Lawd, Mo' Drama

by McKinney, Tina Brooks

  “Later,” she said, hanging up the phone.

  She’s a good friend, I said to myself. Most people would have made me beg for help. I finished packing up the last of the items in my bedroom that I would need immediately for the house. And I even got ambitious and packed up the bathrooms and the kitchen. All in all, I was happy with my achievement.

  I called Coy before I called it a night but only got his answering machine. For a minute I wondered where he was, but couldn’t do anything about that, so I went to sleep. I left a message that I would be moving in the morning and that I could use his help.

  LEAH

  I stumbled through the next day as I signed the papers and gave my five-hundred-dollar deposit.

  “The lights and water are already on, but you’ll need to have them switched over in your name,” I was told.

  “No problem. I’ll start moving right away. Are there any restrictions?”

  “Not really. Since these are houses instead of apartments you’re pretty much free to do what you want. We do require that you keep up the grounds and maybe plant some flowers.”

  “I’d love to. I have quite a green thumb; if I do say so myself. Thanks,” I said turning to leave. I was so excited I didn’t know whether to shit or go blind. I called Sammie to see if I could get her to move the boxes that were already stacked by the front door while I cleaned out the house. She agreed to come by as soon as she shook the cobwebs off her brain. I also called Coy to see if we could use his truck. With his assistance I could get the lion’s share of my things moved that day.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he answered when I hit up his cell phone number.

  “Hi. I hate to be a pain in the butt, but I got a house today, and I wanted to start moving some things. Can you help me?”

  “Just say the word. Do I need to bring backup?” he asked, causing me to smile. He was really a sweet man.

  “Would that be too much to ask? I have Sammie coming over but, if I could get the muscle, I’ll get her to help me pack while you guys move the stuff in.”

  “Only if I can help christen the place later,” he replied, sparking a fire in my pussy.

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way!” I exclaimed.

  “Okay, let me check with my boy. Greg has been dying to meet your wild friend anyway, so I won’t have to twist his arm to come. We should be at your place by eleven-thirty, and you can give me the directions.”

  “Oh, you’ve been discussing my friends, huh?”

  “Uh. Well. See what happened was…”

  Amused at his lack of words, I just laughed.

  “Don’t sweat it. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said in earnest.

  “Oh, I’m quite sure you can figure out a way to repay me,” he said, and I seconded that emotion.

  “Is your boy the married guy you told me about?”

  “Uh. Yeah.”

  “Okay, just checking.”

  The rest of the morning flew by quickly. I had more than enough boxes ready by the time Coy and company arrived.

  He arrived first and he looked better than he had ever looked. He had on a denim outfit and his shirt was opened to reveal his hairy chest. It was all I could do not to jump his ass and throw him to the floor. The man just exuded sex!

  “Damn,” I said, not bothering to check the wave of sexual energy he brought to the room. “I might just have to kick Sammie’s ass when she gets one look at you. I ain’t playing that sharing shit.”

  Laughing out loud, Coy responded, “I told you how I feel about that. You got this,” he said, grabbing hold of his balls and shaking them at me. Normally I found that type of action offensive, but I was feeling those nuts!

  “Okay, don’t make me have to cut them off or something like that!” I laughed.

  “Ouch! Women joke about that shit, but I’m here to tell you we don’t find that shit funny,” he said, now shielding his member instead of flaunting it.

  “I had a friend who glued her boyfriend’s dick to his stomach. He woke up and peed in his own face!”

  “Now see, I would’ve had to shoot her ass!”

  “I think homeboy wanted to shoot her, too, but she left town!”

  “I would’ve put out an APB on her!” he said, still clutching his balls protectively. I walked over to him and removed his hand, gently squeezing them.

  “I won’t hurt these for all the tea in China. I just want to make your balls happy.”

  “Now that’s what I am talking about,” he said, grabbing me and kissing me deeply. He practically sucked away all of my air, and I came up gasping for breath.

  “Dayum,” I said, punching him lightly on his shoulder.

  “Stay tuned; it gets better,” he said, patting me on the butt as I turned to leave. I was about to reply when the doorbell rang. I swung open the door expecting Sammie, but meeting Coy’s friend instead. Oh my God, I thought to myself. He was gorgeous.

