Loving a Lawman

by Amy Lillard

  He had wanted to get everything they would need or at least as much as possible while they were there, but Jessie told him that there would be baby showers and gifts galore. They shouldn’t buy everything at once. Other people would want to give the baby Langston presents too.

  They had picked out bedding. He had read in Your Body, Your Baby that most women like to have a theme in the nursery. He found the perfect sheets complete with gold stars, cowboy boots, and revolvers, but Jesse simply rolled her eyes and showed him soft white sheets with pale gray elephants and tiny gold stars. In the end he had agreed to bow to her expertise, or maybe he fell under the spell of her smile.

  Seth cut the lights, only then realizing how dark it had gotten since they hit Langston property. Jesse had laid her head against the window a while back and now seemed to be in some sort of trance. She might have even fallen asleep. They had shopped all day. She had to be exhausted.

  “Jessie?”

  She stirred, and Seth could tell that she was neither asleep nor in a trance. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and she looked pale even in the dim light of the cab.

  “Are you okay?”

  She looked as if she was going to open her mouth and speak, but then she shook her head, opened the door, and fell out of the truck.

  “Jessie!” He was out of the truck and around on her side in an instant.

  He stopped short when he saw her there. She was on the ground on her hands and knees. Her head was down, and her body heaved.

  “Jessie?” he whispered. “Let me help you up.” He reached out to pull her to her feet, but she smacked his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me,” she snapped.

  She was sick. Dry heaves continued to rack her body. She had one hand pressed to her stomach while the other held her up. Maybe food poisoning. They had eaten together at his favorite place there in San Angelo, a little hole-in-the-wall that served to-die-for Tex-Mex. But they had eaten the same thing: chips, salsa, guacamole, and enchiladas. If she had food poisoning, then why wasn’t he sick as well?

  The answer hit him like a wet bag of manure.

  “The baby,” he whispered.

  She gave a small nod, then coughed as another spell overtook her.

  “You’ve got to get into the house,” he said. She couldn’t stay out here all night.

  “I can’t move,” she admitted. “If I move, I’ll be sick.”

  “You’re already sick.”

  “Don’t touch me, Seth.”

  This was one thing he couldn’t give her. “It’ll only take a minute. Right into the house and straight to your room. I’ll go as quick as I can. You need to lay down and rest. You can’t do that out here.”

  “No,” she gasped.

  “Jessie, let me help you.”

  “Seth,” she breathed.

  “Quit being prideful. This is our baby, and our pregnancy. I may not be able to carry the baby or suffer through morning sickness.” He looked around at the indigo sky. “Er, night sickness, but I can damn sure carry you into the house and get you settled someplace more comfortable than the overgrown grass in our front yard.”

  He could almost feel her defeat. But it wasn’t about winning. It was about teamwork. Yet now wasn’t the time to lecture her about that. He needed to get her into the house and settled.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  “Ready,” she finally said.

  He lifted her as gently as he could, feeling as if she were the weight of the world in his arms. In a way she was. She was the weight of his world. He had done this to her. His desire for her had created a baby that currently seemed to be at odds with the rest of her body.

  Somehow he managed to open the door with one hand and keep his wife steady against him.

  Sadie barked in greeting as he entered the house with Jessie cradled to his chest. He took the time to acknowledge the confused pup who followed behind him through the living room.

  “Just a couple more steps,” he murmured as he continued down the hallway to her room.

  It was dark inside, and for that he was grateful. He wasn’t sure if light would hurt her eyes, but it wasn’t worth finding out the hard way.

  Ever so gently he laid her on the bed.

  She rolled to her side, retching as she moved. At least she wasn’t getting physically ill, but he’d had enough benders in his life to know that dry heaves could be worse than the other kind for sure.

  He gave her a sympathetic look, then moved to the bathroom and wet a washrag.

  Returning to her side, he pressed it to her cheeks, then laid it against her forehead. That task complete, he moved to the foot of the bed to remove her boots.

  He set them next to the trunk at the foot of the bed.

  Once she was still with the rag cooling her skin, her crazy stomach seemed to settle down. She lay quiet in the darkness of her room.

  He wanted so badly to crawl into that bed beside her and pull her close. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. Let her know that they were in this together. He would be there for her come what may. But he knew she needed rest and quiet. He blew a kiss toward her freckled cheek, then let himself out of her room.

  * * *

  Bright sunlight filled the room. Jessie rolled onto her back. Why did she feel so twisted up and confined?

  Ever since she had found out that she was pregnant, it seemed that her dreams had grown increasingly more vivid. Consequently she usually woke up bound in her own covers from a nighttime of tossing and turning.

  She reached around her waist to release whatever cover she had twisted herself up into, only to discover that it was her own clothing that was causing her discomfort. Had she slept in her clothes last night? It was certain that she had slept in her jeans. She remembered San Angelo, then feeling a little sick as the sun started to go down, then turning into the ranch house driveway bouncing along, then Seth cradling her to his chest as he carried her into her room. Last night he had been her knight. More than her knight. Her hero, who had come to her rescue and had done everything right.

