Five Reasons To Go (The Risky Hearts Duet Book 2)

by Candace Knoebel

  With a small, pleased sigh, she settled back against my shoulder.

  A yawn tore across her lip as we passed under the city lights, halos of yellow painting our skin inside the dimly lit cab. By the time I was parked behind the shop, Jess was completely knocked out. I parked as quietly as I could, careful as I shut the engine off. Once I was out of the cab, she stirred a little when I pulled her into my arms. It was cold as fuck, so I moved as quickly as I could. Typed in the code for the back door. Carried her up the stairs, then punched in the other code to get through the front door. After stepping out of my shoes, I carried her through the entryway.

  Just as I had suspected, Nic was passed out on the couch, the TV playing an old black-and-white film. Ciana was on the floor beside him, bundled in a horde of blankets. I carried Jess to our room. Laid her down and wiggled her shoes off, then her jeans. After she was covered, I went back for Ciana and lifted her, still bundled in her blankets, and carried her to her room.

  Nic was leaning against the wall by the time I came back out for him.

  “Jack?”

  “Hey, bud.” I kneeled in front of him.

  “I have to pee.”

  I chuckled. “Can you make it to the bathroom?”

  His fists circled around his sleepy eyes, and then he stumbled down the hallway toward the bathroom like a drunken sailor.

  I gathered up his blankets and took them to his room, then waited until he was in his bed, setting his glasses on the nightstand.

  “Night, bud,” I said, shutting the door behind him.

  I stood there for a moment in the middle of the hallway, gazing between the three doors that surrounded me, each protecting a piece of my heart I had unknowingly given. Each giving me a chance at something I never thought I’d even want.

  And then I trudged into our room. Curled up next to the love of my life.

  The woman who saved me.

  The woman I would die for.

  Chapter 22

  Jack

  It was Christmas Eve and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t alone.

  “Do you have any traditions, Jack?” Nic asked as he dug into his bowl of cereal. His dark hair was pointed in all directions. His glasses slipping down the slope of his nose.

  “Like?” I said over the rim of my coffee.

  “We like to open one gift the night before Christmas.” Ciana picked at her muffin. “We’ve done it for as long as I can remember.”

  I stirred my cereal, thinking. Felt my forehead crease as I realized I didn’t have any. “No.” Though we celebrated Christmas, there wasn’t anything significant I could remember other than waking up, opening a few presents, and being sent to my room to play with whatever I was given while my mother hosted her friends with eggnog and dancing.

  I guessed I could call being alone a tradition.

  “You should make one,” Nic encouraged, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. “Everyone should have a tradition.”

  “I should, shouldn’t I.” A small smirk pulled at my lips. “Hmm… let me think on it. How does that sound?”

  He gave me an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

  Jess cleared her throat. She had barely touched her muffin. Only had maybe a sip from her coffee. I knew she was worried. She told me the night before that Hank wanted to be with the kids when they opened their present tonight. I offered to go somewhere else, so they could have family time, but she refused the idea.

  “We’re together now. He’s going to have to get used to it,” she’d said, shutting me down.

  “Kids.” She cupped her mug. “Dad will be coming by tonight to see you open the gifts.”

  They both stilled, their smiles dulling. This was new territory. Though we had adjusted to living in the same house, we had yet to share a holiday together. I was a third wheel in the mix. A newcomer still learning his place.

  “Will Jack be there, too?” Nic asked, clearing the elephant in the room.

  Jess grabbed my hand. “Yes. He’s a part of us now.”

  Ciana caught my eyes for a moment, fear reflecting in them.

  My stomach turned sour.

  “I might go for a walk, though. Who knows?” I tried to play it off, but it loomed.

  Jess jerked her eyes to mine.

  I took the last bite of cereal, then drank the milk from the bowl. “I’m going to get some work done for a bit.” I stood as I placed my dish in the sink. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the office.”

  The office. Hank’s old room converted into a workspace we could all function out of.

