Inhibitions

by Kimberly Bracco

  “I’ve never had sex without a condom,” he tells me. His eyes meet mine before he looks back down at the patch. “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.”

  He doesn’t say anything else for a few minutes, just stands there stroking his shaft up and down. God, he has a gorgeous cock. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Long, hard, and perfect. I practically salivate just looking at it. I'm still a little intimidated by the size, but I’m so worked up already that I’m not terribly worried.

  "I hope you're ready, baby. I wasn’t kidding when I said that I’m going to take what I want from you, and what I want is to fuck you like you have never been fucked before. So if you have any objection to that, now is the time to say it. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once I slide bare into your perfect little pussy."

  God damn, if I were still wearing panties, they’d be soaked all over again. My subconscious strikes again, spitting out words before I can put together a complete thought. "Fuck me, Tanner."

  With no more hesitation, Tanner climbs onto the bed and kneels between my spread legs. He wraps his hands around my thighs and pulls me down to meet his cock. He slides his hands under my ass, lifting me higher before impaling me on his thick, rigid erection. "Holy Shit," he says at the same time I yell out, "Oh fuck."

  I feel so full, so impossibly full. Tanner hits every sensitive spot possible with each thrust, and all I can do is hang on and pray like hell I don’t die of pleasure.

  "Eyes on me. I want to see your beautiful face while I fuck this amazing pussy of yours. I’ve never felt anything this amazing before. You're so tight and hot. You make me feel like a teenager again. I don’t know how long I can last in this heaven before I come harder than I’ve ever come before."

  I snap my eyes to his and take him in. His muscles all bulge he’s wound so tight. Watching the way he slams into me over and over is so fucking hot. I feel myself getting wetter and wetter watching him take what he wants from me. It isn’t long before I feel a familiar pressure growing in the pit of my belly. I decide to ask for what I want.

  "Harder, Tanner. Fuck me harder."

  And fuck me harder he does. He pulls out and flips me over. He slaps my ass as he tells me what he wants. "Put your gorgeous ass in the air, Ashley. You want harder, you're going to get harder." He pulls me up by my hips and pushes my upper body down to the bed. He wraps his hand in my hair and pulls my head back. Using my hair as leverage, he pulls back and slams his cock back into me repeatedly.

  "Ahh, fuck, Tanner. Yes!" Every nerve ending in my body is on fire. My whole body is shaking. I feel the release coming, like a tsunami in the making.

  "Are you close, baby? Do you want to come? I’m ready to come. I need you to come with me."

  "Yes, please. Fuck, I need to come."

  The pleasure is so intense that every second it takes me to get closer is pure torture. He keeps up his fast rhythm until I’m in a delirious frenzy. I just need a little push to get me over the edge. Tanner's right hand leaves my hip, and when it returns, it’s not where I expect. He’s lubed his thumb and now gently massages my back hole.

  I tense slightly. This is foreign territory for me. I’ve never had anything near my ass, and I’m not sure that I want to either.

  "Relax. Trust me. I won’t hurt you," he says, continuing his ministrations. The sensation is odd but enjoyable. He applies a little pressure, rubbing his finger in small circles slowly, and I'm done.

  "Yes, Ashley. Fuck yes, baby. Come. Squeeze my dick with your pussy," Tanner yells, thrusting harder, chasing his release while mine is still going. Everything has gone black except for the little stars I see behind my closed eyes.

  "Fuck, Ashley," Tanner screams as he slams into me one final time, pulling me to him.

  I feel his hot cum filling me along with every twitch of his cock as it does. Holy fuck. I’ve never felt anything so earth-shattering in my whole life. My world has been rocked.

  We stay locked together for a few more minutes, catching our breaths, before Tanner pulls out. He stands over me while I roll over and curl into a ball.

  "I’ll be right back," he says, lightly smacking my ass before heading to my bathroom. He returns a few minutes later with a wet washcloth in hand. He kneels down next me, says "Open," and pushes my legs apart. He gently wipes away the traces of his essence and my residual wetness before tossing the rag into the hamper.

