Back to the Drawing Board

by L. L. Collins

  “This is my favorite place to go shopping. My parents live just a few minutes from here. I called ahead, so we’re going to start at my dad’s favorite place to get suits and tuxes.” Julia turned her sporty blue BMW into a huge mall called Cherry Creek. I hadn’t stopped watching her out of the corner of my eye since she’d picked me up in this hot little car. The way it purred when she hit the gas, the way her leg moved when she shifted, every single thing about it exuded sex. And thinking of it that way made me think about having her in this car, as small as it was. I had to stop thinking this way or she was going to notice I had a problem.

  She was wearing shorts. Shorts. Kill me now. Her legs were tan and smooth, her muscles flexing as she drove. She had on an equally hot shirt, tight in just the right places. Julia had declared it shopping night, since the benefit was just days away. She’d insisted on picking me up, taking me to what looked like a high-end shopping center, and then a late dinner. If there was anything I’d learned about this girl so far, it was that she was used to getting her own way, and no one told her no. Not the people at work, not her clients, no one.

  I’d barely made it through the last week. We’d been working ten hours or more a day on the Adams project getting all of his specs ready. I tried to keep my distance from her, but that was hard when we spent every second of the day together. The only thing that had helped was Mr. and Mrs. Gibbons being part of many of our conversations. I could see parts of both of them in Julia.

  Julia parked, turning to look at me. She had her hair braided and pulled over one shoulder. She looked so young and carefree; nothing like the focused, professional businesswoman I worked closely with all day. “You’ve been very quiet, Carter. Everything okay?” Her large eyes trained on me, and I found myself lost in them, bouncing back and forth like a tide in the ocean. She wore minimal makeup, or at least it seemed she did. I loved that about her. So many young women spent too much time trying to make themselves into something they weren’t. Not Julia.

  “Great,” I said, my eyes still locked on hers. “Thanks for taking me shopping tonight. I admit I haven’t had to do much of this kind of shopping by myself.”

  She laughed, reaching out and resting her hand on my leg like it was the most natural thing in the world. I froze, wondering if she meant to do that.

  “Well, it just so happens it’s my expertise. It won’t be hard since I have quite a canvas to work with.”

  She was flirting with me. Her hand was on my leg. We were in a small car that felt like it just got a lot smaller. I couldn’t breathe.

  “Hey,” she said. I looked back at her, realizing she’d leaned over the console, closing what little space there had been between us. “Let’s not be coworkers tonight.”

  “What?”

  She lifted the hand that was on my leg and ran her fingers through my short hair. God. What was she doing? She hadn’t touched me since that night following the interview. I tried to control my rapid breathing, but I was sure I failed. “I don’t usually like a guy with scruff,” she whispered, her eyes on my lips as her wanton hand touched my face. “But I like it on you. A lot.” Before I could even fully register what she’d said, fireworks went off behind my eyes as she pressed her lips to mine, her eyes staring right through me as she did it. She didn’t try to take it any further, but pulled away slightly as if to measure my reaction. When I didn’t move away, she leaned forward and kissed me again. Her hand cupped the side of my face and her thumb caressed the short hairs I had on my jawline. No matter how many warning bells were going off in my head, I couldn’t make myself move. My fingers itched to reach out and touch her soft hair, her porcelain face.

  Seconds later, she was no longer kissing me, but her lips were hovered centimeters from mine. You could hear both of us breathing, but neither of us moved. I forced my hands to stay in my lap. I was just deciding what I should do when I heard a ringing coming from her side of the car. She didn’t move at first, but when it started up again, she dropped her hand from my face and dug into her purse to figure out who was calling her. She turned so she was looking out her window, and I lifted my hand, touching my lips with my fingers.

  She was making this harder by the second.

  BY THE TIME I GOT off the phone, talking Paige through something that needed to be done at the office, Carter was out of the car, pacing back and forth. I watched him for a moment, wondering if he regretted the kiss. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I did it anyway. Why? Well that was a damn good question. I’d fooled myself into thinking it didn’t matter since we were out socially together.

