Broken Butterfly

by Cindy Patterson

  His familiar cologne filled the space between them, and her resolve to ignore him for the rest of her life crumbled. “I’m sorry, Eric. I don’t mean to be rude. Thank you for offering to take me. I’ll get my things.”

  Walking with careful strides, she held to the rail, the lighting in the stairway dim from the overcast sky. My time is running out. The baby would eventually need the bedroom. Nancy’s apartment was out of the question. She had nowhere else to go.

  “Where is Jake, God? Why won’t he just leave me alone?”

  “Did you say something?” Mary called from the hallway.

  “No, I’m sorry. I was thinking out loud.”

  “Okay, well tell Rachel I said hullo.”

  As Mallory walked downstairs, a tingling sensation inched through the barrier she’d built. Eric stood by the front window staring out at the yard. She cleared her throat. He turned and, with only a glance in her direction, moved toward the back door. She studied his strength with each step. His strong arms swung in slow motion, his fingers stretched out.

  She hesitated, wanting to explain.

  With a deep breath, she captured the woodsy fragrance, the scent she’d come to associate with him. Fidgeting with her plain dress, she smoothed wrinkles out with her fingers.

  Eric hadn’t spoken two words since they left Mary’s. She needed to tell him the truth about Jake—about why she needed to keep her distance.

  I hate this.

  Every few minutes, she stole short glances of him. He leaned back with one hand on the steering wheel, eyes focused ahead.

  She swallowed hard. “Are you mad at me?” What if he never came back?

  His gaze met hers. “No, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. You’ve been through enough.”

  She squeezed the door handle and exhaled. Her head pounded. He said nothing else. It only took them ten minutes to reach Rachel’s house, but the silence made it feel longer.

  When they arrived, Rachel greeted them at the door and hugged her. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Releasing Mallory, she turned toward Eric. “Thank you for bringing her.”

  “What time do you want me to pick her up?” Eric walked down the steps.

  “I can take her home.”

  “What time, Rachel?” His voice was low and bleak.

  Rachel’s smile faltered. “Come around three.”

  He turned and walked away without looking in her direction. He didn’t even say goodbye. She felt trapped inside a nightmare.

  Rachel led her to the kitchen, and they sat at the table. “Is everything all right?”

  Mallory ripped the Amish kapp from her head, but set it gently on the table. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep hiding like this.” The tension building around her chest increased every day. “But I don’t know what to do.”

  “It’s going to be okay.” Rachel placed a hand on hers.

  “How long can I walk around as an Amish woman? Mary’s been so wonderful-gut to me.” She giggled, realizing what she’d said.

  Rachel laughed with her. “That’s part of the reason I wanted to see you. I know you probably feel safe at Mary’s, but I was thinking you could stay with me a while. I miss you.”

  “Really?”

  Rachel scooted her chair closer. “It would be so much fun. I know you’re working at the quilt shop, but Paul or I could take you and pick you up.”

  “Mary’s closing the shop for a while. I’ve finished all the Christmas orders. Well except for one.” Her thoughts drifted back to the quilt she’d longed to see again, but never in her wildest dreams expected to.

  “So, it’s settled?”

  Her blue dress covered with a black apron hung below her knees, reminding her she still wasn’t free. “What about the Amish clothing?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to wear something normal.” Mallory stood and tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear.

  “Well, what’re we waiting for? You don’t know how lucky you are, you’re my size. Plus, I’ve been to see Nancy and grabbed all your things.”

  Mallory frowned, a deep ache wrenching through her middle. “You’ve seen Nancy? How is she? I’ve felt so guilty. I should’ve called.”

  Rachel stood and placed her hands on Mallory’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, they understand. Andrew told them almost immediately after you left.”

  Mallory’s heart broke for all her friends and what they must’ve gone through. “I think I pushed Eric too far.”

  “He’s only worried about you. Believe me you couldn’t push him away.”

  “Victoria’s pregnant.”

  Rachel gaped and staggered backward.

  “I found the test in her bathroom. There was a picture of them together in a motel room. I feel like I’m dying inside. I’m in love with him, but I can’t stand to think of him with her. It would be better if he stopped coming around me, but I don’t want him to. Now, I’ve made him mad, but it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s going to have a baby with Victoria.”

  Rachel held up her hand. “Wait a minute. You saw a picture of them in a motel. Together? You’re sure it was Eric?”

  Mallory threw her head back toward the ceiling. “I’m positive.”

  “Have you asked Eric?”

  “No, and I’m not going to. I need to forget it, forget him … but he keeps coming around. I’m going crazy.”

  “Mallory, I don’t know about the photo, but Eric isn’t that type of guy. There’s got to be some explanation. Where’s the picture?”

  “I left it in Victoria’s room. I wish I could erase it from my memory, so I could enjoy the feeling of loving him, but instead its torture every time I see him.”

  “Run upstairs and change into something else. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  Mallory’s things, including her toiletries, were laid out on the bed. After pulling on a pair of jeans and light blue top, she grabbed her make-up bag. After applying a light layer, she studied her reflection. Why did Eric keep coming back? She could never compare to Victoria, no matter how much makeup she used.

