by J Peach
She typed what I said into the computer and then went to the drawer and grabbed a plastic container. After writing on it, she handed it to me. “I’ll need a urine sample. Once you’re finished, put it in the silver door and the doctor will be with you shortly.” With that said, she walked out of the room.
“You need help peeing in the cup?” Parker grabbed the container from me.
My brows furrowed. “How are you going to help me exactly?” Rolling my eyes at him, I pushed him down.
“Well, I gotda piss, I might as well go with you.” He suggested, making me laugh.
I swear he made everything better for me. There I was stressing about maybe being pregnant and Parker was making me laugh. “Dude, for real, stop! You’re not coming to the bathroom with me. Why are you so damn horny all of a sudden?” I asked him, still laughing at his stupid ass.
“All of a sudden? This shit ain’t suddenly happen. All this yo fault, yo ass wanted to be stingy this morning because of this gotdamn appointment. Shid, fuckin’ wasn’t gon’ change shit about them results.” His face twisted into a glare.
He was so damn ignorant, I started laughing at him. “Parker, shut up. I swear. Ugh!” I turned away from him and left the room, going into the bathroom. Once I finished, I put the cup in the door and then washed my hands before leaving and going back into the room.
“I’ll hit you up once I finish with what I’m doing,” Parker said into the phone. “Yeah. Man, shut the fuck up. Syn, Chris said what’s up.”
I leaned into him. “Hey, Chris. And don’t talk shit behind my back.” I took Parker’s phone and hung up on him. After Meka and I threw Chris’ girl out, she must have gone off on him because he had been talking to Parker about me. Hell, he was talking shit to me whenever he saw my ass. Xantina must have really chewed his ass out.
“Now why you do that? He gon’ get yo ass when he sees you, so be ready,” Parker laughed just as the room door came open.
The doctor walked in. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay, a little nervous, but I’m feeling fine.” I bit into my lip nervously. I wasn’t ready for the results of the test. I just wanted to leave and forget all about this. “Am I pregnant?” I blurted out. I couldn’t take the prolonging anymore, I just wanted it to be over with.
The doctor let out a small chuckle. “I see you’re eager to find out.” She looked at the file. “Yes, you are pregnant. I would say you’re about eighteen weeks given you’re last menstrual cycle. I’m going to give you a sonogram to be certain.” She went to the corner of the room and grabbed a machine that had a monitor on it. She pulled it over to me. “Lay back for me.” She put on a pair of gloves and turned on the machine. Lifting my shirt up, she grabbed a tube and squeezed some gel on my stomach.
“What you doing?” Parker asked her.
“I’m about to give her an ultrasound to see how baby is doing,” she informed him while grabbing a wand like object and pressing it to my stomach. She moved the wand around on my belly and stopped. “From the size and length of the fetus you are about eighteen weeks pregnant.” The doctor clicked a few buttons on the machine and a whooshing sound filled the room.
The sound scared the hell out of me because I didn’t know what it was. “What’s that? Is everything okay with the baby?”
“Everything is fine. That’s the baby’s heart beat.” She smiled at me.
“Can you tell what it is?” Parker asked her.
The doctor nodded her head. “If the baby cooperates with me then I can see for you.” She continued to move the wand on my stomach. “Okay, here’s the head,” she pointed to the screen, “There’s the legs, ah…” she mumbled, moving the wand in the area of the baby legs. She looked at us. “Baby don’t want us to know what it is just yet. If it would just move its leg over a little I could tell, but from this angle, I can’t. Sorry.
“When can we come back so you can try again to see what it is?” Parker continued to question her.
I stared at him, but he was too focused on the screen. I could tell from the way his eyes roamed over the monitor that he was excited about this pregnancy. He actually wanted this kid. My hand grabbed his and I entwined our fingers.
“I see you’re excited. Is this your first?” She looked from me to Parker.
“Yeah, this is. Can’t you shake her stomach or something to make it move? So we can try and tell what it is?” Parker was really trying to find out what we were having. “Aye, how the fuck can I get one of these things?” He pointed to the machine.
