Love Her Right

by Christina OW

  Jase pulled his hand out of their mother’s hold. “God, you’re pathetic, Mom. Instead of defending yourself you’re just sitting there. He just called you a whore and you say nothing!” he yelled the last part and a few monitors beeped loudly.

  “Jase...I...” her mother began, but the opening door stopped her. It was Jase’s doctor and he didn’t look amused with the crowd.

  Well and good, Jolie sighed. She was exhausted and just wanted to go home, but she didn’t want to leave Jase alone with the wolves.

  “I think it’s time for you all to leave. My patient needs to rest.” He turned to Jolie, his head cantered curiously to the side. “Mrs. Masters, how are you today?”

  Jolie forced a smile. She’d spent an hour with another doctor asking her the same line of questions and she was tired of it. Worst of all, she didn’t want her family knowing her business.

  “I’m fine doctor.”

  “And what about—”

  “My mother is going to take the test,” Jolie spoke quickly cutting him off.

  He smiled. “That’s actually why I’m here. Mrs. Simmons already took the test and she’s a match. I wanted us to discuss our next step.”

  For the first time since she came into the room, her mother smiled, hugging Jase’s head to her own. Jase held onto her, his relief rolling off him in waves. And Jolie, she felt peace wash over her. With Jase’s health taken care off, she had one less problem to depress her. She turned to Mac who was smiling down at her, his hand tightening around hers.

  What was she going to do with him?

  Mac looked away from her. “Mrs. Simmons, why don’t you come stay with us for the time being? We live close by and when you’re both out of the hospital it will be great to have you around.”

  “I haven’t agreed to this!” her father protested.

  Jase snickered. “How dare she try to save my life without permission from the great god!”

  “Mac, come help me move my things into your car?” her mother said timidly, keeping her gaze averted from her husband.

  “You already packed!”

  She winced at his harsh tone, but she turned around to face him, looking him straight in the eye. “The doctor called me earlier that’s when I called you all to come to the hospital because I wanted to tell you when we’re all together. And it doesn’t matter whether you like it or not John. I’m going to save my son.” She then quickly pushed past him and left the room.

  Wow! That was the first time she’d ever seen her mother stand up for herself against him. Did she imagine it? She turned to Jase and he had the same look of surprise she was sure she had on her face. No, she hadn’t imagined it. Was it possible that Ana Simmons was finally growing a backbone?

  “I think you should all leave,” Mac thundered.

  “Who died and made you boss?” James sneered.

  Jolie shook her head, wondering how he was going to be a lawyer with such a juvenile attitude.

  She felt Mac’s hand tighten around hers and she winced at the pain. He quickly released his grip as if he knew he’d hurt her, but never turned around to check. Instead he chortled and she could guess the smile on his face.

  She was sure he had the ‘I’m about to pound your ass to the ground’ smile, one she’d seen a few times before he crushed his fist into a guy’s jaw. By the time he’d smiled his warning, his patience would have been completely depleted with the idiot who was insistent in pushing his buttons.

  “There is no way I’m leaving you in this room with Jolie alone. So, you all leave this room peacefully or I start pushing you out one by one,” he growled.

  And surprisingly they left, one by one with a glare at Mac, but not even a glance at her and Jase and also surprisingly she was okay with that. She was fine with this being the last time she saw them. She wasn’t sure if it was the depression but...she was okay.

  “I scheduled the surgery for tonight. The sooner we do this the better chances you have Jase. I’ll see you all later.” With a nod, the doctor left the three of them alone.

  Mac turned and bent over, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Jolie stayed very still, holding her breath as his warm lips stayed glued to her forehead, his hand combing through her hair. When he pulled away, she could feel his eyes on her, but didn’t dare look up to meet them. He’d rattled her enough with that kiss and she didn’t want to feel anything more. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

  He sighed above her. “Jase, when you get better, could we please talk about what just happened because this isn’t the family I left behind five years ago.”

  “We haven’t been that family for five years...and only Jolie can tell you why.”

  Jolie’s head jerked to her brother’s direction. Why the hell was he putting her on the spot? He shrugged at her before he spoke to Mac again. “My mom is going to need your help getting away from them if I’m to have some of her liver.”

  “Okay,” Mac’s hand combed through her hair one more time before he pulled away. She immediately felt bereft, and that feeling worsened when the door opened and closed, signaling he’d left.

  “So, Sis, should I take that as a good sign?”

  Jolie stared at her brother feeling overwhelmed. She wished she knew how to answer that. She wished she could cry and relieve herself of the building pressure inside that was pushing her back to the abyss. Unfortunately, she couldn’t do that either. She felt so very empty and yet exhausted and weighed down.

  “Oh, honey,” Jase pulled her down to lie on his chest tacked under his chin. “Everything will be all right. Just give yourself time to heal.”

  Jolie just nodded, not because she agreed, but because that was what she was meant to do.