  I think I freaked him out. I seemed to lose my mind around him. Keeping it together during the last week had been torture. When he’d wiped that mayo from my mouth and burned a hole through my retinas with his hot gaze? I’d been a mess for hours. It was a wonder I’d been able to talk to Adams about anything that afternoon and make any sense. That had just been the beginning of several moments I’d wanted to jump him in the last week.

  Tracey found the whole thing hilarious. I moaned and groaned to her every day after work. I needed to either get him out of my system or find someone else. The problem with those two scenarios was, neither of them worked. I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with Carter, and I didn’t want anyone else. So, therein lied my problem.

  I touched my lips with my fingers, still feeling his warmth against me. I wanted to do that again. And again. And again. Sighing, I shoved my phone into my purse and stepped out of the car. I knew I got to him. I could read his shift in body language when he was trying to hold back. He was just as determined to keep me at arm’s length as I was to pull him closer to me. Despite the fact that I knew doing any of this was playing with fire, it didn’t seem to matter. I’d been ‘Good Girl’ Julia for way too long. I now saw something I wanted, and it was getting harder and harder to deny myself that.

  Carter looked up as he heard the car door shut. He made my mouth water in a tight grey shirt and jeans. Every muscle was visible in the way the shirt clung to him. I didn’t get to see those on a daily basis. “Ready?”

  I nodded, linking my arm with his, and dragged him towards the mall. I knew I probably made him uncomfortable, but unless he flat out told me to stop, I wasn’t going to. I didn’t think he would.

  “You going to come out or what?” I never thought I could love shopping more than I already did until I came shopping with Carter McIntyre. That man could fill out a tux. Everything fit like it was made for him and he had just stepped off the pages of GQ. I sent him back in with more options just so I could keep seeing him. We could’ve stopped twenty minutes ago when he put on the first one and I’d had to keep my mouth from dropping open.

  “Could you come here?” I jumped up, throwing the saleswoman a look of triumph. The tailor stood behind her, waiting for Carter to choose what he wanted. The perks of having shopped here for years with my father was, if I asked to get something that day, they did it. He wanted my help?

  He swung open the door just as I approached the dressing room door. I stopped in my tracks. Damn. This man could wear a tux, a suit, or a pair of jeans. He had a bow tie hanging from his finger, a sheepish look on his face. “I can’t tie this myself. Would you help me? Any bow tie I’ve ever worn has been . . . clipped.” He seemed embarrassed to admit that was the only style he’d ever worn.

  Even in my wedge sandals, I couldn’t reach far enough to tie it. “I . . . uh, need you to sit down,” I laughed. “Short people problems.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, pulling the chair over and sitting down. I moved around to the front of him, trying to ignore his scent wafting through my senses.

  I took the bow tie from his hands, and our fingers touched. I bit my lip to keep from gasping. The heat of his body so close to mine and my knees touching his as I moved in to wrap it around his neck made me suck in a breath.

  I could feel Carter looking at me, and my hands shook as I tried unsuccessfully to tie the bow several times. He was throwing me w
ay off. I’d tied so many of these for my dad in my lifetime, I could do it with my eyes shut.

  Finally getting my fingers to cooperate, I finished the task and adjusted the collar around the bow tie. I could feel the heat of him under my fingertips, and I wanted nothing more than to lean over and press my lips against his neck just to see what he tasted like. But I didn’t, and instead forced myself to step back, finally allowing my eyes to connect to his. He stared at me for just a beat too long, and I felt my face start to flush again. This was intimate; too intimate. It reminded me of something a girlfriend would do for her boyfriend, and that wasn’t us. Not yet, anyway. Carter stood, forcing me to back up and turn around. I felt like I could breathe easier instantaneously.