  "Is it okay if I stay?" he asks, looking down at me.

  "Of course." I roll to one side of the bed so he can lie down.

  He climbs in next to me and pulls me closer. Wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me to his chest and kisses the top of my head. I smile to myself and lay a hand on his chest. He has no chest hair, and his skin feels incredibly soft. I can’t help but pet him.

  "What’s going on in that pretty head of yours? You okay?" he asks.

  I continue to pet his chest while he strokes my back. I’m amazed at how comfortable we are with each other. There’s none of that weird “What do I say now?” phase going on.

  "Nothing. Just thinking about how comfortable we are right now."

  "I want you to always be comfortable with me. There’s no reason for you not to be. I find everything about you beautiful and amazing. And what we just did was absolute perfection." He kisses the top of my head again.

  "It was, wasn’t it?"

  "It sure was. I just have one question… What happened to you, baby? Why are you so shy when it comes to sex?"

  "Nothing happened. I’ve just always been afraid to ask for what I want. I feel like saying it will make me seem like a whore," I answer without hesitation. No point in lying if he's going to know anyway. Besides, I want to be open with him. I feel as though I can really be myself around Tanner.

  "Why would that make you a whore? Unless you were asking every guy you met to fuck you… But even then, it’s your business and no one else's."

  "When I was a freshman in college, I decided to explore my sexuality. I went to a Halloween party, met a hot guy, and we hooked up. Afterward, I was trying to find Quinn, and what I found was the guy I’d just slept with talking shit about me to his friends. He said I was easy and down for anything. He told his friends to go find me since I’d probably be down for more. I was humiliated. People talked about that girl for weeks after, and I was always worried they would find out she was me. It gave me a complex, and since then I’ve felt that I would be slutty if I took or asked for what I wanted. I always wonder how people would look at me if they knew that I wanted to be owned or manhandled a little. Quinn has been telling me for years that it doesn’t make me a slut, but it’s hard to move past it. In my mind, I know what I want, but my mouth can’t ever seem to get it out." Saying it aloud, I realize how silly it sounds, but no one ever said that insecurities needed to make sense.

  "Well, baby, I can tell you one thing: I will own you. I’d love nothing more than to dominate you. I prefer it actually. I don’t think you're a whore or a slut. I think it’s a huge turn-on. That said, it’s no one else's business what we do. I would love to show you how much fun we can have together, if you’ll just let me. I just need you to trust me."

  "I do," I say, and I know it’s true. I can tell that he genuinely cares for me.

  "Then that's all that matters, baby." He holds me a little tighter and kisses my forehead.

  Chapter 20

  ASHLEY

  The amount of time I’ve spent at Tanner's this past week has put me behind on my laundry, and I have at least three loads that need to be done this morning. I’d told Tanner as much when he asked why I needed to leave so early on a Friday. I’ve been spending nights at his place lately to make things easier for him. He spends most of the day working out and practicing with the team, and it’s just more convenient for him to be in his own bed at night. I’d never realized how much work a football player does during the season. There are days when Tanner is already sleeping when I get to his house. Those are the times I love the most,
when he looks so vulnerable and carefree. He’s even more beautiful asleep if that’s possible.

  When I’d gotten back to my condo that morning, Quinn wasn’t home. I’ve eaten and showered, and now it’s time to get to work. I turn on the stereo and get started on the laundry and cleaning. I grab a pile of clothes and toss it into the washer. I go back to my room to pick up all the dirty laundry still littering the floor and toss it into the empty basket. I gather all the trash lying around to throw out.

  Looking down at my unmade bed, I can’t remember the last time I changed the sheets. I grab the comforter and toss it into the corner next to the laundry basket. I grab some new sheets from the hall closet and come back to pull off the dirty ones. When I bunch up the flat sheet to toss it in the basket, something on the sheet has it sticking to the fitted one still on the bed. Eww, gross! It’s probably a dried stain from Monday night when Tanner was here. I look closer to what has the sheets sticking together. No fucking way! I instinctively reach to rub my right hip, not believing my eyes. This can’t be happening.