  I spent the first hour going through emails from various businesses wanting to donate to the shelter, and then found myself scrolling through Facebook. When Corinne and Cole appeared with their daughter by their sides, I was shocked when I didn’t feel anything but happiness for them. Their daughter was breathtakingly beautiful. Long, curly dark hair. Big, bright green eyes. She favored Corinne. Cole was staring at her, his face soft and eyes adoring.

  I leaned back in my chair, sated. The world had revolved back around to where it needed to be. She’d found peace. So had I.

  I had an inkling to reach out to them. To wish them a happy holidays, but then stopped myself. Although at one point our worlds had been in orbit with one another, we were now in different galaxies.

  I scrolled some more, opening an article about lovelocks wrapped around the parapets of a bridge in Paris. It got me to thinking about when I was a kid. When my dad surprised us with a trip to Paris.

  I was pretty sure it might have been the only time I ever saw them happy with each other.

  I remembered exploring the city, stumbling upon the structure covered in thousands of locks. I touched them as I walked over the bridge. Was stopped by an older man who spoke in French. He handed me a lock, but I had no idea what he was saying.

  A young man behind me said, “He says to make a wish, then lock the wish to the bridge.”

  I took the lock, thanking him. Closed my eyes and made a wish for the video game I’d been wanting.

  I never did get the game, but I didn’t care. I’d left a small part of myself on the bridge that day. A happiness that would be forever bound in Paris.

  “I know what I want to do,” I said, finding them curled up on the couch watching holiday movies.

  They looked at me as if I were a crazy person.

  “Come on. Get dressed. We’re heading out.”

  “Driving through Brooklyn?” Ciana asked. “That’s your idea of a tradition?”

  “I’m looking for a hardware store. If you see one, point it out.”

  We had been stuck in traffic for a while. I realized after the millionth groan from the backseat that I probably should have planned everything out before spontaneously herding everyone into the car.

  “There’s one,” Nic said a moment later, tapping his finger against the cool glass.

  I turned into a parking spot, and then shut off the engine.

  “So, what exactly are we doing?” Jess was bundled up in a scarf imprinted with blackbirds.

  “We’re going to go inside, and each pick a lock.”

  Her eyebrow lifted. “A lock?”

  “Yes.” A small chuckle. “Come on. Everybody out.”

  Groans were met one by one as they dragged their feet into the store.

  Ciana grabbed one without even looking, her eyes rolling so far back I feared they’d get stuck.

  Nic took his time, but eventually settled on a red one.

  Jess grabbed a black one, and I grabbed a pink one.

  “Pink?”

  “You’ll see.”

  At the register, I paid for them and a sharpie, and then we loaded back into the car.

  “Now what?” Ciana asked as I headed to the shop.

  “Now the magic happens.”

  The traffic home wasn’t nearly as crazy. Once the car was parked, we stood in the alley off to the side of the shop. The two-story brick wall was painted in blue with white clo
uds and black birds flying in all directions. A small fountain was in the middle, surrounded by tables and chairs where customers could sit and eat. It had become a staple for photo opportunities, but now I wanted to do something more. Something special.

  I grabbed the lattice that was propped up around back, unused and lonely, and brought it back to where they stood. After screwing it to the wall, I pulled out the sharpie, handing it to Nic.

  “What’s this for?”

  “I want you to write a wish on the backside, and then put the lock on the lattice. When you’re done, drop the key in the fountain.”

  He scratched the side of his head. “Why?”

  “Oh, I get it,” Ciana piped in. “This is like that bridge thing where couples put their initials on the lock, then put it on the bridge and throw away the key. It’s supposed to mean they’re together forever or something, right?”

  “Something like that,” I said with small chuckle. “Only we’re going to switch ours up a little. We’re going to call this the wishing fence. People can come and make wishes. Offer them to the fence in hopes they’ll come true.”

  Jessica’s lips rose, her cheeks deepening in color.

