by R. J. Adams
I get up from the sofa and everything goes black, I hear the sound of gravel crunching together under my feet, I look up to see a burnt out house and a black figure in the window which quickly moves.
Ash falls down over my head, the sky is black and I am surrounded by greyness. I run into the house after the ghostly black figure, I need to find out who it is, I call out but it moves.
I go into the house, nervous and shaking. The furniture is completely untouched, the house seems like it suffered a fire, ash falls down above me but the furniture is perfect.
I look around and realise this is familiar, it is Sophia’s house, but her house was never set on fire. Joe tried to kill her but he never burned the house down.
I feel a cold breath on the back of my neck, I turn to be confronted by the black figure and its scary glowing eyes, its bony hand grabs me, “you must go see him, you must find out the truth,” it whispers.
“What? What is the truth? Tell me please who the hell you are,” my voice echoes in the greyness of the burnt house.
“You must find out the truth, please,” and with those words it disappears.
I look behind me to see me sat on the couch with Toby, laughing and joking away. I walk towards myself, my mind completely confused by what my eyes see; how am I looking at myself?
I reach the couch and stand next to me, leaning down to touch my own arm, then myself sat on the couch turns and looks directly up into my eyes, as I jump back I am suddenly then sat on the couch facing Toby.
“Are you alright?” he asks looking to the side, “did you see something?”
I look over and then back at him, “no nothing, just thought I heard something, must have been the wind.” I shrug trying to hide my fear.
What the hell just happened to me? Was that a vision? Do I have visions now, or am I going crazy. One thing is for sure, I need to see Joe tomorrow, and maybe a priest or something. I fear I am losing my mind.
“Do you mind if I go to bed, I’m feeling quite tired?”
Toby looks at me, there is a slight look of disappointment on his face quickly followed by a smile, “no of course not.”
I excuse myself and head to my room. Catching my breath and gathering my thoughts I pray to myself I am not going crazy. These visions, I have only had them in the past few months. They started as dreams but now seem to be happening when I’m awake.
I never said anything to anyone, only Jack. I didn’t want people to think I’m crazy, if I think it sounds crazy god knows what other people will think.
I pick up my phone, once again contemplating on texting Jack, my fingers scroll over the keys wanting to type ‘I need you’ but I cannot bring myself to do it.
I do need him, my heart is aching but my mind is telling me that I would be a fool if I went back there. Am I a fool? Is it foolish to love someone like Jack? He has been there my whole life, friends first and then forming into romance, yes he has hurt me but everyone deserves a second chance don’t they?
Pacing backwards and forwards, tapping my fingers on my phone, I am questioning myself, ‘shall I, won’t I, shall I, won’t I’ over and over again like a broken record.
I hear a slight tapping at my bedroom door. Opening the door I see Toby, a look of care and worry on his face, “I heard you pacing, you’re not alright are you?”
I sigh. My mind is racing, my heart is breaking and right now I want to scream, so no I’m not okay, but I shouldn’t really go into detail, I am happy he is here though, happy for the distraction.
“I’m fine, just some things to think about is all,” I smile softly.
“Look, I know you don’t know me that well but you can talk to me, I will listen, I will always listen to you,” his charming smile draws me in like I want to omit all but I can’t, I cannot open myself to someone else to be hurt or judged.
“Come on, you’re not ready for bed, come sit with me,” he urges holding his hand out to me once again, his eyes so seductive, so inviting.
Hesitantly, I take his hand and he leads me back to the sofa where he chooses to sit beside me and pull me into him. He reminds me of Jack, those eyes, that smile, the things I loved about him. His soft voice that gave me butterflies, his warm embrace, every time I was there with Jack that was the safest place in the world.
Listening to Toby’s heartbeat I begin to feel relaxed, but it isn’t him I picture. I picture being in Jack’s arms, is that wrong? I don’t say anything; I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
“This is nice,” he mumbles as I feel him breathing in the scent of my hair.
“Yeah, it’s....lovely I guess.”
“You seem so hesitant, I’m not like other guys Rayne, I’m not going to hurt you, I would always protect you,” he tells me, his voice so soft and gentle.
I’ve heard that before! “It’s not that, Toby you’re lovely and I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me, but there is so much going on in my head right now, so much in my heart, it’s really hard to explain,” I hold back tears, “I have been hurt by those I trusted, left alone by those who loved me and now I am facing an uncertain future.”
He lifts my head and looks deep into my eyes, “well, I’m not like any of those people Rayne, I am something you never saw coming, but you know we have a connection,” his mouth curls up and a cheeky sparkle glints in his eyes.
I pull back, cautious of his words. He moves with me and leans in, I lie backwards on the couch and Toby is then leaning over me. With his naughty smile, he comes in for kill and kisses me.
Chapter 11
I wake up the next morning with mixed feelings of nervous, guilt and dread. Today I paying Joe a visit, the thought makes me feel sick but I need to hear what he has to say, especially after my dreams, or visions, whatever they are.
As I get out of bed and stretch, my mind flashes back to last night, Toby leaning over and kissing me. His lips, his soft lips touching mine and I didn’t pull back.
