Camelot Dungeon

by Galen Wolf

  'You need to button your lip, Henry,' Bernard says. 'We're on a stealthy mission.'

  'A raid?' The mule looks excited. 'That's cool.'

  'Henry,' I try to say as gently as I can. 'Bernard is right. Really don't be talking when we're tracking the enemy.'

  He looks offended. 'As if I would. I'm the least talkative mule, I know.'

  'Henry, please.'

  And then he's quiet.

  The owl Blodeuwedd flaps down from the sky. 'Hey, long time.'

  'We've been underground,' I say.

  'I know. Wasn't coming down there. Have you missed my advice?'

  I think of telling her the truth but instead I'm diplomatic. 'Your advice always adds value, Blodeuwedd.'

  'Yeah, sure. But you might need me now. I can fly.'

  'Good point,' Bernard says.

  Blodeuwedd blinks at him. 'I don't normally come to Gorrow unless he's alone. Just I haven't seen him for ages, so I thought I'd bend my rule.'

  Henry the mule says, 'You always come when I'm here. And you sit on my neck with your sharp claws. I don't like it.'

  Blodeuwedd looks at the mule disdainfully. Then turns to me, eyes filming over with her weird inner eyelid for a second. 'So do we have a plan?'

  Henry says, 'He doesn't want people talking. Even animals. Says it'll let the cat out of the bag.'

  Blodeuwedd ignores him. 'Like I was saying, Gorrow — you got a plan?'

  I nod.

  'Which is?'

  'We're heading north.'

  I click my tongue and Spirit moves off. He says least and I like him best. I don't mind Bernard, Henry and Blodeuwedd, but they aren't helping my thought processes, which go like this: Carrionburg doesn't have its own breweries. Their NPCs drink beer instead of food, just like ours do. So that means they need to get their beer shipped in. Because King Arthur's armies are miles away that's easy for them. They just send their beer and other goods on wagon trains. I break my silence to say to Bernard, 'I'm guessing they send the wagon trains over the moors from New World Order?'

  Bernard nods. New World Order is a town taken over by Evil forces months ago. It used to be called Hexham. He says, 'I still can't believe they called it New World Order.'

  'Somebody's got a sense of humor.'

  As we ride over the moors, we see no one. I make sure we ride a long way north, a long way from the dungeon, so we don't get connected with it. The is no longer visible. A few vampire bats are out hunting in the daylight. Blodeuwedd shudders. 'I'm immortal and I still hate those things.'

  Henry says, 'I'm not and I hate them more. It's said they particularly favor mule meat.'

  Hard to believe but there's no accounting for taste.

  Then we see the route through the heather that goes over the rolling moor, north east, all the way to New World Order. All the time we've been riding, I've been thinking. I decide to tell Bernard my new plan.

  'They're so confident now up here, these Evil guys. They think we're done and dusted and they can act as they please.'

  'You want them to think we're done and dusted.'

  'Not precisely. I want them to think Silver Drift is. I don't want them sniffing around there, but what if there was a Knight of Arthur, I don't know...' I glance at my shield. 'A mysterious green knight? Who rode around, coming from nowhere, striking where they least expect it...'

  'Sounds like a movie trailer,' Henry says.

  I ignore him. 'But really. Then they'd have to divert resources up here, away from the fight against the King.'

  'Sounds like a plan. But we'd need to be careful we didn't lead them back to Silver Drift, or associate this mysterious green knight with our dungeon.'

  'Obviously.'

  We stop on a bluff and look out. We can see for miles from here even through the black and red haze.

  As we sit there on our mounts, Blodeuwedd fidgeting and preening, Bernard gets into the idea.

  'So, you're the mysterious Green Knight. You'd have to change your livery. But you've got your visor so they won't see your face. And me, hang on a minute,' He conjures a red and white spotted handkerchief from his inventory somewhere and applies it to the bottom of his face. 'And me, well, I'm the mysterious Green Knight's Mysterious Alchemist pal. How 'bout that?'

  'Yeah. Something like that.'