  * * * *

  Jolie sat with her legs tucked under her on the seat opposite Mac in the hospital waiting room. The rest hadn’t been bothered to stay. It had been five hours already and they were still waiting to hear about her mother and brother. She hoped all would turn out well, and yet there was a part of her that was ready to accept bad news. A liver transplant wasn’t a simple thing. A number of things could go wrong with both her mother and brother—her father had been all too ready to list them, trying to scare her mom from doing it. A jerk ass move, although he did have a point. So, she was preparing herself because truthfully, she couldn’t let another thing take her by surprise and completely destroy her.

  Since Mac had enlisted, she always thought the news of his death would be the straw that broke her, never his request for a divorce because truthfully, even when the truth of his abandonment stared her in the face, she never thought he’d ever love another woman more than he did her. But that woman—Tara—probably knew more about Mac than Jolie did. Well, she knew the old him very well but not the man he was the five years he’d been gone. He must have changed because she hadn’t. That would be the only plausible reason for wanting to be with another woman, because if he was still that same man, he would never have stopped loving her.

  And Miles...

  She stared at her son, who had been brought by the nanny a few hours earlier, fast asleep on his daddy’s chest, wrapped protectively by his powerful arms. This Mac has never held her like that—like she was cherished, loved and the most important person in his entire life. She watched as Mac, stroked Miles’ wild curls, pressing tender kisses on his head as he checked to make sure his son was still asleep, comfortable even when it was clear he himself wasn’t comfortable sitting slanted on the chair.

  This new Mac has never shown her that same concern, not even when they slept next to each other in bed. He slept right at the edge on his side like he was afraid to touch her. The old Mac took every opportunity he could to touch her, even the briefest moments.

  What changed?

  “Tell me about your time in the military?”

  Mac looked up at her like he wasn’t sure it was her who’d just spoken. Why was he always surprised when she spoke, or moved or raised her voice like every other human being? Oh yeah. Because lately sh
e had resembled a zombie. She’d just ask again then.

  “Mac, what have you been up to these past five years?”

  He looked down at Miles one more time before he met her gaze. The look in his eyes made her fidget. It wasn’t exactly blank nor shut off like the rest of his face. There was something there that actually frightened her. It was like reading a ‘Do Not Enter’ sign in large red letters.

  What the hell?

  “I trained for a year then I was deployed to Iraq to do some maintenance work on their choppers. They were glad to have me. It was cheaper, faster and more efficient to have an engineer on site instead of contracting outside. I had my own team—”

  He stopped and for a moment, she saw something flash in his eyes, his jaw tensing before the sign was hung up again.

  “We worked well and fast, because we couldn’t stay in one place for too long. We moved around the Middle East, one location for approximately four months at a time.”

  He went silent, just staring at her, his eyes boring into her. It made her uncomfortable.

  “So you never came back state side?” she found herself asking, more out of needing to know why she was the only army wife whose husband never came home. She’d joined the support groups in Pendleton and formed strong friendships with some of those women. Although that too was getting emotionally taxing because her friends always moved away when their husbands were transferred. She’d always stay waiting to hear something from Mac.

  He rolled his lips and Jolie knew the tale-tell sign. He didn’t know how to say the next words because he was sure they would hurt her. That only made her want to know even more.

  “Mac, did you ever come back?”

  He sighed, nodding his head. “I was back for a month after each deployment—more so for supplies and research than anything else.”

  “So when did you meet Tara?”

  She watched as he swallowed hard, his mask completely dropping.

  “A few months after my last tour,” he answered reluctantly.

  She felt her throat twinge. Why she was doing this to herself? She had no idea. She just really needed to know why he didn’t love her anymore.

  “How long did you date before you proposed?”

  He fidgeted looking away. “Why are you asking me these questions?”

  “How long?” she repeated.

  “About six months,” he pushed past his clenched teeth.

  “Did you ever tell her about me?”

  Silence.

  “Or did you think if you forced yourself to forget me, I would disappear, our marriage with it?”

  Silence.

  Jolie waited for the relieving feeling of indifference her depression had gifted her, but all she felt was the betrayal painfully gnawing at her as her throat closed up.

  “How many women before and after you met the new love of your life?” she asked bitterly, fighting back the urge to run away and hide and just cry all the hurt away.

  God, it felt like he’d run a blade right through her heart. It hurt so badly!

  He looked at her, his brows deeply creased, his lips turned down. She was not going to cry when he looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. If she has, it’s all his fault!

  “Considering you cheated on her with me.” She laughed embittered by the irony. “God, it’s so messed up I don’t even know which way is up! Tara is the mistress not me, so how many women did you sleep with my dear husband as I suffered to take care of your son?” Her last words were practically a scream.

  “Jolie, this isn’t the time or place to discuss—”

  “It’s a simple question, Mackenzie! While I was struggling to feed your son, to keep a roof over his head, clothes on his back, healthy and educated, how many women were you screwing?”

  “I left you a house and money!” he whispered harshly looking around the waiting room.

  Jolie didn’t care if they had an audience. She wanted to rid herself of the hurt that was currently eating her alive!

  “A house I couldn’t sell because it was in your name, benefits from the military I couldn’t get because no one seemed to know you had a wife and fifty thousand dollars that was practically depleted in the first year of Miles’ life. I don’t know if you know this, but babies aren’t cheap!”

  “Enough! We’ll discuss this at home,” he commanded sternly, thinking to silence her but it only pissed her off even more.

