Skin

by Ilka Tampke

  Fraid called us to depart.

  Llwyd caught my wrist. His grip was strong. ‘All the power of the tribes rests in knowledge and freedom. The Kendra must protect them.’

  ‘But I will not be Kendra, Journeyman!’ I whispered, suddenly frightened by the gravity of his charge. Was there wrongness in this? I was unskinned. Was I falsely chosen?’

  ‘You will be Kendra.’

  ‘How can you know it?’

  ‘You have the Kendra’s heart.’

  Our wisepeople are spiders, weaving order from the chaos that would otherwise consume us.

  WE APPROACHED MAI CAD as the sun turned crimson. The hill reared from the lowlands, its walls wrapping around the slopes, like the Mothers’ finger. This was said to be Albion’s largest, most splendid hillfort. Only when we were climbing the paths of the eastern entrance did we see the dizzying depths of the ditches and the sheer-faced height of the walls.

  When our horses were stabled and we had washed in the guesthouse, we were led to the Tribeking’s Great House. His servant told us that the other tribal heads were not expected until tomorrow morning. Tonight, we three alone would meet with Cun.

  The Great House was lined with torches and well-shined weapons. Durotrigan banners of war hung from the walls and a full cauldron of fragrant stew simmered over the fire. At the strong place sat a dark, well-muscled man, wearing the thick torque of a king. Cun. But where were his wisemen? His warriors?

  There was one other with him, whom I had not expected to see: Ruther. My instincts sharpened. Why was he here?

  His eyes widened when he saw me. It seemed he, too, was unaware that we were to meet, although he did not betray this surprise when he bowed to kiss my fingers and to greet me as a high guest. Our eyes met for a moment and I wondered if the others in the room could feel the ribbons of energy that spun between us.

  ‘This is a great surprise, Ruther.’ Fraid’s voice was guarded. ‘How is it that you have come?’

  ‘I bring knowledge of the campaign and—’ he glanced at Cun. ‘I have met with men of the legions.’

  ‘The Romans themselves?’ said Fraid. ‘You are at the heart of things.’

  Cun shifted in his seat as we all took ours. It was clear that Ruther did not have his trust.

  I was introduced to Cun as the servant poured us cups of strong ale. ‘And who are you to be brought here so young?’ Cun asked me. ‘Do they train statecraft at the tit nowadays?’

  ‘She is as yet untrained,’ said Fraid slowly. ‘We think she may be knowledge-gifted to the Kendra.’

  ‘The Kendra?’ Cun raised his eyebrows. ‘I have not known one since my boytime. This will hearten the warriors.’

  Ruther’s stare bore into the side of my face as Cun described the attack to Fraid. ‘The landing at Cantia was unopposed,’ he said, a tendon twitching in his throat.

  ‘Where was Caradog?’ asked Fraid, shocked.

  ‘He withdrew his men after the mutiny,’ said Ruther. ‘The legions took him by surprise.’

  ‘But he rallied to meet them at the Medway,’ said Cun. ‘The Romans were greater in number—thousandfold—but Caradog held them for two days in the wetlands. The tribesmen knew the riverways, but Plautius brought warriors from Gaul, trained in water crossings. In the end, Plautius scraped together a feeble victory.’ Cun spat on the floor. ‘Though the Romans call it glorious, as Togodumnus is dead.’

  ‘And Caradog?’ asks Fraid.

  ‘In retreat,’ said Ruther. ‘Though he gathers forces among those who have not submitted. The Romans now send two forces. One northward—’ he paused, ‘—the other westward. Flavius Vespasian heads the legion that is moving west—at least ten thousand men. ’

  Fraid inhaled. ‘It could take years for a campaign of that size to reach the western tribes.’

  ‘We should send fighters to Caradog now,’ said Cun, ‘to halt the advance before it comes too far.’

  Fraid shook her head. ‘The strength of Durotriga has always been our independence. I will not invite attack by joining against them unprovoked.’

  ‘And when they arrive,’ pressed Cun, ‘will you defend?’

  Fraid lowered her cup, her knuckles white. ‘What is the thinking of the tribes, Ruther?’ she asked. ‘The Regni? The Belgae?’

  ‘Eleven kings have pledged their loyalty. Now they strengthen Plautius’s forces through their knowledge of rivers and trackways,’ said Ruther.

  ‘Others have fought,’ said Cun.

  ‘And?’ said Fraid.

  ‘None have succeeded in it,’ said Ruther.

  Fraid leaned back, colourless even in the fire’s warm light. It was the first time I understood the weight she must bear.

  ‘Ruther, you have seen it,’ she said. ‘In truth, how strong is this army?’

  ‘Their strength cannot be overstated,’ said Ruther. ‘They fight in a manner most unlike our own. It is not simply courage they call on, but strategy. They work as one force. A greater force than brute strength.’ He paused.

  ‘Speak on.’ Cun frowned.

