The Terror of the Southlands

by Caroline Carlson

  The crow’s nest swayed as a wave pitched the Renegade forward, and Hilary fought to keep her balance. “I suppose it has been a while.”

  “It has indeed,” said Captain Blacktooth. “I hope you can understand that all of this puts me in a rather difficult position. When you found the treasure the Enchantress of the Northlands had hidden away, the VNHLP was thoroughly impressed—and of course we are still grateful to you for bringing such vast quantities of magic back to the kingdom. It’s made pilfering and pillaging a good deal easier for all of us.” He lowered his voice. “Then, of course, there was the matter of your father. You know as well as I do that he would have locked up all the scallywags in the kingdom if you hadn’t prevented him from getting his hands on that magic. Only the most cold-blooded of pirates could have sent her own father to the Dungeons.”

  Hilary hesitated. “Thank you,” she said at last, for she supposed Captain Blacktooth had meant to compliment her. She rather wished, however, that he hadn’t mentioned her father. Admiral Westfield had nearly seized the Enchantress’s treasure for himself, but Hilary had stopped him, and he’d been trapped in a gloomy prison cell ever since. Hilary was sure her father would never forgive her for betraying him. Still, he was nothing more than a villain, and Hilary was the Terror of the Southlands now. She couldn’t allow herself to feel the slightest bit sorry about the whole affair, for sorriness was a thoroughly unpiratical emotion.

  “When I admitted you to the League,” Captain Blacktooth continued, “I put my own reputation on the line. More than a few scourges and scallywags felt that League membership shouldn’t be open to girls—and certainly not to High Society schoolgirls,” he added apologetically.

  “But I’m not a schoolgirl!” Hilary said. “I’m a pirate!”

  “And that’s precisely what I said to the League. I told them not to worry and that you’d soon prove yourself to be the most fearsome pirate on the High Seas, but I’m afraid that over the past few months, you haven’t done much to impress your fellow scallywags. There have even been rumors that your recovery of the Enchantress’s treasure was a fluke—or that you wouldn’t have been able to manage it without Jasper Fletcher’s help.”

  Hilary drew in her breath. “That’s completely absurd.”

  “Absurd or not, if you don’t do something to prove those rumors wrong, you’ll make both of us the laughingstock of the High Seas.” Captain Blacktooth peered at Hilary over the rims of his spectacles. “And I don’t enjoy being a laughingstock. Do you?”

  The wind whipped Hilary’s braid into her face, and she pushed it aside. She was having a perfectly pleasant time sailing around the kingdom and helping Jasper distribute treasure, but perhaps it wasn’t quite the swashbuckling voyage she’d dreamed of during all those years of endless lessons and tedious parties at Westfield House. She’d longed to swap her utterly proper, utterly dull life for High Seas adventures like the ones her father had always boasted about. If you didn’t count helping Jasper retrieve his pirate hat from the harbor, however—and Hilary didn’t—this meeting with Captain Blacktooth was the closest she’d come to adventure in months. If adventure refused to find her, why shouldn’t she set off to find it instead? She couldn’t let Blacktooth and his mates believe that she was a poor excuse for a pirate—and she certainly couldn’t risk allowing such a rumor to make its way to her father’s ears. “No,” said Hilary, “I don’t believe I’d care to be a laughingstock either.”

  “I hoped as much.” Captain Blacktooth nodded and adjusted his spectacles. “Still, I must take measures to ensure that you don’t disappoint me, and that is why I am setting you a challenge. Instead of spending your days helping the softhearted Mr. Fletcher with his thoroughly unpiratical work, I want you to complete a bold and daring task—a task that will prove to me and my fellow scallywags that you deserve to be a member of this League. A task,” said Captain Blacktooth, “that only a true pirate could perform.”

  The gargoyle’s ears perked up. “Do you mean an adventure?” he asked.

  “Of course I mean an adventure!” Captain Blacktooth bellowed with such force that the gargoyle’s ears quivered. “It’s difficult to be bold and daring when one is sitting at home on one’s pirate ship, darning one’s socks. Far better to embark on a journey to the far north to slay the sea monster that’s been terrorizing the city of Summerstead for months! Or,” he said, “if such a voyage doesn’t tempt you, Pirate Westfield, I hear there’s a pirate king in the southern kingdoms who claims he can defeat any swashbuckler on the High Seas in a sword fight. Perhaps you shall be the one to prove him wrong.”

  Hilary had never even seen a sea monster, let alone slain one, and her sword-fighting skills were not entirely up to VNHLP standards, but she had no intention of sharing either of these facts with Captain Blacktooth. If he wanted her to perform one of these tasks, she would simply have to find a way to do it. “Of course I can slay a sea monster,” she said, “or defeat a pirate in a duel. It shouldn’t be any trouble at all.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Captain Blacktooth placed a hand on Hilary’s shoulder. “But I must warn you that if you fail to impress me, your membership card will be burned and your cutlass sacrificed. No pirate loyal to the League will be permitted to associate with you, and I will be required to send you off the Renegade’s plank as though you were nothing more than a common sea scamp. Many scallywags survive the plunge”—Captain Blacktooth lowered his voice—“but many do not. Do you understand?”

  “Perfectly,” said Hilary. She was fearsome enough to endure a walk off the plank—or at least she hoped she was—but after all the work she had done to earn a place in the League, being dismissed from its ranks would be too humiliating to bear. “You have nothing to worry about, sir. I’ll be bolder and more daring than any other pirate on the High Seas.”

  “That’s right, Captain Blacktooth,” the gargoyle said. “Hilary is the finest pirate in the kingdom, and I am definitely the finest gargoyle. Prepare to be impressed!”

  “I shall do exactly that,” said Captain Blacktooth. “For now, however, I must say good-bye to you both, for I’ve made arrangements to visit my niece.” He took Hilary’s hand and gave it another hearty shake. “Hurry home, Pirate Westfield, decide upon your task, and for heaven’s sake, do your best to be bold and daring.”

  Hilary tucked the gargoyle away, said her farewells to Captain Blacktooth, and clambered down from the crow’s nest as quickly as she could manage. When the Jolly Roger that flew above them looked as small as Hilary’s thumbnail, the gargoyle peered over the edge of her bag. “That didn’t go too badly,” he said, though he didn’t sound entirely certain. “At least Blacktooth didn’t make us walk the plank.”

  “And he never will, if I have a thing to say about it.” Hilary swung herself down from the ropes and landed hard on the deck. “Don’t worry, gargoyle; the next time we see Captain Blacktooth, he’ll be awarding us our medal at last.” She gave her most fearsome look to the pirates who had crowded around her, sending them scurrying back to their posts. Good, she thought; perhaps that would prevent them from spreading any more absurd rumors about her behavior.

  Twigget was waiting for Hilary near the crate marked BOOTS, filing his fingernails with the side of his knife, and she marched up to him in what she hoped was a thoroughly piratical fashion. “Mr. Twigget,” she said, “you’d better fetch my things at once. I’m off to do something bold and daring, and I simply can’t begin until I have my cutlass.”

  * * *

  an extract From

  The Gargoyle: History of a Hero

  BY THE GARGOYLE

  AS TOLD TO H. WESTFIELD

  You might be wondering, “How did the gargoyle rise from his position as a humble stone sculpture to become the bravest and best-loved hero in the kingdom?” Well, dear reader, I am more than happy to tell you.

  In my early years, I was employed as the magical protector of Westfield House. But a life cemented above a doorway is no life for a g
argoyle of spirit, so I resigned from my position and (with the help of my trusty assistant, Hilary) set off in search of fame and fortune. After taking an accidental trip to finishing school in my assistant’s luggage, I introduced myself to the well-known pirate Jasper Fletcher, who agreed to take me on board his ship as a figurehead. (You may not know this, dear reader, but the figurehead is one of the most important sailors on a pirate ship, second only to the captain himself.) Jasper was also kind enough to employ my assistant when he realized how lonely she would be without me.

  Soon enough, we were off on a thrilling voyage to find the greatest prize in the land. Our beloved kingdom of Augusta had mined all the magic ore from its hills, and hardly any magic was left—except, that is, for a large collection of treasure hidden away long ago by the Enchantress of the Northlands. Naturally, your intrepid hero volunteered to find this lost magic and return it to the people of Augusta.

  But I was not the only one seeking treasure! You will never believe this, dear reader, but my trusty assistant’s father, Admiral Westfield, wanted the magic for himself. He and his High Society friends had been stealing magic from the noble households of Augusta for months, and they planned to use the treasure to banish the queen and rule the kingdom in her place. I knew that if Admiral Westfield reached that treasure before I did, I would never be famous.

  Using my sharp wit and my even sharper teeth, I deciphered the Enchantress’s treasure map, fought off an entire fleet of naval officers, won legions of adoring admirers, and guided my trusty assistant to the treasure’s location. (My assistant says this is not precisely how she remembers the course of events, but this is not her memoir, is it?)

  In any case, the treasure was nearly ours when disaster struck: Admiral Westfield had found us! He soon learned, however, that he was no match for a gargoyle. With some help from my assistant, I defeated the villain and sent him off to the Royal Dungeons. I received a fashionable pirate hat as a reward for my efforts, and Jasper generously gave my assistant the title of Terror of the Southlands. We can’t all be the most heroic gargoyle in the kingdom, but my assistant seems pleased with her title nonetheless.

  * * *

  * * *

  From

  The Illustrated Queensport Gazette

  YOUR GATEWAY TO THE CIVILIZED WORLD!

  INTRUDER REPORTED NEAR

  ENCHANTRESS’S RESIDENCE

  PEMBERTON, AUGUSTA—The queen’s inspectors were called to Miss Pimm’s Finishing School for Delicate Ladies last week to investigate a report of one or more suspicious persons trespassing on school grounds. Miss Eugenia Pimm, who divides her time between her leadership of the finishing school and her position as Enchantress, summoned the authorities late at night after hearing footsteps outside her window.

  Inspector John Hastings states that no intruder was found anywhere near the school building. “Frankly,” Mr. Hastings told the Gazette, “I don’t believe there’s a crime to investigate. If you ask me, it’s nothing more than a handful of schoolgirls playing a prank on their headmistress.”

  Miss Pimm herself, however, was adamant that no pupil of hers would ever dream of prowling around the school grounds after dark. “If only I’d had my magic crochet hook nearer at hand,” she said, “I would have apprehended the intruder myself. As it was, I could do no more than light a candle and run to the window before he slipped away.”

  In her role as Enchantress, Miss Pimm keeps new magic users in line and attempts to prevent the kingdom’s rogues and villains from using magic for their own nefarious purposes. Therefore, she claims, it is quite natural for her to have enemies. “Half the kingdom is furious at me for scolding them when they use their magic improperly,” she said, “and the other half of the kingdom is furious because they haven’t yet received their magic pieces from Jasper Fletcher. The entire business gives me a splitting headache. My greatest desire is to find the next Enchantress and retire to my family home in the Northlands, but my search for a talented young lady of quality to take my place has been rather a disaster so far. I’m beginning to doubt whether anyone in the kingdom is up to the task—but you mustn’t report all this in the Gazette. What are you scribbling, young man?”

  At this point in our conversation with the Enchantress, the Gazette reporter was promptly kicked out.

  * * *

  * * *

  IN OTTERPOOL THIS WEEK!

  THE FLOATING BOOKSHOP

  &

  MAGIC DISPENSARY

  Augusta’s only official source for

  MAGIC COINS

  MAGIC CROCHET HOOKS

  and other curiosities

  from the Enchantress’s treasure trove!

  Don’t miss our impressive selection of

  HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE TALES

  THRILLING ROMANCES

  and

  HELPFUL ETIQUETTE GUIDES

  for every occasion.

  And please stop by for a cozy mug of

  HOT CHOCOLATE.

  Find us aboard the PIGEON in Otterpool Harbor.

  Eloise Greyson, PROPRIETRESS

  Jasper Fletcher, PIRATE

  * * *

  CHAPTER TWO

  BY THE TIME Hilary returned to the Pigeon, she was already late for supper. She slipped into the captain’s cabin, took her seat at the end of the long wooden table, and cast a skeptical glance at the charred remnants of what had probably been a fish. Then she drew her cutlass and helped herself to two enormous slices of apple pie, one of which she set down on the bench so the gargoyle could reach it.

  Around the table, the others were discussing the news of the day. Jasper was preparing to leave the next morning for a freelance pirates’ convention a few days south of the kingdom, and he wondered whether anyone had seen his seventh-best hat feather. Miss Greyson had sold three cookbooks that afternoon to an elderly pirate who’d grown tired of hardtack. Fitzwilliam, Jasper’s budgerigar, had learned to whistle several notes from a sea chantey, and Charlie had been chased down the streets of Otterpool by a rather aggressive enchanted harpsichord. (Flying instruments had become a frequent hazard in the past few days since the members of the Otterpool Royal Orchestra had received their new magic pieces.) “And of course,” said Jasper, “our Terror must have some news to share with us.” He turned to Hilary. “How was your meeting with Captain Blacktooth?”

  Hilary took a large bite of pie to give herself a few moments to think. She wasn’t particularly eager to admit that she’d been found unpiratical. If Jasper found out about it, he’d most likely insist on giving Captain Blacktooth a piece of his mind, and Hilary couldn’t imagine anything more humiliating than that. Why, the crew of the Renegade would spread word around the League that the Terror of the Southlands wasn’t even brave enough to fight her own battles! And there would be plenty of time to tell everyone the truth later, after she had slain a sea monster or defeated a pirate king. She swallowed the pie and set down her fork. “The meeting was perfectly fine.”

  The gargoyle stared up at her. “It was?”

  “Yes,” she said firmly, giving the gargoyle a look. “Blacktooth only stopped by to say how disappointed he was that I didn’t attend the League holiday ball.”

  Charlie raised his eyebrows. “He sailed all the way to Otterpool for that?”

  “That’s right,” said the gargoyle, nodding his head with vigor. “Definitely.”

  Charlie frowned at Hilary, the way he often did when she broke a rule during a swordplay lesson. Then he shrugged and turned back to his supper.

  “The League holiday ball!” Jasper put his feet up on the table. “Are all pirates required to attend it now? That sort of nonsense is exactly why I left the VNHLP.”

  Miss Greyson smiled and swatted Jasper with her handkerchief. “I thought you were forced to leave when Blacktooth overheard you calling him—What was it? A sea cucumber?”

  “The details,” said Jasper, “are hardly important. But I’m glad to hear the meeting went well, Hilary.” He smiled at her. “I c
an’t say I care much for Blacktooth, but he’s a valuable friend to have. When you’re friendly with the League, you’ve got access to the best treasure maps, the best cannons, and the finest magic pieces this side of High Society. You’ve got a fleet of fellow scallywags who are obliged to help you out of a tight spot, and you don’t have to sail nearly all the way to the southern kingdoms to find an island that’s willing to host your gatherings.” Jasper pushed his chair back and stood up. “At any rate, my advice to all of you is to stay on Blacktooth’s good side—and to keep track of your seventh-best hat feather, for you never know when you may need it.”

  “I’ll certainly try,” said Hilary. She knew for a fact that her own hat feathers were stowed safely in her cabin, and as for Captain Blacktooth—well, with any luck at all, she’d be back in his good graces soon enough.

  EARLY THE NEXT morning, Hilary stood watch while Jasper departed for his freelance pirates’ convention in a rather pungent fishing boat he’d borrowed from a gentleman in the next village over. She waved good-bye and promised quite sincerely not to do anything that Jasper himself wouldn’t do. Then, once the fishing boat had disappeared behind the waves, she stepped out of her boots and slipped down to the treasure storeroom, taking great care not to wake Charlie and Miss Greyson as she passed their cabins.