The Game That Breaks Us

by Micalea Smeltzer

  I turn around and bend over, searching through one of my drawers, purposely wiggling my ass in the process. I hear Bennett hiss, and I smile with satisfaction. I grab a pair of jeans and put them on with my back turned to him. I glance over my shoulder and give him a coy smile.

  I leave my tank top on and grab a loose, over-the-shoulder, purple sweater from my closet and tug it on. My hairbrush sits on my dresser and I grab it, swiping it through my hair before pulling it up into a messy bun.

  “I’m ready. Where’s your shirt?” I grin at him as he stares at me dumbfounded from the bed.

  “Th-The floor.”

  I search the floor and find his white button-down, tossing it at him. “A little dressy for breakfast, don’t you think?” I laugh.

  He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “Better swing by my dorm and change.” He glances at Elle as he stands and puts his shirt on. “Do you want to come get something to eat with us?”

  She shakes her head and crosses her leg, her gaze focused on her phone. “Thanks, but I’m meeting some friends.”

  “What friends?” I ask, confused.

  “Celine and Makenna. They live across the hall from us.” She points like I don’t know what across the hall means.

  “Oh, right.” I shake my head.

  “You’d like them,” she tells me. “If you didn’t spend all your time studying and with lover boy.” She nods her head at Bennett.

  He chuckles. “I’m sorry for keeping her from you.”

  “You better be sorry,” she chortles. To me she says, “We’re in need of a girls’ night. What do you think?”

  “Sure.” I grab my purse off my desk and sling it across my shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

  Bennett follows me out into the hall. I see a group of three girls standing by the elevator and I quickly veer in the other direction to the stairs. Bennett chuckles behind me.

  “What are you so scared of?” He laughs behind me as I start down the stairs.

  I halt and whip around. “You’re wearing the same clothes from last night. You know what people would think.”

  He grips the banister and leans down to where I stand three steps below him. “So what? The entire campus already knows we’re dating, so I’m pretty sure they assume we’re having sex as well.” My cheeks flame and his mouth parts in surprise. “Are you a virgin?” I look away and start down the steps then, embarrassment clinging to me like a second skin.

  It’s not like I chose to be a virgin. There was just never a guy I liked enough and my dad and brothers made it even more difficult on top of that.

  We reach the last stairs and I sprint forward to push open the door but Bennett’s faster. He comes up behind me and holds the door closed with his body pressed against the back of mine. My breath falters and I freeze.

  “We’re not done talking Grace.”

  I whip around. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  He peers down at me, his hazel eyes taking in more than I wish they would. “There’s loads to talk about.” He moves a little bit closer, which puts our bodies completely aligned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know I needed to. What’s it to you?”

  “Fuck, Grace. I just … I don’t know. I feel like I should’ve known.”

  “I’m your fake girlfriend Bennett—so my virginity really isn’t any of your business, and if I’d fucked half the student body that wouldn’t be your business, either.”

  His jaw clenches and he shakes his head, his hair brushing my forehead in the process. “That’s not why I feel like I should’ve known,” he says softer. “If I’d known I wouldn’t have …”

  “You wouldn’t have what?” I ask, my back flush against the door. Every time I breathe, my chest rubs up against him and I hate that I like it.

  “I don’t know,” he says gruffly. “I guess I wouldn’t have made some of the shitty jokes and innuendos I have.”

  “Being a virgin doesn’t make me a prude. You can say whatever you want. I promise I won’t go running for the hills.”

  He smiles slightly. “Then what was that mini freak out in your room?”

  I sigh. “I couldn’t remember what happened last night, remember? Virgin or not, I’d think anyone sensible would be a little worried about what they’d done.”

  He nods. “Right.”

  He pulls away slightly—just enough for me to not feel like my personal space has been invaded anymore.

  “I never want to talk about this again,” I tell him, lifting my chin defiantly. “It’s not important.”

  He nods and moves back completely so I’m finally able to open the door. “You’re the boss.”

