Lessons Learned

by Amy Lynn Steele

  She was right. My mom, Danielle Perez, had single handedly built this empire. An empire that had given me the advantages I had in life, premium schooling being at the top of that list. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon. My mom had made me work for everything I had. I owed her for the life I’ve had and it was a debt I was more than willing to pay back. She had not only built a life for us, but a future for Ali and I and any children we might one day have.

  “I’ll start next week after finishing up the semester's finals,” I told her. My mom’s smile was all the assurance I needed to know I was doing the right thing. I sat in my car for a long time following our conversation, praying I had made the right choice. When I saw the relief finally touch her features it hit me. This is where I was supposed to be now. I took a deep breath and knew in my soul that this was right.

  The sun was slowly starting to lighten the sky when Robert turned to me. “How about I make us a big breakfast?”

  I smiled and took his empty beer bottle and put it in the recycle bin. “I’ll make some coffee.”

  “Good idea,” he said opening the slider to the kitchen.

  Allison was still sleeping, but the scent of coffee would wake her up. I made a pot of regular for Robert and I, then brewed some decaf for Ali. Eggs were scrambled and bacon was sizzling when Ali padded into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. She looked me up and down, making sure I was in one piece, before putting her hands on her hips.

  “She asked you to quit your job and come to work at Los Jalapeños, didn’t she?”

  I shook my head in disbelief. I was expecting a fight. I was prepared for Ali to be pissed that I hadn’t called her last night and showed up at dawn. But of course my wonderful wife new exactly what was going on. She had warned me months ago that this was coming, that it was just a matter of time and that a catalyst of some kind would make it a necessity. I hadn’t wanted to believe her, but she was right. I crossed the kitchen and pulled her into my chest.

  “Yes,” I said into her ear. “And I told her that I would. Martin was in a bad accident and will be out of commission for awhile.” I shrugged. “Mom needs me and I want to be there for her. It just feels right.”

  Ali was nodding, but I could feel her shaking. “I understand,” Her voice low, almost too low. “When do you start?”

  I pulled back far enough to look her in the eyes. “I’m going to meet with Martin on Monday.”

  Her chocolate brown eyes widened a fraction. “So soon?”

  “It will be all right. Sure, I’ll be busy at first while I’m learning, but in the long run I’ll be home more than when I was teaching.” She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes.

  “Can I still take you on our surprise date tomorrow?”she asked sheepishly. I kissed the tip of her nose.

  “I wouldn’t miss it.” I promised her and pulled her back tightly to me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Allison

  “Almost there,” I told Cooper.

  I had blindfolded him for effect, but I was sure he knew exactly where we were. At the tree line I took the cover from his eyes. A blanket was spread in the center of fifty white pillar candles, a replica of the special night he had set up for us during our first summer together. A night we’ve duplicated many times over the years, all of them equally special.

  He smiled and kissed me soundly on the lips. “We aren’t chasing the sun anymore,” he said. That was what I had told him that night all those years ago, quoting Dracula.

  “No, you are my sun now,” I told him bringing his lips to mine. “And I caught you.”

  Cooper brought my mouth to his and kissed me. It was a fairly passionate kiss for being so public, but I didn’t mind. His hands wound themselves in my hair and his tongue played at my lips. I had planned more of this for the night, so we were off to a very good start. He groaned and pulled back, trying to control himself. I took his hand, leading him to the blanket. At least the cover of the trees would hide us from people passing by.

  We settled onto the blanket and I pulled a picnic basket closer. It was filled with cheeses, crackers, chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. Cooper’s eyebrows rose at the alcohol. We’d always had sparkling cider, never champagne. I smiled and shrugged.

  “I thought we would try something different tonight,” my words sounding much sultrier than I intended.

  Cooper grabbed the bottle and immediately uncorked it. “For you my love, anything,” he said with a smile as he poured the bubbling liquid into the plastic cups that had been hiding within the basket.