  'Together we strike fear into the hearts of the enemy. They don't know where we come from, they don't know who we are, they don't know where we'll strike next. Soon legends grow about us. The enemy talk about us in hushed whispers around their campfires and huddle closer, hands on weapons when they think we're around.' He smiles and wags his finger. 'But those who support the King, they are heartened. Every time they hear of our victories, they smile a little wider. They know that the King is not defeated! They know that there is hope! They know that we are the Light in the North, the flame of resistance to evil!"

  'I think you're getting carried away,' Henry says, looking up, a mouthful of grass going round and round his mouth as he chomps.

  Bernard looks at me, his eyes agleam. 'But that's it isn't it?'

  I shrug. 'Something like that. Sure.'

  Blodeuwedd looks north east then says, 'Waggon train.'

  At last. I pull down my visor. 'Take a look, Blod?'

  The owl says, 'Don't call me Blod. I'm Blodeuwedd.' but she takes off and flies rapidly north east. Being my advisor she can send me messages. After ten minutes she sends:

  Blodeuwedd: Three wagons. First's loaded up with beer. Second with timber. Third with coal.

  We can definitely use the first. We can almost certainly find a use for the second and I'll think of something for the third.

  'We're up,' I say.

  Bernard puts on his ridiculous red and white handkerchief. He says, 'You're not the Green Knight yet, you're still carrying the insignia of Sir Gorrow of the Bloody Field. He's right. I go into my HUD. There's a cosmetic tab and I see myself laid out there as an icon. There's an option to color it. This is not included in the regular sub, so I have to pay extra for it to Miskatonic. I send over my dollars and begin. I color myself a bright grass green. It's lurid, it's possibly tasteless, but it's something striking that the enemy will remember and that's what I want. I color my armor green, my pennant green, my shield green.

  'There you go. The Green Knight.'

  'The Mysterious Green Knight... with his Mysterious Alchemist Sidekick.'

  I roll my eyes and click my tongue and with slight pressure of my heels, Spirit moves forward in a walk.

  The wagon train is closer now. If they've seen us they don't seem alarmed. They don't expect any opposition this far north. I speed up and we're trotting and onto the road. They keep rolling on toward us, their mules pulling while the NPCs whip them.

  Me: What are the guards?

  Blodeuwedd: Six hobgoblins. A driver and a guard on each wagon.

  Very lightly armed. This will almost be too easy.

  Blodeuwedd returns to balance on my shoulder as we trot forward.

  Henry says, 'I'm scared. I don't want to die.'

  Blodeuwedd squawks. 'Shut your pie hole. We're about to get into a fight.'

  Henry brays, 'It's okay for you for two reasons: a) you're not going to be fighting, and b) you're immortal and can't die anyway.'

  Blodeuwedd is unrepentant. 'I think you're mistaking me for someone who cares.'

  'Fat chance of that.'

  'Henry,' I say, kindly, looking over to him. 'Try to be brave.'

  'Sure boss. Okay boss.' His eyes are rolling and he's showing his teeth, but it's the first time he's ever done what I said without arguing about it.

  We're close now. The hobgoblins realize that we aren't their friends. They draw their swords. I see Bernard has drawn his flaming alchemical sword. I shout to him, 'Take the second cart. I'll take the first.'

  Bernard nods and spurs Henry into a gallop, pulling away from us and veering slightly left to avoid the first wagon. The mule looks terrified.

  Spirit runs like a
machine. His hooves pound the turf. The rhythm is almost soothing. I take my lance, the grass green pennant fluttering in the wind, the crystal tip glittering in a sudden ray of sunshine as the clouds unexpectedly break above us.

  The wagons keep on coming. They maybe think they have a chance. I couch the lance like a knight in the lists. I'm aiming for the driver. I've gone slightly right so I'm going to pass the wagon that side. With my knees I urge Spirit into a gallop. I hear him snort and pull ahead.

  His hooves thud. I can see the hobgoblin now. He's too stupid to be scared.

  And then my lance hits him. The driver is pierced by the crystal. They're higher level than the Hobgoblins I've met before and their armor is better, but it's still not enough.