  “When I was a kid, I locked a wish to a bridge in Paris.”

  “Did it come true?” Nic’s gaze was fastened to me, completely caught up in what I was saying.

  “No. Sometimes not all wishes are meant to be fulfilled. Some are just there to inspire us. To give us hope.”

  Nic studied his lock, then scribbled something small on the back. He handed me the pen, hurrying to adhere the lock to the fence. Once the key was dropped in the fountain, he stood back, smiling.

  “What did you wish for?” Ciana asked.

  “I can’t tell you!”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a dork. All I have to do is look on the back of your lock.”

  He put his hands on his hips. “You do that, and I swear I’ll make you regret it.”

  “Guys.” Jessica moved between them. “This is supposed to be a special moment. Jack’s new tradition. Let’s make the most of it, okay?”

  Their heads hung.

  I handed Ciana the pen. Squeezed her shoulder. “Go for it.”

  She took a moment, chewing her lip in indecision, and then finally wrote something on the back. After kissing the key, she dropped it in the fountain, and then handed Jess the pen.

  It took only seconds for Jess to write, lock, and drop the key into the fountain. She was grinning, the spark in her eyes growing with every passing second.

  I drew a heart on the back of the pink lock, and then wrote all our initials in the middle. I said, “My only wish is to always feel the love I feel for all of you in this moment, forever. I know I’m the luckiest man alive to be able to share a home with you and be a part of your lives.

  “You’ve given me my first real Christmas. You showed me the magic in the holiday.” I placed the lock on the fence, and then closed it. “And I hope that magic lasts forever.”

  Jess’ eyes were watery as I dropped the key into the fountain. Her hands wrapped around my sides, and then Ciana’s and Nic’s. We stood there, a messy but beautifully glued together family.

  Chapter 23

  Jessica

  Every one of my nerves had completely wound into tightly formed knots as I stared at the clock on the mantle.

  Any moment, Hank would be knocking on the door. He would be in my living room, near Jack with the kids around. I told myself everything would be okay. Since the first mediation meeting, Hank had been nothing but civil toward me. But that didn’t mean I was a fool.

  I knew Hank.

  Jack was in the shower. He told me he’d be quick, but I wouldn’t blame him if he hid in there the entire time. It was awkward, this encounter. It would be the first time they’d ever been in a room together. And with the kids.

  The doorknob jiggled and got up, nearly running toward the door. The monitor showed Hank’s face peering into the camera with a bulky scowl.

  A few twists of the lock, and there he was, hands on his hips, shadows cast over his eyes from his pitched eyebrows. “You changed the locks?”

  I forced my warmest smile. “A while ago.”

  “Is your boy toy here?” He peered past my shoulder, eyes tracing every inch of what he could see. There was a hoppy stench to his breath. He’d been drinking again.

  Great.

  “Hank,” I said sternly, lowering my voice. “Please, can’t we just get through this without any problems?”

  “Is he?”

  My gaze wavered.

  He cleaved a grunt. “What an example you are. Married, but seeing someone else.”

  The brunt edge of annoyance slid down my spine. “Separated. And let’s not forget about Katarina and that nice little apartment you just got together.”

  “Jealous?”

  My eyes rolled. “Hardly.”

  He grunted, and then stalked past me.

  Nic got up, running toward him the moment he saw him. “Dad!” he shouted, hugging him tight.

  Hank’s scowl was fast replaced with a smile as he patted Nic’s back, and then ruffled his hair. He moved into the living room, walking with a wide stride, like he owned the place, to where Ciana sat curled up on the couch, messing with her phone.

  “No hugs for your father?”

  She barely looked up at him. “Hey.”

  “Ciana Marie Krause,” I said. “Give your dad a hug.”

  She groaned and then stood, arms limp as she moved them around his midsection.

  Hank hiked up the middle of his pants as he sat in the middle of the couch where Jack and I had been sitting. “So.” He rubbed his hands together, eying the tree. “How many presents have you shaken up?”

