Starshine

by Melody Winter

  “Candles,” I whispered. “I have candles.” I rushed back into the kitchen and pulled a drawer open, lighting the interior with the torch beam. An old lighter nestled at the very back of it.

  I flashed the torch around the room, locating several candles I had positioned for aesthetic reasons only. Tonight, they would be used in the way they had been intended for.

  I lit five of the candles, before taking two of them to the low coffee table in front of the sofa. When I returned to the kitchen, I swapped the torch for the glasses of wine.

  “I’m impressed,” Alex said as he took his glass of wine from me. “I’ve never known a woman go to so much trouble to seduce me. I can tell you that it’s very convincing, and it’s working very well. What’s next, Ella?”

  “Shut up,” I warned, playfully hitting his arm before I also took a drink of my wine. I curled my legs underneath me, and snuggled into the corner of my end of the sofa. Alex sunk back into the opposite corner of the sofa, closing his eyes. I took the opportunity to have a proper look at him. Usually, when we looked at each other our eyes were either locked in a battle of staring, or we were silently challenging each other to say something. This was different. The flickering light from the nearby candles cast surreal shadows across his face, but it was still easy to see his pronounced sharp jaw line. His chin was starting to show some stubble even though Erin had shaved the growth away earlier this morning.

  The years I had spent watching his movies, following his movements and interviews on YouTube and twitter suddenly seemed like a life-time ago. He was here, in my home, on my sofa. Not only was he here, but he also seemed to genuinely like me. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he had kissed me the other day. I lifted my fingers to my mouth, repeating an action I had done many times since then.

  “Ella?” Alex’s soft voice broke my concentration. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

  “Sorry.” I swallowed quickly, desperately trying to think of something to say. Alex leaned toward me, the menus falling from his knee.

  “You’re just mesmerised by my outstanding good looks. I can tell,” he said, grabbing the menus from the floor. “Right, let me pick what we’re going to eat. Have you any preference?”

  I had never been more grateful to a handful of take-away menus in my life. It had given him something to concentrate on, and rescued me from an awkward situation.

  “You order what you want. I’m not all that hungry,” I told him, unable to imagine what it would be like to actually sit and eat with him. The whole evening had turned into something I hadn’t expected.

  “I need the bathroom,” I said, feeling the need to put some space between us, even if it was just for a few minutes. He gave me a small smile, before turning back to the menus.

  “I fancy pizza,” he decided out loud.

  I picked one of the candles from the table and headed toward the bathroom. “Did you want a shower tonight? Because you’ll not be able to now,” I said. “Well, not unless you fancy a cold . . .” I suddenly realised what I was about to say.

  “A cold shower.” Alex’s shoulders shook as he began to laugh. “I must say, your seduction technique keeps surprising me. It’s quite unique. Have you had much success with it over the years?”

  I was incredibly grateful for the subdued light that the candles offered. I could feel my face burning bright red. “You . . . you know what I mean.”

  “I do.”

  “And I’m not trying to seduce you,” I told him, trying to gain the upper hand. “You are here to talk about Amy. Explain what happened so you can at long last try to get the anger you feel about it all out of your system.”

  A scowl covered his face, and I instantly regretted my words. “Sorry,” I offered, as if that one word would make everything alright. I wanted to hit myself repeatedly for what I’d just said.

  “No, it’s okay. I guess I forgot why I’m here.” His spoke quietly and looked back at the menu in his hand.

  I shut the bathroom door, did my business, and washed my hands. The mirror above the sink unfortunately offered a less than pretty reflection. Being on set under the hot lights had obviously taken its toll on my dull complexion. I splashed water on my face before heading back into the room.

  “I’ve changed my mind,” Alex said.

  “What?” I was worried he was about to leave.

  “I’ve changed my mind about eating. I’m not all that hungry, and I think that getting drunk with you will be far more enjoyable than eating by myself.”

  I sighed with relief that he wasn’t going to leave, and then internally questioned why that thought had suddenly panicked me the way it had.

  “Sit down, Ella. You wanted to know exactly what happened with Amy. I’ll tell you. Rowan didn’t tell you the whole story, because there are only three people that know the truth; Amy, Simon and me. You will be the fourth.”

  I sat down, not taking my eyes off him.

  He rubbed his forehead. “I hope you’ve got more wine in the kitchen. This is going to be a long night.”

  I picked up my glass, and sipped slowly at the cold liquid. Alex’s carefree and jovial mood had disappeared. He was frowning, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

  “Hey,” I said, trying to reassure him. “Whatever you say will go no further. And I think I’ve already got a rough idea about what happened. Don’t look so stressed.” I wanted to reach out to him and hug him, but something stopped me.

  He shrugged. “You have no idea how difficult this is. To tell you what actually happened.”

  “Rowan’s already blabbed the main story.”

  He shook his head. “No, he hasn’t. There’s a lot more to it than what Rowan told you. I’m just trying to work out where to start with the madness of it all. It’s not something I want to spend time thinking about.”

  “I think you need to.” I could sense how uneasy he was about telling me everything. I couldn’t decide whether it was because he still wasn’t sure if he could trust me, or because he was still hurting about what had happened.