  Brushing the last stroke of eye shadow, she slouched. It didn’t matter that she could never have him. Her feelings wouldn’t change. She had always loved him. He was her Dragonfly.

  Please help me get through this. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. Keep Jake from finding me. And please, God, I don’t want to love Eric anymore, it hurts too much.

  Mallory moved to the window. Snowflakes swirled through the air.

  Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You’re safe. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me friends who care about me.

  Removing the pins from the bun, she let her hair fall around her shoulders.

  Rachel came into the room and moved to the window next to her. “Mr. Chamberlain’s here.”

  “What?” Mallory faced Rachel. “Does he know I’m here?”

  “I sort of let him know you were coming.”

  “Is he angry?”

  “Of course not. He wants to see you.” Rachel sat on the edge of the bed. “What if you found out you were wrong about Eric?”

  “I’m not.” Mallory dropped her makeup in the bag and zipped it. “A picture can’t lie.”

  “Come on. He’s anxious to see you.”

  Walking from Rachel’s room, Mallory found Mr. Chamberlain standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting.

  “Mallory.” He came toward her when she reached the last step and drew her into a tight hug.

  Tears rolled down her cheeks, the salty wetness sliding across her lips. She wiped her face and met his gaze.

  “Mallory, I need to apologize personally to you for my niece’s part in this.”

  His words confused her. “No, Mr. Chamberlain, you …”

  “She went to North Carolina and found the yo
ung man. She was the one who brought him here.”

  “What?” Mallory’s gaze fell, a rushing sound flowing through her ears. “How did she know?”

  “It’s beyond me how that girl does what she does. But she told me herself.” His expression was torn. “Andrew confided in me about what you found.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The pregnancy test and pictures.”

  Nausea rolled in her throat as the appalling memories assaulted her. How did Andrew know about that? He never said anything.

  “The day you left, he wanted to know why you were so upset. Thinking Victoria had said something to you, he went to find her, but found them instead.”

  An icy shiver slithered down her arms.

  “I saw the pictures myself. I know what you’re thinking, but Eric assured me it wasn’t how it appeared. And I believe him. That young man was miserable after you left. He stayed hours waiting for you to come home. And came by often, hoping you’d returned,” he continued, giving her no chance to reply. “Victoria did some horrible things, and I’m sorry for the pain she’s caused, but please don’t blame Eric. Victoria transferred to NYU this semester and won’t be returning to Paradise.”

  She left? A wave of relief tangled with remorse leaked into her veins.

  Turning to Rachel, his frown lifted. “Mallory, Rachel, I would like you girls to join Ms. Adams and I for lunch. Afterward I have something to show you.”

  The thought of Mr. Chamberlain caring this much for her made her smile. “We would love to.”

  Ms. Adams squeezed Mallory’s shoulder. “We’ll meet you at the car in a few minutes.”

  Mallory walked next to Rachel toward the door, her head throbbing. “I can’t believe Victoria did this.” She exhaled hard. “I knew she hated me, but how did she find out where I came from? I told no one.”

  “And then to set you and Eric up with those pictures.” Rachel said in a low, but determined voice. “I knew it couldn’t be true.”

  “He was lying in bed with her.”

  Rachel pursed her lips. “Why would he pose for a picture like that, especially when he’s working for Victoria’s uncle?”

  Mallory shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “You should ask him.”

  “I can’t. I can barely breathe around him.” Images of his warm smile filled her mind. It was like getting fragments of Dragonfly back piece by piece. “I could never ask him that.”

  But what if Rachel was right?

  Thirty

  After lunch, Mallory followed Mr. Chamberlain to the parking lot. What did he want to show her? He walked ahead of her and Rachel, Ms. Adams by his side. They rounded the corner and Mallory studied the bold letters staring at her from the large sign.

  Butterfly Children’s Home and Adoption Center.

  Mr. Chamberlain slipped his arm through hers. “I hope you don’t mind, but I borrowed the name from one of your short stories.”

  Mallory’s eyes glazed over as she moved forward and brushed her fingers across the shiny, black letters. “It’s beautiful. I feel so honored.”

  “You’ve been an inspiration to me.” He smiled at her wistfully. “The journal stories were yours, weren’t they?”

  Mallory nodded. He’d known all along.

  They entered to the scent of fresh paint and new carpet. It brought back memories of her first days in Paradise. Mahogany furniture set in the lobby reminded her of the furnishings in the Chamberlain home. They walked down the hall painted with bright blue, yellow, and red. Signs hung on the wall next to every door, each with its own purpose: Reading Center. Enrichment Activity Center.

  Children lined the hallway. Some kept their heads down, while others peeked at them with curiosity. Mallory smiled, waving at each one.

  Mr. Chamberlain guided them into an office. “We have a team that runs the adoption department. You would be surprised how many want to adopt.”

  Really? Her life might have been different if someone would’ve given her a chance. Or if Mama had loved me.

  “It’s a very complicated process, but that isn’t the only thing we do. That’s why I brought you here today. I have a coordinator who schedules activities for the children, school aged and younger. Mallory, I would like to offer you a position. I’d like you to spend time with the children, get to know each one. They need love more than anything else.” He winked. “I believe you’re the perfect one for the job.”

