Broken Butterfly

by Cindy Patterson

  Mallory sat at Rachel’s kitchen table finishing the chocolate chip cookies Ms. Adams prepared. The wall clock seized her attention every five minutes.

  Rachel stood. “You will survive this, Mallory.”

  “You’re wrong. I’m going home.” She tried to keep a straight face, but she snickered. “Tell Eric I got sick or something.”

  Rachel waved a finger in Mallory’s face. “Oh, no you don’t. You’re not leaving me here to listen to Eric’s sulking.”

  “He won’t sulk over me. He won’t even notice.” Her stomach churned. “He probably forgot and won’t even show up.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure. He takes his drama very seriously.”

  “This is your fault, you know. You forced me to come to that party and made me try out. I didn’t even know Eric was in your group.”

  They laughed and didn’t notice when Paul and Eric entered. Mallory stood too quickly and slammed her knee under the table.

  “Hey, Eric, they look guilty.” The skin around Paul’s eyes crinkled. “I think they were talking about us.”

  Mallory took her glass to the counter, moisture collecting on her palms. She couldn’t face him.

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  Just hearing Eric’s voice created an awkward current of quivers in her stomach.

  Mallory rolled her eyes. What was she thinking? She turned reluctantly when she no longer had a reason to stand by the sink.

  “We could tickle it out of them.” Paul came toward Rachel with a goofy smile, his fingers wiggling.

  Her sense heightened at the thought of Eric touching her.

  “Nah, that would never work.” Eric winked at Mallory. “We’ll have to sneak in the next time and eavesdrop.”

  “Not a good idea, Eric,” Rachel teased. “You might hear something you don’t want to.”

  Mallory avoided his daunting stare, intent on a green and pink plate stand in the corner.

  Eric moved to the counter. “I guess the only thing to do is accept they have secrets.”

  “Are you ready to practice, Jane?” Paul wrapped his arm around Rachel.

  “Why, yes, Mr. Bingley. You gentlemen are late. We’ve been waiting for at least two minutes, sirs.”

  She laughed with everyone else, though hers felt fake.

  Eric walked into the living room, Paul and Rachel following. Mallory took a deep breath before she followed.

  How could she allow someone to hurt her again? She wasn’t good enough for Eric and never would be. Yet she couldn’t control the battle that raged within her … a battle to believe this beautiful, wonderful man would feel as she did. She reread the same line three times, not comprehending the meaning.

  He gently lifted her chin with his fingers. “Look at me, Mallory, I mean, Elizabeth,” he whispered in his forced accent.

  “We need to get this out of our system tonight.” Rachel narrowed her eyes. “Jonathan will expect none of this silliness tomorrow.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m really trying. It’s his fault. He looks at me so …”

  Eric narrowed his eyes. “What? Who? Me? What did I do?” His English accent threw her into another fit of laughter. She held her sides and fell into the chair behind her. “Stop, Eric. You better not do this to me tomorrow night. Jonathan will throw me out.”

  “Forgive me, Miss Bennett.”

  It was no use. She was beyond control. She excused herself to the ladies room. Staring into the vanity mirror, she studied the reflection of the girl she no longer recognized.

  Was this how it felt to be happy?

  Mallory took several deep breaths as she left the bathroom. Rachel was opening the door for the pizza delivery guy.

  She followed Rachel into the kitchen and poured Pepsi into the first glass. “I’ll never be able to pull this Elizabeth thing off.”

  “Sure you will. It’ll be different tomorrow night at practice. We’re just having fun.”

  They watched Pride and Prejudice while eating. Mallory had never seen it and fell in love with the movie. The way they spoke, their costumes, the way Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth. Mallory couldn’t believe they were playing these parts opposite each other. Eric sat in the chair across from her. She didn’t dare allow her gaze to linger for fear he’d catch her.

  Andrew was playing the part of the ridiculous cousin, Mr. Collins. Unable to stop laughing, Mallory stood to leave the room. Eric followed. The many emotions assaulting her all at once prevented her from speaking.

  “You look happy.”

  “Andrew is Mr. Collins. There couldn’t be a better part for him. The silly way he acts. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  Eric moved closer. “Don’t apologize. I like it.”

  A joy consumed her completely.

  “Come on.” He took her hand. “You haven’t seen anything of Mr. Collins yet.”

  Eric led her from the kitchen, dropping his hand as they reached the living room.

  She laughed and cried through the whole movie.

  When it ended, Paul led Rachel to the kitchen and Eric sat on Mallory’s chair arm. “What did you think?”

  “It was beautiful. I’m even more nervous I won’t be able to do this though.”

  He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I’m even more confident you will.”

  The moment shattered when Paul returned to the living room. “We’ve got to go.”

  “I’ll see you later.” Eric’s words drove a shiver all the way through her.

  “Bye.” The smile eased to her lips. She pushed her fears aside, though they were never far from the surface.

