"When the time comes to finish reading Dad's will, when you are left out, how will you feel?" Sandy asked. "I know I'm gonna feel so bad for you, Letty. I want you to have your share."
"Don't worry about me. I feel like I did the right thing. Just you two wait. You are both still singled and the men will be at your porch like dogs in heat. They'll swear they love you. They'll want you alright, for the money. I've seen it happen to models who do the big time gigs. Men fall all over them. I don't need that. I don't want that happening to me. I've always made my own way since I've been grown and I'm proud of it. Dad earned that money, not me. I want no part of it."
"But you'd never have to worry again."
"I don't worry now."
"But some day you'll be too old to model, you've said that yourself. Then what will become of you?"
"Leave her alone, she's convinced she's martyring herself for Hank. She's bound to see how useless it all is, soon. Of course it will be too late, because she didn't live up to Dad's expectations. He only wanted a year out of our lives, that's not too much to ask." Wendy's voice was full of frustration.
"You don't get it, Wendy. I don't want his money. I want mine," Letty cried and left the room. "Don't you see, so many people are looking at us like we are spoiled little rich girls? Like we are just sitting out here waiting to collect our money before we go our way. I mean, yeah, at first I thought, alright, I'm going to be rich. But that was before I realized what it would mean to be rich. Problem is, I'll always be a McKay. Even if I am the black sheep of the family."
"You're not the black sheep, you are just stubborn." Sandy smiled.
***
Unable to make her sisters see, Letty left the house. She glanced about. She saw no one. About to leave, she looked toward the barn and something made her walk down there. As though something pulled her to walk down there. It wasn't the chance to see Hank, nor Caleb, it was something else, something she couldn't explain.
She wasn't sure why she was here, but there was no one around and suddenly Thunder reared his head.
Letty smiled. Thunder had brought her here.
"Hello boy, long time no see." Letty petted his forehead.
The horse nudged her with his nose.
"Would you let me ride you?" she whispered in his ear.
The horse neighed.
"Let's do it, boy," she encouraged.
She managed to get the saddle on him and cinch it, but not without hurting her arm. She ignored the slight pain inching up her arm.
This moment was important to her. No one understood what she was doing and she felt as though no one cared. Escaping from them all was the only answer right now.
But she was wrong. Caleb came just about the time she opened the barn door and slid herself atop Thunder.
"What are you doin'?" he asked in a furious voice.
"I'm going to ride Thunder. Please, Caleb, just leave me alone," she cried and whipped the horse into a fast pace.
"Girl, you are gonna get yourself killed."
"Please, let me do this. Don't call a search party. Just leave me alone," Letty cried.
"Do you have any idea what you are doin'?" he demanded.
"Yes, I do…"
He shook his head. "This ain't right."
"Caleb, I want to ride Thunder."
Caleb looked deep into her eyes, searching for some answers and finally he nodded slowly.
Letty smiled. "Thanks."
She felt the wind whip her hair, she felt the horse manage a pace, but still kept her in place. She breathed the evening air and heard Caleb yell at her from behind.
"Darn fool kid, you're gonna get yourself busted up again," he yelled.
Letty waved over her shoulder at him. "Don't worry."
Letty was at last in her own element and free from everyone.
Maybe it was impulsive, maybe it was not the right thing to do, but suddenly in her heart she knew it was the only thing to do. And for the first time, Thunder was permitting her a ride.
At first they rode fast and furious, and then suddenly Thunder slowed and she began to enjoy the ride. "Good boy, I knew we could do this…"
***
But despite everything Caleb was distraught over Letty riding Thunder.
When Hank stopped by to make sure everything was secure for the night, Caleb was fidgeting in the barn, and he found him talking to himself.
"She don't know what she's doin'. Fool kid," Caleb murmured as though to himself.
"What are you talking about, Caleb, what's got you so flustered?" Hank asked as he came around to look at the old man.
"She's gonna kill herself, that's what she's gonna do…" Caleb said as though still talking to himself.
"Who is…what are you talking about?"
"Letty!" He suddenly seemed to realize that Hank was in the barn.
"Letty, what about her?" Hank grabbed Caleb's shoulders and made him face him squarely. "Where is she?"
"She rode off, a while ago, on Thunder…" Caleb said, tears in his eyes.
"Don't fret, I'll find her," Hank reassured the old man. He'd never seen the man so upset.
"She's on Thunder. I told her not to do it. She knows better."
"Don't worry. I'll find her and bring her back." Hank was hitching his horse and trying to placate the old man at the same time. "She'll be alright."
"You get her, Hank," Caleb cried as Hank rode in the direction Caleb pointed.
For nothing would he tell the old man how upset he was. And he planned to give Letty a hard talking to when he found her. She knew better. But all the scoldings he was rehearsing disappeared when he found no sign of her.
That's when he put his tracking skills into high gear. Thunder had a distinct shoeing that none of the other horses had received because he was considered still wild. It was one way Cade and Wade had managed to keep up with his antics. Thunder, like Letty, was a free spirit and prone to escape the confines as often as possible. Many nights they had tracked him through the hills around the ranch.