  We sipped the champagne and nibbled on the snacks, silently watching the waves crash and spill over the sand. There is something so peaceful in watching the ocean. I sighed and leaned closer against Cooper’s side, resting my head on his shoulder. His hand reached around and rested on my hip. For a moment it was just us, none of the other stresses in our lives. We are here, at our spot, continuing to fall in love.

  I turned my head and started to kiss Cooper’s neck softly. I could hear his breathing hitch, which was all the confirmation I needed. Just like our first night on this beach, I held his face in my hands and tried to convey every emotion I was feeling with my kiss. I let my hands find their way under his shirt and explored his chest. Cooper groaned into my kiss and his hands started to do their own exploration. I pushed him back slowly, until he was lying flat on the blanket. I leaned over my husband and gently moved my leg across his body, placing myself on top of him. Our kiss was becoming desperate, our bodies needing more than they were getting.

  Cooper kissed his way to my shoulder, pulled me closer, and then rolled so we would change positions. The feeling of his body gently pushing me into the blanket made me hungry for more. As if it had a mind of its own, my leg hooked itself around Cooper’s hips.

  “Allison,” Cooper whispered into the dark spring night.

  I didn’t let him say more, fearing he would stop. I sealed my mouth to his and my arms locked around his neck, my fingers tangling themselves in his hair. After a heartbeat of hesitation he became as frenzied as I was. One of his hands glided under my shirt, while the other pushed my skirt up my thighs. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling his mouth tighter to mine.

  Cooper pulled back far enough to look at me. I knew my cheeks were flushed, my eyes a little wide, maybe even wild. But under his gaze I felt beautiful and desired. Without breaking eye contact he united us, filling me in every way possible. He quieted for a moment, as consumed by the intimacy as I was, before continuing to make me his. For a few minutes my mind and body disconnected and I found myself in a completely blissful state. When Cooper stilled, he rested his head on my shoulder, kissed it, and then put his head back down.

  “Well,” I mused, “that was something different.”

  In all the years we had been coming to our beach, we’ve never let it go that far. Of course we might have wanted to, but we were on the outskirts of a public beach for Heaven’s sake! I can’t even blame the champagne, because we hardly dented the bottle. I think it was just pure need uninhibiting us, letting our bodies say what we couldn’t. Cooper kissed my swollen lips lightly before rolling to his side.

  “Yeah,” he breathed. He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. “That got out of control really fast. We shouldn’t have done that.”

  Disappointment and rejection hummed through my veins. I sat up slowly adjusting my clothes back into place and suddenly feeling cold. A chill ran over my skin and I rubbed my hands over my arms trying to warm myself. I had gone from outrageously happy to feeling disillusioned. I sniffed back tears I hadn’t realized pooled in my eyes. Cooper’s ice blue eyes snapped to me and flared.

  “What’s wrong?” He softly demanded while he pushed some of the lose hair from my face. I couldn’t say anything for fear the tears would escape. “Did I,” he paused, “hurt you?” Horror touched his question.

  “No, of course you didn’t,” I said. Not physically.

  Coop tende
rly touched my chin and turned my face to meet his. “What I should have said was how amazing that was and how I have wanted to do that for years right here on this very spot. I should have said that it felt like I was having the best dream of my life come true and that you are perfect, incredible and extremely sexy. I just don’t want to share that wanton side of you with anyone else and I am worried that I risked that here tonight. I promised to protect you, and tonight I failed. I’m sorry.”

  Well, holding back the tears wasn’t in the cards for me tonight. Cooper pulled my chin slightly forward and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. He used his thumb to wipe the tears from my cheeks before kissing me again.

  “Thank you for a night I’ll never forget,” he whispered tenderly.

  I could feel some of my discontent melt away with his words and affection. I knew better than to think that he could mean anything negative with his words toward me, toward us. I had made myself utterly vulnerable and was exhausted, emotionally and physically. The excitement of baby Joel’s birth and the fact that Coop would be changing his career in a few short days was starting to take its toll. I let him hold me, the darkness of the night being fought off by the flicker of the candles surrounding us. Most had been extinguished with the ocean breeze, but enough twinkled that it appeared as if a couple dozen or so fireflies hovered above the sand. The magic of the setting had not been lost. Cooper kept kissing my hair, my hands and my cheeks until the tension dissipated completely.