  “None,” Nic said. “I want to be surprised.”

  “How about you?” Hank asked in Ciana’s direction.

  “Same.” She never took her eyes from her phone.

  “Jess, the hot water is out. I’m going to go look—” Jack paused in the hallway, toweling his hair while wearing only a pair of jeans. “Oh, hey, Hank.” A strained smile crossed his lips. His eyes found mine, his thoughts shielded. “I’m going to check it out, okay? Be right back.”

  Hank stood. “I can do it.” His tone was an octave lower than normal. “It’s always going out.”

  Jack cleared his throat. Waved him off with another smile. “I appreciate it, but I got it. Thanks, though.”

  Hank took a step forward. “I insist.” His words were careful. Even. “She’s a finicky thing. You have to tune her just right.”

  “I’m sure I can figure out her tune all on my own.” Jack’s voice dropped as well. His eyes cut into slants.

  “I’m sure you can.” Sarcasm oozed from his words. “But speaking from experience, I’m going to have to debate that thought and insist I fix it.”

  He patted Jack on the shoulder, and then walked past him, heading for the hot water heater. Jack’s jaw ticked. His teeth ground together as his knuckles paled from the strain.

  I stood. “Hank!” I shouted, fists balled at my sides. “This is my house, and I’m asking you, kindly, to let Jack do it.”

  Everyone froze.

  “You’re here for the kids. Not to fix my hot water heater. So, please, come spend time with them.”

  Hank turned, and I swore his eyes flashed black with hatred.

  Jack headed past him, not bothering looking his way.

  “Dad?” Nic said, his tone rocky. “Should we open now?”

  When Hank nodded tersely, Nic jumped up, grabbing the present he’d been eying for the past week.

  “Ciana.” He rocked on his knees beside the tree. He knew he couldn’t open without her.

  She slid off the couch, then reached for a random box.

  “Go,” I called, my heart flexing as they tore through the paper.

  “Wow.” Nic unwrapped the video game he’d been wanting. “Thanks!” He jumped to his feet, running for his room.r />
  “You’re welcome!” I singsonged down the hallway

  “No way.” Ciana screamed as she unwrapped the eyeshadow pallet she’d been wanting forever. “Mom!” She jumped up to hug me. “I can’t believe you got it. They’re sold out!”

  “I know.” Happiness bubbled up my throat. “I stood in line for hours to make sure I got one.”

  “Thank you!”

  Hank cleared his throat. We both turned, having forgotten his presence.

  “Thank you, Dad.” Her excitement died off the edges of her words. She glanced back to me. “I think I’m going to try it out.”

  I kissed her forehead. “Okay.”

  Once she was gone, I stood staring after her, an awkwardness setting in.

  “It always happens so fast,” I said, trying to dispel some of it.

  “What kid doesn’t like opening gifts?”

  I turned. “So what time did you say you were going to be here in the morning?” I knew what time; I just wanted to fill the silence. Try to send him on his way.

  “Ten. Mom is going to make brunch.”

  “Okay.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’ll make sure they don’t get too full off breakfast.”

  The dark silence grew heavy. The seconds quivered in his presence. He didn’t fit inside these walls anymore. He’d stained them with his smoggy hate, and now they pushed back.

  “Thank you for coming by.”

  He spun, eyes weighted with disdain. “I don’t like this, Jess. This was our tradition. Now everything is wrong. He shouldn’t be here for this.”

  I inhaled sharply. “Hank.”

  He shook his head, his glare deepening, sucking the air from the room. “You were a mistake, you know that? All those years ago on that rooftop. With your innocent eyes. It was a sham. I should have never pity fucked you.”

  “Get out.” The words rolled out tight and even. “Now.”

  His smirk made my stomach turn. “Sure thing, Jess.”

  I didn’t like how he drawled out the edge of my name. There was a danger to it. A sharpness that didn’t belong.