  Nineteen

  At Friday’s drama practice, Jonathan gathered the costumes and handed Mallory a long, green dress trimmed with lace. Running her fingers over the silk material, her eyes burned. With every glance in Eric’s direction, a warm glow expanded through her body. Tomorrow she’d be sitting next to him in a dark theater—on a real date.

  The touch of his hand on hers lingered, though it had been days ago.

  “I’m disappointed we haven’t practiced together any more this week.”

  Startled, she turned to face him. “I know.” Her voice sounded strange, like it came from another place.

  “You haven’t changed your mind about tomorrow?”

  The familiar crisp, dry, wood fragrance wafting through the space between them intensified. She focused on his eyes. They were the same deep pools of blue. Breathless, she drowned in them again. “No, I’m excited.”

  “Me too. See you tomorrow night.” His voice faded, and her lungs swelled.

  At four forty-five Saturday afternoon, the doorbell rang. Mallory had been ready for an hour waiting in blissful pain.

  She opened the door, her stomach in knots. “Hi.”

  “Sorry.” Eric propped against the pillar. “I’m a little early?”

  “I’m ready.” She reached for the door and closed it behind her.

  He took her hand and helped her into the truck, but hesitated before closing the door. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

  She swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

  Warmth spread through her as he rounded the truck. His dark hair combed to the side and his sideburns below his ears framed his perfect tanned face.

  They rode in silence, the radio playing softly in the background.

  They reached the restaurant before Eric spoke. “This is my favorite place to eat, and I hoped you hadn’t been here so you could experience it with me for the first time.”

  She lifted her chin to meet his gaze and suddenly found it hard to breathe. “I haven’t.”

  “Good, but if you don’t like it, forget I brought you.”

  She pressed her hands against her middle.

  The room filled with the aroma of Mexican sp
ices. The hostess led them to their seats in the dimly lit restaurant. She folded her arms. Being here alone with Eric settled somewhere between a fantasy and reality.

  They were seated only seconds before Eric asked her the forbidden question. “Where are you from?”

  Her hand fluttered to her lips. She didn’t want to tell him, but couldn’t lie. If she told him what state would it really matter?

  She focused on a young couple sitting behind them, the nightmare of her past pressing forward. “North Carolina.”

  “Really?” Eric flipped through the menu, his smile even. “Where in North Carolina?”

  Her gaze darted from the menu to the salt shaker. It wasn’t like anyone from Pennsylvania would find out anything about her past. “Charlotte.”

  He shook his head, his eyes dazed, but moments later his eyebrows lifted and a gentle smile filled his lips. “That’s a long way from here. How do you like living in Lancaster County?”

  She pushed her fears aside. “It’s been a big change.” Her whole life was different now, her past non-existing, until the nightmares chasing her hit head on. “Have you always lived here?”

  “I’ve lived here for a while.” His gaze locked with hers and the faint lines surrounding his lips rose. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  A familiar flutter took wing. She tried to ignore the sensation. What did it matter if Eric knew? She’d always been good at allowing paranoia to take control.

  After the waitress delivered their drinks, she inhaled, fighting the urge to tell him everything. She bit her lip to hide her smile.

  “What?” He rested his chin on his hands.

  “I was thinking about the other day.”

  He rubbed his jaw. “I felt terrible about that.”

  “Why? It wasn’t your fault. You drove me home so I could change. That was very sweet in case I forgot to tell you.”

  He smiled in a way he never had before. “Anytime, my lady.”

  Heat rushed up her neck and she adjusted the silverware.

  The waitress brought their dinner. Taco’s overflowing with cheese and lettuce. They talked, but avoided the one subject she couldn’t bear. Victoria Chamberlain.

  After dinner, he guided her through the restaurant, his hand settled securely in the small of her back. They stepped out into the cool, night air and she wrapped her arms around her waist in expectation of how the night would end. He opened the passenger door and helped her in. Jake never acted that way. No. She wouldn’t compare them and destroy her time with Eric thinking about that monster.

  Turning in her seat, she faced him. “Thank you.”

  “I should be thanking you.”

  She crossed one leg under the other. “For what?”

  “Agreeing to go out with me tonight. Did you enjoy dinner?”

  “It was delicious.” She pushed her hands under her thighs. “I’ve been looking forward to the play.”

  His voice dropped to a whisper. “Me too.” He parked and walked around to open her door.

  The vast building held no hint to the extravagance they’d find within. The stage was hidden by a rich, maroon curtain. Chills wrapped their way around Mallory as Eric linked his fingers with hers when they sat in the plush, cushioned seats. An untamed heat blazed through her as they watched in silence, Mallory completely entranced by the play—by the feel of his fingers wrapped loosely in hers.

  It wasn’t until that moment she realized how much she wanted him. She wanted him from the first moment she gazed into his eyes, and even more in the moment he sat next to her on the bench downtown, and each moment her need to be close to him intensified. But what would it cost her to give in?

  Sitting beside Mallory, Eric stole frequent glances at her. He could watch her all night. Waves of her long hair fell over her shoulder and he inhaled the sweet fragrance of her shampoo. She seemed captivated by the performance.

