Element, Part 1

by Doporto, CM

  He ignored her pleading for a second, gathering his thoughts. He took a deep breath and let out a long and drawn out sigh. “No, ya didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me.” He held on to his head with both hands, pacing back and forth along the sand.

  Natalie stared at him, looking confused. Who could blame her? He gave her all the right signals to only push her away. He had to be honest with her, otherwise how would he know if she was the right gal for him.

  He walked up to her and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I really need to finish my talk with you.”

  “Okay.” Her eyes sank and the glow from her face faded in to a look of worry.

  He led her back down by the water and sat down. She knelt down next to him, keeping some distance between them.

  “Natalie, there’s something I need to tell you.” He grabbed a fist full of sand and sifted it through his hand.

  She placed her hand on his arm. “If it’s—”

  “It’s not what you think. I need to be honest with you.”

  She pulled her hand back. “Oh…okay.”

  He hesitated for a moment and then looked over at her. His mind reviewed the words carefully before he spoke. “When I’m around you, I find it really hard to control myself. Like I said earlier, my feelings for you are beyond controllable.”

  She nodded and barely mumbled, “Uh-huh.”

  He cleared his throat several times. “Every time I’m with you, I want to lose myself with you. But I can’t. I made a promise and I’m sticking to it. I just don’t know if you are willing to accept that and if you’re not then…” the words hung in his throat before he managed to spit them out, “I’ll have to end our relationship.”

  She winced and had a puzzled look on her face. “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t understand.”

  “What I’m trying to say is that… I’m a virgin.” He felt a flash of heat hit his cheeks.

  She let out a small sigh. “That’s what this is all about?”

  He dug the heels of his shoe into the wet sand. He took a deep breath and let it out quickly. “Yes. I’m twenty-one and still a virgin. If you can’t accept that, I understand. I made a promise to not have sex until marriage and I intend on keeping it.”

  She laid her hand on top of his. “That is the most admirable thing I’ve ever heard from a guy. I only wish I could say the same.”

  Ryan felt everything drain from him. His shoulders sank and his head dropped down. He felt his body sinking deeper into the sand. “I understand. It’s not easy to make this type of commitment.” He stared into her eyes. “I wish you could walk down that same path with me, because there is nothing more I want than to spend each and every day with you.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head. “I… I don’t think I made myself clear. I meant that I wish I could say that I was a virgin, but I’m not. I don’t intend on having sex again until I marry. I only did it because I really thought Tony and I would marry. I’ve been beating myself up over making such a dumb mistake.”

  “So you’re okay with me being a virgin and not having sex until marriage?”

  She smiled, wiping the tears that trickled down her face. “Yes. I’m perfectly fine with that. I really value sex like you do.”

  He reached forward and took her in his arms. Her eyes met his and deep inside, he knew Natalie was the gal for him. “Then you’re willing to have a relationship with me and fight off the urge not to give into our sexual needs? No matter how strong they are?”

  “Yes, I am. I have to admit that I’ve never had a problem controlling myself but for some reason I have trouble with you.”

  “Then we will have to work extra hard. It won’t be easy but I’m willing to give it everything if you are.”

  “I am.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. Everything about her felt so right. She leaned her head against his chest and he held her close. He could see himself spending the rest of his life with her. He didn’t want this day to end. They sat there; his arms wrapped around her, watching the sun vanish along the horizon.

  “Are you ready to go? It’s getting dark.” He whispered in her ear.

  “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay out here a little longer. It’s therapeutic for me. If you know what I mean.”

  Ryan kissed her cheek. “I know exactly what you mean. Why don’t we go over there?” He pointed to a pile of wood down the shore.

  She followed his finger. “To that pile of ashes?”

  “Yeah. How about I start us a fire? I think I may have a few pieces of wood in the bed of my truck and a lighter somewhere.”

  “Sure. Too bad you don’t have a blanket and your guitar.”

  “Oh, I think I may have those too.”

  She put her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed. “Did you plan this, Ryan Garrett?”

  For a moment, he thought he did something wrong. Then he saw her lips curl up into a full smile. He winked. “Yes, right down to the fire.”

  Chapter 6: There’s No Denying

  Natalie felt the vibration of her phone against her leg. Her heart skipped a beat, hoping it was Ryan sending her a text. She pulled the phone out of her lab coat and kept it under the table. She looked around for the professor and spotted him helping several other students a few tables in front of hers. She saw that Ryan sent her a message.

  Wish me luck. I’m headed to Kronberg for day one of my internship.

  She texted back:

  Good luck. I know you’ll do a great job and impress them.

  She waited a few minutes and received his next text:

  Hope so. I’ll call you when I get off. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat. I miss seeing your smile and looking into your beautiful blue eyes ;)

  She couldn’t help but smile. He made her feel so giddy inside. She texted:

  I miss you too. I can’t wait to see you.

  “Natalie. Natalie. Which one do you want?” Sean nudged her while waving a piece of paper in front of her face.

  “Huh?” Natalie shoved her phone back into the pocket of her lab coat. She took the paper from his hand.

