by R. J. Adams
Both detectives shift in their chairs as if feeling uncomfortable being told what to do by a woman. Or could be that they see the pain and anger in my face and they are simply wasting my time, who knows.
“I think we’re all done here,” Detective Clark stands to his feet, “if you think of anything that can be of any help please call me. You are free to return to your house also if you wish.”
I shudder at the thought, why would I want to go back there after what has happened? I will never be able to look at it in the same way ever again. The thought makes me sick.
As I leave the interview room, Toby is at reception. He is stood next to someone being checked in, he isn’t wearing his uniform as I would have thought; he looks so handsome.
“Hey,” he smiles as he sees me.
“Hi,” I shyly smile back.
“Do you need a key for the house?”
“Umm, you don’t mind me staying there? I cannot go back to mine; I don’t think I ever can.”
He takes me to one side and hands me his keys, “here take mine for now and I will sort you a spare, you will need to think about what to do with that house, we can have a chat later, I’m on duty until about ten tonight, help yourself to anything.”
I take his keys and blush. This officer, this man is the kindest man I have ever met. The lady officer comes out and gives me my phone back, which was quick! I head out of the station and start heading towards the hospital, I am dreading this.
I reach the hospital and stand outside the large gates closed, locked and surrounded by guards. They approach the other side of the gate giving me a stern look.
They open the gates and direct me to the man stood in a booth next to another gate, “can I help you miss?”
“Uhh, yes I’m here to see Sophia Rhodes, she was brought in last night? I’m her cousin.”
He picks up the phone, mumbles something whilst looking at me and making me feel awkward, then finally gives a nod to the other guard to open the gate and let me in.
“Please go to reception, they will take you where you need to go,” he points as the gates in-front open up.
I get to reception and am given a visitor pass then escorted through the hallways to an office. I see no patients; hear no sounds of what you would expect to hear, just the sounds of mumbled doctors voices and the clatter of feet on the shiny wooden floors.
I am placed in a large oak furniture filled office with a desk so big three people could lay across it, and still not fall off, any need?
Awards, degrees and certificates cover the wall all the way around, this doctor is very proud and quite clearly gets paid far too much money.
As a doctor enters in a smart shirt, tie and trousers wearing a long white doctor’s coat over the top, I find myself feeling very uncomfortable.
“Miss Watts is it?” he asks barely lifting his head from his notebook to look at me.
“Yes, I’m here about Sophia.”
He sits in his large office chair, which makes him look almost like a hobbit it’s that large, “I’m Doctor Barton, ahh yes. Well, after reviewing her myself I can say I do not think you are equipped to look after her and admitting her into state care is the best thing for her and for you.”
“I know,” I sigh sadly, “my mother was the one who looked after her and after everything she has been through I don’t want her to feel abandoned by me.”
“She is a very sick girl my dear, the treatment she requires can only be provided to her in our care. Now, as you are a minor you cannot waive the rights for us to admit her, we are going to apply to Judge to have her involuntary admitted for psychiatric care. I have compiled a file of evidence to this matter.”
“So my opinion or concerns are not taken into account?” I interrupt him abruptly.
He shakes his head, “unfortunately not. As you are not her legal guardian and you are only a minor, this decision is not down to you, nor does your opinion in this instance have any effect on the decisions made.”
My stomach sinks. I feel like I am letting her down, letting my mother down, letting my family down. I don’t have a choice but to let her remain here.
“When I’m eighteen can I then become her guardian or take her out of here?”
He leans forward placing his hand neatly together on the desk, “Miss Watts, it’s not that simple. Yes you can apply to become her legal guardian but if she is in our care then it will be down our experts whether or not she is fit to leave.”
So basically no matter what I do he is going to halt any chances of her ever coming home. “Can I see her?” I ask.
He nods. He takes me out of the room and leads me down to a set of stairway that feels cold and spooky. Surely there are lifts?
I follow him down the staircase, each platform has a door coming off but instead we keep going.
“This is where we house our most severe cases,” he advises.
“By cases, do you mean patients? They are still people doctor regardless of their illness.”
He gives a slight mumble of agreement. As we reach the level needed, we exit and upon opening the door I am met by security gates, a guard and a long hall on the other side.
I can hear screams, people shouting, things banging and I am actually afraid. The corridor seems to go on for miles, as I walk behind the doctor I get a sense something is behind me. I turn and see nothing.
What my eyes don’t see my body certainly feels, something is here with me, something is following me. I can sense it.
Chapter 9
I accidently bump into the back of the doctor not realising he has stopped outside the door. I’m too busy looking around me to see what it is I know is following me.
I feel the hairs on my body stand up on end and a cold chill go down my spine. As he turns the key in the door I feel everything slow down around me. The sound of the lock is emphasised and his key turning is extremely slowly.
I feel something icy brush against my arm, as I turn and look there is the black figure once again with its glowing eyes looking directly at me. It whispers, ‘she is not what she seems, it’s all a lie.’