  ‘The mind of their fighting men is quite other than ours. They do not fight to display their own courage. There is no battleglory for one man alone. Each is committed, above all else, to the glory of their commander.’

  ‘What kind of fighters are these?’ smirked Cun. ‘Driven by mindless obedience. That does not sound like a strong army, but one fuelled by fear.’

  ‘Exactly so,’ said Ruther. ‘They are trained to fear their commander more than their enemy.’

  ‘I do not fear Vespasian,’ said Cun. ‘The warriors of Durotriga are the fiercest in Britain.’

  ‘And man against man we will always beat them,’ said Ruther. ‘It is not courage in question. They fight in perfect unity of style and dress, with short swords behind large shields. One beast instead of many. Our weapons are useless against a wall of their shields. And they are well armoured. They make jokes of our robeless warriors and call them children—’

  Llwyd raised his hand to silence him. ‘Our warriors fight naked to draw of the forces in the earth beneath them. Their courage is sacred. These Roman ways are without spirit.’

  ‘There are spirits enough when they drink to their victories,’ said Ruther.

  I flinched at his disrespect.

  ‘Enough, Ruther,’ said Fraid.

  Ruther sipped his ale.

  My thoughts sped.

  As he set down his cup, Cun’s forearm clenched thick and hard as a taproot. ‘We will gather an army that will make them soak their skirts—’

  ‘Or?’ said Fraid, interrupting gently. ‘What do you advise, Ruther?’

  Ruther paused. ‘I have spoken of it before, and it was not well heard. Plautius pursues a peaceful presence and offers an alliance. A friendship that preserves the tribes, that strengthens them. Many are taking the offer. It would bring us benefits.’

  Without warning there were words on my tongue. ‘Though far fewer benefits than it brings to Rome.’

  All eyes turned to me. Ruther looked be
mused.

  My heart pounded. I glanced to Fraid and she nodded me to continue. ‘Is the knowledge of the journeypeople upheld under Roman friendship?’

  Llwyd smiled at my weight on the word.

  Ruther paused before answering, holding my gaze. ‘The journeymen are not well loved by the Romans.’

  ‘But if Durotriga submits, as you are suggesting—’ my voice quavered. ‘Do we uphold the journeypeople’s learning?’

  Ruther’s lip twitched. ‘It would not be to our benefit to do so.’

  ‘So we lose both our freedom and our knowledge.’

  A flash of anger crossed Ruther’s face. Then it was gone and he softened, speaking as if only he and I were in the room. ‘Do not fear change, Ailia,’ he said, ‘not one so alive as you. The invasion comes. If we cannot hold it back then let us shape it to our gain.’

  ‘And what of the Kendra, should she become known,’ I continued. ‘Will she be honoured under Roman law?’

  Ruther met my eye. ‘She would not.’

  ‘There are warriors waiting beyond this door who would knife you for these words, tribesman,’ said Cun.

  Ruther turned to him. ‘Then tell them to think of the solstice wheel,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ scoffed Cun. ‘I am in no mood for riddles.’

  Ruther leaned forward, wiping ale from his thick blond moustache. ‘It is forward motion that keeps the wheel upright as it rolls burning down the hill. When it stops, it falls, and its flames are extinguished. We are as the wheel. And this invasion is the ground before us. If we do not roll forward, our fire ceases and we will fall.’

  ‘A pretty image,’ said Llwyd. ‘But what if you told them of the oak. Life in its most sacred form. The seasons turn around it, the winds shake its branches, but it remains still, its roots fixed in the ground.’ He looked at me. ‘Which is stronger, Ailia, the wheel or the oak?’

  I had no answer, compelled equally by each image.

  ‘We are neither trees nor wheels,’ said Cun, shaking his head. ‘And we have never been under anybody’s rule. Even when the Great Bear took the tribes on three sides of us, we remained untouched.’

  Ruther gave a resigned snort. ‘Do not worry. Our dissent is well known to the Romans,’ he said. ‘It is the very thing that will incite them to subdue us.’

  ‘Then let them come.’ Cun stood. ‘You make your choice, Fraid. Every man of Mai Cad will die fighting before I kiss the feet of the pigs.’

  ‘And so they shall,’ said Ruther.

  Talk of Rome was put aside until the meeting of heads on the morrow. Tempers were soothed by Cun’s rich beef and turnip stew, dark ale and vulgar jokes. The meal lasted late into the night.

  I sat between Fraid and Llwyd, saying little and growing exhausted.

  Ruther’s eyes had barely left me, and when I stepped outside the Great House to cool my face in the autumn night, he was swiftly at my side. ‘Ailia, I would speak with you.’

  ‘Then walk with me for a while,’ I said, ‘I need air.’

  We turned down one of the wide and unfamiliar streets.

  ‘Why did you not see me in Cad?’ he demanded. ‘I asked of you.’

  ‘There has been too much afoot,’ I answered in truth. ‘I am to go to the Isle.’