  I nod too. “Okay. Glad we’re on the same page.” I open the door and step out into the afternoon sunlight. “Ugh, kill me.” I shield my eyes, barely able to keep them open. My head begins throbbing with a renewed force.

  Bennett and I make the trek across campus, and as per usual, people stare and take photos. I don’t understand it. Bennett’s just a person—he’s normal, even if his head is inflated to the size of Alaska.

  Bennett reaches for my free hand and entwines our fingers together. He smiles down at me and then brushes his lips against my cheek.

  It’s all a show, but no one but us knows that.

  I just hate that it feels so real.

  “Girls’ night!” Elle screams shrilly, taking my hand and dragging me out of our room.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “Makenna wants to go to the mall,” she says, rapping her knuckles against the door to their dorm room.

  While we wait, she picks up the marker for their dry erase board and begins doodling a little bird. Just as she finishes, the door opens and we’re greeted by the two girls. I recognize them now from seeing them around the building but I’ve never spoken to them. I don’t really speak to most people. The whole deal I have going with Bennett makes it hard to trust people—I’ve had a few people try to get close to me solely so they could meet him.

  “This is Makenna.” Elle points to the light-haired brunette with brilliant blue eyes. “And Celine.” She points to the other girl—this one with dark-brown hair and unique gray-colored eyes.

  “Hey,” I wave awkwardly. “I’m Grace.”

  “We know.” Celine speaks for both of them.

  “Right.” I nod. “Because of Bennett,” I mumble under my breath.

  The Makenna girl laughs and it’s a light, twinkling sound. “No, silly. You live right across from us, of course we know who you are.”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  Someone give me the crown for Queen of Awkward.

  I feel bad since the same goes for them and I had no idea what their names were until now.

  “Should we get going?” I point over my shoulder. “Should I call us a cab or something?”

  “I have a car,” Celine says, shutting the door behind her. She’s dressed in a pair of shiny black skinny jeans and a black sweater that falls over her shoulder. I then look at Elle and she’s dressed similarly. I’m tempted to ask them if they’re long lost sisters or something.

  Celine’s car isn’t parked in the garage like Bennett’s is. Instead, hers is in a lot all the way on the other side of campus.

  “Inconvenient spot,” she says, unlocking the doors to her beat-up Toyota. “But at least I have it, so I can’t complain too much.

  We all climb inside, and I swear to God the car groans—I’m afraid it’s going to fall apart beneath us.

  “Don’t worry, it always makes that sound,” Celine says from the driver’s seat as if she read my mind.

  I buckle my seatbelt and say a silent prayer that we make it to the mall and back to campus safe and sound.

  It takes us thirty minutes to get to the mall, and when we do, it takes us another twenty minutes of driving around to find a place to park.

  “Everyone must have decided to go to the mall tonight.” Makenna giggles from
the front seat.

  “Must have,” I agree.

  Once we’re finally parked, we get out and the car groans again and shakes—I know, because some rust specks fall to the ground.

  “She’s got some more miles left in her.” Celine taps the hood of the car and smiles at me.

  I nod, even though I think the car belongs in a junkyard. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a car falling apart the way this one is.

  “Can we get something to eat first?” Elle grabs her stomach. “I’m starving.”

  “There’s a really good Italian restaurant on the bottom level,” Makenna says. “Is everyone good with that?”

  “I am,” I say.

  “Good with me,” Celine says, dropping her keys into her purse.

  “Italian sounds like heaven.” Elle licks her lips. “Lead the way.” She motions her hand for Makenna to go first.

  By some miracle, the restaurant is close to the area we parked, so we don’t have to walk too far, but they’re packed.

  “It’s going to be a thirty-minute wait.” Makenna frowns, holding onto one of those vibrating things. “I put my name down on the waitlist, but we can go somewhere else if you want?”

  I lean against the wall and look toward Elle since she’s the one that’s the hungriest.