I’m scared but I’m desperate to know, I keep looking at it but it says nothing further and once again disappears. This thing, whoever or whatever it is seems to be talking about Sophia. But why shouldn’t I trust her? Who am I meant to be saving? What has she lied about? All questions I must somehow find answers to.
I snap out of whatever world I was in, as the door opens. The doctor looks at me and as I am about to enter he stops me, looking at me with concern, “remember she is very sick, now she has had some medication this morning however be cautious, there will be a guard right outside if you need him.”
Thanks for that, now I’m even more nervous that I was before. I walk slowly and cautiously into her room. She is sat there on her bed silently looking out of the window.
Her hair hasn’t been brushed, she has scratches on her face, I will assume those were the ones she done a couple of days ago and she is wearing some sort of hospital clothing.
“Sophia, are you alright?” But she doesn’t say a word. “Sophia, I’m so sorry, I have to ask you this, do you know what happened to my mother?” Getting to the point but again she says nothing, she doesn’t even flinch.
I sit on a small stool directly in-front of her. Her eyes are looking upwards and her mouth is half open. “Sophia, I need you to speak to me, do you know what happened? Do you know where you are?”
I try to get some sense out of her but it’s like she is not the same person she was when she was at home. Yes, she was mental but she seems to have deteriorated into full blown insane, like there is nothing left in her mind.
I give up and go to leave, but then I hear her whisper, “you better watch out,” she whispers repeatedly.
I quickly turn, “Sophia? I better watch out for what?” As I go over to her hoping she is about to tell me something, I am shocked by the smile on her face. The evil grin from ear to ear that sends chills down
my spine.
She begins to cackle under her breath. Feeling nervous I bang on the door for the guard to let me out. Why hasn’t he opened it straight away, he is meant to be directly outside!
She turns and looks at me, her eyes now fixed on mine, “you will never save him, you are weak. Death will find you.” As the door opens, she returns to her zombie-like state, fearful, I leave quickly.
As I get outside the hospital, I take a deep breath letting the pouring rain slide down over my face. How can she be like she used to be and then go back to a zombified state? Is that normal?
I head back to Toby’s, my head racing with thoughts of the day. The interview, Sophia, the house, the crime scene, will this ever get any easier?
The house is quiet. I walk around exploring the house and it’s beautiful features. He really is nice and clean for a single guy. I still cannot believe he has been so helpful and so kind. I was beginning to give up on people, always being the one who has been let down, it’s still early days though.
I look at the time and see it is 6pm, it’s been a long ass day. As I tuck into a microwave meal I found in the fridge, I hear the key turn in the front door.
“Hey,” Toby smiles as he walks in, “I have something for you.” He walks over to me carrying what I imagine to be a letter of some sort, he hands me the envelope and the address is to my house. I didn’t see any mail when I went there.
“How did you get this?” I ask him curious as to how he got my mail.
“A policeman picked it up this morning before they left, they thought you might want it and you left before someone could hand it to you.”
Seems plausible I guess. I don’t recognise the handwriting; I’m too scared to open it. I never ever receive mail, I haven’t even applied to colleges yet so who would be sending me mail?
I inspect the envelope trying to guess where this could have come from. I see nothing that indicates where this has come from.
When I open the letter, there is a stamp from a prison saying the letter is ‘approved.’ I gulp; the only person I know in prison is Sophia’s step-dad. Curiosity gets the better of me and I read what he has to say;
Dear Rayne,
I know I am the last person you expected to hear from and I hope this letter reaches you in good health and that it does actually reach you, I am hoping no-one has read this and stopped you from reading this, or hopefully they have not hidden it from you.
I cannot explain too much but I need to speak with you. I want to see you in person. Attached to this letter should be a request for a visit. I would appreciate if you could fill it in and come visit me soon. Please do this; there is so much you don’t know.
I look forward to seeing you.
Kindest Regards,
Joe
I stare at the letter over and over. He is on death row. What could he possibly have to say to me and why now? I was there at the trial, I know what happened. I know the vile things that he did.
“What is it?” Toby asks making me jump, “sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Do I tell him? Wait, no, he could stop me and part of me wants to know what he has to say and the other part of me wants to tell him he can go fuck himself. He tore my family apart. “Umm it’s nothing, just some school stuff I have applied for, you know, for extra credit,” I lie.
Just as Toby goes to speak, we are interrupted by my ringing phone. I look and see it is Jack, once again trying to get hold of me.
I watch as the phone rings, his name flashing there in-front of me, questioning myself whether or not I should answer it.
“Someone important?” Toby asks being nosey leaning over me, but I don’t respond to him.
Eventually the phone stops ringing, assuming it has now gone to my answer machine, but within seconds it is ringing again. I know I have to face him at some point. I excuse myself politely and head to the bedroom.