My stomach wretches with guilt! How could I not pull away, lord why did I let him kiss me?
If Jack found out he would be so hurt. ‘Wait’ I stop myself. Jack hurt me, he left me, abandoned me and in turn it ended our relationship. Why should I feel guilty for one kiss? Maybe it’s because I feel like I am still his girl.
I hear a tap on my door. I know that’s Toby but I cannot face him. I feel so embarrassed I let him kiss me when I’m feeling so low. The funny thing is it felt like nothing, I didn’t feel a connection when he kissed me, no attachment to him, no romantic feelings whatsoever. Is Toby thinking there is more to the kiss than there is?
I open the door slowly and pop my head around, “hey, just getting dressed, everything ok?”
He nods, “yeah, I know you’re busy today but was hoping maybe we could have a chat later? I’ll cook some food and we can chill with some wine.”
I give him a funny look, “Umm, I’m seventeen, bit too young to drink I think.”
He laughs, “it’s wine and I’m sure it will be okay to have one with your meal.”
“Umm, sure okay, look I’m running late so can I catch up with you later?”
“Sure, I’ll be doing dinner around about seven, see you then,” he stands there for a while, like he is hoping for something but I give a quick goodbye and shut the door.
Me and him later with wine! Is that wise? Oh god I don’t know, all I know is I need to go and see Joe and find out why I am seeing things I shouldn’t be seeing.
On my way to the prison I begin to feel sick. I’m not sure if it’s just a feeling or if I am actually going to throw up. I have never been to a prison before, never known anyone to be in one, I have no idea what to expect.
I get off the prison shuttle bus outside large gates surrounded by wires and officers with guns. The gates open and I am searched upon arrival. Handing in my visitor’s card the officer looks at me.
He takes the card and inspects it closely, “this prisoner is on D-Block, that’s death row.” He looks at my confused
face, I have no idea what he is talking about, “you will have to go to reception, as you are not allowed to see this prisoner in the visiting room.”
“I’m sorry, visiting room?” I look back at him confused.
“Yes ma’am, where all visits occur, this prisoner is on death row, have you been here before?” He asks, I shake my head, terrified, “okay,” he sighs, “please go to the reception and show them this card, they will escort you to where you will be able to see and speak to the prisoner, please wear your visitors badge at all times.”
I take the card from him and hastily walk to the reception, wanting to get out of the presence of the officers with very large guns.
I am led into a room with separation devises and phones on the walls. It only looks familiar to me because I have seen it in movies. I sit n the chair patiently waiting, clicking my fingers with nerves.
There in the corner of my eye, in a nasty coloured prison jump suit, I see him, Joe. He looks rough, he used to be so clean shaven, hair nicely trimmed and wore nice clothes but this him now, he is just a mess of the man I once knew.
He sees me and smiles instantly. His chains rattle as he makes his way to the other side of the partition and sits in-front of me.
Guards stand not far from him on the other side as he picks up the phone, I pick up the phone and for the first time in a long time I hear his voice.
“I’m so glad you came and that you managed to get my letter, I thought your mom would have intercepted it,” he smiles with relief, his voice seems strained.
“My mom is dead,” I blurt out, “why am I here Joe? What could you possibly have to tell me that I don’t already know,” looking at him I feel so angry, this is the man that destroyed my family, but now a part of me feels sorry for this man who is so clearly worn down and beaten.
“Oh Rayne,” he sighs placing his head into his hands, “you don’t know everything, believe me.”
Images of my visions flash through my head, curious I lean forward, “tell me what I don’t know, why I felt the need after some strange dreams to come here.”
“Dreams?” he perks up, “I have been having strange dreams too, a figure, a black figure telling me it will be okay. Sometimes I think I see it when I’m awake.”
I look at the fear on his face, it’s the same fear I have of this thing that keeps appearing, “I’ve seen it too, tell me Joe, please.”
“Sophia isn’t sick, she isn’t as ill as she makes out, well at least not in the way she makes out, she is sick in some sort of way but not because of me. I’m in here because of her,” he holds back tears, “I loved her mother, I loved Sophia like my own daughter from the day I saw her, three years old and a happy girl but that night, that night,” his head lowers.
“Joe I know all about ‘that night’ I was there in court listening to it all being read out.”
He looks up at me, “it was all lies, planted by Sophia. If I tell you, you have to promise to get her out of your house.”
I don’t tell him she isn’t with me no-more, it may sway him to lie, after-all, how can I know what he is saying is truth?
“Sophia had been practising with an occult in school, devil worship, I knew about it but her mother didn’t. I tried to keep it from her, to protect both of them. Sophia started talking to things that weren’t there, screaming in the night when she slept or she would be scratching her face. I thought she was possessed, you read about things like that you know, I thought it was happening to her. I took her to a priest and he told me there was nothing wrong with her, that she was putting it on, but I didn’t want to believe him.”
“The devil,” I lean forward being discreet, “you expect me to believe this?”
