Loving a Lawman
Page 11
She was so confused! She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she wasn’t in love with Chase Langston. So why did she keep thinking about Seth? And what did it all mean?
With a sigh, she shifted back to her original position, all too aware that once she moved, Chase eased into place as well.
She thought about trying her theory again and moving closer to Chase, but decided against it. She was confused enough as it was. And a few minutes later they pulled into the graveled parking lot at Manny’s.
She did her best not to be hyperaware of Chase as they walked toward the entrance. Like most small-town Texas honky-tonks, Manny’s served just enough food to keep people coming in at all hours. They opened their doors at lunch and closed them at two a.m., serving hot wings and cold beer every day but Sunday.
How could she be so conscious of Chase when he wasn’t even touching her? Or maybe it was because of that lack of contact that she was so aware. Seth would hold her arm, place his hand on her back, cup her elbow in his palm. Chase walked behind her. Just there. Not touching, not helping or guiding. Had it always been like that? She couldn’t remember.
“Hey, look who’s here.” Chase pointed across the empty dance floor.
Seth and Millie were seated on the opposite side of the place, their heads bent close together as they talked over the pulsing beat of the jukebox.
What were they doing here? And why did she care that they were together? They had a history, but she and Seth had . . .
“Let’s sit over here.” She slid into a booth farthest from the pair. How was she supposed to talk to Chase about everything with Seth just across from them?
“Sure.”
A waitress Jessie had never met came over and Chase ordered them a couple of soft drinks and a basket of wings. She must have been the one who took my job.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Chase asked as their server moved away to turn their order in to the kitchen.
Jessie took a steadying breath, but all the words that she had practiced on the way over left her in an instant “I thought you were never going to talk to me again.”
He shot her a rueful smile. “You know how it is. I can’t stay mad at my best girl.”
“That’s just it,” Jessie said, nervously shredding the top napkin from the stack the waitress had left for the earlier patrons, “if I’m your girl, why did you bring the blonde here the other night?”
“I didn’t bring her—”
“Please don’t tell me she followed you.”
“But she did.”
Jessie shook her head. He just couldn’t see it. “Whether she followed you or not, that didn’t mean you had to . . . to . . .” She waved a hand in the air, searching for the best word to describe Chase’s behavior. She came up short.
“Is that what this is all about? Angela?”
“That was her name?”
Chase frowned. “I think so.”
“Yeah,” Jessie said, but her gaze was drawn back to Millie and Seth. What were the two doing together? “I guess you could say that.”
“You don’t really think she meant anything to me.” It was half question, half statement.
“What am I supposed to think?” she asked as Seth looked up and caught her gaze. Even with the entire width of the dance floor between them, she could see the flash of hurt and anger in his green eyes. What call did he have to be upset with her? He was the one who asked her to date him, then showed up with another girl just days later.
The memory of his desk the night he arrested her surfaced in her mind. There had been casserole pans stacked on top of cake pans on top of muffin tins and more.
No doubt Seth Langston was one of Cattle Creek’s most eligible bachelors, and there he was, sitting across the bar with his onetime girlfriend. It just went to prove it.
She wondered if Darly Jo had come by the office to pick up her good Pyrex pan. And if anything else happened.
White-hot frustration flooded her. That was all it was. Just aggravation over falling victim to the charms of Seth Langston.
A new record dropped in the jukebox and a soft ballad started. Jessie grabbed Chase’s hand and stood, tugging him to his feet. “Dance with me.”
“What? Now?”
“Yes, now.” She pulled on him until he stood and took her into his arms.
“The wings will be ready soon.”
“They can wait.” She didn’t know what possessed her, but she wanted to show Seth that she could move on. Or maybe she wanted to show him that their afternoon together didn’t mean any more to her than it did to him.
She stepped a little closer to Chase, glancing over to see if Seth was watching. He was and somehow she managed to curb her smirk of triumph. She had slept with him willingly, but she would not be his pity date.
Chase twirled her around just in time to see a glaring Seth stride toward them.
“Sorry, brother—I’m cutting in.”
Chase looked as if he might protest, but then he released her and bowed out. Jessie had one last look at him approaching the table where Millie sat before Seth tugged her close.
“What are you trying to prove, Jessie?” A smile still pulled at his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“I’m not trying to prove anything.” She tossed back her head as Dustin Lynch continued to sing about cowboys and angels. It was far better to concentrate on the song’s lyrics instead of how it felt to be in Seth’s arms once again. Right. That was how it felt. But how could that be?
She was vaguely aware of Chase leading Millie out onto the dance floor. At three o’clock in the afternoon they were the only people in Manny’s and certainly the only ones dancing.
“Then why are you here with him?” Seth asked.
“Why are you here with her?”
“I asked her to meet me here to talk about coming to work at the jailhouse.”
“Did you fire Nancy?”
