Bound to Ecstasy

by Vonna Harper, P. F. Kozak

“Are we trying to get pregnant? I mean, today’s at least the third time since you’ve been back that we haven’t used a condom,” she explained when he opened his eyes and looked at her.

  “I thought about that, too. I know we said we’d wait, but what do you think about trying to get pregnant now? I’d love to see our baby growing inside of you.”

  Chloe smiled tenderly. “I want that, too,” she said and lifted her mouth for his kiss.

  “So, it’s settled then,” Logan whispered against her lips. “We’re going to try for our first baby. No more birth control.”

  8

  Logan rose from his chair as he watched his mother follow the maitre d’ to his table. He tried not to show his concern as she moved gracefully through the room, her strawberry blond hair bouncing softly as she walked. She had recently fought off a bad case of the flu and, already small and delicate, she’d lost weight she couldn’t afford to lose. None of these thoughts showed on his face as he hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Hi, Mom,” he said and pulled her chair out. “You look good.”

  “Oh, I look terrible, and you know it,” Madeline Carnegie chastised with a playful frown as she studied him. He had her eyes and his father’s hair, coloring, and build. She couldn’t have been more pleased. “But no need to worry,” she murmured and looked in his eyes. “I get better every day.” His eyes were practically sparkling with good cheer—so much so that she had to smile herself. “You look happy,” she commented.

  “Do I?” Logan asked with a quirk of his brow. “I suppose that can be attributed to the fact that I am,” he said with a smile.

  Madeline chuckled. She simply couldn’t help it; his smiles had always been contagious. She shook her head fondly when he remained quiet. “Well, are you going to tell me why, or are we going to play Twenty Questions?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing and everything. Both my professional and personal lives are right where I want them to be.”

  “Well, that’s wonderful, son,” Madeline told him. “What’s going on with work?” She decided to hold off talking about Chloe for as long as she could because discussions about her never ended well—at least not when Madeline was involved. She still believed that they should have gotten to know each other better before getting married.

  Logan knew that his mother not asking about Chloe was deliberate, and he decided to play along with her—for the time being. “Oh, work is going really well. I think we’re going to get the Cleveland job, so I’m excited about that.”

  “Congratulations in advance, then. Will it mean a lot of traveling for you?” Madeline tried not to frown in concern. If he were gone all the time, how were they going to make this fledgling marriage of theirs work, she wondered.

  “Yeah, I’d have to be in Cleveland at least weekly in the beginning to make sure things are going well on the site.”

  “And how does your new bride feel about this?”

  Logan shrugged. “Well, of course she wouldn’t be happy, but she understands. And besides, she could fly up sometimes if I’m ever gone too long.”

  “That’s true, I guess,” she agreed, but she still worried. “And is there anything else going on at work?”

  “Yeah. It turns out that the rumors about Mr. Carter retiring are actually true.”

  “Really?” Madeline asked and then smiled at the hovering waiter. She gave him her order without looking at the menu. She and Logan lunched there often. As Logan gave his order, she studied him some more. His father had wanted him to follow in his footsteps and go into advertising, but her boy had always liked working with his hands and she’d fought with his father in private about letting him do what he wanted to. He was her only child and all she wanted was his happiness. “Tell me more about this retirement,” she demanded when the waiter had left. “How do you know the rumor is true?”

  “Because Mr. Carter told me himself, that’s how. He says he’s retiring in the next year or so, and that I have a shot at the presidency.”

  “That’s great, Logan. Congratulations again. This is exciting news! Wait until I tell your father, oh, and that braggart Louise Anders! She’s always going on and on about how her son is the head of his division, but president of a national company by the age of thirty-two—you can’t beat that!”

  Logan laughed at her excitement. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mom. I’m not the only one in the running.”

  She dismissed his competition with a wave of her hand. “Oh, pshaw! Who else is up for it?”

  “Jamal Winston. He’s been at the company longer than I have, but we match up pretty well on just about everything else. I’m a little ahead of him when it comes to bringing in new business, but he is older by twelve years and you remember that I told you Carter is old school.”