  “Let me top these glasses up first,” he said.

  His tall, lanky frame strolled over to the kitchen. He opened the fridge before returning with the bottle of wine. He topped my glass up before tipping his own glass back against his lips and drinking what was left. After refilling his glass, he placed the empty bottle on the table with the flickering candles and sat next to me. Leaning forward, he stared at the floor.

  “I’ll start with a bit of my history. I think that’s the best place to begin. You should know what sort of man I really am, not rely on what the tabloids print.” He sighed before taking a deep exaggerated breath. “I’d only had two girlfriends when I was thrown into the world of Starshine. I’d acted a bit in a few films before, but that was my first major one.”

  I nodded, knowing about his acting accreditation’s. It was all well documented. I hadn’t known about his girlfriends though, and was a little bit surprised by his admittance. It wasn’t because I thought he’d slept with lots of women, I’d just presumed that anyone who had been involved with him would have been hunted down by the media and offered huge amounts of cash to kiss-and-tell. There were many stories about him, but I didn’t believe them—there was never any evidence. He had just confirmed my thoughts.

  Alex was hot news. Anything he did was photographed by the paparazzi, and anyone he was seen with was hounded by them. I swallowed hard, suddenly understanding why he had acted so shifty when he got out of the car earlier.

  There was no shortage of women coming forward these days, selling their stories about their one night of passion with the super, sexy Alex Denton. It hadn’t been all that long ago that they had published a story every week about the different women he’d supposedly slept with.

  “My two girlfriends were old school friends, girls I’d known all my life. Still do. Barbara was the first girl I slept with. We were both sixteen. She was nice. She’s married now, got three kids
, and living in Australia. She texts me every so often, tells me what a brat I’m being.” He lifted his head and looked at me briefly, smiling. “She always did put me in my place.”

  “I think you must have always needed reminding,” I replied.

  He nodded and then continued. “Claire was my second girlfriend. She was a stunning girl. Lots of blonde hair, and she had a sweet nature. But I had to move to America for filming. It sort of all fell apart. I was gone too long. The spark wasn’t there when I returned. It’s funny really. She’s in America now and I’m back here.

  “Then Starshine happened. It introduced me to Amy. We were both quite young, although the world we live in forces people to grow up quickly. I suppose it was almost inevitable that Amy, just turned eighteen, and myself, an impressionable twenty-one-year-old, would fall for each other whilst acting the deep emotional scenes that the first film demanded from us. I fell hard. I thought she was amazing. She was strong, determined, a bit stubborn, but she had a kind side as well.”

  I couldn’t help myself as I snorted. I didn’t understand how Alex could ever have thought that.

  We made eye contact momentarily and then he looked back at the floor.

  “Things happened quickly,” he said. “We moved in together, and . . . well, you probably know the rest. Our story was a dream for the Starshine publicity machine. It couldn’t have been planned any better. We were hot news, particularly at the premier of the first film.”

  He leaned forward even more, his hand resting on the back of his neck as he rocked on the sofa. His voice quietened. “I never suspected a thing. There were no obvious clues that anything was wrong.” He stopped talking, obviously struggling with the memory.

  This time I didn’t hesitate, and I moved forward, reaching out to him as I placed my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me, hurt and desperation written all over his face.

  “That’s when she told me she was pregnant.”

  “Pregnant!” My voice shook. “She was pregnant?”

  He turned away from my scrutiny.

  “I remember how I felt. It was unbelievable. I was scared, but at the same time, extremely excited. I was going to be a dad. It had been a mistake, but I was overjoyed with the news.”

  “Mistake?” I queried.

  He nodded. “We’d been using protection, but . . . well, something let us down.”

  “Shit,” I breathed. Amy had never appeared to be pregnant in real life. Something must have happened to the baby. My thumb rubbed his shoulder, trying to offer him some comfort.

  “It was an incredible week for me. I was on a high, constantly smiling about the news, desperately wanting to tell everyone. But Amy wasn’t happy about it. In fact, from the moment she told me she was pregnant, was when everything went wrong.”

  He picked his glass of wine up, and took a long slurp of it before placing it back down on the table. Turning to face me, he lifted his hand to rest over mine.

  “A week later, I returned home from a meeting and was greeted by packed suitcases piled up in the hall.”

  “She threw you out?” I gasped.

  “No, hardly. It was my house. They were her cases, her belongings. And she was with a man I had never seen before.”

  “Simon,” I said, second guessing the situation he would have been confronted with.

  He sucked in his bottom lip. “Yep. Simon.”

  My spare hand rose to cover my mouth. Not only had she left him for someone else, she had also been pregnant with his . . .

  “Oh my God,” I gasped. “The baby was Simons?”

  He shrugged. “I have no idea. You see, when I returned home that day, she told me that she was leaving, she was moving in with Simon. She said that she had never loved me, and had been seeing Simon for months. I was shocked, stunned even, that she would do that. I told her that I didn’t care about her unfaithfulness. I still loved her. As far as I was concerned she was pregnant with my child. I wanted her and the baby.