“I don’t think she’s coming back, but until she does, there’s still a lot to do.”
“So the two of you came all the way out here?”
Seth chuckled. He had pulled her close enough that she felt the sound vibrate and rumble out of his chest. “Why, Jessie, you sound almost jealous.”
She squarely met his clouded gaze. “Why would I be jealous?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“Whatever.” Not the pithy remark that she would have liked, but it would have to do on short notice.
“Your turn,” he said.
“He came by the house today. I thought it would be as good a time as any to tell him about . . . you know.” The heat that filled her face could have toasted bread. But she wasn’t sure what to call that afternoon in Seth’s truck.
“And?”
She tossed back her head so she could see him better from under the brim of her hat. “It hasn’t come up yet.”
He made some sort of derisive noise, but Jessie decided to let it slide. He was entitled to his opinion.
But one thing was certain: she would never tell Chase as long as she was dancing in the warmth of Seth’s embrace. She stepped away from him and surprisingly he let her go.
Without a backward glance she tapped Millie on the shoulder. “I believe this dance is mine.”
* * *
What was that all about?” Millie asked.
Seth shrugged and led her back to their table. He hated leaving Jessie with Chase. But hadn’t it always been that way? “Oh, you know Jessie.”
“Yeah, but I’ve never seen her act that way around . . . you.” She slid back into the booth and pinned him with that deep brown, knowing gaze. “Does this have anything to do with the other night and Chase’s truck?”
“No,” he answered truthfully.
“Then what’s going on between the two of you?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I do and I also know you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She gave him that mysterious smile he knew so well. “You’re a smart man. You’ll figure it out. Now, when do I start?”
* * *
So you’re heading to Denver?” Jessie asked an hour and a half later as Chase walked her to the front porch. She tried not to compare the way Chase walked her to the door to the way Seth did. They were two different days, two different dates, two different men.
Seth had the obvious advantage. It had been dark, romantic, and he had taken charge and kissed her like he meant it. Maybe he even did.
“Big ride tomorrow.” Chase gave her that trademark smile that had charmed her all these years. Today it just made her wish she had danced more with Seth at Manny’s.
Jessie nodded. She never had a chance to talk to Chase about Seth. She wasn’t even sure Chase would care. “Be careful,” she said.
“You know it. Oh, I almost forgot.” He pulled an envelope from his back pocket. “Here’s your money back.”
She frowned. “Money from what?”
He shifted from side to side as if suddenly uncomfortable. “My truck. Seth had the bat dusted and found out that some guy from Amarillo trashed it.”
She looked at the envelope, thumbed through the contents. It was the same money that she had given Seth not so long ago.
“Seems this guy has a friend riding in the competition. I guess they wanted to keep me out of the game.”
“I suppose,” Jessie murmured.
He shoved his hands into his front pockets and stared at the ground. “Sorry I accused you and everything.”
“It’s okay,” she said, a bit numb with shock. Chase had thought her guilty, while Seth had done everything in his power to make her confess the truth. Not only that. He was so confident in her innocence that he had squirreled the money away until he had proof.
Chase bussed her cheek and loped back down the steps.
Jessie watched as he swung himself up into his truck. The whole town thought she was guilty. Yet Seth knew she wasn’t. He was the only one. Her champion. She waved to Chase. Seth had believed in her. Really and truly believed in her.
Chase gave her a little salute in return and backed out onto Larkspur Lane.
With a sigh, Jessie tucked the money into her purse, then let herself in the house.
“Meemaw, I’m home.” She put her hat on the stand by the front door and dropped her bag next to it. “Meemaw?”
Only the hum of the window unit Jessie had set up in the parlor greeted her. Not even one of her grandmother’s answering coughs.
She must be asleep. Jessie eased into the parlor, careful not to wake her.
Her grandmother was slumped in her chair, her neck at an uncomfortable angle. A glass lay on the floor at her feet, a large water stain surrounding it.
“Meemaw?” she whispered, even as the truth penetrated her veil of denial. “Oh, Meemaw.” Jessie collapsed onto her knees, taking her grandmother’s gnarled hands into her own. Tears burned her eyes as she pressed a kiss onto the backs of her fingers. Jessie laid her head in her grandmother’s lap as her tears started to fall.
She had been afraid this would happen. Her Meemaw had died without anyone around. Jessie hadn’t even gotten to say good-bye. Now the regrets piled on her one by one. If only she hadn’t gone out. If only she had checked her grandmother’s medication. If only, if only, if only . . .
She allowed herself a few minutes to sink into her sorrow. There was so much to do that she couldn’t give herself the luxury of a good long cry. She had calls to make, people to contact. So many things to do. But first she needed help.
She picked up the phone and called Seth.
Chapter Nine
They buried Naomi McAllen on the first rainy day they’d had in nearly six weeks.