  She sat up in the bed and pushed her hair back. The curls surrounding her face felt like a tangled rat’s nest, but that was to be expected. Her curls plus wet rag equaled hot mess every time. Still, she was grateful for Seth and his tender, loving care.

  She pushed off the bed and went to the bathroom. Her stomach felt empty and yet crampy at the same time. She supposed half an hour of dry heaves could do that to a person, but she hated it all the same.

  At least with the new day came a renewed sense of health and well-being. She hadn’t gotten sick at all until last night. Maybe it had more to do with the car ride instead of the baby. Whatever it was, she was glad it had passed. In fact, she felt energized, full of life, and . . . happy. Yes, she was happy. Was it okay to admit that now?

  She had lost her grandmother and alienated Chase, and his family would never look at her the same, but she had Seth and their child that she carried. Today was a beautiful day. They had a lovely—in a vintage sort of way—home and so much more. Yes, she was happy.

  “Good morning.”

  Seth was seated at the table when she breezed into the kitchen. Somehow her coveted cup of coffee didn’t seem appealing this morning and instead she opted for hot tea.

  “Good morning,” he returned as she popped a cup full of water into the microwave and added a lemon zinger tea bag. Now, that sounded good. She went to the fridge and searched the shelves. Maybe some milk, a little sugar . . .

  “Did you sleep okay?” Seth asked.

  She grabbed the milk jug and set it on the table as she addressed her husband. Dang, he looked good in the morning, all stubby and sweet, sleepy and sexy. “I did. You?”

  He shrugged and folded over the morning paper and set it to the side of his place mat. “I was a little worried about you.”


  She smiled and eased into the chair opposite him. “Thanks for taking care of me last night.” She reached a hand across the table and squeezed his fingers.

  “Of course.”

  “No, really, Seth. I don’t know what I would have done without you and . . .” She stopped as she remembered how stubborn she had been the night before. She hadn’t wanted his help. Not just because she was a little uncomfortable with the situation, but also because she hadn’t had to rely on anyone other than herself for so long that it was near impossible to do so. “Thank you.” She leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss on the mouth.

  Unlike the ones of late that seemed controlled and almost orchestrated—though nice, very, very nice—this one was wildfire and gasoline. In an instant, she felt as if her entire body had been engulfed with flames. She wanted him now more than she ever had. She wanted him inside her, all around her. She wanted him to be a part of her, together until they became one. One mind, one body, one soul.

  He wrapped his fingers around her arms and put her away from him. His green eyes blazed with desire. She might not know a great deal about men and desire, but that much was obvious. How long were they going to court before he made her his once again?

  “Seth?” If only she could get the courage she needed to ask him outright. But she was afraid she might not like the answer. No, it was better by far to wonder than have her heart shredded.

  “Not yet, Jess.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and set her from him. “What do you want to do today?” he asked.

  She thought about it a minute and allowed him the subject change. “We could work on the nursery.”

  “I was thinking more along the line of going into church.”

  Jessie shook her head. “Maybe we should wait until people start to accept us as a couple before we do that.”

  “How are they going to accept us as a couple if we don’t?”

  “I don’t know, but please.” She couldn’t handle another episode like the one with Sissy Callahan. Of course, they didn’t have to go to the same church where Sissy’s father preached, but one thing that Jessie had learned in life, there was a Sissy Callahan for every occasion. Or in this case, denomination.

  “Whatever you want,” he said in that wonderful Seth way of his, but somehow his bending to her every whim and desire was beginning to wear a bit thin. Or perhaps she was merely a little on the hormonal side. Or it could be the pent-up desire that flared to life whenever he was around. Once again, it could be chalked up to hormones. Her husband might have wanted her once. But he was holding back from her now. And she had no idea why.

  “I want to get the nursery ready.”

  “Are you sure you’re up for that?”

  “You just said whatever I want.”

  He nodded. “So I did.” He pushed to his feet and took one last drink of his coffee. “The nursery it is. Just promise me you won’t overdo it.”

  Jessie sighed, though secretly she loved that protective streak of his. “Fine,” she said. “I promise.”

  * * *

  They spent all day working in the nursery putting together the furniture and washing the baby sheets. Seth figured she’d have to turn around and wash them again before they brought the baby home, but he wasn’t about to interrupt her nesting.

  She stood by the nursery door and looked at where he had placed the crib and the changing table. “Do you think the bed should go along that wall instead?” She pointed to the far window.

  “Only if you want him awake with the sunrise. That window faces east.”

  She thought about it a second, then nodded. “I guess. It just seems . . . not right. Maybe it’s not balanced.”

  “You want me to get one of those books on feng shui?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t even know what that is.”

  “It’s a Chinese way of placing your furniture so that it brings wealth or happiness into your home.”

  “And they have these for baby furniture?”