  “What up?” he said, raising his hand in greeting. I was speechless. His body was clearly designed by God, but I could tell immediately his mind was created by Mattel. He was definitely a piece of eye candy, but I was not fooled by his physical attributes. I needed to be able to have a serious conversation with my partner as well, and this guy was all about the physical.

  Coy stepped around me and grabbed his boy around the shoulders. “Hey, man. Thanks for coming. This is my friend, Leah. Come on in!”

  “She ain’t for me?” he said, looking me up and down.

  “Nah, nigga. She’s mine,” he said, and they high-fived.

  Sammie chose that moment to knock on the door, which was ajar. She wore a hoochie dress that clung to her body and left nothing to the imagination. I shook my head at her choice of clothing, but that was Sammie.

  Stepping forward, I took the bull by the horns and proceeded to make introductions.

  “Coy, you met Sammie already and this is his friend, Greg,” I said.

  Sammie hardly paid Coy any attention, and I was glad about that. I would hate to have to get into a fight with her big ass, I thought to myself. Her eyes were glued to Greg, and he was not paying us any attention either.

  “Hi,” she said, coming into the room switching hips and throwing up flumes of perfume. She looked and smelled good, but I didn’t need her to show up like this. I wanted her help first and then, if she happened to make a love connection, so be it.

  “Damn, baby. I’m feeling that dress,” Greg said, taking Sammie’s hand in his and kissing it. I rolled my eyes at Coy and stepped away from the door. Sammie turned to greet me; I hoped she could tell I was pissed.

  “Hey,” she said, fanning herself.

  “How the hell are you going to help dressed like that?” I said, not bothering to conceal the contempt in my voice.

  “Oh, I’ve got a change of clothes in the car. This is what I wore to work,” she said.

  “Where the hell do you work?” both Coy and Greg chimed in, and I could not stifle my laughter.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she sheepishly replied, not bothered by the gaping stares. She turned around and strutted to her car with Greg ogling her ass.

  “Hummm, I could work with that,” Greg said, closing his eyes and crossing his heart. Who he was praying to was a mystery to me, but it got us all laughing.

  “Negro, we’re here to work. Let’s break down the beds first. Leah has some more boxes to pack. Right, baby?”

  “Yeah, the ones by the door are ready, but Sammie and I are going to finish packing up the kids’ rooms.”

  Coy led Greg back into my room, and I could hear them joking as they took apart the furniture. Even though I had not planned to move actual furniture that day, I had to take advantage of the free labor. I didn’t know Coy’s or Greg’s future availability so Coy had rented a larger moving truck on his way there

  Sammie came back into the house and changed into some tired spandex pants and a short t-shirt. Greg would find it exciting but, for Coy and me, it was disgusting. I di
dn’t need to see the outline of the crack in her pussy, and I knew enough of Coy to know that he would be equally disgusted. She had swept her long braids into a ponytail that she had slung to one side of her head.

  My assessment of Coy was not too far off the mark. “That is entirely too much information,” Coy said when he witnessed Sammie bent over a box. But it was just the right incentive for Greg. He started hefting boxes like he was on a time limit.

  They cleared my living room of all the packed boxes as well as the furniture in all the kids’ rooms and my room in record time. They were coming back for the living room furniture while I finished folding the clothes that I had hastily emptied out of the drawers. I had no idea they were planning on moving as much stuff as they had, but I was pleased. If I could get the big stuff, I could make separate trips back during the week for the smaller things. I was feeling pressed to move since I didn’t know how long the police would be holding Kentee, and I wanted to be long gone before he was released.

  Sammie did more flirting than she did packing. She must have gone into the bathroom fifteen times to spray on more perfume. As it was, she had on enough to choke a maggot.

  “Damn, Sammie. What the hell are you trying to do, kill me? That man knows you’re here. You don’t have to try to kill off the roaches with all that perfume you’re wearing. I feel like I ought to have on a fucking gas mask!”

  “Oh, my bad. My sinuses are acting up, so I couldn’t smell it,” she said, going back to the bathroom. Throwing my hands up in the air, I walked around in circles. Feeling frustrated, I started flinging shit in a box.

  “I’ll just sort it out later,” I said in disgust.

  Sammie came back in the room, and it was evident that she had tried to wipe off some of the additional spray, but it didn’t help much; her clothes reeked of it.

  “Do you really think he noticed? He is so damn fine!”