When his own horse tired, he stopped by a stream and let him drink. All the while his heart pounded in fear he might find Letty in some gulley, dead.
The tracks were pretty good, but the light was fading and before long it would be dark and then he couldn't track her as well.
He pushed his horse onward and went at a slow but steady pace, following the tracks that Thunder provided, until darkness set in.
He stopped, watered his horse again, and rested. He scanned the horizon for a fire maybe in the woods. If Letty were alive, surely she would have a fire going somewhere.
The thought that she might not be alive, that she might be dying in some gully about the place had him wanting to move on. But he wanted to take the time to listen to, to hear if Thunder was moving, and if she might be calling for help somewhere.
The night brought the crickets and frogs out. An owl hooted in the distance, but there were no sounds of a human being alive.
Hank wrestled with his own guilt. How could he have let this happen? He loved the woman, he would always love her, even if he couldn't have her. When a man loved a woman, he had an obligation to see after her, take care of her. Instead, he'd practically ignored Letty for some time. Oh, it hadn't been easy. Every day his thoughts centered on her, and his reasoning failed at finding a solution for his misery. He'd trained himself to think he had to keep his distance from her, and he had.
He'd kill Thunder himself if that horse hurt her. That was a done deal. And he'd never let himself love another woman. Never.
Women upset the natural order of things, flustering a man.
It was nearly dawn when he heard a noise. He had fallen asleep by the fire he made and was rubbing his face, trying to get a grip on where he was, when Thunder rode into his camp and Letty straddled him.
"Well, hello," she called, surprised to see him out in the woods at this time of day, the sun hadn't even peaked over the horizon yet.
So relieved to see her a
live, he didn't bother acting mad at first. He needed to get over the shock that she was alive and well.
"Out skirting the woods with Thunder, I see," Hank said, trying to act as though he weren't relieved. As though he were shocked to see her alive.
"We had a magnificent ride." Letty smiled, and petted Thunder once more. "He actually let me ride him, Hank. Can you believe it?"
Hank stared at her, wanting to take her into his arms and never let her go, but again realizing that it wasn't wise.
He swallowed hard. "Good for you?"
"What are you doing out here?" she asked as she slid from the horse.
"Fixing to ride fence," he replied, turning away from her.
"This time of the morning? I never realized you were up so early." She smiled. "Got any coffee."
"Not made, got some in my saddle bag."
"Great, I'll fix us some, if you've got the time that is." She paused to look at him.
He nodded, woodenly. He didn't know how to respond to her this morning. He had been so sure she was injured or dying, and to see her standing there as though nothing happened made him angry and frustrated.
"You're not a morning person I take it." She chuckled as she went to get the coffee.
"Guess not…"
She walked to the stream and brought back water, then proceeded to make the coffee. He still hadn't said much to her.
"I became a morning person when I took that job in town. I found out if I wanted to get anything done, I had to get up and do it before I went to work," she announced as though they were talking about the weather.
She sat down on a stump and stared at him.
"I did it, you know…" She smiled.
"Did what?"
"Rode Thunder. Something made me go down to that barn to see him. And when I walked in, I knew it was him. He was a little scary at first, but then he settled out and let me enjoy the ride," she said as though she were proud of herself. "Caleb was worried. But he finally let me go once he saw I was determined to do it. I hope he didn't tell Cade or Wade; that would be embarrassing."
"You scared the old man to death." Hank gritted his teeth to keep his anger and frustrations from spilling out all at once.
Letty stood up. "I did? I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to worry him."
"You ride off on a wild horse, that everyone has told you to leave alone, and you don't understand him being upset. Not to mention that if Cade or Wade, either one found out about this the old man might not have a job any longer." Hank came towards her now, his face a storm of emotions.
Tears welled in Letty's eyes, but they didn't spill. "I'm sorry, I guess I didn't think of anyone else."
"You sure as hell didn't." He frowned into her face.
"Let's get back. I don't want Caleb fired for this…" she insisted.
"Fine…" Hank dumped the coffee she had poured him and climbed on his horse in one fluid movement.
He looked down at the flustered woman that turned his insides to fire and for a brief moment he almost caved in and took her into his arms. Still, he couldn't do that. She had done wrong and he needed to make that clear to her.
Slowly, she mounted and they rode in silence back to the ranch. He was so tense from not being able to hold her, love her, but she had to know how serious this was. She had to learn she couldn't run off like that. And someday maybe, she'd find out how worried he had been and how relieved…
As they rode all the way to the barn, she hopped down quickly and opened the door. Caleb was there and the minute he saw her, he took her in his arms. "Damn girl, you scared the death out of me."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…" she began.
"I'm just so danged glad you're okay."
"You didn't tell Cade and Wade?" she asked with tears in her eyes.
"No…but I was gonna if Hank hadn't showed up when he did," Caleb informed her. "They'd need to know something like this. It's their job to know."
Letty turned to look at Hank who was putting their horses into the stalls. "Good thing Hank was riding fence, then, wasn't it?"