  “Which project do you want us to work on? We need to make a decision quickly before the good ones are gone.” His arm fidgeted against the lab table and his hand inched upward, ready to rise the moment they decided.

  “Oh, ummm… let me see.” She felt completely lost. She hadn’t heard a word the professor said.

  “I think we should go with—”

  “How about the aptamers one? Sounds interesting.” She pointed to one of the selections.

  He adjusted his thick black frame glasses. “I guess.”

  “You don’t like that one?”

  “Honestly, I thought the one with biofuels because of the global warming sounded more interesting. It says more than one team can choose that one.” He showed her where it said that on the paper.

  Global warming. It caught her attention and she thought about Ryan’s ranch and the problems with produce around the state. “Yes, let’s do that one.”

  “Great.” Sean took the paper from her and raised his hand. He waved it in the air until the professor acknowledged him. Even though Sean seemed a little persistent, she knew choosing him as her lab partner made sense. She met him during the spring semester in a biology class they both took. When it came to schoolwork, he proved to be reliable and dedicated to his studies.

  He nudged her arm. “Are you coming or what?”

  Natalie rubbed her forehead and brushed her hair back away from her face. Why did she feel completely distracted today? “Yeah. Sorry.” She took off her lab coat and shoved it into her backpack along with her textbook.

  “Are you okay? You seem a little out of it.”

  “I’m fine. I guess I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.”

  He held the door open for her. “How many classes are you taking this summer?”

  “Just two and the lab class.” She adjusted her backp
ack on her shoulders.

  “That’s a full load for summer. Plus the internship, right?” He reached over and zipped up her backpack. Apparently, she had forgotten to zip it closed.

  She shook her head. “Thanks. Yeah, I’ll be working on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays in the afternoon. By the way, thank you for putting in a good word for me. I know they typically want juniors.”

  “No problem. Besides, your grades spoke for themselves. You’re going to really like working at Kronberg. It’s cool and Dr. Kronberg takes the time to work with us and answer questions.”

  “That’s so awesome. I can’t wait for tomorrow. What days do you work?”

  Sean held up his hand, shielding his eyes from the sun. It shined brightly but for some reason it didn’t bother her, even though the rays peered right into her eyes. “The same as you. I’ll be there to show you around tomorrow. I need to warn you about Franz. He’s a little, eccentric.”

  “I’ve met him. He interviewed me for the job. Red frizzy hair, brown eyes and freckles all over his face?”

  Sean nodded. “That’s him alright.”

  “He’s kind of freaky and weird.” She shuddered. Thinking about him gave her the hebegeebees.

  He arched his eyebrow and gave her one of those looks. “That’s an understatement. He’s a freakin’ schitzo if you ask me. Most people call him the ‘Mad Scientist’ behind his back. I think he likes it. Don’t worry, he keeps to himself most of the time. Even though he’s supposed to supervise us, he doesn’t.”

  “So, who does?”

  “You’re talking to him. Since I’ve been there for a year, they offered me a part-time job as a lab assistant. I work closely with all the interns, so you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Wow! You didn’t tell me that.” Natalie gave him a friendly slap on his forearm.

  “Owww.” He rubbed his arm. “What do you have in that hand of yours? Lead?”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” She felt bad, wondering if she had actually hurt him. Poor Sean, he was so tall and skinny. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on his body or much muscle either. Why didn’t he take the workout supplements from Kronberg Laboratories? She refrained from asking or suggesting it to him, even though she wanted to.

  “It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt.” He shook his arm, like he was trying to ease the pain. When he noticed Natalie staring at his arm, he quickly ran his fingers through his dark black wavy hair. “I didn’t tell you because I just got the job two weeks ago.”

  “Good for you.” She tried to keep her eyes off the blaring red handprint she left behind on his fair skin.

  “Yeah, thanks. Do you want to go get something to eat? We can get started on our project afterwards, if you like.”

  She checked the time. It was ten minutes after two o’clock and her stomach grumbled with hunger. Since Ryan and Lise were both at their internships she agreed. “Sure, that’s fine. We both have to work tomorrow and the project’s due in a few weeks. Do you want to eat at the union?”

  “Yeah, there’s plenty to select from there.” Sean said.

  They walked down the stairs and crossed the street to the main campus area. The union buzzed with chatter and Natalie had to dodge the steady stream of students passing in and out of the building.

  “I’m thinking we should make this a set time. You know, work on our projects after lab class. What do you think?” Sean pushed his way through the crowd.

  “Sure. I’d like to find a quiet place if we can.” Natalie said, making her way to one of the restaurants.

  “Leave it to me. I’ll find us something.” Sean smiled and gave her a quick wink.

  ***

  Natalie lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. With her finger she traced her lower lip. She recalled the way Ryan had kissed her deeply and passionately that night at the lake. Chills ran up and down her arms. She’d loved the way his body felt against hers and how he’d held on to her. The same way he did when she’d nearly fainted during orientation. She longed to see him tonight but her inner voice reminded her to take things slow.

  Her phone chimed. She opened her eyes and picked it up. Ryan’s text message flashed across her screen:

  Can’t meet up tonight. Kronberg’s having a big shindig next Friday night and we’re busy helping out. Not sure what time I’ll leave.

