Always My Hero

by Jennifer DeCuir

  “Ryan, you need to leave.”

  Understanding finally reached through his sex-addled brain. Trembling, he put his hands on either side of her, pushing himself just far enough away so that they were no longer touching. His heart beat erratically. He was breathing like he’d run a marathon.

  “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t ... ” She placed a finger against his lips and shook her head.

  “Don’t ruin a perfectly wonderful moment with an apology. Please. I’ll see you soon.” Slipping out of his arms, Bree backed up until she was a safe distance down the hall.

  He searched her expression, worried he’d scared her by coming on so strong. Her cheeks were flushed, but her eyes sparkled and her lips tilted just a bit at the edges. He realized that she had moved away not just from him, but from her own reactions. Take it slow, Pettridge. Don’t mess it up this time. Fumbling for the doorknob, he welcomed the bite of cold that slapped him in the face as he hurried to his own place.

  • • •

  “The secret to having confidence is knowing you look good under your clothes.” Cady held up a barely there red lace bra.

  Bree shook her head, still amazed that she’d let herself be dragged into a Victoria’s Secret, of all places. But she was with the two women from Scallop Shores that she felt the most comfortable around. Cady had been pushing her to step outside of her introvert bubble for years now, worming her way into Bree’s heart along the way. She could also thank Cady for her more recent friendship with Quinn. She probably wouldn’t be so close to Quinn if Cady hadn’t insisted on them sharing a table at the bakery and getting to know one another when Quinn had first come back to town.

  “It’s like walking around with a happy little secret all day.” Quinn snatched the matching panties off the display table and stretched them out between her hands, wiggling them in front of Bree.

  A happy little secret. She sighed. She’d been walking around with her own happy little secret all day. She was supposed to be enjoying some girl time but it was awfully hard to concentrate when she kept replaying Ryan’s kiss over and over in her head.

  “Yeah. Happy. Little. Secrets.” Cady drew out each word as she leaned in close to Bree’s ear.

  “Spill it, sister. You know you want to.” Quinn nudged her shoulder as she crowded in on the other side of her.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bree stuttered.

  “Like we haven’t noticed you floating around in a daze. Give us a little credit, Bree. Who’s the lucky guy?”

  “Oh, is it Foster? I heard you’d finally gone out with him.” Quinn’s eyes danced with merriment.

  “Catch up, Quinn. Foster was ages ago. And Foster never put that rosy glow in her cheeks.” Cady grabbed her arm and dragged her over to a bench near the changing rooms.

  Bree chewed her new lipstick off her bottom lip. She wasn’t used to wearing it anyway. She wasn’t used to any of this. Spending quality girl time. Getting a new haircut and having her makeup done professionally. Now shopping for clothes and lingerie to complete the new look. This was all uncharted territory for her.

  But she had to admit that she was having a lot of fun. And it felt good to know she could talk to her friends about Ryan. It gave her hope that maybe one day she could open up about the baby she’d lost. That particular secret was a heavy emotional burden to carry all by herself. And if she were truly moving on with her life, the next best step would be to let someone else in on what happened all those years ago.

  “It’s no big deal, really.”

  Or it shouldn’t be. He was only in town for a short while. He’d made it clear that he had no intention of staying. Best not to make any more of this than it was.

  “Bree, no offense, love, but no man has put a smile like that on your face in the entire time I have known you.” Cady’s expression was matter of fact.

  “Just don’t make a fuss over it. Okay?” She paused, staring them each down before continuing. “You know the duplex I rented over on Ramsdell Way? Ryan Pettridge and his son have moved into the other half.”

  “You slept with Ryan Pettridge?” Cady gasped.

  Bree cringed. Even though they were in a Victoria’s Secret in the mall two towns over from Scallop Shores, she didn’t want her business broadcast for perfect strangers to overhear. When a few heads turned at this line of questioning, she clamped her mouth shut and glared at Cady. Standing up, she gathered a couple of bras, panties, and a long silk sheath and made like she was going to try them on. Hitching her head to the right, she indicated that the women should follow her into one of the dressing rooms.