  My birth control patch is not on my hip, but right in front of me, stuck to my sheets. No! No! No! I changed my patch on Monday like I always do. I must not have stuck it on as well as I’d thought. I immediately grab my phone to google what to do. I find one website that says I should put a replacement patch on right away, that as long as it hasn’t been more than seven days I should be good. It also says to be safe I should use a backup contraceptive for the next few days just in case. Well, that won’t be a problem. I won’t see Tanner again until at least Monday or Tuesday.

  I run to the bathroom and put on a new patch. In all the years that I’ve been using the patch, I’ve never had one fall off. I blame it on Tanner. He loves to dig his fingers into my hips. Thankfully, it’s only been off for just over seventy-two hours. I should be okay.

  **********

  I feel as though I’ve totally dodged a bullet with the patch situation. Of course it had to happen the same week that I tell Tanner we don’t need to use condoms. My fantastic luck strikes again.

  I spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning the condo until Quinn gets home and decides we need a girls’ night in, complete with Chinese and wine—her favorites.

  “I’ll go for the wine, but I don’t want Chinese.” I’m tired of lo mein and sweet and sour shrimp.

  “What do you want then?”

  “How about Indian?” I ask, in the mood for something different.

  “Not my first choice, but fine,” she huffs as though it’s the biggest inconvenience in the world. In all honesty, it probably is for her.

  “So how was your week with the Superstar?” Quinn asks as soon as I hang up after placing our dinner order.

  “Sex-tacular.” I laugh at my own stupid joke.

  “Really?” Quinn looks at me as though she might disown me, “That was lame even for you, Sweets.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Well, I guess the sex must be that good if he has you making lame jokes about it. At least there’s a plus side.”

  “It is, and it’s an everyday occurrence. Buts it’s not just the sex. I feel like I’m a different person when I’m with him. I feel like he gets me in ways that no one other than you does.” It honestly feels as though a great weight has been lifted from my chest, but I can’t help feeling anxious too.

  “You say that as if it’s a problem.”

  “Do I? I guess I’m afraid to let my guard down. God, my past with men sucks. Who’s to say that I won’t get burned again?”

  “That’s a part of life. Things happen, but you can’t not live or take chances because of it. You run the risk of missing something great if you do that. But I’m not the person you need to be talking about this with. He is.”

  “We aren’t even really a couple. Why would I tell him all of this? To scare him away? What if he decides that I’m not worth the baggage I bring to the table?” I ask. I don’t know why a man like Tanner would want to deal with baggage, and Lord knows I have plenty.

  “Well, then you’ll know before things get too far, but I don’t think that will be an issue, Sweets. You’re the only one that doesn’t see your worth.” She smiles at me.

  “I’m not the only one. My mother would surely tell you what a disappointment I am.” I sigh.

  “Fuck your mom. I’d like to slap that woman for adding to all your doubts. I know she’s your mother, but don’t listen to a word that woman says about you and your worth. She wouldn’t know your worth if it bit her in the ass,” she says, flailing her arms in frustration.

  I can’t help but laugh at Quinn’s animated spiel. She’s never liked my mother.

  While I’m still laughing, my phone rings, and Tanner’s name flashes across the screen. I swear he has ESP that lets him know when I’m talking about him.

  “Hello,” I say after swiping the screen to answer.

  “Hey, baby, I know it’s super late notice, but can you be ready in an hour?”

  “Ready for what?”

  “A fundraising gala this evening,” he replies.

  “Are you kidding me? There’s no way that I can be ready for something like a fundraising gala in an hour. I don’t even have a dress to wear to something like that.” Is he serious?

  “Come on, Ashley. I was just asked to go. It won’t be for long and it’s a good cause. You can even cover it for work,” he adds as though he’s trying to entice a child into eating her vegetables.

  “That’s a great idea, but there’s still no way I can be ready in an hour,” I insist just as Quinn rips the phone out of my hand.

