Inhibitions

by Kimberly Bracco

  I feel the telltale twitching of his cock as his orgasm pulses through him, the gush of warmth as he coats me with his cum. I slump and rest my head against his shoulder as we both wait for our heart rates to return to normal.

  After a few minutes, Tanner stands from the couch, his cock still hard inside me, and lays me down on the couch before pulling out.

  “Christ, there is nothing hotter than seeing my cum drip out of your gorgeous pussy and down your leg. I love knowing that when you leave here, you’re leaving with a part of me still inside you,” he says with a possessive gleam in his emerald eyes.

  “Fuck, Tanner, I think I just had another orgasm hearing that mouth of yours.”

  Chapter 22

  ASHLEY

  Things have died down even more over the last two weeks, and no one seems to be paying attention to Tanner and me anymore. We’ve laid low since the news of our relationship broke, but it finally seems as though we can venture out in public again without being mobbed. Part of me wishes that Tanner weren’t so beloved in the New York area. Then no one would give a shit who he was dating or what we’re doing. But then he wouldn’t be the Tanner that I fell for either.

  The Jets are on a bye week this week, so Tanner and I have plans to spend the weekend out together. He’s coming with me this weekend to cover my assignments. I have three places to cover and we’re going to two of them tonight, a new Italian restaurant on Staten Island and a Sports Lounge that’s been picking up popularity downtown. Who could possibly be better company than Tanner at either? Quinn and Alex are tagging along as well. Tomorrow, we’re going to check out a fall festival that’s taking place over the next three weekends on Long Island. It’ll be an all-day event, and I'm sure that there will be more than enough things to check out and write about at the festival.

  I’m currently putting the finishing touches on my makeup for the night while I wait on Tanner and Alex. I'm going casual tonight with dark blue skinny jeans, a cream peasant top, and ballet flats. The weather has been unseasonably warm for the middle of October, one small benefit of the terribly hot summer we had.

  I’m overcome with excitement when I hear the doorbell ring. Tanner and I haven’t been able to spend a whole weekend together since we met. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s a nice change of pace to act like a normal couple on the weekend. Couple. I still can’t believe that I’m half of a couple with this outstanding man. Women all over the country would kill to be me. It’s such a foreign idea to process. No one has ever been jealous of me that I know of.

  “Hey, beautiful,” I hear Tanner say from the doorway of my bedroom. The smile that spreads across my face is involuntary, just like the rest of my body’s reactions when Tanner is anywhere in my vicinity.

  “Hi, handsome.” I turn to face him, walking toward the doorway.

  His arms immediately wrap me in the most delicious embrace. I love being in his arms.

  “I missed you,” he says, burying his face in my hair. “You smell amazing.” He inhales deeply. “Always so amazing. I love that your scent lingers on the pillows at my place so I can smell you even when you aren’t there.”

  My heart melts. “You know, I’m pretty much a forgone conclusion. No need to butter me up.”

  He chuckles. “Nothing wrong with letting my girl know how much I love her scent. Every one of them.” His eyes go from sweet to devilish in an instant.

  I feel my face heating up, but Quinn and Alex burst into my room before I can respond.

  “Cut that shit out, Tag.” Alex smirks. “I’m starving, and I don’t feel like waiting for you to have a fuck-fest before dinner.”

  At that comment, my face completely ignites. I could probably give Rudolph some competition I’m blushing so hard.

  “Don’t embarrass Ashley,” Tanner chides him. “Besides, you’re just jealous that I have better game and stamina than you.”

  “Doll, please tell Tag here that my stamina shouldn’t be questioned,” Alex says, turning his attention to Quinn.

  “He’s right, Tanner. The man’s a beast in the best possible way.” She smiles deviously and winks at me. She knows exactly what she’s doing by riling these men up. We’re both in for some great sex tonight if she keeps the ego-stroking up. Quinn is definitely onto something.

  “Hmm, I doubt that he can keep up with Tanner, though. The man’s a force to be reckoned with,” I add.

  “We can skip dinner and just have a fucking contest here and now. We’ll see who can last longer and fuck better. Hope you girls don’t need your voices tomorrow,” Alex says, sounding completely serious.