“Just listen okay,” he snaps quietly, “I took her home and thought it best if I deal with it. But then the next thing I know I woke up in a daze, everything was blurred but I felt pleasure. I tried to focus and I saw Sophia on top, riding me, she was,” his voice goes quieter “raping me.”
“This was all the night that you murdered my aunty?” I ask him shocked.
“No, this was a few days before. Then her birthday came and she seemed normal, happy. Like nothing had happened. She came and hugged me and I pretended nothing was wrong.”
“So she had sex with you and then acted like nothing had happened?”
He nods, “yeah, but then that fateful night. I went to bed with your aunty and made love to her. I cradled her in my arms and we both fell asleep. Then the bed felt wet and I couldn’t move, when I opened my eyes there she was lying next to me all cut open,” he sobs, “I couldn’t do anything, I was tied up and Sophia was having sex with me.”
Vomit builds in my mouth, am I really hearing this? Is Sophia really that disturbed?
“When she finished she told me life isn’t what it seems and I shouldn’t have rejected her. She told me I was meant to be hers after ‘someone’ left and she fucked me to prove it. She said I would never be saved after rejecting her and the time had come to pay the price.”
Those words sound familiar; she has said them to me too. I sit quietly listening to what he has to say.
“I was so angry, hurt, betrayed. Someone else came into the bedroom, I didn’t see who it was but he was all covered up in like forensic overalls.”
Forensic over-alls, could Sophia have had help? Was there someone just as sick as her? “Do you mean someone helped her do all of this? Are you telling me it was Sophia that killed her mother?”
He nods, tears stream down his face, “yes, jealousy. You have no idea the things Sophia was into, the things I tried to keep hidden. She left the room with whoever it was and I manage to get free. So enraged I picked up a knife and went after her, she locked herself in her room, I tried to batter down the door at which moment police cars arrived.”
My mouth has fallen to the floor. The things he said about her screaming, scratching her face, those are things she does now, even claiming to talk to her mother and to hear voices.
“How can I know all this is true? That you’re not just saying this and even if it were true, a jury convicted you, the evidence,”
“All planted by Sophia,” he interrupts, “during the trial I could barely speak.”
He is right; he didn’t utter a single word, not even to defend himself. His lawyer did all of the talking, he didn’t even look up the entire time. When his sentence was read out, he remained cold and emotionless; it was as if he was just showing he didn’t care.
“I couldn’t, after what I saw, what she did to me. I tried to process what was happening in my own head. I kept trying to wake from the nightmare. But now, I’m due to die and I wanted the truth to be heard, please Rayne, you have to believe me.”
I don’t know what to believe. Devil worship, ghosts and scary stories, could this all be true?
“I have to go, our time is up,” he looks to the guard, “please believe me Rayne, you know in your heart something isn’t right.”
He is pulled away by the guard but he doesn’t take his eyes off me. I keep watching him as he is taken though the door back to what I assume is his cell.
I get up to leave only to be confronted once again by the black floating ghostly figure.
Chapter 12
I quickly leave the prison. The figure follows me and just as I go to get on the shuttle bus it disappears. Could Joe be telling the truth? Or has he just been alone for so long he has managed to come up with an elaborate story.
And even if he was telling the truth he is going to die for the crime he claims he did not commit. I cannot get him out of there, if Sophia did do it, who is going to believe someone deemed insane?
I have to see Sophia. As the shuttle bus reaches town, I get off and stroll down to the next bus. I have to see if there is some sort of truth behind what Joe has said.
Waiting on the bus stop, my mind is trying to piece together everything. Sophia was a little weird before her mother died. She had a strange group of friends that always dressed in black and
went off to secret meetings.
If Sophia caught you looking at her things she would flip out on you and rumours in school was she was taking part in sex parties, maybe they could have been rituals of some sort?
There were times I saw scratches on her and I did ask her about them but she would brush me off. And as cruel or weird as she was, sometimes she was loving and caring and it was as if nothing was wrong.
She would act weird around certain people as well, like my father or Joe and rumour had it she was sleeping with one of the teachers, but no-one knew which one.
As I think of things over and over, I start to possibly believe that what Joe has told me could have been true.
My phone bleeps distracting me from the thoughts in mind, I pick it up and it’s Toby and Jack.
Which one to read first? Jack’s I guess:
Hey, I know you needed time but I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I miss you, J.xx
Great, just what I wanted to read making me feel even guiltier about that kiss with Toby, I have to tell him. I have to be honest, I cannot lie it’s not fair.
I pick up the phone to call him; it rings for what feels like ages until finally his soft voice is heard.
“Hey, I’m so glad you called. I texted you ages ago,”
“Yeah, sorry I went to the prison to see Joe and they turned my phone off when they searched me.”
“What?” he blurts out with concern, “you went to see Joe, are you mad?”
“I had my reasons, look, the reason I called you is because I wanted to tell you something.”
I hear him take a deep breath, “I’m listening,” he whispers.
“I umm, I’ve been staying with a policeman, anyway long story short, last night he leant in to kiss me and well, I didn’t really stop him and kissed him back.”
I hear nothing, no breathing, no screaming, my words are met with complete silence yet again. It feels like the longest time no-one has ever spoken a word.