  “I’ve already smelled the food and it smells like heaven. We’re staying. I’ll live.” She slides down the wall, plopping on the marble floor.

  “I can wait here while you guys look around a bit.” Makenna waves around the round device she holds. “I can text you when we’re being seated.”

  “No.” Elle shakes her head. “We’ll wait with you.”

  We all end up sitting in a row outside the restaurant on the mall floor.

  I learn that Celine is hoping to become a forensic scientist—I would’ve never guessed that—and Makenna doesn’t know what she wants to major in. Makenna is also a cheerleader for the university team and she seems far more interested in that than school.

  We’re in the middle of chatting when we’re interrupted by a male voice. “Hey.”

  I look up and my smile falls. Tanner. The guy I fell on my first day of classes. After that, he seemed to make it his own personal mission to get to know me. His flirtatious behavior was mildly annoying, but I did my best to brush it off. Once it became public knowledge that Bennett and I were a couple, he backed off … somewhat. He was nice, I guess, but something about him made me feel dirty.

  “Hi,” I say.

  He grins widely, and his eyes squint as he gives the girls beside me a once-over. “Are you going to introduce me to your friends?”

  I sigh. I wasn’t planning on it. “This is Elle, Makenna, and Celine,” I introduce blandly. Tanner never seems to pick up on my lack of interest. I can tell he’s one of those guys that thinks he’s God’s gift to women. Bennett’s cocky too, but not in that way—at least he has some humbleness about him.

  “Nice to meet you.” His eyes linger on Makenna, and I swear he licks his lips like she’s a juicy steak he’s about to devour.

  Makenna blushes under his gaze, and I’m tempted to smack the back of her head and yell, “Get it together girl!” But I’m sure that would be frowned upon.

  “So what are you ladies up to?” Tanner puffs out of his chest, stretching the cotton of his shirt so you can see every ripped and defined edge of his abs.

  I look at him like he’s the dumbest person I’ve ever encountered. “Waiting to get something to eat.” I leave the obviously off. I almost expect him to invite himself.

  Instead, he says, “Oh, yeah. Well I guess I’ll be seeing you ladies around.”

  “Mmhmm,” I hum.

  He nods and heads off on his way—and not a moment too soon because the buzzer finally buzzes.

  “That’s our table.” Makenna jumps up and rushes over to the hostess who already stands waiting with four menus.

  We get seated near the front, where it’s the loudest so conversation is near impossible.

  Regardless, it’s nice, and I find that I really like Makenna and Celine.

  I know I need to start making more time for friends in-between all the time I spend doing homework and with Bennett.

  Everyone needs a life, after all.

  It’s really a shame that murdering someone is frowned upon, because right about now I want to put the blade of my skate against Tanner’s throat. The freshman is asking for it.

  He slams into me from the side, sending me into the glass. It vibrates from the force of my weight hitting it.

  I groan, biting down on my mouth guard. I see red and go after the fucker.

  He’s light and fast on the ice, but I’ve been doing this longer and with players a lot tougher than him. I don’t know why the kid has it out for me, but I’m really fucking sick and tired of it.

  “James!” Coach yells at me. “Focus! Don’t let Wallace distract you! Protect your fucking center!”

  I groan again, knowing I have to follow Coach’s orders.

  I skate as hard and as fast as I can to Michael, who moves furiously down the ice with his stick and the puck. Tanner tries to swipe the puck, but Toby—the left wing—blocks him. I skate up to Michael and he glances at me for only the briefest of seconds. In his eyes, though, I see the same love I have for the sport. This is his life too.

  He smacks the puck into the net and the goaltender is unable to stop it.

  We all hoot and holler—like as if this is a real game where the score counts.

  “Let’s call it a day, gentlemen,” Coach calls from the box. “We’ve got a lot of work to do to be ready for your first game in a month.” He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “A lot of work,” he reiterates. “James, we need to talk.” He gives me a solemn look. I don’t like his tone of voice. Something tells me I’m really not going to like what he has to say. “Come see me after you shower. I’ll be in my office.”