  Uh oh, maybe this wasn’t the best thing to start.

  “You’re on,” Tanner says without tearing his eyes away from Alex.

  They can’t be serious right now. No way am I having a fucking contest with my best friend and his best friend. I look to Quinn for support but she doesn’t seem the least bit fazed.

  “Umm, I don’t think that’s a great idea,” I say, determined to be the voice of reason here.

  “You’re right, Ash,” Alex concedes. “Forget the contest. Let’s just have an orgy, and we can teach them some fun stuff.” He waggles his eyebrows at Quinn.

  “What?” An orgy? Alex is off his fucking rocker.

  “Could be fun. You said you wanted to explore new things,” Quinn says.

  “Are you all fucking nuts?” I ask, incredulous.

  Then, absolute hysteria breaks out. All three of them are laughing as though this is funniest situation ever.

  “You should see your face, Sweets,” Quinn says, trying to catch her breath between laughs.

  “That was great,” Alex chimes in.

  Tanner is still laughing as he pulls me to his chest. “My sweet, innocent little Ashley.”

  “You guys are mean.” I’m honestly pissed that this has somehow turned into a “let’s mortify Ashley” party.

  “That was priceless. Almost as funny as your face when we got to the sex store and you saw all the latex and dildos,” Quinn says, reiterating my humiliation. “You guys should have seen how big her eyes got when she saw all the butt plugs next to the twelve-inch vibrators.”

  What the fuck is going on right now? Is this make fun of Ashley’s sexual inexperience day? And more importantly, why is my best friend facilitating it?

  “Aww, never seen a butt plug before, Ash?” Alex asks.

  “Umm, no.” I say, still trying to figure out why they’re all ganging up to make fun of me.

  Tanner starts laughing again. “We’ll have to get you some then, baby.”

  “Ooh, get her the ones that have the cute gems on the end,” Quinn suggests “She couldn’t stop looking at those.”

  I want to throttle the bitch right now. Some best friend. All three of them may find this topic hilarious, but to me, it’s nothing short of crushing. I can’t believe they’re all having such a grand ol’ time at my expense.

  “Your face is priceless right now, Ashley,” Alex says, destroying what little of my dignity had been hanging on.

  “Okay, enough. Leave my prude little princess alone,” Tanner says.

  No, he didn’t! I pull my head back to stare at him.

  I hear Quinn’s quick intake of breath as her laughter instantly ceases. Alex and Tanner are still chuckling to themselves, clueless as to what they’ve done. I catch a glimpse of Quinn from the corner of my eye, mouth agape, and eyes as big as saucers. She’s looking at me with a mix of worry and sympathy. I stare daggers at her and push myself away from Tanner to storm out of the room. The bathroom is the closest room to mine, so I run for it and slam the door behind me.

  How dare he call me prude? Who the fuck does he think that he is? I pace around the small room restlessly.

  I hear Quinn telling them that they took it too far, that Tanner couldn’t have picked a worse word to call me than prude if he’d tried.

  “What are you talking about?” I hear Tanner ask. “What just happened?”

  “You
basically just set off an emotional nuke in there,” Quinn informs him. “I need to do some damage control.”

  “Let me,” he says.

  “No, trust me. It’s better if I talk to her first. You really have no clue what you just did,” she whispers harshly.

  “Well, someone tell me what the hell is going on!” he yells.

  I’m tempted to lock the door so none of them can come in, but I know that would be the immature thing to do, even if I don’t want to see any of them right now.

  “Sweets?” Quinn asks cautiously as she opens the door.

  “What?” I snap at her, still pacing. “Is it time for round two of ‘Humiliate Ashley’?”

  “I’m sorry. That wasn’t our intention. We were just joking around. It wasn’t planned or anything. We were all adlibbing, and it went too far.”

  “Yeah, at my expense.” I’m getting dizzy with all the pacing, and it feels as though the walls are closing in on me. My anger and embarrassment are turning into sadness. I’m in yet another situation where the man I’m with thinks I’m a prude. “Maybe I’m just destined to be the shy, boring, prude girl for the rest of my life,” I say, launching into my own pity party.