 

 

  The lance goes through his crystal and the driver falls dead off the wagon and bumps and bounces into the heather beside the road. Without his control, the mules start to stop. The hobgoblin guard leaps at me, swinging his scimitar. The blade is edged with a red fire.

 

 

  He can't get through my armor but I only have 50% fire resistance so he's going to get something through, no matter how puny. I put my lance away and pull out my sword that blazes with fiery power in three colors. I give a backhanded slash and catch him as he stands on the wagon’s running board, preparing to hit me again.

 

 

 

  The Hobgoblin guard falls back dead. That's the beer wagon now ours. I look over to see Bernard is dispatching the last of his hobgoblins. It's good to be Level 13. I need those skill points.

  As they see us, the crew of the third wagon disembark and run for their lives.

  'Critical morale failure.' I grin, pulling up my visor. Spirit pants and regains his breath.

  'After them?' Bernard asks.

  I shake my head. 'We want them to tell everyone about the Mysterious Green Knight and his Mysterious Alchemist sidekick, don't we?'

  'Oh yeah. I forgot. When my bloodlust's up I just want to kill kill kill.'

  'And I thought you were such a mild-mannered guy when I first met you.'

  'Appearances can be deceiving. That was easy but they'll put more guards on next time.'

  I lean forward and pat Spirit's neck. 'I'm not worried. Let them do that.'

  Henry is very excited. 'Wow! That was awesome. The adrenalin rush!'

  'Do NPCs had adrenalin?' I ask Blodeuwedd.

  'The AI equivalent.'

  Henry's muttering, 'I need to get into another fight. Can we go hunt some more of them down and kill them like the dogs they are?'

  I raise my eyebrows.

  Bernard says, 'I think you're getting carried away, Henry.'

  I say, 'Let's get these comms home. I know some miners who need a drink.'

  13

  ENTER A WIZARD

  When we get back to the dungeon, Blodeuwedd says goodbye and flies off. We dismount and I lead Spirit, and Bernard leads Henry through the dungeon entrance which is now blackened by fire as well as hacked by swords.

  Bernard points out the damage.

  'Add to its character,' I say.

  Spirit doesn't really want to say farewell to the sunlight, but we have to go in. I pat his nose. 'Don't worry, boy. Soon you'll have a new field to graze in.'

  We're going to get some NPCs to help us unload the beer and other comms when I notice that the Paladin mob isn't there. Maybe he's been killed? I slow down and motion for Bernard to stop. We could go into observation mode, but if there are any adventurers in the dungeon, they might kill the horses and even try to steal the beer.

  I decide to walk in unhidden. I stand in the entrance corridor and yell, 'Hey!'

  My voice echoes in the stone passageway but there's no response. I look around and see that the slime is on the wall by the door where I placed it. It's not dead, it's just not been triggered. Curious.

  I turn to Bernard and shrug and he leads Henry forward. 'Is there gonna be another fight? Is there?' The mule says.

  'Not quite yet, Henry.'

  'Pity.'

  'You'll get scared again,' Bernard says.

  'No, I won't.'

  He most certainly will, but hey. He did pretty well in his first battle. I go get Spirit and lead him by his reins. He snorts and tosses his head from being underground again. As we go into the Tapestry Room, I see the shadow of the cave bear against the far wall, unmoving. In the middle of the floor the treasure left by Drakhnar has gone.

  'Somebody's been here,' I say.

  'Probably been more adventurers. That's what you want.'

  I look around. There's something different about the place. I can't put my finger on it. Then I check the tab for the dungeon. It's all the same until I notice by the name it has:

 

  What does that mean? Then I realize the dungeon has levelled while we've been away. I wonder why I didn't get a notification and then I see that push notifications are off for the dungeon. I turn them on again.

  'The dungeon levelled.'

  'That's good isn't it?'

  I'm frowning. 'Yes, of course, but it happened when I was away.'

  'Control freak.'

  He makes me laugh. Bernard's good for me I decide.