“Parker.” I popped him in the stomach while I looked at him like he was crazy. He was rude as hell sometimes.
The doctor waved me off. “He’s fine.” She told me before looking at him. “You can easily buy a machine online.” The doctor then pointed to my stomach. “You can try to shake her stomach if you want,” she laughed at him.
Parker’s hands went to my stomach and he started to shake it. “What are you?” He talked to my belly.
My eyes cut at him and I popped his hands. “Stop.” I pushed his hands off of me. I had become irritated by his excitement. I wasn’t excited or mad, I just felt neutral about everything. Hell, I didn’t even want a baby to be honest. I couldn’t take care of a kid, I didn’t know how. I didn’t even know the first thing about parenting.
The doctor once again laughed. “I’ll write you a prescription to get you started on prenatal vitamins and we’ll schedule her another appointment. Would you like a copy of the ultrasound?” She was no longer looking at me, but talking to Parker. I rolled my eyes at her.
I don’t know why his ass isn’t lying on top of this table.
“Yeah, give it to me.” Parker looked down at me and smiled.
Grabbing some paper towels, the doctor wiped my stomach off. “Let me go print these out and I’ll be right back,” she said as she left the room.
“What are you thinking?” Parker asked me once we were alone.
“I don’t know.” My head shook. This is really happening. I wasn’t ready for that type of responsibility just yet. I was still trying to figure myself out.
“What does that mean?” Parker questioned.
“It means I don’t know. Okay? Can we not talk about it here?” I snapped at him. I didn’t mean to, but I was trying to think and I didn’t need him hounding me with questions, which I knew he was about to start doing.
“Yo, you better lower yo fuckin’ voice before I choke the fuck outda you. Don’t start that stupid shit, for real,” he bit back, glaring at me.
I chose not to reply back because it was only going to start a fight, one I did not want to have in the doctor’s office. So I ignored him for the remainder of our visit.
Chapter 18
Angel
Once we left our appointment, we went to Applebee’s to eat. I still hadn’t said too much to Parker about the pregnancy because I didn’t know how to feel really. Even so, I couldn’t avoid the situation since it wasn’t going to change anything.
I pushed my plate from in front of me and let out a sigh. I looked at Parker only to find him already staring at me. “What?”
“Shid, I’m waiting for you to tell me what’s up. How the fuck you go from laughing to this depressed ass state in the matter of minutes? I don’t understand that shit,” his face showed everything he just expressed.
I didn’t understand it either. “I don’t know, Parker, maybe it’s the mood swings—”
“Well, yo ass need to lose those mothafuckas quick as hell. I ain’t got time for no gotdamn bipolar ass mood swings, yo, for real,” he fussed, cutting me off.
My eyes cut hard at him. “You ain’t gotda be a fuckin’ dick about the situation—”
“It ain’t no fuckin’ situation, so stop callin’ it that. Syn, you need to chill out with all that emotional ass shit, man. You’re pregnant, it ain’t just you no more,” he continued to go off on me.
I rolled my eyes at him and then grabbed my cup, taking a drink. I went back to ea
ting my food and ignoring him once again. I was trying hard not to lose my cool in that place, so it was best I calmed myself down before I flipped the fuck out on him.
“So now you ain’t got shit to say?” He asked. Looking at him, I rolled my eyes again. He let out a laugh and shook his head. “You a childish ass mothafucka.”
“Says the stupid mothafucka who won’t let me finish a sentence. So you can really shut the fuck up talking to me right now before I slap the fuck outda yo ass,” I snapped at him.
“Who the fuck—”
I cut him off. “I’m talkin’ to yo black ass! And what? You gon’ do something, Parker? Huh?” I reached across the table and muffed the shit out of him.
He slapped my hand away from him. “Don’t be a bitch because yo dumbass scared.”
I went to slap the fuck outda him, but he caught my hand then pushed me back into my seat.
