Aftermath (The Deceptions Trilogy Book 2)
Page 16
“Do not hurt my family,” Jack said fearfully.
“Then don’t try anything stupid,” William replied. “Vivienne, your final instructions?” When Jack saw what she took out from her kit, his shoulders drooped in disappointment. And partly in fear.
“Your heroin,” she said and set the small bottle down on the ground along with a syringe and the rubber tourniquet.
“No,” Jack said, shaking his head.
“We won’t make you, Jack,” William said. “But when the withdrawals become too much, you may reconsider.” Vivienne put the drug paraphernalia in the bag that held the other medications. And with that, Vivienne and William left.
Jack needed something to occupy himself to keep from thinking of the heroin and he turned to the box to see what they were given to subsist on for a week. There was a Ziploc bag holding fourteen pieces of bread, a small container of peanut butter, seven protein bars, a plastic container of powdered milk, and seven cans of hash with a can opener. There were no dishes or utensils. He moved the box next to the head of the mat to keep it away from the buckets that would hold their waste.
Penny was still asleep. Jack took the small notebook Vivienne left and opened it. He spent the next hour reading, with a sick stomach, everything that had happened medically with Penny since they were abducted. Jack didn’t need to relive the torture Vivienne put Penny through that led to Russian Roulette but he found himself sickly interested in all the notes Vivienne made during the interrogation. He knew the experience harmed Penny but even Vivienne was surprised at how poorly her heart took the experience. Vivienne noted the relationship between the anorexia and heart problems.
Jack slowly shut the notebook and tucked it into the medication bag. His mind floated back to Penny and her anorexia. He learned of Penny’s eating disorder during their first finals week when the stress became too much and she nearly passed out on him and for a while afterwards, she seemed to get better. Eventually, the disease overcame her on two occasions but he was there for her. The third time, in the months preceding this hell they were now in, he chose to ignore the signs and his guilt was high over that.
He looked out the window. There was really nothing to see, just more trees and a few very early wildflowers, but at least he had a view. Jack breathed in the fresh air. It was the first time in over five months he breathed in fresh air and he did not mind the chill. The refreshing air energized him a bit and took his mind off of his guilt over Penny’s anorexia.
In all their years, Jack never understood the control the Terrible Voice had over Penny. No, that wasn’t correct. He understood how the anorexia controlled a person but what he couldn’t understand was how he could not get Penny to stop listening to the Terrible Voice. This actually made Jack feel like a failure. He cared for Penny so much but he could not fix this problem. He had made it better in the past but never fixed it.
Jack helped her in college when her father wouldn’t. She had moments of struggle over the next few years but it wasn’t until Millie went to rehab did Jack have to forcibly step in. They’d been in Arizona less than twelve hours getting Millie settled before landing back in Philadelphia. They walked into the house as the sun rose and the kids were waking. Both Jack and Penny were exhausted; first from the kids and a stomach bug that hit all but Ellie and then from the trip to Arizona and back. The house was a wreck but the kids were feeling much better. Crystal was miffed about her Big Apple trip being cut short but ultimately said it was good Millie was getting help.
Crystal wanted to spend the day with Jack and the kids starting nearly as soon as Jack walked in the door which left just Penny to clean up the entire house. Jack felt bad. He knew she was just as tired as he was plus he needed to talk to her about her weight. He was shocked at how thin she was and he knew she was struggling big time. Crystal could not be persuaded to change her plans and they did not return to the house until almost ten that night. The kids were cranky as was Crystal and even Jack felt testy. Three meals eaten out, shopping, the Discovery Museum, the movies and ice cream and Jack was beyond tired.
He was amazed the house sparkled. Penny must have worked nonstop to get the place spotless. There was even a note indicating she made a batch of chocolate chip kamish bread. Penny didn’t greet the family and Jack assumed she retired for the night. Crystal went up to their bedroom while Jack made sure the kids were all tucked away. He was desperate for sleep but Crystal had other plans. Jack couldn’t resist; it had been nearly three months since his last break from the tour and he missed being with her.
After their second go around, Crystal was fast asleep but Jack was so overly tired he could not drop off. He remembered the kamish bread and slipped downstairs to indulge. As he poured himself a glass of milk to go with his treat, he noticed the light on in the gym out back. He frowned. The kids had been with him and Crystal all day so this wasn’t an incident where they snuck into the gym when they weren’t supposed to and left the lights on. His heart raced as the thought of a burglar entered his mind but then he deemed that not right either since the studio side of the building was dark. That was the side that contained more valuable items to steal. Just in case, though, he grabbed his cell phone and the clichéd baseball bat and headed out into the frigid cold to figure the situation out.
As he got closer to the building, he could see the door and windows were steamed over, further adding to the mystery. He arrived at the door and peered in through a very tiny portion of the window that was clear. Inside, he saw Penny running on the treadmill. She was wearing the same Princeton t-shirt and shorts she changed into to clean before Jack and Crystal left that morning.