  “Oh stop it,” Quinn scolds. “He didn’t mean anything by it. Tanner had no idea what that word would do to you. There’s no way in the world he thinks you’re a prude, especially with all the crazy monkey sex you guys have.”

  “No, I don’t think you’re anything other than amazing,” Tanner says from the doorway, his voice filling the small bathroom.

  Damn, I wish I’d locked the door after Quinn came in.

  “Fuck you, Tanner.” Does he think he can just come in here and say a bunch of bullshit and things will be fine?

  “Ashley, please tell me what’s going on. I have no idea what just happened.”

  Quinn heads for the door. My gaze follows her shoes across the small space as she squeezes past Tanner and leaves. I don’t want to lift my head and let him see the tears pooling in my eyes. I sit on the edge of the tub, trying to gain some composure. Tanner stands there motionless, I assume waiting for me to say something or at the very least acknowledge him. I don’t want to. I get that he had no clue what that word meant to me, but I’m still pissed and hurt.

  “You’re an insensitive asshole, that’s what happened,” I say after a long while.

  “Ashley, baby, please look at me,” he pleads. With that tone in his voice, it’s almost impossible to deny him anything.

  I angle my head toward him but don’t meet his eyes. He closes the distance between us, crouches down, and places his hand on the back of my neck. He slides it down and under my chin to tip my face up, giving me no choice but to look at him.

  “Baby, please don’t cry. I don’t know what I did to upset you, but please help me understand so I can fix it.”

  I try to take a deep breath, and a sob hitches in my throat. I know I need to explain my anger to him.

  “When I caught Jason fucking that woman, he said that it was my fault, that if I wasn’t such a prude, he would’ve been satisfied and wouldn’t have needed to go elsewhere.”

  His eyes go wide, almost as wide as Quinn’s had when Tanner made the unintended comment. His face falls and pales simultaneously. Clearly, that wasn’t what he’d expected to hear.

  Having to tell him all that brings another round of tears to my eyes. I can’t hold these ones in, and when I blink in an effort to clear them away, they fall down my cheeks.

  Bringing his hands up to my face, Tanner brushes away the falling tears with his thumbs and pulls my face to his chest. His chest is strong and warm, and I can’t help but settle into it and let everything out. The sobs rack my body, and I have no control any longer.

  “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. You’re breaking my heart right now,” he says, squeezing me more tightly. “I never meant to make you sad. It’s killing me that I’m the one who has made you so upset. Please know that I don’t and never have thought of you as a prude. You’re beautiful and vibrant. Sex with you has never been anything short of spectacular. You’re amazing.” He strokes my hair, uttering reassurances as my sobs start to ebb. He tilts my face up toward his and wipes my face once more with his thumbs. “Do you want talk about it?”

  I shake my head and lower my face again, trying to hide my emotions.

  “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry that happened to you, but that was all on him. I’ve never been more sexually satisfied in my life than I am with you. Don’t let that dickhead have this type of power over you. Honestly, I’m kind of glad that moron didn’t know what he had in you because now you’re mine.” He kisses my temple.

  We sit in silence for a few minutes—me curled into Tanner’s chest and him stroking my back in a soothing rhythm.

  “Do you think that you could forgive me? It was really just a joke… A stupid one, but still a joke.”

  I look up to take in his face for the first time since he walked into the bathroom, and I can see the distress written all over it. The same distress is also visible in his slumped posture.

  “It hurts,” I tell him. “To hear you call me a name that he called me pulls me back to that place I’ve been fighting so hard to break out of.” I know that he didn’t mean anything by it, but it still stings.

  “I know, baby, and I can’t tell you how awful I feel. I don’t ever want to cause you pain. I want to be the reason you smile and thrive,” he says with sincerity.

  “I know,” I whisper, and I do. I know that his words weren’t intentional.

  “Do you think you could forgive me?” he asks again.

  “Yes. I’m sorry that I pushed you.”

  “That’s okay. I deserved it,” he says, a renewed lightness in his voice. “Do you still want to go out?”