"Riding fence?" Caleb coughed and looked at Hank.
"Riding fence," Hank repeated and stared into the old man's eyes.
"Guess it was…yeah, I guess it was…" Caleb tried to laugh.
Hank sent Caleb a slight smile and glanced at Letty. "Glad you were okay."
"Thanks…" Letty said, the hurt Hank had inflicted for not showing any response was clearly mirrored on her beautiful face.
"I'm tired. I guess I'll go home now," Letty managed in a weak voice. Touching Caleb's arm, she smiled sadly. "And thanks for not saying anything."
"Just don't do that again," Caleb scolded playfully. "Scared me out of ten years, girl."
"At least you cared…" she said and glanced one last time at Hank's retreating figure.
Hank heard her and his body slumped, carrying the burden of loving her and not being able to show it.
Caleb opened his mouth to say something but then shut it.
Chapter Fifteen
"You just gonna let her think you don't give a darn?" Caleb fussed a few days later.
"Easier for her this way." Hank shrugged.
"Maybe, maybe she'll stop caring so much now that she thinks you don't care about her at all. Is that what you want?" Caleb nudged Hank in the ribs as he passed.
Carrying a saddle, Hank threw it on the ground.
"Of all the people here, I thought you'd understand this. Of course I love her. Of course I want to be with her, take care of her, marry her even, but what can I offer her?"
"You can offer what every woman wants, your heart. It's downright cruel to not let her know how you really feel, Hank. Letty really loves you. I thought you would at least see that when she moved out of here. She gave up a fortune for you, don't you know that?"
"I didn't ask her to. I didn't want her to. I don't know what got into her moving away like that."
"You got into her, that's what. She loves you, you big dope," Caleb fumed. "What's holdin' you back now? She's already lost the money. She couldn't have done anything better to prove how she feels. But you…"
"Dammit Caleb, I want her more than anything in this world. But if there is any chance of her getting the money, I want her to have it. She's a McKay for God's sake. I don't want to be the man she gives everything up for. I want her so bad I can't think straight any more. I can't do my job right. I think about her all the time, Caleb. She's got me in knots."
Caleb smiled. "Then it looks like your tellin' the wrong person…don't it."
Hank leaned against the stall. "If you was her father, what would you think of a regular cowboy wanting her?"
"Depends on what you mean by wanting her, son."
"I want to marry her. That's what you do when you love a woman. Make her mine. I'm just scared I can't keep her happy."
"Can you be true to her, love her, and always take care of her?"
"Of course, that part's easy."
"Then if I was her father, I'd say that's all a father can really ask of a son-in-law."
Hank pushed his hat back. "Easy for you to say, you aren't rich like her real father."
Caleb shook his head. "Maybe I'm not, son. But if I knew a man loved her as much as I know you love her, I'd be more than satisfied, because love…is what life is about."
Hank thought about that a moment.
Caleb put his arm on Hank's shoulder. "There's nothin' better than the love of a good woman. She just gave up a fortune for you, don't that tell you anything?"
"Caleb, we haven't even dated."
"Then I'd say it's about time you did." Caleb chuckled.
***
It was two-thirty in the afternoon; Letty walked home and couldn't wait to put her feet up. She was tired, but more than that she was hurting.
She'd given up a fortune in the gamble that Hank cared for her. Clearly he didn't. That morning she had rode into his camp, he barely acknowledged the danger she'd been in. If that did
n't speak volumes, nothing did. So she'd tried to put him in the back of her mind forever. Only it didn't work. There wasn't a moment she didn't think about him, dream about the future they could have had.
Giving up her inheritance really didn't bother her. She didn't need that security. She had a good education, she had new friends, and her sisters, although they didn't understand her, loved her.
At times like these she missed her father. What kind of loving wisdom would he give her to make her heal?
She unlocked her door and without even thinking she went to get the foot bath she used every day to sooth her feet. She filled it with hot water and then put it in front of her favorite rocking chair along with a towel. She left the front door open, at least it had a screen.
She sighed heavily as she leaned back and closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was soak her feet and forget about love and loving.
But when someone picked her foot up and began messaging it, her eyes popped wide open.
"W-where did you come from?" she demanded as Hank stroked her foot so heavenly.
"Saw you almost limping home…" he said softly, his eyes going all over her. "And you left your door open."
"What do you think you are doing?" she asked, pulling the uniform of her dress between her legs.
"I'm massaging your feet; don't they hurt?" he asked.
"Yes…It feels wonderful, but you don't have to do that," she started to object. "How did you get in?"
"I guess you were so tired you left it open…" He gestured to the door.
He raised a hand. "I think I do have to do this…Now relax and enjoy it. I don't offer this kind of service very often."
"Hank, I don't understand. What are you doing here?"
"Jesus used to wash feet, you know?" He smiled at her.
"Y-yes, I know."
"I can see why," he murmured.
"Uh…yes, so can I…" She watched him take the other foot and message it. "Why aren't you at work?"
Ring of Fire Page 15