Jack put the baseball bat down and slipped his phone into the pocket of his hoodie. This wasn’t a burglary at all. The door was unlocked and he walked in. It was oppressively hot in the gym; the furnace was blowing at full force. When he checked the thermostat by the door, it was set at 95°.
Penny was running at an incredible pace and sweating so much her t-shirt and shorts were soaked along with her long braid. Jack lowered the thermostat and approached Penny. Her t-shirt hung on her scary thin frame. Since arriving home for his break, Penny had worn sweats in dealing with the sick kids and although he saw weight loss in her face, it wasn’t until that moment he watched her on the treadmill that he realized how much weight she really lost. Comparing it to the other episodes, Jack realized this was the worst she had ever been. She needed help immediately. Her arms and legs were like sticks with her knees knobbier than usual. He could see her muscles and tendons clearly and it sickened him a bit.
“Penny!” he called. Her back was to him and although she wore no headphones, she seemed lost within herself. “Penny!” Jack called her name again but received no response. When he came around to the front of the treadmill and Penny saw him, she looked both shocked and worried. Her hand reached out to the treadmill’s control panel and Jack expected her to shut it off. Instead, she increased the speed. It was a near impossible clip and Penny’s feet couldn’t keep up. She stumbled and before Jack could pull the emergency stop key, she tripped and down she went. It was an ungraceful fall and she hung onto one of the handles. Penny cried out as the belt burned her leg from near her right ankle clear up to her thigh. Jack stopped the treadmill and helped Penny up.
“Son of a bitch,” Penny gasped as she looked at her leg. The burn was a bad one.
“What is going on?” Jack asked.
“I was just running,” she responded in an irritated voice.
“Yes, you were, in very high heat, at a ridiculous pace and in near exhaustion after working hard all day after a red eye flight…”
“You don’t need to remind me,” she growled at him.
“Your anorexia is out of control, Penelope,” he said, easing his tone. “You need help, professional help.”
“Penny, you are not seeing how bad you are.” She ignored him and started limping away. He followed her into the cold and back to the house. From her kitchen work desk, she pulled out the First Aid kit. “When I was researching treatment facilities for Millie, I ran across one in Utah that specializes in eating disorders,” said Jack slowly. Penny seemed to freeze for a moment before opening the kit. “You need help. Since I have been home, I have not seen you eat much. You are scary thin. You are over exercising. The Terrible Voice is back, no?” She shook her head and focused on the ugly burn.
“Millie’s in treatment, the kids are not 100%, and you’re going back on the road soon. I will be fine,” she insisted.
“Enough! I am not doing this anymore!” It was the first time he ever raised his voice at Penny. At first her sweaty face showed shock but then he saw the fire ignite in her eyes. “Before I said goodbye to Millie in Arizona, she told me about how you fainted the night before I came back. Penny, I entrust you with the safety of my children…”
“Have your children ever been harmed in my care?” she spit at him. His next words were said calmly.
“Not yet, but what happens if you pass out while holding Sofochka or driving?” Sofochka was Jack’s nickname for Little Sofie and only he was allowed to call her that.
Penny’s face returned to shock briefly before becoming angry again. She bolted upstairs presumably to her bedroom. Jack went to follow her but he heard Little Sofie start to cry.
“Damn it,” he swore and instead of going to Penny’s room, he went towards Ellie and Little Sofie’s bedroom. Ellie stood next to the crib trying to comfort her sister.
“Ellie try to help Lil,” she said with tears in her eyes. “Lil cry and cry.”
“Thank you, moya doch’,” he said gently and kissed her forehead. “You did good. Go back to bed and I will sing so the sleeping fairies come for you both.”
“Okay, Poppy.”
Jack tucked his eldest daughter in and then picked up his youngest daughter who went from crying to whimpering. Checking her diaper, he found she was soaked and he changed her. Sitting down in the rocking chair, he quietly sang the folk song his mother taught him so long ago. It took a long time but Little Sofie fell back to sleep and when he looked over at Ellie, he saw she had returned to slumber also. He tucked his little one into her crib and decided to give Penny some time to cool down. Jack was tired and he decided it would be better to attack the Penny problem with a rested mind.
. . .
“Poppy.” Poke. “Poppy.” Poke. “Poppy.” Poke. “Poppy.” With the next poke, Jack opened his eyes. He had been sound asleep when Ellie began her wake up routine. But it was his eldest daughter and he didn’t mind.
“Good morning, krasivyy,” he said with a smile and his heart warmed as he saw her blush. She only understood a few of the Russian words he used but krasivyy was one of them. Ellie held one of the yellow kitchen towels, scrunched up, in her hands. She looked up at Jack with a worried look. “What is wrong, Ellie?”
“Ellie find no Nee-Nee,” she said in a shaky voice and Jack sat up. “Ellie find this Nee-Nee.” She held out the towel. “Ellie find in eating room. Ellie show She. She said Poppy fix. She said Poppy fix Nee-Nee. She is mad.” Ellie looked down and Jack saw a tear roll down Ellie’s face. “She yelled loud at Ellie.” She was what Ellie called Crystal. Never once did she call her Mama like the other children.