Seth stood under the tent next to Jessie as they lowered her grandmother into the ground. The rain tapped out a soft rhythm as they stood side by side, though not touching. Jessie’s posture was brittle as if she was barely holding herself together.
But somehow she managed as everyone filed back to her house to eat the casseroles, corn bread, and pie.
Other than her father whom nobody had ever seen, Naomi was Jessie’s last family. Seth had no idea what it would feel like to be all alone in the world. He couldn’t imagine. Though he did remember the sense of abandonment he had when his own father had died. Seeing as how he had four brothers, a mother, and three grandparents living at the time, he could only imagine how alone Jessie felt.
“Thank you for coming,” Jessie said as she walked Seth’s mother and grandmother to the door. They were among the last to leave the wake, which left only Seth.
His mother shot him a look behind Jessie’s back, one of concern and love.
Seth replied with a silent nod and watched as Jessie shut the door behind them.
She leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She held her shoulders at a tired angle, but somehow he knew she wouldn’t break down. Not now. Not yet.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Her eyes snapped open as if she had forgotten for a moment that she wasn’t alone. With a sigh, she pushed herself off the door. “I guess I better clean up this mess.”
She produced a ponytail holder from who knew where and scooped her strawberry blond curls into a high spout on the top of her head. Then she brushed past him into the kitchen. Her steps quickened as if somehow she could run from whatever was dogging her heels.
Seth followed, finding her tying a worn apron over her gray dress. He knew for a fact that his mother had taken her on the shopping trip to buy the clothes she was wearing. And even with its elegant lines, Jessie had paired it with her black cowboy boots. She’d shed those as soon as they walked into the door after the funeral. Now she stood with her bare feet on the worn linoleum. Her toenails were painted bright pink and snagged his attention. How many times had he seen her feet? Countless, if he factored in all the hours they had spent as almost-family members swimming in the pool at the ranch house or down at the lake, but he never remembered her having pink toenails. Nor did he ever remember really seeing them. He’d made love to her and he hadn’t even seen her feet?
“You don’t have to do this now, Jess.”
There wasn’t a mess. The ladies’ auxiliary from the Baptist church had seen to that. All the food had been put away, the trash taken out, and the dishes washed. All that was left to do was dry and put them away.
“It’s okay. It won’t take but a minute.” She whirled around to face the sink and flipped on the water with one deft flick of her wrist.
“I think you should sit down for a little bit,” he said, even though he understood. If Jessie sat down she’d have way too much time to think, but he had to know she was going to be okay before he left. If he left.
“Linda Sue did the dishes.” She made a face. “I used to work with her at the Chuck Wagon. Not the neatest person.”
He came up behind her and turned off the water, so aware that he had trapped her between himself and the cabinet. How easy it would be to spin her around and take her into his arms and kiss her as he should have the other day. Kiss her and cherish her the way she should be kissed and cherished.
She looked up at him, her eyes stormy and confused. “I don’t want to sit down,” she admitted. Her voice cracked on the last bit. “She’s gone, and I can’t just sit down.”
The tears t
hat she had held in all day rose into her eyes. She blinked them away, but more took their place.
He hated to see her cry. He hated to see her in pain. Especially when he could do nothing to ease that ache in her heart. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She was warm and sweet and sobbing.
“Shhh,” he murmured. “It’ll be okay.”
Her arms snaked around his back and fisted in his shirt as if to hold him close and never let him go. “I can’t believe she’s gone.”
“She’s in a better place, Jessie.”
“I know,” she sobbed. “That’s why it’s so wrong of me to wish she was here.”
He smoothed a hand over her hair, loving the feel of the springy curls against his fingers. “It’s not wrong of you. It’s only natural. I think it would be wrong if you didn’t feel that way.”
With her hands still tangled in the back of his shirt, she lifted her head from his chest, her gaze locking with his. “You do?”
“I do.”
In a flash, the moment of grief turned into a moment of intimacy. He smoothed her hair back from her face, fighting with every fiber of his being not to lean in and kiss her lips. It was a short battle.
He lowered his head slowly to give her plenty of time to tell him no, push him away, but instead she reached up on her tiptoes and met him halfway.
Unlike the kiss from that day in the truck, this one was soft and sweet. With his lips he tried to tell her how sorry he was, how much he loved her, and how he would always be there for her. He wasn’t sure if she got the message. Those were words he couldn’t say out loud. He could only hope that somehow her mind interpreted what he longed to say.
Seth lifted his head, knowing that if he stayed much longer, it wouldn’t stop with kissing. Now was not the time or the place. She was too vulnerable, too filled with grief. He couldn’t take advantage of her again. He stepped back, but she pulled him close once again.
“Seth,” she breathed. Her head was tilted back, her eyes half-closed. She looked wondrous and lovely, and Seth wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and find some soft place to lay her down. “Stay here tonight.”