  “She’ll ready in an hour, Tanner. I’ll make sure of it.” She hangs up before I can protest.

  “What the fuck?” I yell. “Why would you tell him that? There’s no way I can pull that off. I have no dress, and I’d have to do full hair and makeup.”

  “Will you chill the fuck out and shut up? I have a closet full of dresses, and your hair and makeup won’t take that long. Stop your bitching, and let’s get to work. You don’t turn down a chance for a night out.”

  I stand there, staring at her in utter disbelief. She can’t be serious.

  “Move your ass, bitch. Time’s a’ ticking,” she calls over her shoulder on her way to her bedroom.

  Not even an hour later, I’m standing in front of the full-length mirror checking myself out. I have to say I look damn good. I’d picked a royal blue sequined gown from Quinn’s closet, a mutual favorite of ours. It makes my eyes pop. We’ve paired it with black Louboutin pumps. My hair is down and curled. Quinn has clipped it at the nape of my neck so it hangs, all to one side, down over my shoulder. My eye makeup is very natural, just black eyeliner and mascara with shimmery nude eye shadow. My red lips pull the whole look together perfectly.

  “Never doubt me,” Quinn says smugly.

  “I don’t know about never, but in this case you were correct.” I admit defeat.

  I’m just finishing the look off with some earrings when the doorbell rings.

  “I’ll get it,” Quinn yells, bounding for the door.

  A few moments later, Tanner stands in my doorway, a huge grin on his face.

  “I knew you’d be ready,” he says, sauntering over to me like the king of the world.

  “No, you didn’t, and don’t think I’m not pissed about this.” I smile despite myself.

  “Let’s see if you’re still pissed at the end of the night.” He plants a kiss on the curve of my neck.

  “Yes, let’s see indeed.” I step out of his reach. “None of that,” I tell him. “We don’t have time. I was only given an hour’s notice for this evening.”

  “Yes, and you didn’t even need it all. Reggie is waiting for us in the car.” He ushers me from the room.

  “Here,” Quinn says, handing me a black clutch. “I put everything you might need tonight in here already.”

  “Thanks for all your help, Quinn,” Tanner says, smiling at her and leaning over to kiss her cheek for goo
d measure.

  “Anytime, Superstar. Have fun!”

  **********

  “What should I expect tonight? I‘ve never been to an event like this before,” I ask Tanner after we’re seated in the town car we’re using for the night.

  “It’s a fundraiser for underprivileged children. Just dinner and dancing and boring speeches, but the cause is more than worth enduring them for.”

  Now I understand why he accepted at the last minute. He has that soft spot for kids.

  “So what’s with the last-minute invite?” I ask, curious as to how the event came up out of nowhere.

  “The tickets were given to the Jets organization, but whichever big wig was supposed to go couldn’t make it and requested me to go in his place since it’s for kids and I got all that hype in the press from the Jesse incident.”

  “Well, that was smart.” Good for the team, good for the event. I guess that’s why these organizations pay boatloads of money for PR people.

  “Sure was. So all we have to do is show up and have a good time.” He grabs my hand and brings it to his lips to kiss.

  When we reach the gala venue, I stare wide-eyed when I realize where we are: the Grand Prospect Hall. It’s a beautiful stone building with that old New York feel to it. The gold accents around the windows give it an antique air. There’s a red carpet rolled out leading up to the entrance lined with photographers. Lights flash from every angle as each car lets its occupants out.

  “Jesus, Tanner! You didn’t tell me it would be like this,” I say, feeling panicky. I don’t think I can do this. Photographers and reporters yell people’s name as guests emerge, calling for them to look this way or that way.

  “Relax, baby.” Tanner rubs my arm. “You’re with me, and I’m a pro at this type of thing. Just follow my lead.”

  Yeah, great. Just follow his lead. My hands are shaking, and I feel sweat forming on my brow.

  “You’ll be fine,” Tanner says in a soothing tone, the one he uses when he’s trying to get me to latch on to an idea of his. I’ve heard that tone a lot in the bedroom. I blush at the thought.