  ‘Impressive. And without skin.’ He shook his head in disbelief. ‘Did I not pick you for the temple when first we met? And I was your fire-lover!’

  ‘Hush.’ I smiled.

  The house beside us was noisy with babe-cry and the dog at its threshold growled as we passed. In truth, it was a relief to be with someone who treated me as he always had. ‘I cannot believe that I will go to the temple,’ I whispered, taking his arm.

  ‘And then?’

  ‘And then…’ I hesitated. ‘I will serve Summer as journeywoman.’ The words felt foreign. ‘And if, somehow, I learn of my skin—’ I paused; it still felt unutterable, ‘—I will train to be Kendra.’

  ‘A very ancient wisdom,’ said Ruther. ‘It has served a long time.’ He glanced at me. ‘Is it the best pathway now to take?’

  I stopped and turned to him. ‘Do you speak against your history?’

  ‘I love my history as deeply as any tribesman. It is the future of which I now speak.’ He stepped forward so that our faces were close. ‘I have known since we lay at Beltane that you had a great strength. When you train, it will be even greater. Then you must decide how to use it.’

  I looked at him in shock. ‘It is foretold how I shall use it.’

  He pulled me by the hand and led me through a narrow passage between two houses. Before us was the township’s wall. We hoisted ourselves up and sat, our feet overhanging the plummeting ditch, looking out at the grain fields before us. The moon glowed at half strength behind drifting rags of clouds and I shivered in the wind.

  Ruther unpinned his cloak and wrapped it around me. It was thicker and heavier than mine, scented with leather, sweat and smoke. He shifted closer until our shoulders were touching. ‘What if I were to offer you marriage?’

  I almost laughed. ‘Do you forget I am unskinned?’

  ‘That is no obstacle to me,’ he said. ‘I will have you unskinned.’

  ‘But no such marriage could be rightly made,’ I said, incredulous, ‘without the blessing of my totem.’ While Taliesin breathed, I would not marry Ruther, yet still his boldness intrigued me.

  ‘It will have to survive on my blessing alone.’ The moon shone on his pale hair.

  ‘You honour me,’ I said, ‘but it is no longer my question to answer. I am to be given to the temple and then to service…’ Still I did not confess that there was another.

  ‘Is this your choice then?’ His voice was sharp.

  ‘It is not my choice to make.’

  ‘But it is your choice, Ailia. Do not be commanded by others. If you do not desire the journeywoman’s life then speak it so and take a different way.’

  ‘There is no other way.’ His words were unsteadying me.

  ‘You could have a place beside me, Ailia. My family is powerful in Cad. The Romans will talk to me…they have talked to me.’ He paused. ‘They offer great reward to those who receive them well. With our strengths united, there is no barrier to what we may build together—’

  I stared at him in horror. ‘Are you saying you are in league with the Empire?’

  ‘I am in league with what is inevitable. Cad cannot hold back the Empire, nor can Cun. No one can. For the well-eyed among us, it need not be feared. I will need a woman beside me, a woman to whom the people will listen. I already have the trust of Rome and you will keep the trust of the tribes.’

  I shook off his hands. ‘As if they would listen to me in this—’

  ‘Do you not understand? You have a gift. The journeymen think you are called to be Kendra—but it is something far less shrouded in mystery. It is the gift of leadership. An allure, a natural wisdom that others will follow. The men of Rome who possess it rise to Consul or Emperor.’

  I was spun beyond speaking. The Kendra’s call was no mere gift. It was a cry from the Mothers. Und
eniable. ‘This is desecration,’ I said.

  ‘By some, yes, but true nonetheless. Ailia, I love you and I am choosing you. I can offer you a great deal. Consider your decision.’

  I reeled from his words, from his love. ‘You ask me to deny what has always been.’

  ‘Nothing remains the same. Is that not the first lesson of the journeypeople? Change will happen. The great among us will ride it like a chariot.’

  ‘Stop. You are speaking against the truth of our wisepeople. The truth of the Mothers.’

  ‘The Mothers are revered by those who have not seen what men can do. It is not the hidden forces, Ailia, that strengthen us—it is our own forces.’

  But were they not the same force? That which was hidden in the rivers and trees, and that which moved through us as breath and blood? How could they be separated? How could one be greater than the other?

  The stars above us began to sway and the wall itself seemed to lurch beneath me. I braced my hands on the stone for balance.

  Ruther sat solid as iron beside me. How tempting it was to yield to the assuredness he offered. To be part of his certainty.

  The other way I was alone. The strength I needed would have to be mine.

  That night I dreamed of Taliesin.

  He was calling to me across a river of stones, his face in bright sun. My feet were bare and the stones were jagged. As I ran to him, I slipped on my own blood.

  My heart bashed me awake and I lay in the strange bed at Mai Cad, unable to find sleep for the brightness of his face in my memory.

  I thought of the two men who had entered my cosmos.