  “She told me that she had no idea whether the baby was mine or Simons. I begged, Ella, I begged her to stay. It didn’t matter that the baby could have been his. I told her that I’d still treat it as mine.” He paused, and I let him gather his thoughts. “She laughed. Told me how pathetic I was to consider taking on another man’s child.”

  “Alex, I’m so sorry.”

  “How could she? I mean, I loved her so much.”

  “I have no idea how she could be so cruel.”

  His eyes were glistening with tears, and I couldn’t stand it any longer.

  “Come here,” I said as I pulled him toward me. He leaned against me and rested his head on my shoulder.

  “I shut myself away from everyone after she left. It was four weeks until the filming of Sunspark started. I tried to contact her every day, but she never answered her phone, and never returned my calls.” His arm curled around my waist as I lifted my hand to the back of his head. My fingers found the softness of the hairs at the nape of his neck and before I was aware of what I was doing I found myself rubbing my fingers through his hair. He snuggled against my shoulder even more.

  “On the first day of filming, I headed straight to her dressing room. I was desperate to see her, to check that she was okay, and to find out how the baby was doing. She looked me straight in the eye and told me that she’d got rid of the baby. Because the baby could have been mine, she terminated the pregnancy.”

  I shook my head in disbelief at what he was telling me. “I have no understanding of how she could behave like that, or do such an awful thing.” My hand twisted even more through his hair whilst my other tightened around his waist. “Did Simon approve of her actions? Didn’t he try to stop her? I mean it could have been his child she was pregnant with.”

  “I’ve no idea. I’ve never spoken to him. He obviously loves her, and I think that she loves him. Maybe with them, it’s how it used to be between me and her at the beginning. He must know what he’s dealing with. Good luck to him.”

  “Well let’s hope she doesn’t do the same to him.”

  “To be honest, I don’t care if she does. Let him see how it feels to be on the receiving end of it all.”

  “That’s a bit harsh,” I added. Alex knew what he had been through. He surely couldn’t wish it on anyone else. Not even Simon.

  “Maybe, but I’m being honest. I don’t care about either of them after what they did.”

  We sat holding each other for several silent minutes. I was reeling from shock at what he had told me, and Alex seemed to be taking his time to compose himself. It must have taken a lot of courage for him to re-live the events that he had just described. It was as if I was at last beginning to understand who the real Alex Denton was.

  “This is nice,” he said. “I like being here with you, Ella.”

  I replied honestly, not allowing myself time to think of an appropriate response. “I like it as well.”

  He tipped his face to look at me. “So, what do we do about it? Where do we go from here?” he asked.

  My emotions were all over the place. I was giddy, disorientated, my heart was pounding, my skin hot. It would have been so easy for me to take his hand, and lead him to my bedroom with no words spoken between us. We could have forgotten about everything and just enjoyed the comfort of each other’s body.

  But I couldn’t let that happen. Not tonight. I couldn’t take advantage of his vulnerable state. Instead, I decided to give him one thing he’d requested earlier in the week.

  “If you still want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, then I will,” I said.

  A huge smile spread across his face.

  “Thank you,” he whispered, before placing his head back against my shoulder.

  “God knows, I think we may both regret it, because things will get so complicated,” I said, still not one-hundred percent convinced of the idea.

  “They won’t, not if we don’t pretend.”

  “What do you mean?” He’d been so full of it all week, winding
Amy up and making her think there was something going on between us. And I’d been just as bad as him. Particularly when I’d threatened her and told her to back off because he was mine. I’d mislead her into thinking that we’d slept together. And then there was that damn kiss that Alex and I had shared.

  “Well . . .” He lifted his head off my shoulder and ensured I was looking at him. “What if I asked you to not pretend? What if I told you that I like you . . . a lot, and I’d like to spend time with you.”

  “With me?” Even though I’d had moments of thinking he liked me, to hear him say it was quite different.

  He looked to my lips and then back to my eyes. “Why not? I think you like me. Or have I completely misread you?”

  I shook my head, trying to calm my screaming body from jumping on him that very moment—vulnerable or not. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

  “I sure am, Ella.”

  “You, Alex Denton, are asking me out? Seriously?” My stomach was doing somersaults, back-flips and cartwheels. The fangirl within was already laid out on the floor, hyperventilating.

  “Why does this seem to surprise you so much?”

  “Because, I’m nothing like the women you normally go out with. I’m just plain old Ella.”

  “There is nothing plain about you. Believe me.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I think you’re incredibly attractive. You also have a kind heart, and I think you already understand me.”

  “But I only met you what, five days ago?”

  “Exactly. That shows how special you are. I don’t usually jump in to relationships with everyone I’ve just met. Now, do you agree?” His smile was becoming infectious.

  “To what? I uttered, my brain scrambling to remember what he had originally asked me.

  “To going out with me.”

  I nodded, unable to response verbally.

  “Good.”

  Was he honestly expecting me to say no?

  “Now I already asked you this at the beginning of the week, but I want no pretending this time.” He licked his lips, and I knew immediately what he was going to say.