  He cherished this young woman. He had dreamed of this his whole life, and it was happening right now before his eyes.

  She allowed him to hold her hand during the entire program, and the fit of her skin beneath his felt perfect. The program ended, and they stood to leave when he caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes.

  “Thank you, Eric. That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  Resisting his desire to kiss her, he lifted his fingers from hers, slipped his arm around her waist, and guided her from the building.

  She chatted easily with him the entire drive to the Chamberlain’s. Soft music played in the background. The subtle movement of her legs shifting to the rhythm grasped his attention, and without thinking it through, he took her hand again.

  It took less time than he ever remembered. “Thank you for joining me tonight.”

  “I had so much fun. Thank you for inviting me.”

  Eric moved from the truck before the feel of her skin convinced him to pull her closer. She turned to face him when they reached the doorstep.

  “I had a wonderful time.”

  He took both of Mallory’s hands. “Me too. A group of us are going to Hershey Park tomorrow. Are you going?”

  “Yeah, Rachel invited me.”

  “That’s great.” He moved forward, but when she glanced toward the main house, he stopped himself. “Goodnight, Mallory.”

  He walked away, wanting to tell her the truth—a truth that could change everything. But it would destroy everything they’d gained in the few hours they’d spent together. The truth would come out eventually. No matter how she responded didn’t matter. He had to be honest. She deserved that much. But it wouldn’t be tonight.

  Twenty

  Mallory stood on the other side of the door. Was this really happening? She slid down the door and landed on the floor.

  “Are you all right?” Nancy’s voice carried from the kitchen.

  She stood on shaky legs and grabbed the handle to steady herself. “Oh, Nancy, I didn’t realize you were still up.”

  Nancy’s lips curved into a remorseful smile. “I must admit I was a bit anxious to find out how things went with Eric.”

  Mallory ran her fingers through her hair. “I had a great time.”

  “That’s wonderful.”

  Fluttering wings soared through her belly, the sensation of Eric’s fingers intertwined with hers still lingering. “How do you know when you’re in love?”

  “Now that’s a tough question. But my guess would be like you feel right about now. You look as though you have stars in your eyes.”

  The full smile she’d been holding back broke free. “It’s like magic.”

  “Yes, I suppose it is.”

  “Goodnight, Nancy.” Mallory floated down the hallway to her bedroom.

  Eric finished breakfast Sunday morning, his date with Mallory replaying over and over.

  Mother spoke, shattering his thoughts. “It has come to my attention that you’ve been spending time with a maid out in public.”

  “What?” He turned and drew in a lungful of air. “What’re you talking about?”

  “The girl that works for the Chamberlains. Are you seeing her? Did you take her out last night?”

  “Her name is Mallory. And, yes, I took her to the theater. How did you know?”

  “Victoria and her mother came for dinner and mentioned you’ve been seeing this—this whatever you called her.”

  He took a moment to clear his head. “What were they doing here?”

  “Visiting me. You’re throwing away a precious jewel in that Victoria. Don’t you go and lose her. You’ll be making a huge mistake.”

  Moving toward the door, he pushed his anger to a dark corner of his mind. “Mother, believe me, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t speak to me like that, young man. I know very well what I’m talking about and you’re making a big mist
ake. I’ve learned quite a few things about your friend, this—this maid. Take my advice and stay away from her. She’s no good for you.”

  What she had learned! She didn’t know anything about Mallory, and if her information came from Victoria, she was even more wrong. Eric couldn’t listen any more. He rushed outside, letting the storm door slam behind him.

  He reached his truck, his hands balled in fists by his sides. What was Victoria doing at his house? And what had she said about Mallory?

  He drove through the curvy back roads of Amish country, breathing harder with each passing minute. Maybe he should’ve asked?

  Calm down. Victoria can’t hurt Mallory. Not as long as I have anything to do with it.

  After church on Sunday, Eric and Paul waited outside Rachel’s as the girls went upstairs to change.

  Paul kicked a rock in the yard. “So, how did last night go?”

  “Great. I had a good time and I think she did too.”

  “That’s wunderbar-gut. So, you really like her, huh?”

  Eric rubbed his jaw. “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “You remind me of how I acted over Rachel when I first met her.”

  He punched Paul in the shoulder. “I guess that means I’m doomed.”

  “Doomed about what?” Rachel stood on the other side of the screened door. Mallory followed behind and Eric’s breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t imagine Mallory more beautiful, yet here she stood with a pony tail, taking his breath away. Her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink.

  Andrew and Kelli turned into the driveway, breaking his spell.

  “Is everything okay?” Mallory moved in the space next to him, and he resisted the urge to take her hand. He only had to wait a little longer.

  “No. I just found out I’m doomed.” He wanted to wrap his arm around her, to tell her how he felt being near her, but stopped himself.

  Her brows crinkled inward, creating beautiful creases between her eyes.

  Andrew stepped in front of Mallory with a big smile. “There’s one condition for going to Hershey Park with me.”