  “Yes, but maybe you don’t have to worry about that so much. What can you do to pull yourself ahead of this Winston fellow?”

  “Nothing but what I’ve been doing—work hard and do my best.”

  “That’s right,” she said with an approving nod.

  Logan smiled. “You ready to hear about Chloe now?” he teased.

  Madeline flushed at being caught. She gave him an apologetic look. “Now, I like Chloe, Logan, you know I do. She’s a sweet girl.”

  “Yes I do, and yes, she is.”

  “But I just wish you two had waited to get to know each other better before you made such a huge commitment.”

  “We didn’t need to, Mom. We love each other,” Logan’s voice was firm and sure.

  “Yes, I know, but—”

  “But nothing, Mom,” Logan insisted. “You know I never do anything rash or stupid. You also know that I’ve always had the ability to know what I want when I see it. I’ve always known what was right for me. You know that’s true.”

  Looking into his eyes, Madeline had to admit that it was. “Yes, it is.”

  “Well, Chloe is right for me. I knew it almost the moment I saw her. So stop worrying about it so much, and be happy for me.”

  “I am happy for you, Logan.” Embarrassed, she was unable to look at him, so she looked down at the table. “It’s just that…”

  “What, Mom?” Logan put his hand over hers and she looked up at him.

  “Well, you eloped and I didn’t get to see my only child get married! That hurt, Logan. Deeply.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. Would it make you feel better to know that Chloe and I have been talking about planning a small ceremony for the fall?”

  Madeline’s smile was tremulous and sheepish. “I’m ashamed to say it, but yes it would. I know it’s selfish of me, but you’re my baby. I want to see you get married!”

  “Don’t worry. You will. Chloe’s dad isn’t too happy about missing out on walking his daughter down the aisle, either.”

  “I’ll bet,” Madeline said. “Why didn’t Chloe join us for lunch, by the way?”

  “She already had plans.”

  “I swear, Chloe, if I see that sappy smile of yours one more time today, I’m going to scream,” Liddy complained good-naturedly. “Why are you so damn happy? Cut it out, you’re making the rest of us poor slobs feel bad,” she teased.

  Chloe gave her another big, sappy grin. “I can’t help it,” she said with a shrug. “I am happy.”

  “What gives?” Liddy demanded and finished off her small salad. The two of them were having lunch before Chloe went in to work.

  Chloe smiled again, this time secretively. It had been a week and a half since she and Logan had decided they would have a baby. They tried for one every night and they had experimented with their new game on more than one of those nights. But all she said to Liddy was: “It’s just that Logan and I are so happy. I really love him, and it’s all thanks to your dragging me kicking and screaming to your office Christmas party.”

  “My pleasure. It never even occurred to me that you two would be a perfect match, but obviously you two knew right away.”

  “Yeah, we did,” Chloe stated softly. “So, thank you,” she fini
shed and reached across the table to pat Liddy’s hand.

  “Like I said. It was my pleasure. Logan’s a great guy and I’m so glad they hired me to work for him, instead of some of the other guys there.”

  “So you don’t miss teaching at all?” Chloe asked and could have bitten off her tongue when Liddy’s eyes grew sad. Idiot, she chastised herself and reached across the table for Liddy’s hand again. “I’m so sorry, Liddy. I don’t know why my brain wants to keep forgetting that you felt you had to leave teaching.”

  “Had to, or lose my sanity,” Liddy joked with a sad smile. She squeezed her cousin’s hand. “It’s okay though; I’m getting better about it.”

  “And everything else, too?” Chloe asked cautiously. She studied Liddy. She was a beautiful woman with big eyes the same color as her own. They’d gotten the color from their fathers, who were twins. Her cousin was five years older than she and Chloe had always looked up to her. She was the female voice Chloe had needed in her life since she’d never known her mother, who’d died after giving birth to her.

  “I’m trying,” Liddy said in answer to Chloe’s question. “That part is more difficult.”