  “You didn’t!” Quinn breathed when they were squished into the tight cubicle with the door shut.

  “No, I didn’t,” she whispered. At least not this time. Bree tried not to giggle at the look of disappointment on Cady’s face.

  “I kissed him. Or he kissed me. He definitely started it.”

  “But you finished it,” Quinn added.

  Bree sighed. Yeah, she’d finished it all right. Though the more she thought about it, the more she wished she’d found a more satisfying way to finish it.

  “So Ryan Pettridge, huh? Star quarterback. Mr. Jock. Hooking up with the bookworm. Talk about opposites attracting.”

  “It’s not like we don’t share a past.” Wait, wrong choice of words. “He’s a nice guy.” She backpedaled.

  Ryan had been the only person in their small high school who had ever really seemed to notice her. Okay, so she’d worked hard to fade into the background. She was just more comfortable that way. But Ryan made her feel different, pretty, even. When she was around him she didn’t want to hide.

  “When he gets a look at the new you, he’s going to flip!” Cady reached out and let a lock of Bree’s newly styled hair slip through her fingers.

  “No more playing Little Miss Wallflower, all right?” Quinn admonished.

  Bree stood up in the small dressing room and faced the mirror. She studied her reflection with a critical eye. The long layers added body to her normally flat hair. She gave her head a toss, smiling as she watched it all bounce back into place. And the color! The subtle streaks of blonde and red gave her own boring brown a real depth. It looked good. She looked good.

  “Quinn, your sister did an amazing job. I really do love it.” Bree gave her friend an impulsive hug.

  “Yeah, I want that red color for myself now,” Cady added. “I made an appointment on our way out.”

  “So now all that’s left is to find a sexy wardrobe to wear under your new clothes. No more granny panties.” Quinn giggled.

  “But no one is going to see what I’m wearing underneath.” Bree addressed her reflection, turning this way and that as she continued to get used to her new hairstyle. Though she couldn’t help but wonder what a decent push up bra would do for her nearly non-existent bustline.

  “Are you sure about that? What about Ryan? You’ve already kissed. The ultimate goal is to end up in bed, right?” Cady stood up, hovering just behind Bree’s left shoulder.

  “That’d be nice, but no, it’s not the ultimate goal. Remember my plan—you both found your dream guys, your happily ever afters. I want mine too.”

  “And you can’t have that with Ryan?”

  “Not unless I intend to move to California with him when he goes back home. If he were to ask, that is.”

  Cady made a disgusted growl in her throat. “He is home. You just need to convince him that he has no reason to leave.”

  “And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Bree teased. It wasn’t that long ago that Cady, herself, had planned to move away from the town she’d grown up in.

  “Want me to have Burke talk to him? He’s pretty frickin’ convincing.” Cady’s grin curled up at the corners and she got a faraway look in her eyes.

  “I’m pretty sure he’s only that convincing to the person he’s sleeping with.”

  They all laughed out loud.

  “Bree, Ryan isn’t anxiou
s to get home because he has someone waiting for him there, is he? I mean, I heard he and Haley divorced years ago, but still ... ” Quinn’s eyebrows drew together as she frowned in concern.

  “I don’t think so.” But that was just it. She hadn’t thought of that scenario at all.

  Because Bree knew better than anyone that just because he kissed her did not mean he was single and available. She’d fallen hard for Ryan in high school and, despite the fact that he was dating the head cheerleader, Haley, she’d given herself to him. Naively, she’d been expecting their lovemaking to be a life altering enough experience that he would leave Haley for her. But it had done the opposite. Not only had he stayed with Haley, he had gone on to marry her and have a child with her.

  Quinn didn’t realize it, but she had just helped Bree put things in perspective. Kissing Ryan had been nice. It brought back some pleasant memories of her first time. And the amount of women who could look back on their first time with a man with only the happiest of memories were probably few and far between. But Ryan was a part of her past, and there he’d have to stay.