  “What do you think?” He turned back and forth in the mirror. I wondered if guys worried about how they looked in things like women did. Did he have to ask me what I thought? I was practically panting with need.

  “You look good enough to eat,” I heard myself say. Oh, my God. I knew I was pushing him, but that was over the cliff. I seemed to lose my mind around him. And control of my mouth.

  His eyes widened, but he didn’t respond to my obvious come-on. “Well, I guess we’ve found a winner then. Thanks for your help. Now can you take it back off?”

  My breath caught at his innuendo. Oh yes, I’d love to take it off. All of it. Right here in the dressing room. He sat down again, and I reached my hand out to untie it. My fingers shook, and I dropped the bow tie on the floor. He reached over to grab it just as I did, and our fingers brushed again. I had to get out of here before I jumped him.

  “I’ll wait out here for you,” I croaked out, flinging open the door and rushing out. My face felt flushed and my heart was pounding. He’s a man. You’re acting like a nun let out of the convent.

  I paced the store, pretending to look at all of the other things but forcing myself to calm down before I ruined the rest of this night.

  “So tell me something about you I don’t already know.” I sat back, tapping my fingers on the table. I’d somehow survived getting out of the store without making a fool of myself, even while the tailor had been very attentive to make sure everything fit. I’d never wanted to be a tailor so bad in my life. Now we were sitting at my favorite steakhouse, both of us nursing a drink while waiting for our steaks. I knew at least for me I was making sure I capped how much I drank with him tonight, especially since I was already having a hard time keeping my hands to myself.

  He rubbed his chin, looking at me with amusement. The light over our table shone right on the blue of his eyes. It was like looking into the water of the Caribbean Sea. I could imagine us, floating side by side, our hands linked together. “Something you don’t know, huh?”

  “Yeah. Wait! Let’s play a game!”

  He quirked up an eyebrow at me. “What kind of game?”

  “Never Have I Ever,” I said. This could get fun, fast.

  He picked up his beer, sipping it while watching me over the rim of the glass. When he put it down and licked the remnants off his lip, I wanted to play a whole new game.

  “You start,” he answered.

  “Okay. Never have I ever . . . kissed a girl.”

  Carter laughed. “Well, darn. I can’t say that one. Never have I ever . . . lived in Colorado.”

  It was my turn to laugh. “Cheater. Well I can say the same. Never have I ever lived in Florida.”

  “Never have I ever had a cat.”

  I feigned shock. “What? You haven’t lived until you’ve had a cat lay on your face in the middle of the night. Never have I ever had a little sibling.”

  Carter tapped his finger on his lips. “Well I have three of those, so I can’t say that. Never have I ever had an older sibling.”

  “Good one.” I wanted to get more personal, but I was afraid. “Never have I ever worked anywhere but my parents’ company.”

  “Never? Even as a teenager?”

  I shook my head. “I worked in the mail room, then as a receptionist.”

  “Hmm. Interesting. Never have I ever been out of the United States.”

  “Ooh, I have! Okay, never have I ever . . . been in a car accident.”

  A look I couldn’t describe crossed Carter’s face. He picked up his beer and downed half of it, looking away when he put it down. Uh oh. I’d crossed a line somehow. I was just about to tell him we didn’t have to play this dumb game when he looked back at me.

  “I almost died in a car accident,” he said. I felt like an idiot. Not that I had known, but I still effectively changed the mood of our night.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so glad you didn’t.” I wanted to ask a million more questions about it, but I didn’t. I knew better than to push him into saying something he didn’t want to. He’d tell me if and when he wanted to.

  One side of his mouth lifted in a slight smile. “You’re different.”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  He nodded, making butterflies take flight in my stomach. “Yes. I just said something that opened it up for a ton of questions. Instead, you just let it go. You’re not like most girls.”

  “Well, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know,” I admitted. “But I know our situation is a little . . . different. I don’t want to push.”

  “You mean like kissing me in the car?” There went the butterflies. Now a boulder just fell at 100 miles per hour into the pit of my stomach.