“Angel, sit the fuck down and calm yo gotdamn self. Yo ass ain’t scaring no gotdamn body. And talk to me like the grown ass woman you supposed to be. I ain’t no fuckin’ psychic, I don’t know what the fuck you thinking or feeling. So open up that big ass mouth of yours and tell me what’s up.” His tone was calmer as he talked to me. “Don’t go rollin’ yo fuckin’ eyes. I don’t know what the fuck that mean either.”
“Parker, shut up talking to me.” I grabbed my cup and started eating the ice annoyingly.
His head tilted and his brows rose before he started laughing at me. “You really pissed off, huh? Yo ass killing that ice ain’t you?”
My eyes rolled hard and I bit the inside of my lip to keep my composure. But the stupid smile tugged at my lips. “Shut up.” I swear he got on my damn nerves, but I had to admit, my damn mood swings were being bipolar as hell.
“I’ight, I’mma let you talk. For real, what’s up? Talk to me,” he asked, serious now.
I let out a heavy sigh. I stared at him for a few minutes before I decided to be honest with him on my thoughts. “I don’t think we’re ready for this type of responsibility, honestly. Parker, I’m still trying to figure myself out and you have yo shit going on. I don’t know how to be somebody’s momma, I never in my life even thought about being a parent, ever. So for this to suddenly happen, we don’t know what kind of parents we’re going to be. A part of me feels like I don’t want a baby because of those reasons.” When I said that, his mouth opened to cut me off.
“No, let me finish,” I told him and then continued. “Regardless of that tho, I don’t want an abortion. I mean, it’s too late anyways.” A sigh left my mouth at that truthful realization. “But I wouldn’t do it. Parker, you have to understand I didn’t have the best mother growing up and thoughts of becoming anything like her—” I stopped talking and shook my head.
“I don’t know. It’s just stressful having all these thoughts when in the end I don’t know how none of this is going to turn out,” I stressed. I knew I wouldn’t become anything like Kelley, but I didn’t know how good of a mom I would be.
I’d never really been around kids before and Lil B didn’t count. Hell, I barely got to see him since they no longer lived in Gary and when they did come to visit, he spent most of his time with Bianca.
“You look at me every fuckin’ day, yo. You see my scars, every single one of those bitches, everyday, Syn. Growing up wasn’t easy for me either, but that don’t mean I’mma do my kid like that or let my baby grow up without me being around. I damn sho’ ain’t gon’ let nobody mistreat my shorty either,” his head shook.
“N’all, the timing ain’t right, but shid, we got five months to get shit together. You just need to find a way to get those negative thoughts out yo head,” he told me. “That’s some inner shit you gotda deal with. Accept whatever that bullshit is and let it go so we can move the fuck on. Because we ain’t gon’ keep coming back to this point every other day. Yah hear me?”
My head nodded. “Yeah, and I will.”
I didn’t know what else to say other than that because he was right, neither of us had a perfect childhood. Regardless of what he said, my childhood would never fully leave me. It always found a way to haunt me no matter how hard I tried to forget it.
Parker stared at me for a second, then he shook his head. I could tell from the tightening of his jaw that he was frustrated with me. I wanted more than anything to tell him the whole truth about my childhood, but I didn’t know how to. I honestly wanted to forget everything Kelley had done and put me through.
“Parker, don’t be mad at me. It’s not that easy and it’s not going to happen overnight either.” A heavy sigh left my mouth and I stared at him for the longest time. My eyes stared into his. I wanted him to know my story, but without me telling it. I wished he could just look at me and instantly know it. How could I word it without making it seem so horrible? “Parker, my momma—” My words got caught in my throat before I could tell him the truth about Kelley.
“Yo momma what?” He asked me.
My mouth opened and then closed, “My momma—” I didn’t know how to continue with the truth. A sigh left my mouth and I shook my head. “Nothing.” I looked away from him to the table.
“I’ll be back,” he got up and headed toward the bathrooms.
Sighing, I pulled out the photos from the ultrasound. I stared at the little bean that was my baby, my fingers ran over the image. I looked at it trying to find some type of answers but found none. The only thoughts that ran through my head was that I was really about to have a baby. The irony of that.
Folding up the picture, I put it back in my pocket as I got up to go to the restroom. Before I could move from the table an all too familiar face stepped in front of me.