  She sighed and her heart ached. Regardless of what that inner voice told her, she wouldn’t be able to see him after all.

  She texted him:

  No problem. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow. Did you see Lise?

  He texted back:

  Yeah, we’re working together. She told me to tell you she’ll be at the dorm later tonight. I’ll give you a call when I get to my apartment. Gotta go. Bye beautiful ;)

  Natalie’s heart soared. Beautiful. Beautiful. She held the cell phone to her chest. Ryan always knew the right thing to say, every time. If only she was as gifted with communicating her emotions to him.

  She searched her phone for the right emoticon. She found a smiley face blowing a kiss in the shape of a heart. Perfect. She pushed the send button. Ryan flooded her mind. Everything about him felt so right, so natural. She’d never felt this way about a guy before. Not even with Tony. She winced at the thought of Tony and her kissing. Why did she make such a stupid mistake and have sex with him? Why didn’t she save herself?

  If only she’d gone out with Ryan first, she would still be a virgin. She shook her head in disgust. Despite her mistake, she couldn’t believe that Ryan wanted to go out with her. It was unbelievable that he valued sex the way she did. Never in a million years did she peg him to be that type of guy; saving himself until marriage. That was practically unheard of when it came to a guy. Only girls did that sort of thing.

  Giggles and smiles poured out. She was actually going out with Ryan Garrett! What would her old high school friends think? They wouldn’t believe her. One thing for certain, he was with her because he truly liked her and not because he wanted to get in her pants. She refused to mess things up with him regardless of how uncontrollable her desires were. She’d respect his promise.

  Her phone rang and she quickly picked it up. Her Aunt Sharon’s picture showed up on the screen instead of Ryan’s.

  “Hi, Aunt Sharon.” Natalie sat up in her bed.

  “Hey darling. How’s school going? Have you started your internship yet?” Sharon sounded a little winded.

  “I started summer classes today and tomorrow will be my first day at Kronberg. Are you okay? It sounds like you’ve been running.”

  She sighed heavily. “Yeah, I’m scurrying around the condo, trying to pack. I’m headed to Europe and wanted to remind you to stop by this week if you can.”

  “Sure. No problem. I’ll stop by Wednesday.”

  “Oh that will be great. Like I said, if you want to spend the night here you are more than welcome. I won’t be back until the end of July so I need for you to check on the place each week.”

  “Okay, no problem.”

  “Well, gotta go. I’m staying at Chad’s tonight so he can take me to the airport in the morning. Tell your mom I said hi. Luv ya.”

  “I will. Be careful and have a good time. Bye.” Natalie hung up the phone. She got up and went over to her dresser and changed her clothes. Since Ryan had to work late, she decided to workout and grab a bite to eat afterwards. Besides, the workout would help her get a good night’s sleep and be ready for her first day at Kronberg.

  ***

  Natalie headed up I-35 to Round Rock, a small suburb outside of Austin, to Kronberg Laboratories. She glanced at the thermostat in her car; one-hundred and three degrees. Summer had arrived. She fidgeted in her chair, peeling her skirt off her legs. Between the Texas heat and the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she felt like she’d just finished a boot camp class. She reached over and turned up the air conditioner. She couldn’t go in looking all sweaty, especially on her first day.

  She parked in the garage and then wa
lked into the ten-story, silver and black building. A part of her couldn’t believe she’d actually gotten an internship in the laboratory. They only hired a few interns every semester for the lab operations. Even though they had over thirty interns this summer, all of them, including Ryan, Lise, and Sal, worked on the business operations side of the company. All the hard work and determination would hopefully allow her to reach her dream one day as head research scientist. Kronberg made that dream seem so much closer.

  “May I help you?” A lady wearing a gray uniform sat at the front desk. Several armed security guards stood nearby.

  “Yes, I’m Natalie Vega and I’m interning in the lab.”

  The lady gave her a flat smile. “Welcome to Kronberg Laboratories.” She turned to her computer and typed in some information. “Yes, here you are. You’re working in the main lab area, reporting to Franz Rousseau. Let me get your badge.”

  Natalie waited while the lady searched through a stack of ID badges. “Here is your badge. You will need to wear it at all times.”

  “Yes ma’am.” Natalie took the badge. She studied the photo on the front of it. It was only two weeks ago that she took the picture but she sure did look different with her straight hair and eye glasses. She clipped the badge to her shirt.

  “Please have a seat over there.” The lady pointed to an area filled with several young people who appeared to be interns too. “Someone will come and get you.”

  “Okay. Thank you.” Natalie walked across the gray slate floor to a sitting area of sleek leather chairs and sofas. The modern décor and color pallet of white, gray, and silver gave the building a futuristic feeling. She recognized many of the faces from orientation, even though she didn’t know them personally. Before she sat down, she heard someone call her name.

  “Natalie. Ready to go?” Sean waved and smiled, walking in her direction. He wore a long white lab coat that made him look pencil thin.

  “Hi, Sean. Am I the only one?” She glanced back at the group of students behind her.

  “Yes. The other two interns started yesterday.”