  No more kissing. But if they were going to work so closely together for the next few weeks as he helped her on this calendar project, not to mention the time spent guiding him toward a stronger connection with Wesley, they needed to finally talk about their night together. She deserved to hear why he chose Haley, and Ryan deserved to hear how badly he’d hurt her by cutting her out of his life. He didn’t need to know about the baby. He had Wesley.

  “Come on, ladies. We’re here to shop. Burke has been running the coffee shop all day and I plan to reward him with a naughty little fashion show later tonight.” Cady winked at her friends.

  One by one they filed back out into the store to focus on matching bra and underwear sets. For every demure pale pink or white set Bree found, Cady would snatch it out of her hands and replace it with something in fire engine red or lacy black. Eventually, Bree decided it was best just to give in and buy the ones Cady had chosen. She had to admit they were really sexy and part of her couldn’t wait to experience that “happy little secret” that would lend her the confidence she needed to talk nine more gorgeous men into posing shirtless for her. Um, for her calendar.

  Chapter 7

  Bree fiddled with the veggie tray, arranging the carrots just so. Ryan had assured her that the guys wouldn’t touch it, but it couldn’t hurt to try. Given enough fancy dips and ranch dressing, her little brothers would try almost anything. Besides, it was colorful. Who couldn’t resist all those bright oranges, yellows, reds, and greens?

  Tapping her chin, she stepped back and surveyed the buffet arrangement she’d set up on Ryan’s kitchen table. Seven layer dip. Check. Baked beans in the crock-pot. Check. Nachos laid out on the cookie sheet, ready to be popped into the oven. Check. Ryan had even made some surprisingly good buffalo wings. Double check.

  “So what are we going to do while they watch their silly game?” Wesley slumped into a chair, grabbing a handful of potato chips and stuffing half of them in his mouth.

  “We are going to watch the game with them. We’re going to learn a thing or two about football.” She turned and gave him a questioning look. “Unless you’ve already been taught the finer points of football. You and your dad must have been watching together for years.”

  “Nope. He doesn’t watch football.”

  “But it’s his favorite thing.” She scrunched up her nose.

  “So everyone keeps telling me. ‘Your dad was the best football player this town ever had.’ Kinda hard to picture, you know? He’s just my dad. A guy who works in an office and gets really busy around tax season.”

  Wesley got up and grabbed a library copy of the first in the Percy Jackson series off the counter and hunkered back down in his chair. Frowning, Bree went over and snatched it out of his hands.

  “Hey! You gave that to me. You can’t just take it away.”

  “I let you borrow it and I can take it back any time I’d like.” Dealing with Ryan’s son was just like dealing with Sam, Perry, and Theo. Thinking of him as she would one of her little brothers made the ache in her heart over the loss of her own baby slightly less painful.

  “I’ll give it back after the game. But this afternoon we’re going to mingle.” She ruffled his hair when he tried to make a sneaky grab for the book.

  “Why are we having this party anyway? Dad doesn’t do parties. And you’re the only girl. Doesn’t that make you feel weird?”

  Okay, quite honestly? She’d rather be absolutely anywhere else at the moment. But Ryan had offered to throw this little shindig as a way of getting all his old teammates together so she could ask them to pose for her calendar. She had ceased calling it the library fundraiser. This was her project and she was owning it.

  “It’s called ‘networking’ and is a little hard to explain to a second grader. But we’re going to have fun, eat lots of junk food and probably use curse words.” Or at least that’s what she assumed went on when grown men sat around watching a sporting event on TV.

  “Sweet! Do I get to swear?”

  “Wait a minute—what did I just walk in on?” Ryan leaned a hip on the doorjamb and raised an inquisitive brow at Bree.

  “Bree said watching football is all about having fun, eating junk food, and swearing.”

  “And she’d be the expert on all things football,” Ryan scoffed. He grinned and added, “She came to all of my games and most of my practices, but I’ll never understand why. She had that cute little nose of hers buried in a book the whole time.”