  I nod once, letting him know I understand.

  The team skates off the ice and I fall in behind the last guy.

  I’ve been doing good with these guys. Really fucking good. But suddenly, I fear it hasn’t been good enough.

  When I get to the locker room, I shuck off my gear and shower as fast as humanly possible. I get dressed in a pair of jeans, t-shirt, with a sweatshirt thrown over top. It has the school mascot on it—a tiger.

  I grab my bag and head down the hall to Coach’s office. I knock on the door once and his raspy voice calls, “Come in.”

  I allow myself one deep breath before I open the door and step inside.

  “Hey, Coach. What’s up?” I try to sound as chill as possible, but it’s hard. Luckily, I’m a master at keeping myself in check.

  “Coach Matthews called me,” he says, referring to my coach for the Plymouth Hunters. “He said the last drug test you did for the team over the summer came back positive for steroids.”

  My world falls out from under me. My fists clench at my sides. “He’s lying.” And he is. The fucker—because he can’t use me for his endeavors he’s going to try to destroy me.

  Coach shrugs. “I want to believe you, Bennett, but he faxed me over the papers, and I can’t deny the truth in what I see.” He looks at me sadly, like a father that’s been let down.

  “Coach,” I plead. “Give me another drug test—I promise you I’m not on anything. You know me.” I pound my fist against my chest. “You know me,” I repeat.

  He looks tired … Defeated, almost. I’d expect him to be angry in this situation, but it’s like the fight has gone out of him. “I plan on giving you a drug test,” he says, and opens a drawer. He holds out a white clear cup for me to pee in and I take it. “This way I can be sure you don’t have time to sober up if you’re on anything.” He leans back in his chair. “There’s something else, Bennett.”

  What else could there possibly be? “What?” I ask, scared to know.

  “Your probation has been changed to a suspension for half of the season.”


  “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I roar. I completely lose it then, shoving everything off of Coach’s desk. I scream until the veins in my neck feel ready to burst. “He’s ruining my life!” Melodramatic, maybe, but Coach Matthews has it out for me. He’s a complete asshole—if he can’t own me, make me one of his puppets, he’ll break me. Completely fucking ruin me.

  When I can finally regain my wits, I pick up the stupid fucking cup I need to pee in and point at Coach. “Don’t trust anything that man tells you. He’s a fucking slime ball.”

  Coach surprises me by saying, “I know.”

  I march out of his office and pee in the cup, dropping it off in the sports clinic. They won’t find anything. I’m squeaky clean. But I don’t put it past Coach Matthews to have covered his tracks some way, somehow.

  I need to go to Boston.

  Tonight.

  I knock on Grace’s door.

  I’m a jittery mess, and I should be on my way to Boston, but I can’t go alone. I’m scared if I go alone I just might strangle the man.

  The door opens a second later and Grace stands there in the shortest pair of shorts I’ve ever seen and a skin-tight top.

  “Do you always study dressed like that?” I gawk at her. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s drool in the corner of my mouth.

  She looks down. “I like to be comfy. Why are you here?” She looks around the hall like she’s afraid we’ll be spotted together.

  “I don’t know,” I sigh, shoving my hands in my pockets. “Some shit happened and I need to go to Boston tonight. Can you come with me?” She looks back into her room and then at me. “Are you not alone?” My tone sounds way too jealous for my liking. Giggles sound in the room and I grin. “Slumber party? Are there going to be pillow fights? Why didn’t you invite me, Princess? I’m hurt.” I pout, clutching my heart.

  She sighs. “Celine and Makenna are here studying which has somehow turned into fingernail painting. I’m still really studying, though—so no, I can’t go to Boston tonight. It’s already eight, Bennett, and that’s like a three-hour drive.”

  “Please,” I beg her. “I can’t do this alone. Bring your books. You can study on the way. We can stay at my place in the city and come back in the morning. Tomorrow’s Saturday so you can’t argue about missing class,” I remind her.