cup of tea and waiting for Jeremy’s call. Her phone beeped, and she answered. It was Jeremy.

  “Hey, Sandy,” he began. “It’s been an interesting twenty-four hours.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I waited until the kids were in bed to break the news to Leanne. She remembered seeing you come to the office with Maria the other day and wanted me to ask you a strange question. Were you in Tryon when my son, Zach, broke his collarbone in a fall at the elementary school last weekend? There was a woman in a pickup truck who blew the horn to let us know something had happened and then drove off. I know it’s an odd thing to ask, but—”

  “That was me,” Sandy said. “I drove over to Tryon to see where you lived and hoped I’d get a chance to see your family. As soon as Zach fell I wanted to jump out and run over to him, but I realized a stranger would frighten him, so I honked the horn to get your attention instead. I called the hospital later in the day to make sure he was okay.”

  “Leanne was right.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be a stalker, but I guess that’s what I was doing. I apologize.”

  “I understand.”

  “And please tell Leanne my reasoning. I’ve been in a partial state of shock for the past two weeks. At times I’m not sure I’ve been thinking straight.”

  “How could you? Looking back, I can remember you giving me a few odd looks when we were talking about the pictures in my office, but I didn’t think anything of it.”

  “I memorized every detail of those pictures.”

  “One of the first things I want to do is put together a photo album for you that will include pictures from my childhood up through the present. Leanne started working on it today.”

  Sandy felt overwhelmed. “That would be wonderful.”

  “Leanne and I are going to wait to introduce you to the kids until after I talk with my mom. I need to do that in person, which can’t happen for a couple of weeks. In the meantime, it would be nice if you could pull together some background information about yourself, including photos and a letter I can take when I go to see her in Charleston.”

  “Of course.”

  Jeremy was silent for a moment.

  “I really enjoyed meeting you,” he said. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

  Sandy felt like she’d received a huge hug.

  “It means the world for you to say that,” she said. “This has been such a vulnerable time for me. And I agree with your suggestion about waiting on any contact with the children. But would it be okay if I visited your church on Sunday? Deb invited me, so I could come as her guest. Maybe I could meet Leanne before or after the service and talk to you for a minute.”

  “That would work. The kids will be in children’s church and won’t be with us until we pick them up. It would be easy to squeeze in a few minutes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I miss you already. We have so much catching up to do.”

  Sandy felt her heart do another flip.

  “Deb gave me her cell pho
ne number,” she said. “I’ll give her a call. See you then.”

  “Sandy,” Jeremy said before she could hang up the phone.

  “What?”

  “We’re not finished. We need to talk about the hearing next week.”

  “Sorry. It’s been a fight to keep focused on that.”

  Forty-five minutes later, Sandy had a better idea of the purpose for the hearing and what she’d be expected to say. The burden of proof would be on the women’s organization to prove the need for immediate action by the judge. Jeremy’s response would largely depend on the evidence presented by the other attorney. He and Sandy would rehearse her testimony some more during the drive to Atlanta for the hearing.

  While she got ready to leave for the football game, Sandy glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. The slightly goofy smile she’d worn to school was still on her face.

  And she didn’t want it to leave.

  THIRTY-ONE

  Sunday morning Sandy woke up at first light and immediately knew it would be impossible to go back to sleep. It was several hours before she needed to leave for Tryon, so to fill the time she took Nelson for a postdawn walk. The temperature was brisk and the streets deserted. A morning walk wasn’t part of Nelson’s routine, and he excitedly pulled on the leash when they started off. Sandy sipped coffee from a travel mug. Slung over her shoulder was her camera.

  Sandy took a route that passed her childhood home. The people who owned it now had maintained the outside of the house, but the yard was a shadow of its past manicured brilliance. It was a clear morning, and the fresh sun beautifully illuminated the residence. Sandy took several photos for Jeremy. The backyard was empty. Sandy had given the Victorian playhouse to Jessica when her older daughter turned four. It was better for the playhouse to be used by a child than endure a lonely wait for Sandy’s daughter who would never come.

  Several blocks away, Sandy turned down a street she rarely visited and stopped in front of the single-story brick ranch house that had been the Donnelly home. The house was no longer a source of pain. Finding Jeremy had removed the remaining hurt from her heart. She snapped a few photos.

  At home, she began selecting pictures to include in Jeremy’s album. She decided to keep it simple and not overwhelm him. She picked out one or two pictures a year from her childhood until her senior year in high school. There weren’t many photos from her pregnancy, so she added most of them, including the one with Jessica in the kitchen.

  The only pictures of Brad were in their high school yearbook. As a football star and first baseman on the baseball team, he figured prominently. Sandy had her share of coverage from the fall term. After that, she disappeared as if snatched from the earth.

  Butterflies fluttered in Sandy’s stomach during the twenty-minute drive to Tryon. She was looking forward to seeing Jeremy and meeting Leanne but was anxious she might say or do the wrong thing. The church parking lot was crowded. Sandy had put on a blue dress and a lightweight white sweater. A necklace around her neck was complemented by matching earrings. She saw people wearing jeans and felt overdressed. When she reached the church entrance there was no sign of Deb Bridges or Jeremy and his family.

  “Good morning,” said a male voice behind her. “What brings you all the way over here?”

  Sandy turned around. It was John Bestwick.

  “Uh, meeting a friend,” Sandy replied. “I didn’t know you attended this church.”

  “Just started a few months ago. A guy I know from college goes here with his family and invited me. There’s been a big change in my life since then, but I guess you haven’t noticed.”

  Sandy remembered the kind note John wrote when she returned from her first meeting with Dr. Vale.

  “Maybe a little,” she said.

  “When was the last time you heard me lose my temper with a player and cuss him out?”

  “Never.”

  John pointed to his head. “But there was plenty of that going on in here.”