  He knew she’d been there?

  “Hey, you told me I couldn’t read during the game!” Wesley pouted.

  “And I meant it. Today we’re learning the rules of football. But you’ve got a few minutes before everyone starts arriving, so you can read until then.” She handed him back his library book and smiled as he raced off.

  “You really have no clue what goes on during a football game, do you?”

  Ryan slipped into the room, intent on picking up where they’d left off the last time he’d been at her place. Bree looked from him to the doorway, where his son had left only moments before. She edged around to the other side of the table, maintaining distance between them.

  “I thought things get rowdy? Am I wrong?”

  “Depends on the game. If no one is scoring, it can be a bit dull.” He continued his pursuit, like a panther on the prowl. “Have I mentioned how much I love what you’ve done with your hair? And your clothes?” His eyes roamed from the jeans tightly encasing her legs to the Patriots tee, the V-neck of which accentuated her new cleavage created by a push-up bra.

  “Tell me why you haven’t watched any football games with Wes.”

  That stopped him in his tracks. Ryan turned and paced toward the fridge, keeping his back to Bree.

  “It’s no big deal. I just don’t really care for football anymore.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Why Ms. Librarian, I am shocked!”

  “Hey, I said there’d be cursing, so I may as well be the one to start. You love football. It’s your passion.”

  “It’s my nightmare. Don’t worry about it. We’re watching now, aren’t we?”

  “Why?” Bree walked up behind him, placing a small hand on his broad back.

  He turned around, slipping her fingers between his own. Closing his eyes for a moment, he gave her a forced smile.

  “I’ve seen what you’re doing. These changes you’re making. You’re brave. I’m proud of you. And inspired. It’s about damned time I made some changes of my own.”

  They stood silently for a moment, hands linked. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him for that talk they needed to have. Somewhere more private. But footsteps scuffed up the porch steps followed by a loud knocking. Their guests were arriving.

  Together they met Chase and Foster at the door. Right behind them was Jonah Goodwin. He and Ryan had never actually been introduced, but Bree knew him well. They’d eve
n suffered through an incredibly awkward fake date at Quinn’s behest. She gave him a hug and ushered him inside, introducing him to his host for the afternoon.

  No sooner had the door shut than a quiet tapping announced another guest. Bree waved the rest of the men into the living room and answered it herself. Lucas Bretton. She smiled at the boy-turned-man who quite possibly topped her in terms of shyness. He held out a plate.

  “My mom wouldn’t let me show up empty-handed. It’s some pasta salad type thing.” Lucas shrugged down further into his coat.

  “Well, you be sure and thank your mom for me. I am sure everyone will love it.” Bree patted him on the arm, taking the dish from him and showing him where he could stash his jacket.

  “Wes, buddy, come out and meet some of my old friends,” Ryan hollered down the hallway.

  “Hey, mind who you’re calling old!” Chase called from Ryan’s recliner, where he’d quickly scored the best seat in the house.

  “I heard you’re a daddy now. How are those reflexes, Pops?” A beer can sailed through the air and Chase caught it easily.

  Bree shook her head. She wasn’t sure she could deal with this much testosterone in one room. It was going to be a long afternoon.

  The Patriots were playing the Broncos to determine which team would make it to the Super Bowl this year. She may not know much about football, but Bree realized this was the second biggest game of the year. Every man in that crowded living room was pumped—including Ryan.

  She played the good little hostess, refreshing drinks, letting in the last few guests and passing the bowls of chips, pretzels, and popcorn among the men. She asked a question here and there, but Ryan made good on his promise to teach her and Wesley about the rules of the game. Filing it all away, she found herself getting caught up in the action on screen. And by the way he jumped around whenever the Patriots scored a touchdown, so was Wesley.

  “Are you two finally dating now or what?” Doyle (she couldn’t remember his last name) passed her an empty beer can in exchange for a new one.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she stuttered.