Taking a deep breath I pick it up “what do you want?” I snap.
“Rayne,” his voice is shaky, “finally you answer; please don’t hang up on me.”
“Give me one good reason why I should stay here talking to you?”
“I thought you would have understood?”
“Yeah, maybe I would have if you had come to me instead of running away. How could you? How could you leave me?”
“I just needed some time, my head was a mess and I didn’t know what to do,” sadness fills his voice, “I knew I had hurt you that’s why I have been trying to get hold of you.”
“I needed you,” I sob, “you have no idea what the fuck I have been through.”
“And you have no idea what I have been through,” he snaps back at me.
The sound of his voice is breaking my heart. I can hear the sadness, the pain and the guilt filtering down the other end of the line. I want to run into his arms, hold him and kiss but I can’t. I’m so angry with him, so hurt by his actions.
“You’re right, I don’t know what the fuck you have been through, why? Because instead of coming to me you ran away like a coward whilst I was back here picking up the pieces of my broken heart from you and having to deal with the fact my mother has been murdered and Sophia is in psychiatric care,” I snap blurting out everything.
He doesn’t say anything straight away; my words are met with silence and heavy breathing. ‘Yeah that’s right Jack, you hurt me and left me all alone to deal with this shit, you just stand there on the other end of the phone and soak that information right in’ my inner voice is screaming.
“I’m....I’m so sorry,” he begins to sob, “I should have been there.”
“That’s right, you should have just like I would have been there for you, holding your hand and helping you through whatever it is you’re going through,” I take a deep breath, “I cannot talk to you right now, look please just give me some time, I need time to get over what you did, my mum, just....please.”
“Ok,” he sobs sniffling on the other end, “I will be here waiting, I love you.”
“Goodbye Jack,” and without further words I hand up. I break down in tears. All I want is to be in his arms, I wanted to say ‘I love you too’ but how can I? He left me, he hurt me.
I lie on the bed and curl up into a ball, my god I do wish he was here with me; I wish my mom was here. I feel so alone!
I quickly grab the prisoner visitor’s card and fill it in, I will have to hand this to the guard tomorrow, I think I will need to call them to let them know.
Chapter 10
Staring out of the window into the large field of land outside, I wonder was I too hard on him. I mean, I’m a mess after what happened and everything that has been building up inside me I took out on him.
He found out something terrible, if my father had stuck around, and well was at least a nice father and kept in contact, I too would be devastated if I found out my mother had deceived me. I mean, to find out your life has been a lie, it’s hard, of course it would be hard.
I pick up the phone and open up a message, I start typing but then delete it, I type again but once again delete it. My god I don’t know what to say. He sucks me in so easily. I’m mad at him and yet, my heart, my body and my lips yearn for him.
There is a knock at my door, I take it as a sign and put the phone down on the table and go, Toby is there. His handsome smile is reaching from ear to ear, his tender eyes looking right at me.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I state before he even says a word.
“I wasn’t going to say you did, I have the day off tomorrow, as it’s Saturday was thinking maybe I could take you somewhere, get your mind off everything.”
He is tempting, but I want to go to the prison tomorrow. I want to know what Joe has to say. “Thank you but I’m going over a friend’s house tomorrow to catch up on the school work that I missed today. People are already going to be saying malicious things about me, if I fail to show my face or do my schoolwork, it will just be even worse.”
“Ok,” he shrugs still smil
ing, “then fancy joining me for a nice cup of tea?” He pushes, like he is trying to get me to spend time with him.
Jack is still swirling around in my head and my heart. As charming as Toby is, and not to mention good looking, I cannot let myself get close to him. How could I when I belong to Jack, and even though he and I broke up, I still feel like his girl.
Sensing my hesitation, he leans in on the door-frame, his smile turns cheeky, “come on, I’m not going to hurt you, I’d never do that.”
Sitting on the couch, the log fire burning and a fluffy blanket over us, we dive into conversation about anything and everything. As time passes I learn a lot about him, he tells me things about himself, some strange and I share things with him, his stories makes me laugh. I feel like I haven’t laughed in years.
“So you’re thinking of law school?” He asks, his fingers tapping his glass of wine.
“Yeah, to be honest I’m not sure. I want to do so many things.... I always used to say to,” but then I pause, I realise I am about to start mentioning Jack and that’s a conversation I don’t want to get into, it does hurts to mention his name, “to someone I knew, I’m too fussy to pick one thing, I will probably end up studying everything and be in college for ten years,” I laugh.
He laughs with me, “well, it’s good to keep your options open, you have a while to decide yet, you never know, what you want may be right in-front of you,” he grins.
Not to sound big headed but is he hitting on me? He is much older than I, in a full time job and I am still in school. No way, I’m imagining it, what could he possibly see in me.
Just then I feel a chill, a cold icy chill brush over my skin as if something just touched me. I shiver and look around; Toby seems to be still, very still. Am I dreaming?