  Deb came up to them, and Sandy introduced them.

  “If you have any influence with Sandy, put in a good word for me,” John said to Deb. “I’ve been trying to buy her a steak dinner for months.”

  John entered the church.

  “He seems like a nice guy,” Deb said after John left. “And he seems very interested in you.”

  Sandy noticed that Deb wasn’t wearing a wedding band.

  “Don’t let that keep you from getting to know him. He’s the boys’ basketball coach at Rutland High. If he offers to buy you a steak dinner, let him do it.”

  They went into the sanctuary. It was a long, rectangular metal building.

  “Where do Jeremy and his family sit?” Sandy asked.

  “Usually in the back on the left.”

  “Then let’s sit on the right.”

  “I thought we’d worship together.”

  “Not today,” Sandy said firmly.

  The sanctuary started to fill up. Sandy kept glancing over her shoulder until she saw Jeremy and Leanne enter the room. Jeremy was looking around and their eyes met. He smiled and waved before whispering something to Leanne, who looked intently in her direction and nodded slightly. Jeremy and Leanne continued up the aisle and sat on the left side of the sanctuary. Sandy could see Leanne lean in close to Jeremy and start talking.

  “There’re Jeremy and Leanne,” Deb said, nudging Sandy.

  “Yes, I saw them come in.”

  The service reminded Sandy of Ben and Betsy’s church. She could see John Bestwick’s head close to the front of the room. It warmed Sandy’s heart that the basketball coach was connecting with something other than the squeak of shoes in a high school gym. The songs were new to Sandy. Deb sang boisterously and didn’t seem to notice that Sandy held back.

  The sermon topic for the day was taken from the story of the prodigal son. The pastor, a man named Mark, was in his early forties and seemed comfortable in his role as a speaker. He read the famous passage from Luke’s Gospel, then focused on the need for every person to have the perspective of the father who wanted the son to return home without recrimination. Sandy was grateful that her son wasn’t a prodigal.

  At the conclusion of the message, the congregation was encouraged to divide into groups of four or five and pray for the prodigals in their families. An older couple in front of Deb and Sandy turned around, and the four of them became an instant small group. Deb prayed for a sister, an uncle, and a woman she’d known for more than twenty years who’d recently turned away from God. The older couple added a few more names to the list. While the wife prayed, Sandy racked her brain to come up with someone to mention. When the couple finished, Sandy sat in awkward silence for a moment, then prayed for her nephew Robbie. She wasn’t sure Robbie qualified as a prodigal; he just liked to sleep late on Sunday mornings and went to church only when visiting his parents in Rutland. But as she mentioned his name, Sandy knew that Betsy would appreciate the prayer.

  The end of the service left Sandy with a logistical dilemma. How was she going to separate from Deb so she could spend private time with Jeremy and Leanne?

  “What did you think?” Deb asked. “Isn’t Pastor Mark a good speaker?”

  “Yes.”

  Sandy saw Jeremy and Leanne moving toward them.

  “Go ahead,” Sandy said to Deb. “I’m fine on my own.”

  “I thought we could go to lunch,” Deb replied. “There’s a cute spot with scrumptious sandwiches not far from the church. It’s the sort of place I think you’d enjoy.”

  “Uh, I’m sure I would, but I wasn’t going to—” Sandy stopped as Jeremy came up to her.

  He leaned over and gave her a hug. Deb’s eyes widened. Leanne extended her hand to Sandy.

  “Jeremy hasn’t stopped talking about you since he got home on Thursday,” Leanne said.

  A big grin on his face, Jeremy turned to Deb, who was gawking at Leanne.

  “Deb, you may as well find out now, since it will come up at the office soon eno
ugh. Sandy is my birth mother.”

  Deb took a step back, then looked at Jeremy and Sandy in quick succession.

  “Wow!”

  Jeremy leaned over so his face was beside Sandy’s.

  “Does that help?”

  Deb stared at them for a few seconds.

  “Yeah, it’s uncanny.” She nodded. “How in the world did you figure it out?”

  “I’ll fill you in later,” Jeremy said. “I wanted Sandy to meet Leanne before we pick up the kids. I’m not going to say anything to them until I talk to my mom. So I’d ask you to keep a lid on this too. If I didn’t think you could, I wouldn’t tell you.”

  “Sure,” Deb said, glancing at Sandy again. “Amazing.”

  Deb moved away but looked over her shoulder twice before she’d gone ten feet. Sandy turned to Leanne.

  “I know this is a shock,” Sandy said. “And I hope Jeremy told you that I don’t want to disrupt your family or cause any problems. It was so unexpected, and I wasn’t sure—”

  Sandy saw tears come into Leanne’s eyes and stopped. Jeremy put his arm around Leanne.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  Leanne wiped away the tears with her hand.

  “I suddenly thought how I’d feel if I had to go through my life without seeing Zach until he was a grown man.”

  Within seconds, tears were streaming down Sandy’s cheeks. Leanne stepped forward and hugged Sandy as tightly as a best friend. Sandy felt Jeremy’s hand on her shoulder. She and Leanne parted. Leanne, her eyes red, looked in Sandy’s face.

  “I don’t know you, but I hope you feel what is in my heart for you.”

  “I do.” Sandy managed a small smile. “I feel like the prodigal mother who has come home to open arms and a big feast.”

  “But you didn’t do anything wrong,” Jeremy quickly cut in.

  “She knows what I mean,” Sandy said, keeping her eyes on Leanne. “I walked away from my babies. And now one of them has been brought back to me.”

  Leanne briefly hugged Sandy again. Jeremy had a confused look on his face.

  “Don’t worry, honey.” Leanne patted Jeremy on the arm. “You’re a smart lawyer, but you’re not supposed to understand everything a woman thinks and feels.”