  We go down the dead end corridor that leads back to the Silver Drift settlement. I'm puzzled to find the Paladin at the end of the corridor, untriggered. Either he walked there or someone moved him. Then I hover over him and I get the label:

  Name: Paladin

  Type: Human

  Level: Three

  Health: 200

  Dodge: 10

  Armor: 125

  To Hit: 50

  Damage: 25

  Special: Holy Sword (63)

  XP Value: 120

  It seems my paladin has levelled when the dungeon levelled. 'Wait here with the horses,' I say.

  'Horse and mule,' Henry yaps.

  'Whatever.'

  I go back to check the Cave Bear.

  Name: Cave Bear

  Type: Animal

  Level: Two

  Health: 200

  Dodge: 30

  To Hit: 40

  Special: Death Hug

  XP Value: 80

  Yes, their stats have all improved, and the bear has got a new special attack from levelling. That must be what happens when a dungeon levels. I go back to Bernard and tell him my discovery.

  'Yeah, that's right.'

  'You knew?'

  'Yup.'

  'How come?'

  'I read the forums. Your chance to clone dropped adventurer loot goes up to 10% too, at Level 2, then continues to improve.

  Bernard opens the connecting door with his brass key, then we're through to the mine. I get the NPC farmers to come and help me unload the wagons that we left outside the main door because we couldn't fit them through. I don't want to leave the carts out there unattended. First of course I let them drink beer. I watch them produce leather tankards from their inventories and pour themselves foaming beer from the taps on the kegs. They fill up the beer, knock it straight back and the one with the long straight straw blond hair wipes the scum from his mouth with the back of his hand and lets out a long, 'Ahhhhh'.

  He looks hungrily at the tap which drips clear brown beer onto the muddy stones of the dungeon entrance.

  I nod. 'Sure. Have another pint.' Both of them do. One gazes longingly at the sky. 'Nice to see clouds.'

  'I hope it rains,' says the other. 'It never rains underground.'

  'Don't worry,' I say. 'Soon we'll be out in the Secret Valley, then you'll be able to grow tired of rain and clouds.'

  I get them to bring the kegs of beer inside the dungeon. Once they do that they unload the timber and the coal. They are amazingly strong and
don't seem to tire now they're full of beer.

  They pile up the comms in separate heaps in the Tapestry Room and then I unhitch the mules from the captured wagons and lead them in. Once we're all in, I lock the dungeon door behind us. We're not open for business. Not just now.

  Inside the settlement I find Peter, Geraint and Simon and get them to help the farmer NPCs. I need them to deliver beer to the mines.

  We're almost two late, two of the miners have died of hunger and their bodies disappeared in a dust of pixels to return back to the code. I'm at the rock face with Thorvald and he makes sure his guys get their beer before he takes any.

  'Drink as much as you want,' I say.

  When he's slaked his thirst, I ask him how long now. I'm conscious of my nagging him, always asking the same question.

  'I honestly don't know boss. I think Jason's surveying was off. But we'll get there. We're all drunk up now and raring to go. I'll let you know when we break through.'

  As I walk back down the Long Corridor, I hear them beginning to sing drunkenly, then comes the welcome sound of mattocks against stone.

  I go back to my chamber and Fitheach appears. 'Thanks for the beer. My friars were most appreciative.'

  'They're welcome. How's it going?'

  He sits on a rock. 'I hope you didn't mind me messing with your dungeon when you were away.'

  'It was you?' But of course it had to be him, only the Level bosses and me have keys.

  'Adventurers came in and there was no loot, so I didn't want to miss the xp. Geraint and I restocked it with loot and I moved your paladin. It killed the first adventurers before they'd really set foot inside, so I put it further back.'

  'But we got the xp from the death adventurers, right?'

  'Of course. But a dungeon where you get killed as soon as you step in is bad for business. People give up.'

  I nod. He's right. I don't mind him moving the paladin. I see Peter the Silent enter behind him. He puts up his hand to say hi. Fitheach turns round .'Yeah, Peter helped too.'

  Peter smiles shyly. 'I hope you like the new trap.'

  Fitheach grins. 'We both worked on it.'

  I hadn't noticed a new trap, but then I wasn't looking for one and it wouldn't trigger for me anyway. 'What is it?' I ask.

  'It's a Ghost Voice trap.'