  He shrugged. “I would imagine. They have them for everything else.”

  “Like how to make her vice president?”

  “I was thinking more along the lines of making him a cowboy.”

  She gave him that look he loved, somewhere between the little girl he once knew and the seductress he had met once or twice. “That won’t be a problem,” she said. “Not with you for a daddy.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  She wanted everything to be perfect. Jessie slid the garlic bread into the oven and gave the spaghetti sauce one last stir and a quick taste. Perfect. She set the spoon to one side and turned down the heat.

  Seth would be home any minute, and she wanted to present him with a wonderful, tasty, perfect spaghetti supper.

  Yesterday they had spent the entire day together working in the nursery, putting the final touches on their home. Then last night Seth had been so kind and caring when the nausea set in. He made it easy to pretend that they would last forever. Or maybe he made it seem as though they could. He made it easy to believe that this marriage was what they both wanted. But the more he acted that way, the more confused she became. He wanted to court her, to give them time, and she . . . well, she wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. She loved this time of getting to know each other better, but yesterday morning she had wanted . . . more.

  The timer for the pasta beeped, and she grabbed a couple of pot holders to pull the pot off the stove. She had no more gotten the water and noodles poured into the colander than a pungent smell filled the air.

  What was . . . “The bread!” She raced to the stove and opened it just in time for the buttered slices to burst into flames.

  As quickly as she could, she pulled them from the oven and tossed them into the sink.

  Right on top of the pasta.

  The pan sizzled, and plastic melted, adding yet another smell to the growing stench in the kitchen. Burned bread, hot plastic, and . . .

  Scorched spaghetti sauce.

  Jessie spun around toward the stove. The perfect sauce was bubbling out of control. She must have turned the temperature up instead of down. She switched off the eye, for real this time, and scooted the pan off to the side. That was one thing that she hadn’t gotten used to since moving out to the old ranch house. She’d had a gas range at her meemaw’s house. Not that the type of stove she was cooking on had anything to do with the disaster that had been the perfect dinner for her husband only a few minutes ago.

  From outside she heard a truck door slam. Seth was home. She waved a pot holder in front of her face to clear some of the smoke away. The front door opened; then the smoke detector let out a shrill ring.

  * * *

  Seth took one step into the house, only to be greeted by the smoke alarm. “Jessie?” He took off running toward the kitchen. “Jessie!”

  But the sight that met his eyes when he entered the room was not what he’d expected.

  Jessie in cutoff jean shorts and a pink-and-white baseball shirt was something to behold, but after that, the kitchen left a lot to be desired. She looked okay, intact and whole, but the stove was covered with splatters of tomato sauce, something that looked like chunks of coal smoldered in the sink, and the smell of burned plastic invaded his senses. “What the hell happened in here?”

  She whirled on him, jaw clenched, and then she collapsed onto the floor like a rag doll. At least she was sitting up. Her head was down, and her legs were crossed Indian-style.

  “Jessie?”

  She lifted her chin, and his heart skipped a beat as tears trickled down her freckled cheeks. “I just wanted tonight to be perfect.”

  Her expression was so pained he almost laughed. But he managed to pull himself together. He hooked his hands under her arms and hoisted her to her feet. “It’s okay,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sure dinner can be saved.”


  “It can’t,” she sobbed. “And I ruined it. It’s all my fault.”

  “It’s just dinner,” he said as he rocked her from side to side. This must be what the book was talking about when it said pregnant women had mood swings and emotional outbursts. The authors’ advice to husbands was to be kind and considerate and let the mom-to-be know how much she meant to him.

  “It’s more than dinner,” she blubbered. “I wanted to do this for you.”

  “Shhh . . .” He pulled away from her and cupped his fingers on either side of her sweet face. “It’s food, Jessie. Just food.”

  “But . . . but . . .” She pulled away and surveyed the mess. “What are we going to eat tonight?”

  Seth smiled. “We’ll find something.”

  * * *

  Maybe this was why people fell in love before getting married. It made it easier to overlook all the little mistakes and blunders, Seth thought as he patted his stomach. “Thanks for dinner, Jessie.”

  She shot him a look, but it was more playful than angry. After her meltdown, they had scrounged though the cabinets and found the makings for a Frito chili pie. Not exactly a gourmet meal, but it was quick and easy and having an alternative helped to dry Jessie’s tears.

  “Let’s go out on the porch and sit in the swing.”

  She set their dirty plates on the counter and gave him a look, half-confused, half-suspicious. “Let me clean up this mess, and I’ll be right there.”

  “That’ll take too long.” The quicker he got her outside and sitting by his side, the quicker he could put Operation Seduce My Wife into motion. It was time. They had been married for six weeks, and he was pretty sure Jessie was ready to move to the next step. Lord knew, he was. Yesterday morning just proved it, but he wanted everything to be perfect, and laying her down on the kitchen table was far from a fantasy. Well, his maybe, but she deserved better. The best.