“Angel, I thought that was you,” Martell grabbed me and swooped me up into a hug.
“What the hell? Dude, put me the fuck down.” I wiggled myself out of his arms. After the shit Parker told me that he and Mook tried to pull, he had his fuckin’ nerve. I pushed him back and away from me as I stared at him like he was crazy.
“Damn, it’s like that? A nigga can’t get a hug? What happened to the Angel that was happy to see me a month ago?” He laughed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I just got excited when I saw you,” he smiled, giving me the once over. “I missed yo ass. I told you when I came home I wanted to make things right between us.” He gave me that usual flirty smile that would have worked on me when I was younger.
“And I told you that wasn’t going to happen. Martell, we could never be together again. Plus, I’m seeing someone already.” My head jerked back as he tried to touch my chin.
“Damn, why you being so cold to me?” He asked me that question with that cocky, arrogant smile of his. “Man, I don’t care about who you seeing. I saw yo punk ass dude, he ain’t fuckin’ with me. You already know that,” he stated cockily and with a smirk.
“Punk?” I looked him up and laughed. “He’s far better than the punk ass nigga in front of me,” I made sure my annoyance was heard in my voice. “And you’re right, he ain’t nowhere near on your level. He’s so much higher than cowardly fuck boy status.”
“Coward? Me? Never have I ever been a coward, sweetheart. You used to fuck me, so you know that.” He smiled at me. “Angel, I don’t wanna fight with you, baby. I meant what I said, I want us to work this shit out, man. Besides, you can do so much better than that nigga.” His fingers brushed my hair out of my face.
I slapped his hand away from me. Martell saying I could do better than Parker had me laughing once again. “No, I actually can’t. There isn’t anything better than him. You see, I tried, but the dogs I used to fuck with can’t touch him.” I looked him up and down before I rolled my eyes at him. I caught the eyes of a few prying customers and decided to get myself together and not put on a bigger show. “Martell, please stay away from me. I’ll drop your money off to you and that’s the end of any conversation we’ll have,” I started to walk past him, but he stopped me.
His arms went around my waist and he pulled me to him. “Don’t act
like that. Why you frontin’ now when you was just happy to see me. Now that I’m out, don’t play like you ain’t miss me.” His hand slid down to my ass at the same time he tried to kiss me. “You wanna meet up tonight?”
My head jerked back and I slapped the shit outda him. “You done lost yo fuckin’ mind,” I spat out as harshly as I could.
“Bitch!” Martell grabbed my arms and pinned them behind my back. “Angel, stopped that. Sweetheart, you know you’re my favorite girl and that you’ll always be mine. You already know that. So stop this bullshit.” With his free hand he began to palm my ass.
I thrashed around in his hold. “Let me the fuck go, Martell! Can somebody get him off of me?” I asked the folks that looked on as if they were watching a damn TV show, but nobody did a thing. My mouth opened and I bit hard into his chest.
“Aye, shit!” His hands went to my throat and he slammed me on top of the table.
“Get the fuck off of me!” I yelled, thrashing wildly.
“Angel, stop man, damn! I’m not gon’ hurt yo ass.” He pulled me off the table and held me tight to him with my arms pinned to my side. “Let me just say this, sweetheart, if I can’t have you nobody can. Especially not that pussy ass mothafucka, Parker.” He grabbed my ass again and then tried to kiss me.
My head jerked back. “Martell, let me go!” I yelled at him.
“Okay, relax, Angel. But know, I’ll kill you before I let him have you—” Martell words faded as we both fell onto the table.
Parker came from out of nowhere and hit Martell with a hard two piece from behind, knocking him down. “My nigga, is you stupid?” Parker spat out as he dazed Martell.
Parker jerked him off of me and his fists slammed repeatedly into Martell’s face, causing blood to spill from his mouth. Martell couldn’t even put up a fight from the very first blows Parker hit him with. Instead, his body went limp and he began to slide down the table. Seeing that, Parker moved back and then booted him in the face, helping him to the floor faster.