  “Yes, I don’t want to let Jason ruin our weekend of fun.”

  “Okay, come on. Let’s go let Quinn and Alex know that I’ve groveled properly and you’ve forgiven me.” He smiles at me, and I can’t help but laugh.

  **********

  After I recover from my breakdown, we all head out to Staten Island for dinner. The restaurant, Vincenzo’s, is small and intimate, more elegant than your regular pizza joint but not quite fine dining. It’s a comfortable family place with a uniquely Tuscan décor in greens, purples and blues, not like your run-of-the-mill Italian place. I decide that I like its out-of-the-box feel.

  Everyone tries to pretend nothing happened back at the condo, but my mind is still reeling. I try to shut it all out and enjoy myself, and I’d thought I was doing a pretty good job, but I’m pretty sure everyone knows I’m still upset.

  Quinn and Alex banter back and forth like brother and sister, which is gross since they screwed the hell out of each other once. Well, once as far as I know. I’m so envious of Quinn. She’s always completely comfortable in her own skin. You’d think that things would be weird between her and Alex after being each other’s booty calls, but it seems like just the opposite. It’s as though they’ve been friends forever. All the awkwardness in the restaurant tonight is coming from me. I can’t help it, though. My insecurities have come back in full force.

  After dinner, we head to the sports lounge. We sit at a high table in the middle of the hustle and bustle. Apparently, it’s playoff time for baseball. The Yankees are playing the Sox, which of course has drawn a crowd. From what I’ve pieced together from the conversations buzzing around us, it’s an important game. I think the winner of the series goes onto the next round or to the World Series or some shit I don’t really care about. The guys watch the game during the lulls in conversation, which there seem to be a lot of. My mind is elsewhere, and I’m missing all the cues to my part of the conversation.

  “Excuse me,” I say, standing up to head to the bathroom, anything to break up the discomfort. I feel as if everyone is waiting for me to crumple again, and I think they might be right to. I know I’ve said that I forgive Tanner, but the truth is, it isn’t about forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t
erase the memory of his words. Forgiveness doesn’t make them unspoken.

  “I need the restroom, too,” Quinn says, standing to follow me.

  “You guys already know who has the bigger dick. I’m sure that you’ve compared notes,” Alex says.

  “Today, we compare girth,” she fires back. I let out a laugh.

  “Compare away. I’m sure I’ll win that too.” Alex flashes a cocky smile.

  “No shame, sugar. No shame.” Quinn shakes her head.

  Being that ninety percent of the bar’s patrons are male, there’s no line for the ladies room, meaning it takes no time for Quinn to get me inside and corner me for an interrogation.

  “How long are you going to let the pity party last?” she asks, leaning toward the mirror to wipe away some smudged eyeliner from under her eyes.

  “Bite me, Quinn. I’m in no mood for your comments tonight.”

  “Wow, bitchy much?”

  “Excuse me, I’m sorry. I think I have the right to be bitchy considering my best friend helped the villagers orchestrate my public humiliation tonight.”

  “Could you be more melodramatic? We were just messing with you, and it went too far. Everyone apologized. Let it go.”

  “Fuck you. Don’t dismiss my feelings just because I didn’t find what you guys did funny. You don’t see me making fun of your commitment-phobia, do you? I’ve always had your back, and tonight your fun and games went way beyond cool and straight to degrading. I’ve never felt worse than tonight. It was one thing to hear it from Jason, but hearing it come from Tanner, joke or not, is on a whole other level, and you helped take it there. So excuse me if ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” I turn to the door, leaving a gob-smacked Quinn alone in the bathroom.

  I storm down the hall to head back to the table, but stop dead in my tracks when I see what’s going on there. A woman stands in my spot, her giant, obviously-fake boobs, pressed up against Tanner while he signs the jersey she’s wearing—a jersey that is about twelve sizes too small for her. The hand that she’s not practically groping my boyfriend with flips her shiny blonde hair over her shoulder as she leans even closer, pressing her boobs further toward his face. He grins devilishly at whatever shit she’s saying.