  “I know, sweetheart,” Chloe commiserated with her. Liddy just looked so sad and Chloe wished that she could do something to make it better.

  Liddy tried to blink back her tears. “God, Chloe, it’s just so hard sometimes,” she whispered. “I miss them so much.”

  “Oh, baby,” Chloe said sympathetically and moved to the other side of the booth to hold her. Liddy’s husband and daughter had died in a car crash eighteen months before and she’d been struggling to get on with her life ever since. “It’ll get better, sweetheart,” Chloe whispered into Liddy’s hair. “It has to, damn it,” she said fervently. She’d loved Liddy’s husband like a big brother and her child like she’d been her own. But she didn’t love either of them as much as she loved her cousin and that’s who she cried for now. She looked up as the waitress came over.

  “Is everything all right, ladies?”

  Chloe’s lips twisted in ruefulness. Why did people ask stupid questions? “Yeah, just jim-dandy, honey,” she said sarcastically. “And how are things in your world?”

  The waitress sniffed and stomped away. But Chloe couldn’t be bothered. She felt Liddy’s shoulders shake. “It’s all right, sweetie,” she said and kissed her forehead. “Let it all out.”

  Liddy straightened away from her and Chloe could see that she was chuckling. She watched as Liddy wiped the tears from her cheeks and said, “I swear, Chloe, you are too much.” This observation was accompanied by a shake of her head.

  “What?” Chloe queried in pretended surprise.

  “You know what. We’ll be lucky if that girl doesn’t spit in our entrées.”

  “Humph, and then she’ll be lucky if I don’t kick her ass.”

  Liddy guffawed. “Go on and get up. Take your crazy behind back to the other side of the table. I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure?” Chloe asked with a worried frown.

  “Of course I am. Now go.” Liddy made shooing motions with her hands until Chloe got up. She continued to smile as Chloe sat down. “You always were like that.”

  “Like what?” Chloe asked as she put her napkin back in her lap.

  “A little, opinionated firecracker—the littlest one with the biggest and loudest opinion who always said what she felt and went after what she wanted.”

  Chloe smiled reminiscently. “I had to be, otherwise I’d have been trampled on—the small ones usually are. And you know my daddy always said that there’s no point in being shy with your feelings or your desires ’cause nobody will know unless you tell them.”

  “I’ll bet you Logan loves that about you, doesn’t he?”

  “If he knows what’s good for him; he’d better act like he does, even if he doesn’t,” Chloe said emphatically. She smiled when Liddy laughed some more, this time even harder. Okay, so maybe I can help, Chloe thought to herself, even if it’s just a little bit.

  “Tell me what else is going on with you,” Liddy said, “How is Uncle Robert?”

  “Oh, he’s fine. You know he’s on that trip to Europe right now, right?”

  “Oh, that’s right. Mom and Dad were just talking about it the other day. Daddy said that Uncle Robert was being a fool, gallivanting all around and spending his money like it was water.”

  Chloe laughed. “I’m not surprised, since Uncle Dave always did say that everything worth seeing is right here in the ‘good ole U.S. of A.’” Chloe laughed again because Liddy had repeated the old refrain with her.

  “Right,” Liddy said. “And Mama would come back with, ‘Um hm, Davie, and that’s why you’re gonna be an ignorant for the rest of your life.”

  “That’s right! I loved how she just changed the language to suit her purposes: ‘an ignorant.’ It’s priceless!”

  “Yeah, for Mom ‘ignoramus’ just wasn’t strong enough to capture what she was trying to say. He had to be ‘an ignorant’ or nothing!”

  Now Chloe was wiping tears from her cheeks. Her cousin was so good at imitating people and she sounded just like her mother. “God, Liddy, you should be on stage somewhere.”

  “Oh, whatever,” Liddy dismissed the compliment. “You and Logan should come over for Sunday dinner this week since your pops is out of town. Dad and Mom would love to see you.”

  Chloe smiled. Sunday dinner was a big deal in the Johnson family. When they were children, the families would get together every Sunday after church. She and Liddy were each an only child and Chloe had loved seeing her on Sundays, even though it was likely that they’d already seen each other at least twice during the week already. But Sundays were different. On Sundays, they’d spend all day in each other’s company and Chloe wouldn’t have to worry about outside interferences like school or friends. She’d have her cousin all to herself because it was rare that anybody else was invited. She sighed at the memories. “I’d love to come, Liddy. It will be fun. I don’t think Logan has anything planned.”

  “What about his parents’ house? Do you guys go there on Sundays?”

  “Sometimes, but it’s not a standing appointment. We’re more often at Daddy’s house for dinner.”

  “Oh, okay, great!”

  “Do you think Aunt Miranda will make her peach cobbler?”

  “All you have to do is ask her, and you know she will. Just like the rest of us, she loves to spoil you. You know that,” Liddy chided and smiled when a shameless, knowing grin crossed Chloe’s face. “So, what else is new?” she asked. “How’s work?”

  “Work is going well,” Chloe said and leaned forward excitedly. “I just love this new job!”

  “I’ll bet you do. I finally caught your act again. I TiVo’ed it. It’s good. You can tell a lot of thought and planning went into the programming.”

  “Thank you! We do our best and it’s one of those rare jobs: one I don’t mind getting up for in the morning. I really like the place. Life is so good, Liddy, that I have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

  Four hours later, Chloe was wishing something as simple as a pinch could wake her up because she felt like she was in the worst nightmare of her life. She sat frozen in her makeup chair, scared to the bone and paralyzed with indecision. “Everything was going so perfectly,” she whispered dazedly. “The children made their cues, we only had to do a few takes for each scene, and my husband wants to impregnate me, damn it,” she wailed. The confusing jumble of thoughts made her drop her head on her makeup table in despair.

  After a few minutes of this, she lifted her head. “Pull yourself together, Chloe. You can’t let Mary do this to you. You just can’t,” she reprimanded herself sternly.

  She’d walked off the set and into her dressing room with the idea of removing her makeup and checking her messages. It was her daily routine. The red message light on her phone wasn’t blinking, so she’d just taken off her makeup, breathing a sigh of relief becaus
e another day without hearing from Mary had gone by. She hadn’t heard from her once since that first day she’d called.

  As she’d been preparing to leave, she’d had the idea to check her cell phone for messages, just in case Logan had called her. The little display window had indicated that she’d had a voice message so she’d happily checked her voice mail. And that’s when she heard Mary’s voice. At first she’d been confused because she didn’t know how Mary could have possibly gotten her cell phone number. And then she’d gotten scared because Mary hadn’t beat around the bush in this message. Even now, at least thirty minutes later, she remembered the message word for word because she’d listened to it so many times.

  “All right, Chloe, I’ve given you all the time in the world to be nice and call me back, but you didn’t. So here I am, forced to call you again. This is how it’s going to be. I need money, Chloe, and you’re going to give it to me. I only need a couple of thousand to tide me over. If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone what you did when we were in school. You’ll probably lose your job. And I hear your new husband’s some big muckety-muck. Does he know what you did? This could mess up that picture-perfect life you have, couldn’t it?

  “Come on, Chloe. I’m only asking for ten thousand. You can afford it. Hell, you probably make that much in one month’s work. My deadbeat ex-husband is late with the child support again, and he never sends enough anyway, so now I’m reaching out to an old friend, that’s all. Look at it as one desperate girlfriend asking for help from her luckier, more prosperous friend. No biggie, right? You have until tomorrow to call me to find out where to bring the money. You know the number.”

  Chloe sighed. She stood and grabbed her things. He never sends enough anyway. That one comment kept going through her head. It weighed on her more than the entire rest of the message. Because that one comment told her that one payment to Mary would not be enough. She’d come back again and again for money, treating her like she was an ATM. Chloe turned off the lights in her dressing room and left, knowing exactly what she had to do.