“I am sorry Mama raised her voice to you,” Jack said, holding his anger in check. He took the towel and opened it. Inside were Penny’s keys, her cell phone, and a Post-It note. On the note was a simple message from Penny – I quit. It was the only time he was glad Ellie was unable to read. Jack kept his worry, anger, and confusion from his daughter. He smiled at her warmly. “Thank you for bringing me these.”
“Ellie want Nee-Nee. Poppy find Nee-Nee. Poppy fix Nee-Nee.”
“Poppy will try, Ellie,” he said and gave her a hug.
An hour later, the house was in chaos and it was not even eight in the morning and all the kids were awake despite how active they had been the day before. They wanted breakfast, Ellie was crying for Penny and Crystal was trying to yell at Jack without actually yelling. Jack gave her credit for one thing and that was Crystal didn’t like to yell at Jack in front of the kids.
“What the hell happened, Jack?” she demanded under her breath as she filled glasses with orange juice and Jack started scrambling a dozen and a half eggs.
“Nee-Nee,” Ellie whined and leaned against Jack. “Ellie need Nee-Nee.”
“Ellie, have a seat at the table,” he said but she shook her head.
“Answer my question, Jack,” Crystal said and held a glass of juice out to Ellie. She took it, turned away from Jack and proceeded to dump it on the floor. “Ellie!” Crystal yelled and Ellie started crying.
“Nee-Nee… Nee-Nee… Nee-Nee…,” she cried over and over and sat down in the spilled orange juice. The rest of the kids laughed and Little Sofie started shaking her sippy cup of milk all around. This caused the milk-splattered kids to yell at her and she joined in the crying.
“This is why we need Penny,” Crystal said through clenched teeth. “Fix this. Find Penny and get her ass back here so she can do her job.”
“She needs help, Crystal,” he replied through his own clenched teeth. “Her anorexia is raging and I am worried about her health.”
“So she’s fainted a couple times…”
“You knew?” Jack interrupted her. Crystal looked like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Jack turned off the stove and pulled his wife into the laundry room. “Are you telling me you have known Penny’s anorexia was back and so bad she has been fainting yet you have not mentioned it to me?”
“You were on the road. What could you have done?”
“We could have discussed ways to help her. I could have talked to her on the phone.”
“She was still doing her job,” Crystal snarked at him. “She fainted but she wasn’t hurt.”
“This time and she was here at home but what if it happens when she’s cooking or out and about with the kids or hits her head? And honestly, Crystal, Penny is our friend first and foremost.” Jack ran his hand through his hair.
“Friend or employee, whatever you want to call her. All I know is I need Penny back here to do her job,” Crystal said, unaffected. “Fix this problem, Jack.” She left and Jack was frustrated both with Crystal’s apathy and worry about where Penny was.
Jack returned to the kitchen. Annie and Leo were cleaning up the orange juice while Karie cleaned up Little Sofie. Sasha stood at the cooktop, finishing the eggs.
“I did not know you could cook,” Jack said dully.
“Penny was starting to teach me,” Sasha replied. “Nothing fancy; just the basics.” From upstairs came the crying of Ellie. “Nattie is helping Ellie change. Papa, gde Penny?” Jack looked at his eldest child. Sasha reminded him of Danny, wise beyond his age. Sasha acted much older than his fourteen years.
“Ya ne znayu,” Jack replied with a sigh.
“I feel bad,” said Sasha as he stirred the eggs. “I’ve noticed her not eating much. I should have told you. When she does eat, I hear her making herself sick afterwards sometimes.” Sasha had a troubled look on his face. “I feel like a failure as a human being for not saying something. You, and Penny, taught me better than that.” He paused a moment. “I don’t want to be like Mama.”
“Sasha, moye solntse, do not blame yourself. You are a wonderful young man and a beautiful hu
man being. I am very, very proud of you. However, this situation is not one you should feel responsible for. Ponimat’?”
“Da,” Sasha said, although Jack could tell his son said so with reluctance. Jack looked around. Things appeared to be under control. “Can you finish breakfast while I figure out what’s going on?”
“Of course.”
Jack decided to go up to Penny’s room to first make sure she wasn’t hiding. He doubted she was; that just wasn’t her way. Even though he didn’t think she was in there, he knocked first. About the only time he ever treated Penny like an employee was in regards to her bedroom. He rarely entered it; she needed a space to call her own and made sure the kids understood if she was in the room with the door closed, that meant she was off limits.
There was no answer to his knock so he opened the door. The bedroom was simple, nothing fancy just like Penny. The walls were painted a soft yellow and on her bed was a simple quilt she bought in Amish country. The furniture – a bed, nightstand, dresser, desk, and table holding a small flat screen TV – was white wood and bare of any unnecessary knickknacks. A small alarm clock sat on the nightstand and a ceramic pencil cup Ellie made in her adaptive art class stood on the desk next to a silver frame. Inside was a picture of Penny and Ellie. The two were very close and Jack hadn’t been surprised by his daughter’s reaction to a missing Penny.