  “Let’s go home,” my voice raw with emotion. I wanted very badly to get off the public beach and back to the privacy of our home.

  We quickly cleaned up the candles, blanket and picnic basket. We didn’t say much as we loaded it into the car. Coop took my cold hand in his, holding them the entire drive home, drawing soft circles with his thumb over my sensitive skin. When we pulled into the garage the silence became too much for me. I leaned over the center console and pulled Cooper’s unsuspecting lips to mine. If he was shocked he didn’t show it, responding immediately.

  We clumsily worked our way out of the car and into our place. Articles of clothing sloppily removed, thrown about the kitchen and living room before finally making it to our bedroom. Cooper tossed me easily on the bed and our night continued as if we hadn’t left the beach.

  The sun was floating in the early morning sky when I woke up. Cooper was sound asleep looking a bit worn from our night, but his face was peaceful. I pulled on some jeans and a light sweatshirt before pulling my hair into a sloppy bun. I wrote a quick note on where I was and kissed my husband on the head.

  It was a perfect spring morning, the sun warm and the breeze cool. I made the short walk to our local coffee shop, Jumping Beans, with the hope that some much needed caffeine would help us get though our day. The small café was packed and I was forced to wait in line. People poured in and out, locals and tourists alike. I pulled my phone out to send Christina a quick message. She came home from the hospital a couple days ago and I hadn’t been able to stop by as much as I would’ve like. Cooper and I planned on seeing them later today.

  How are you doing mama? How’s my perfect nephew? What time can we come see you today?

  I didn’t expect a response right away and was hoping my friend was getting some much needed sleep. I stepped to the counter and placed my order for two soy maple spice lattes. I moved to the end of the counter near the lids and stir straws while I waited for them to call my name. I mindlessly scanned through Instagram occasionally looking for familiar faces in the busy coffee crowd.

  “Allison,” the barista called.

  I smiled at her as I took the paper cups from the counter and turned to leave. But suddenly, my feet wouldn’t move. My eyes locked on a familiar face that I had somehow missed. Sean. Sean sitting next to a very attractive woman that wasn’t Christina. His mysterious companion had long brown hair covering part of her face, and a shirt tight across her breasts emblazoned with the Jumping Beans logo. Sean leaned in closer to her, whispering something and she nodded. He pushed the hair behind her ear, an intimate gesture that almost made me drop the coffee cups. She was obviously crying and took Sean’s hand in hers.

  “Excuse me,” someone said rather loudly from behind me.

  I turned slowly, not remembering exactly where I was. The interruption broke the almost dream state I had fallen into. When I turned back, wide sandy green eyes were locked on me. He didn’t take his eyes off of mine as he spoke quietly to the girl at the table. I hit the exit at a sprint. I needed to get out of there and fast. I couldn’t wrap my brain around what I had just witnessed. I shook my head, trying to erase the images from my brain. It didn’t work.

  Sean had been so attentive to Christina and baby Joel. His face and eyes were soft every time he looked at them. He had been a man in love. But today, well, today he seemed like the Sean I’d met all of those years ago. He and Christina seemed to be happy, but maybe the constraints of responsibility have finally hit him, weighing him down.

  “Ali,” Sean shouted seconds after I’d ran from the noisy coffee shop. I didn’t stop, I couldn’t. The anger started to boil inside me and if I was afraid that if I stopped moving the rage I was feeling would burn him. “Hey,” he said closer to me.

  I still didn’t stop despite the fact that he was now keeping pace with me. “Save it Sean,” I hissed.

  “Shit Allison, just stop and listen for a second,” his voice pleading.

  I spun on my heel to face him, to spew my growing annoyance. “You are your father’s son aren’t you?”