  It felt like flames were creeping up my neck and face. “I—-”

  “Julia,” Carter interrupted, placing his hand over mine. “I’m kidding. I enjoyed every second of that. I’ll tell you someday about the accident, but not tonight. I’m having fun. It’s refreshing to hang out with you, that’s all.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So whose turn is it?” Carter grinned.

  “Yours.” I picked up my wine and sipped it, studying his face as he thought.

  “Never have I ever . . . been in love.”

  I inhaled, sending wine shooting down my lungs. My chest burned and I began coughing, my eyes filling with tears as I gasped for air. I saw Carter jump up and move to my side, then felt his hand on my back.

  “Are you okay?” I shook my head yes even though I felt like I was drowning in a sea of wine. My chest constricted painfully and I was afraid it was going to come out in an unladylike way. Fighting around the fluid in my lungs, I inhaled and coughed more.

  After what seemed like hours but was probably under a minute, I looked up at Carter, my chest heaving. Tears poured down my face from the choking/coughing, and I could only imagine what I looked like at the moment.

  “Julia,” Carter said, picking up the napkin on the table. He dabbed it under my eyes, his other hand making circles on my back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I cleared my throat, reaching for my glass of water and taking a sip. “Yes,” I answered. “I think I am now. Wow. That was not fun. Thank you.”

  “I’m not sure I did anything,” he said. “You scared me to death, though.”

  “Sorry,” I coughed again. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

  A wayward tear escaped my eye again, and Carter reached up and wiped it away with his finger. “You’re not an idiot, Julia. Not in the least.” This time it was him that leaned over, so close I could feel his breath on my face. “Do you want to go? Or are you okay to eat?”

  I watched his lips move, knowing if I leaned in just a fraction, we’d be touching again. I wanted that like nothing else in the world. I felt a cough coming back, though, so I turned my head. Carter had to go and say he’d never been in love before. I’d only hoped he would get more personal with me, but hell that was as intimate as you could get. I thought I’d been in love before, with the only steady boyfriend I’d ever had. But that had been high school, and after a year of college we’d broken up. Last I knew, he lived in New York City. I hadn’t been broken up over it; it just was what it was. There’d been no one since then that I’d cared enough to try to love.

&n
bsp; “Here you go.” I heard plates being put on the table. Our food had arrived. Carter rubbed my back one more time and then retreated to his side of the table. I felt the loss immediately.

  We halted the game after that, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said and why he chose to give me that information. I didn’t dare bring it up now. We chatted about work, things in Denver he wanted to see, and the benefit on Saturday.

  It wasn’t until we were walking back to my car, the sun setting behind the mountains, that Carter shocked me again. Thank God I wasn’t drinking anything at the moment. He reached out and grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers together. I didn’t dare look at him for fear he would stop, but I squeezed his fingers lightly and wished for the walk to the car to never end.

  “So beautiful,” Carter said, stopping next to the driver’s side of my car. I looked up at the sun setting over the mountains, knowing he didn’t see this kind of sunset in Florida. But he wasn’t looking at that. His eyes were locked on mine, and the look I saw there made me weak in the knees. Hunger, desire, and lust were spilling from his heated expression.

  He stepped forward and I backed up until my backside hit the car. Looking up at his face, I smiled, wishing my nerves away. He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear that had come out of my braid. His touch made me want to close my eyes, but I couldn’t stop looking at him.

  “I made you choke on your wine,” he said.

  “I’m fine,” I answered.

  “It was what I said, right?”

  “I-I didn’t expect you to be so . . . honest.”

  He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what happens to me when I’m around you, Julia. If I’d been drinking, I probably would’ve choked myself. You make me lose my head. I know that I can’t do this with you, but that doesn’t make me want it any less.”

  Oh, my gosh. He just told me he wanted me. Play it cool, Julia. Tread carefully. I stepped up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck.