The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone

by D H Sidebottom

  He sighed; squeezing my hand tighter. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he choked out on a whisper.

  I lay in silence, unable to process the fact that my baby was dead, murdered! My throat closed in and my mouth dried as my heart shrivelled and died. I released his hand and turned, curling into a ball.

  “Go,” I said simply.

  “Ava?” he gasped.

  “Get out,” I repeated calmly.

  He gripped my arm and tried to turn me over, “Ava?”

  I looked over my shoulder. He reared back at the hostility and coldness in my eyes. “I told you to leave Dane alone. I told you it was mine and his argument Mason, but you had to take it further. You did this!” I spat, hating him at that moment with all that I was.

  He looked stunned and then guilty, “Baby . . . I . . . I . . .” he wheezed.

  “I said get out Mason,” I persisted but he just sat staring at me. “GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN!” I roared.

  He jumped off the bed, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “Baby . . . please,” he urged as Sam entered the room and took hold of a shocked Mason.

  “Come on mate, leave her be,” Sam urged gently, guiding Mason out of the room, leaving me in darkness again. I silently wondered if it would ever be light again.

  * * *

  I woke sometime later as a nurse was checking me over. “Hi Ava.” She had a warm smile that reached her eyes, sympathy written all over her. She sat on the bed and took my hand in hers. “I’m so sorry Ava, but we couldn’t save your baby,” she told me gently. I nodded, lowering my eyes. I wondered why I wasn’t crying. “Would you like to talk to somebody about it?” she asked but I shook my head.

  “No . . . thank you” I whispered.

  She nodded softly. “I will give you some leaflets before you leave in case you change your mind.” I nodded again and she stood, still holding my hand, “Your friend is here, shall I show her in?”

  I just shrugged.

  She showed Courtney in as she slipped out and shut the door quietly. “Ava?” Courtney breathed as her voice cracked and a tear slid down her cheek. I sat, watching it trail through her eyelashes, down her cheek and drip off her chin onto her chest, again wondering where my tears were.

  She sat on the bed and took my hand; that was the third time someone had held my hand in the space of a couple of hours. I regarded her long fingers curled around my tiny pale ones. “How are you feeling, babe?”

  I shrugged again but didn’t speak. She narrowed her eyes on me. “Ava, say something, babe” she implored.

  I slowly lifted my eyes to hers, studying the sadness and love for me in her eyes.

  All I could do was shrug and curl up, not wanting to say how I felt because the pain was too raw, too excruciating to explain. I felt her snuggle behind me, spooning me. Her arm embraced my stomach as her thumb slowly drew circles against the empty space where my baby had been. Her other hand stroked my hair slowly as she hummed softly in my ear, giving me something to concentrate on instead of the longing ache that resided in me.

  The next time I woke, Courtney was sat in the room chair, watching me. A small smile lifted her lips and she cocked her head. “Hey, you.”

  I smiled slightly and pushed myself upwards. She climbed from her chair and sorted the pillows behind me. “How are you feeling?” she asked and I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Fucking great!” I snapped. She sucked in her lips but didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry, Court,” I said gently and gripped her hand.

  She shook her head. “You need to let it out Ava,” she said softly.

  I dropped my eyes. “I can’t,” I whispered. “It hurts too fucking much.”

  “Mason hasn’t left” she informed me and I stiffened.

  “I don’t want him in here Courtney,” I hissed.

  She narrowed her eyes. “Ava . . . he’s . . . he’s hurting as much as you, babe” she uttered and I scoffed.

  “I seriously doubt that. It’s his fucking fault,” I spat.

  She sighed heavily. “No Ava. It’s Dane’s fucking fault,” she asserted sternly.

  I glared at her. “I told Mason not to get involved Court, but he wouldn’t fucking listen. Dane was angry at me for ending his and Mason’s friendship because Mason had beaten the shit out of him for coming on to me,” I growled as my blood started to boil.

  “Ava, no. Dane was a sick bastard that’s all. Mason was just sticking up for you.”

  I knew she wouldn’t understand how I felt. Mason and I were over, he had caused the death of my baby and I would never forgive him for that.

  “What happened to Dane?” I asked. She remained silent and I snorted, “I take it he’s been ‘taken care of’?” I shook my head as she nodded and confirmed my thoughts. “See, now he should be in prison, suffering for what he did but . . . but now he’s where I wanna fucking be . . . at peace!” I spat, the anger, fury and hatred surfacing.

  “AVA!” Courtney gasped.

  “Oh fuck off, Courtney!” I yelled.

  She reared back but then her hand shot out and she slapped my face. “Don’t you dare take it out on me. I am your best friend not your bloody enemy, Ava. And say anything like that again and I swear to god . . .” She didn’t finish the sentence.

  I scoffed. “You’ll what Courtney? Finish me off? It would save me the job,” I whispered angrily and her face paled.

  She stood, picked up her bag and left, slamming the door behind her.

  I rested my head against the pillow and sighed. My life had changed so much in the last couple of months; from George leaving to making the biggest mistake of my life . . . meeting Mason.

  Spotting my phone on the bedside cabinet, I sat up and dialled George. He answered after the third ring. “Hey, princess,” he chirped.

  My resolve melted as I heard his comforting voice and I couldn’t speak. “Ava?” he persisted.

  “G . . . George,” I rasped.

  “Ava? What’s wrong, Princess?” he asked slowly.

  “George,” I whispered.

  “Ava, talk to me,” he barked sternly. “What’s wrong?”

  My heart choked at his worry about me, “I . . . I need you George” I murmured.

  “Ava, tell me sweetheart,” he urged and I sighed.

  “My baby . . . my baby’s dead George,” I choked out but there were still no tears.

  “Shit!” he growled. “I’m on my way Princess. I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?” I didn’t answer straight away. “Ava, put Mason on sweetheart,” he ordered softly and I snorted down the phone. I could hear George’s hesitation. “Where’s Mason, Princess?” he asked slowly.

  I shrugged, aware that he couldn’t see me. “Not here. I don’t want him here,” I hissed.

  George paused again, “Did he hurt you?” The tone in his question held so much menace I was actually frightened of what he would do to Mason.

  “No, his best friend did. He . . . he . . .” I swallowed, “Dane, he . . . murdered my baby,” I said coldly. I heard George’s sharp inhalation.

  “Fuck Ava,” he breathed. “Listen sweetheart, I’ve just managed to secure a flight for 11 O’clock online so I’ll be with you as soon as I can, okay?” he reassured and I nodded. “Is Courtney with you?”

  I gulped guiltily. “No, she got mad at me and left” I told him quietly.

  “Oh Princess, what did you do?” he asked softly.

  “I . . . I said some horrible things to her,” I whispered and he sighed.

  “She’ll be back.” He paused, “Ava; I have another call coming through. I’ll be with you as soon as I can. I love you, princess.”

  “I love you too, George,” I whispered back as I ended the call, slid down the bed and placed my hands on my empty stomach. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to nobody. “I’m sorry.”

  * * *

  I awoke sometime in the night, it was dark but there was light coming through the glass in the door. I spotted someone curled up
in the chair, covered with a blanket. I slipped my legs out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, a desperate need to pee.

  “Ava.” Courtney’s voice croaked out and I turned to her.

  “Courtney?” She stretched and flipped on a floor lamp next to her. She looked at me, assessing my mood and then cocked her head. “I’m so sorry, Court,” I apologised sadly.

  She rose and walked over to me. “Already forgotten, babe” she smiled. “Wee?” I nodded and headed for the bathroom. “I’ll grab you a drink” she offered before she disappeared through the door.

  I entered the bathroom and gasped at my reflection in the mirror. My lip was stitched; no wonder it felt sore, there was a huge purple bruise on my right cheekbone and a blue smaller one on my left one but it was my eyes that captivated me, they were cold and empty, a hollow soul looking back.

  Sighing, I sat on the toilet, ordering myself not to look at the bloody pad in my knickers; the leftovers of my baby.

  Courtney returned with a coffee when I was situated back in bed, handing it to me and perching herself back in the chair.

  “What time is it?” I asked between gulps, the coffee already stimulating my brain.

  “About 4.40 I think.” she rubbed her eyes and rolled her neck.

  “You get off Courtney, I’m fine,” I told her but she shook her head.

  “Nah, I’m good.”

  “Has he gone?” I asked hesitantly. She regarded me then nodded once.

  “Yeah,” was all she said. I sensed her discomfort at bringing the subject up again.

  The door opened and George stood in the doorway, he looked old and haggard; his face was full of concern but his eyes were full of love. He scanned the room then his eyes found mine, he tipped his head and took a deep breath when he studied my features.

  His eyes grew dark, his taut mouth pulled tight. He had a curl to his lips that made him seem extremely sinister. A small growl left his throat and I was suddenly aware of why people had been afraid of this man, the hatred and need for revenge was etched deeply into his face.

  He turned to Courtney. I saw her rear back into her seat at the sight of him, his power and fury engulfing the room. “Where is Dane?” He asked so quietly I nearly didn’t catch what he’d asked her.

  She swallowed and shook her head. “It’s sorted” she rasped out and then dropped her eyes, frightened of what she could see in his. He narrowed his eyes and then took a deep breath, clearing his mind and turned to me.

  He walked across the room slowly, his gaze penetrating me. The sight of this man, a man who loved me so completely, so limitlessly and so openly broke me. A sob escaped my throat and he sped up, swiftly moving across the floor until I was wrapped in his comforting arms. My sobs grew stronger until I was screaming and weeping at the same time. He held me tight, stroking my hair and rocking me as I bawled and broke.

  Courtney slipped from the room quietly as George continued to soothe me, his gentle hushes in my ear calming me.

  As I quietened and opened my eyes I saw Mason stood in the doorway, silently watching us. I scrambled back at the sight of him, “GET OUT!” I yelled.

  He closed his eyes as though in pain. George stood suddenly and narrowed his eyes on Mason. “She asked you to leave,” he said with a chill to his voice. I couldn’t ascertain Mason’s expression but he nodded and turned, leaving me alone with an angry George.

  “What did he do, Ava?” he asked, a terrifying quietness in his voice that begged no arguments and I told him about getting pregnant, Dane and Mason’s interference, right up where I had woken up in hospital.

  He sat silently listening, never interfering or breaking in. When I got to the part where Dane had chased me through the house, George’s face darkened and I noticed his fists clenched tightly.

  We sat in silence for a moment when I had finished retelling him everything and then he turned to me, “Princess . . . I don’t blame Mason for what he did.” My eyes widened and my blood started to boil. What was wrong with these people?

  “He did what any man in love would have done. Dane earned Mason’s wrath for what he said and did in that supermarket, I would have done the same,” he said bluntly. “He loves you Ava and when we are in love, well, we do things without thinking.”

  I shook my head, “No George, you’re wrong!”

  He took my hand. “Ava, you are just looking for someone to blame, sweetheart. It’s quite normal.”

  I snatched my hand back, “No George. I told him not to interfere, but he never bloody listens. I have to do what he tells me, but he never fucking listens to me. If he had just left it then . . .” I couldn’t finish the sentence, not wanting to say it out loud.

  George simply nodded. “I’m not going to argue with you Ava, you are hurting and grieving but I won’t let you blame Mason for this. It was his baby too, his baby has died too Princess,” he maintained sadly.

  I looked away, refusing to let George see how his words hurt me. I had expected his support and understanding but apparently I wasn’t going to get it.

  CHAPTER 29

  THE DOCTOR HAD given me the all clear after a few checks and declared me fit to go home. George huddled me into his hire car and drove us back to the cottage.

  We entered and he double checked everything after I told him what had been happening. If anything had come out of this nightmare, it was that it had all ended. The obvious fact that it was Dane behind all the stalking and the poisoning would now be over.

  George went out for breakfast take-away as Brian and Brenda visited, my heart breaking again as Brenda swept me into her arms and held me tight. Brian was lovely and sat holding my hand tightly whilst Brenda blabbered on about nothing in particular. I was grateful for her diversion, knowing and understanding what and why she was doing it.

  They left after a couple of hours and around lunch time there was a knock at the door as I was curled into the sofa under a blanket, watching Friends re-runs. George went to answer it and I heard hushed voices in the hallway but didn’t get up. Presuming he would lead them into the room, I carried on with my diversion of television.

  After about 20 minutes the episode ended and I stretched, wondering where George had got to. I swung my legs around and sat up. Mason was sat in the armchair watching me. I gasped and jumped backwards. “What the hell are you doing here?” I snapped.

  He chewed on his bottom lip. “George let me in so we could talk,” he explained quietly.

  “Well, how long have you been sat there?” I replied, gobsmacked.

  He shrugged. “About 15 minutes.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, regarding me intently.

  “Go home, Mason. I don’t want you here,” I hissed but he continued to gaze at me.

  “We need to talk Ava.”

  I snorted, “What? You mean you’ve come to apologise for killing my baby?” I glared and the hurt behind his eyes penetrated my soul but not enough to forgive him.

  “Ava . . . I . . .” he tried and I turned my lip up at him.

  “Don’t bother Mason, I’m not prepared to listen. Just go,” I snarled and curled back into the settee and ignored him.

  After an hour he was still sat in the damn chair. I was thirsty so rising from the sofa, I disappeared into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I returned with a coffee and a packet of biscuits and continued to ignore him, laughing loudly at the sitcom.

  After about another thirty minutes I saw Mason stand and I smiled to myself, happy that I was making him leave but he walked over to the television and turned it off, turning to me,. “Ava.” I reached for the remote and flicked the telly back on. He inhaled sharply then went back over to it and pulled the plug from the wall. I took a deep breath, the fury starting to rise up but he turned back to me and crouched down in front of me. “Baby . . .” he started but didn’t finish as I punched him hard in the face.

  “Fuck off, Mason!” I spat as his head slammed to the side.

  He grit his teeth and grasped my fist. �
�Will you fucking talk to me!” he grated, trying to rein in his temper but I sat, glaring at him.

  “I hate you,” I hissed and spat in his face.

  “Jesus Christ, Ava!” He growled and stood back swiftly, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

  George came in and walked over to me, standing in front of me glaring. “Ava, I know you’re hurting but I swear to god, do that again and you will have me to answer to.”

  I bit my lip, not wanting to feel George’s wrath and turned my head to stare through the window, ignoring them both. Mason rubbed his temples and turned to George. “Forget it George, she’s not willing to listen.” He shrugged, picked up his car keys from the table and left, slamming the door behind him.

  My lips turned up in a sly smile. “Well that worked. He’ll probably go and fuck Rebecca now,” I laughed. George’s hand shot out and slapped me, straight across the cheek. My hand shot up to my face and I stared at him, absolutely stunned.

  He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry Princess, I shouldn’t have done that, but nothing is getting through to you,” he apologised.

  I stood up, the pain inside outweighing the pain in my cheek. Tears threatened my eyes, George had never raised his hand to me before and the overwhelming hurt from it broke me. I walked into the hallway, slipped on my pumps and slammed the door behind me.

  I walked for what seemed like hours, aimlessly wandering, not caring where I was going or ending up. I sat on the bench in the local park, staring at the children playing happily on the swings, wondering if my child would have liked the park, would they have squealed when I pushed them high or screamed on the roundabout, would it have had Mason’s eyes and brown hair or my copper curls?

  It had started to rain and I relished in its refreshment, tilting my head back and closing my eyes as the heavens opened and the torrential storm battered at my face and body, the rain drops mingling with my tears as I sobbed and sobbed, my knees held tight to my body as I howled.

  I was suddenly walking again, my legs leading my body as they carried me onwards in a haze; the rain still beating my poor body, my aching and broken body. They didn’t stop until I found myself on Mason’s doorstep, pounding on his front door.