  I wanted to take it back the second I said it. Sean looked like I had just punched him in the gut and then kicked him while he was down. He took an uneasy step away from me, the pain evident in his face. For a moment we just stood there at an impasse, staring at each other in silence. After a tortuously long minute had passed, I tuned and headed home. I risked one glance over my shoulder and Sean still stood there on the busy sidewalk, frozen in emotional pain.

  “You are a saint,” Cooper said taking a cup of coffee from me.

  I was numb. I didn’t even remember walking the rest of the way home. Every part of my brain and heart hurt. I wandered into the kitchen and set my coffee on the counter. I hadn’t noticed my hands shaking. I sighed and rubbed a hand over my eyes, a headache already starting. I sighed again as I fished my phone from my pocket.

  “Ali honey, what’s wrong?” Coop put his hand on my hip and pulled me closer to him.

  I shook my head again and blinked a few times. “I just saw Sean with another woman.”

  I heard the words coming from my mouth, but still didn’t believe I was saying them. Cooper’s eyebrows knitted together and he too shook his head. His crystal blue eyes darkened for a moment.

  “Are you sure?” doubt filling his question.

  I let out an exasperated sigh and threw my hands in the air. “Yes I am sure!”

  Cooper put his hands up in a surrender position. “I just can’t believe it.”

  “Knock knock,” came an unexpected voice.

  Cooper and I spun to find Christina at our door with baby Joel’s car seat hooked through her arm. She looked happy, so freaking happy. Her smiling green eyes bounced back and forth between us, golden brows coming together.

  “Uh oh baby,” she cooed. “It looks like uncle and auntie are grumpy.” We walked woodenly to the door, trying to welcome Christina in without alerting her that the problem we were having had something to do with her.

  Cooper was the first to break out of the trance. “Give me that nephew of mine,” he said as he took the car seat from Christina’s arm.

  When he turned his head Christina mouthed Are you all right? No, my friend, I was not all right. Cooper unclipped the baby from his seat and cradled him in his arms.

  “Ugh, I gotta pee again,” Christina sighed. “I don’t think my body will ever go back to normal.”

  We were both silent as she shuffled to the bathroom. Once the door shut Cooper turned his head in my direction. �
�Allison,” his tone filled with warning.

  “I have to tell her what I saw,” I snapped back. “She deserves to know.”

  “She is highly emotional right now.” He had a point. “Give Sean a chance to explain.”

  “Give Sean a chance to explain what?” Christina asked. Both of our heads snapped in her direction. We hadn’t heard her come back into the living room and now she stood there with her slender arms crossed over her chest. “What is going on? First, I get a text from Sean saying he needs to talk with me before I talk with you and then I walk in on whatever you guys are talking about.”

  “Christina,” I tried to keep my voice soothing.

  “Oh no, don’t you dare Christina me. Tell me what the hell is going on Ali.” I could hear the tremor in her voice. I dared a glance at Cooper, his eyes trying to silently warn me.

  “Let’s sit down and I will tell you what I saw,” I said. “But I will only be telling my side because that’s all I can provide.”

  Christina reluctantly sat on the sofa next to me, Cooper holding baby Joel in the adjacent armchair. As tactfully as I could, I recalled what I had seen less than an hour before. I explained about Sean and the crying girl and how he had acted with her. I told her about how he had reacted when he saw me and the horrible thing I had said to him on the street. All of it. They both listened intently, Cooper’s eyes thoughtful and Christina’s filled with tears.

  “Shit,” Christina said putting her face in her hands. “It was just all too good to be true wasn’t it?”

  I put my hand on my friend’s leg. “I should have let him explain. And I really shouldn’t have said that he was like his dad.”

  “Oh he’ll explain all right,” venom tinged Christina’s words.

  As on cue, there was a knock on the door. “Christina I know you’re in there,” Sean yelled.

  Baby Joel stirred in Cooper’s arms. He stood and handed the little guy to me. The smile on his face wasn’t happy.