  Jolie leaned forward, her hands tightly wrapped around the arms of the chair, her nails digging into the wood as tears flooded out of her eyes, her jaw clenched so tight her teeth hurt, and the bitterness in her heart rising in her throat as bile.

  “I don’t want to talk about it at home. I wish there was no reason to talk about it! I wish you were dead, your body riddled with bullets as you rot in a fucking ditch in that fucking war you loved so much! I wish someone came knocking on the door, with a flag and a purple heart to tell me you were dead and there would be no body to bury because the wild animals had devoured what little was left of you. I wish you’d died there because that Mac I could still idolize, that Mac I could still tell his son was a hero, a patriot, the best man that ever lived, the love of my life, my other reason for living. I would tell him that the hell his grandfather put me through was worth it because Mackenzie Masters was worth every second of pain and torment I went through after he signed up and left me alone!”

  She shot off the chair and knelt at his feet between his parted knees, her hands fisted tightly on the thighs of his jeans. “Do you hear me? I wish you were dead, Mackenzie Masters. I wish you were dead!”

  “Mrs. Masters, calm down!” She heard the familiar voice behind her as hands around her arms tried to pulled her up and free from Mac, but she wasn’t ready to let go. She wanted to see the hurt in Mac’s eyes, the pain and torment she’d lived with for years. Instead all she saw was that ‘Do Not Enter’ sign which drove her even more insane.

  She vaulted to her feet and yanked Miles out of Mac’s arms. Mac released him easily even when Miles whimpered searching for his warmth in his sleep, and just stared up at her with that same annoying gaze.

  “Don’t come after us. Don’t come near us ever again. You have no family, Mackenzie Masters. No wife, no son, you are not an expectant father. You come near us again and I swear I’ll make sure this baby isn’t born, and I’m going to make sure Miles knows who’s responsible, do you understand me?”

  He gave her a slight nod, just a nod no other expression, no emotion at all. God, did she mean so little to him? Did his children mean so little to him? Was this the excuse he needed to go back to perfect Tara? Refusing to cry in front of him, she turned around and rushed away. God, she was going crazy, she was going bat-shit crazy and it was all his fault.

  * * * *

  Mac didn’t know how long he sat there staring at the chair Jolie had been in. He could still hear her voice as she screamed her pain, her hurt, her anguish. He could still hear how she wished he’d died and all he could think of was how close her wish had come to being true. He could still hear the words that condemned him, the forgiveness he was denied, the threat against his unborn baby’s life. He could still hear the words that chained him to that chair like a loud echo stuck in a loop. Those words drained him, crippled him, festering in his heart like a viral infection.

  His son, his baby, his wife...all gone...taken away by his own stupidity, never to see them again in his life.

  Now what? What did he do now?

  He had been a coward five years ago, running from them and now, would he be a coward now if he didn’t go after them? But he couldn’t do that even if he wanted to. His hands were tied, his feet were shackled, and his heart strung up with a noose, one wrong move and a life was destroyed.

  He knew that Jolie wouldn’t hurt an innocent child he knew she wouldn’t...but that was the old Jolie. The Jolie who wasn’t spiteful who wasn’t filled with hate and resentment. The Jolie who loved him even when he didn’t deserve to be loved, the one who
faithfully waited for him to come home while he philandered the years away. That Jolie he trusted not to hurt his children, but this Jolie...he couldn’t risk it, he just couldn’t risk it!

  He went to stand up, but his jelly legs gave out and he fell to his knees. He couldn’t breathe. It was like his lungs were being wrung dry. He couldn’t breathe!

  Oh God, what had he done!

  Chapter Four

  “Tell me what happened?”

  Jolie met Dr. Patel’s gaze defiantly. “I already told you, what else is there to say?”

  “Three months ago there was a scene in the surgery waiting room that you caused. Some members of your audience called child protective services on you and the only reason you still have your son is because your mother stepped in. If you plan to keep them, you need to work with me here.”

  Jolie turned away, slouching further into the seat. She knew what was at risk; she didn’t need reminding. She had been at Mac’s house, packing her things and Miles’ when the cops knocked on her door, demanding to see her son. If it wasn’t for Mac coming when he did and saving the day, she would have lost one child and been waiting to lose another in six months. At first she thought he was the one who called the cops on her, but the social worker cleared that up. Apparently six concerned citizens who’d watched her episode called it in claiming she’d threatened to kill her children. She’d only threatened to kill one and she didn’t mean it. At the time, she might have, but now, seeing the evidence of that life inside her, she’d die before she harmed her baby.

  What had gotten into her that day?

  “Jolie?”

  “I was angry and I just snapped,” she blurted out. “I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. I didn’t mean a word of what I said.” She turned an accusing glare at Dr. Patel. “You never told me that I’d be choked with all these emotions on this fabulous road to recovery. I felt like I was drowning in them, and I had to get it all out!”

  “We did discuss this, Jolie, in our first session. I recommended that you stay away from confrontation, to ease back into your active life slowly because there were a lot of negative emotions you needed to face. Your depression came instantly and it wouldn’t leave the same way.”