  “Me?” Splaying her fingers across her neck, she couldn’t believe she made any sound at all. This couldn’t be happening. Her skin tingled as the children lined against the wall.

  “I know things have been difficult for you, and you’ve been staying in the Amish community, but you’ll be safe here. We have twenty-four hour security.” He took her hand. “I’d really like you to join our team.”

  “I’d love to. I’ve missed you all so much. Thank you, Mr. Chamberlain.”

  “It’s so good to have you back. There’s one more thing. I planned to give you this the week you left. It was meant to be a graduation gift.”

  Mallory followed him to the front entrance of the building.

  “It isn’t safe for you to come to the house, so I brought it here.”

  She couldn’t imagine how any gift could come close to the kindness this man had shown her from the moment she stepped into his home, but she gasped when Mr. Chamberlain handed her the ring. “I don’t understand.”

  He pointed across the parking lot. A white car with a red bow attached to the windshield sparkled in the sunlight. She closed her eyes against the intensity of the moment and grabbed Rachel’s arm.

  Mr. Chamberlain chuckled. “What do you think?”

  “That’s for me?”

  “I thought you could use one. You should be able to come and go as you please.”

  Holding the keys between her fingers, she glanced between the car and him. “I don’t even know how to drive.”

  Mr. Chamberlain laughed. “I’m sure it will be no problem finding someone to teach you.”

  Understanding dawned on her. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to anyone. She’d be able to get away if needed. Unable to speak, she lunged into his arms. If only she’d been given a father like him—if only her mother could’ve met a man like him. Would she realize how wonderful these friends were had she not suffered? Victoria was his niece, yet she took him completely for granted. Mallory thanked God silently as Mr. Chamberlain held her.

  Rachel drove the new car toward her house, and Mallory ran her fingers across the gray dashboard. “This is crazy.”

  “I know. I’m even in shock. A brand new Honda Accord.”

  Mallory shook her head. “Why would he do this?”

  “Because he loves you.” Rachel patted her hand. “We all do.”

  Ten minutes later, Rachel turned into her driveway and parked in the backyard. They walked onto the back patio, dodging patches of ice. “What do you want to do this afternoon?”

  Glancing at her watch, her breathing intensified. “Eric’s coming at three.”

  “Oh no.” Rachel covered her mouth. “I forgot to call and tell him you’re staying here.”

  Mallory removed her coat and gloves, a rush of butterflies invading her stomach. “Did you have something in mind?”

  “Not really.” Rachel propped against the wall and wiggled her boots off.

  “Is Paul coming?”

  “He was, but I can call and tell him not to.”

  Mallory followed her into the kitchen. “No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want to mess up your plans.”

  Rachel chewed her bottom lip. “How would you feel about Eric hanging out with us?”

  “He probably won’t. He seemed pretty mad earlier. I’ve been so rude.”

  Staring through the window, Mallory wasn’t sure w
hether to feel relieved or disappointed when Eric’s truck stopped in the driveway. If only she could run upstairs before he came in, but there was no time. A soft tapping rapped on the door.

  Rachel scrubbed her hands covered in soap suds under the water. “Can you get the door for me? My hands are soaked.”

  Mallory swallowed hard as their gaze met. Snatches of his devotion to her every day after they’d met blended as children with the same devotion he demonstrated now. She felt the hope of every promise the day held, all the way to her bones.

  Eric hesitated when Mallory opened the door. The vulnerability in her eyes were both raw and real. She had changed out of the plain dress, her hair hanging freely down her back. Rachel spoke to him from the kitchen, as he inhaled the familiar scent of Mallory’s perfume lingering in the space between them. He moved, unable to stand being this close without touching her.

  Leaning against the wall just inside the kitchen, he spoke to Rachel, “Did you guys have fun today?”

  “Yeah, we had a great time.” Rachel peeked into the living room. “Where did Mallory go?”

  “I don’t know.” He searched the top of the stairs.

  “Do you want to hang out with us this afternoon? Mallory’s had a long day, and I wanted to do something to get her mind off everything.”

  He stiffened. “Did something happen?”

  “Mr. Chamberlain told her Victoria brought Jake here and how he believed Victoria set you up with the pictures.”

  His hope faded. She acted no different than before. “She didn’t believe him?”

  Rachel sighed. “She wants to, but she isn’t convinced. Not yet anyway.”

  A heavy feeling settled in his stomach. “I’d love to hang out with you guys, as long as Mallory’s all right with it. What’re you planning to do?”

  “I haven’t thought of anything yet. Do you have any ideas?”

  “There’s plenty of snow, we could go sledding.”

  “That would be perfect. I’ll check on Mallory and make sure she’s okay. Make yourself at home, and call Paul and tell him the plan, so he can change into something warm.” She turned from halfway up the stairs. “By the way, Mallory’s staying with me. And Mr. Chamberlain gave her a job. And a car. I’m sure you won’t mind teaching her to drive.” With a wink, Rachel rotated and ran up the steps, leaving him standing there in a shocked daze.