  “He ain’t blind. You’ve been putting your ass up in his face since you got here,” I said, laughing. “But I have to tell you; he’s married.”

  She winked at me. “Hey, I don’t want him until death do us part. I only want one night.”

  At first I wanted to get pissed, but then I had to realize who I was getting pissed at. There was no shame in Sammie’s game. She saw something she wanted and went for it. Thank God she was leaving Coy alone because I might have had to fight her for him. I was really feeling Coy but I was a little gun-shy around him. I had yet to whip it on him because I just didn’t want my feelings all out getting trashed so soon after Kentee.

  Looking at the clock still mounted on the wall, I realized it was close to nine p.m. When Coy and Greg returned from their last trip to my new home, I called it a night. Since I no longer had a bed, we all traveled to my new home and spent another hour setting up the beds and making it usable for the evening. While Coy and I put fresh linens on the beds, Sammie and Greg got acquainted.

  SAMMIE

  “So, beautiful, where have you been all my life?” Greg asked.

  “Wow, you reached back for that line. How about telling me how you really feel?” I giggled.

  “I don’t know if you can handle how Big Daddy really feels.”

  “Try me!”

  He grinned wildly. “I’d like to take you somewhere and suck the lint out of your toes.”

  “Yuck! Is that supposed to turn me on?” Greg’s face fell when he figured out that I wasn’t amused. “Oh, man, I’m gonna have to work on you,” I said in despair, hitting my hand up against my head.

  “What, you wouldn’t like your toes sucked?”

  “I didn’t say that, but if you’re trying to get in my personal space you have to be more creative; more daring. Stimulate my mind and my body will follow.”

  Taking a few minutes to think about it, Greg was stuck on stupid about how to proceed. I could tell he had never had to work this hard for the panties, and he was about to give up. I had probably insulted his best line.

  “Do you ever dream about making love?” he asked, taking another stab at it.

  “Oh, all the time!” I replied.

  “Well, let me make your dreams come true,” he said suddenly, feeling proud of himself while patting himself on the back for his snappy recovery.

  “Shit,” I said. “Let’s switch roles. I’ll be you and you be me, okay?”

  “Uh. Sure.”

  “Hi, my name is Greg, a.k.a. the dream maker.”

  “Hi, my name is Sammie; nice to meet you. I’m curious about your alias. What does that mean?”

  “Anything you want it to. Tell me your wildest fantasy, and I’ll make it come true.”

  “Damn. Does that shit work?” he asked, perplexed as if I had written out some sort of genetic code.

  “Try it and see.”

  “Sammie, I have this strong desire to make your fantasies come true. Tell me what would be your ultimate fantasy?”

  “I would like…No, I would love…” I said, getting closer to him so I could whisper in his ear.

  “Yes, my sweet. What is it?”

  I could see him growing stiff in his pants at the feel of my warm breath on his ear. I suddenly wanted him to slam me back on the sofa while ramming his dick up my ass.

  “My ultimate fantasy is to get fucked in a graveyard!” I said.

  Greg’s manhood instantly deflated.

  “A graveyard? Are you fucking serious?” he said, getting pissed. He probably had visions of chocolate syrup and whipped cream and I wanted to fuck in a damn graveyard.

  “Yeah, that’s my fantasy,” I said with this special smile and a wink. Despite his initial misgivings he started to look interested.

  “Are you scared?” I asked, knowing full well that he was. Most black people feared the graveyard at night but I was not one of them. I’d had my most vigorous workouts in the graveyard and wanted to know if he was a man or a mouse. This usually gave me the quickest answer. If he was a mouse, he wasn’t for me anyway, but if he wanted to get his freak on as much as I did, he would immediately step up to the plate.

  “Hell no, I’m not scared!”

  He was lying. He didn’t like the idea one bit, but was not going to admit it to me. He probably had avoided the cemetery until it was his time to either visit or become a resident. But I could tell that my idea, as audacious as it sounded, was beginning to have some appeal.

  “What if we get arrested?”

  “You’re a cop. Can’t you fix it?”

  “Damn, you’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” he said, clearly amazed that he was having this discussion at all. Even though he probably still thought it was nuts, he was obviously intrigued at the sheer boldness of the move. I did not ask him if he was married, if he had AIDS, or any other disease; I simply wanted to fuck in a graveyard.

  “How will we get in?” he asked, still trying to reason out my plan.

  “I have bolt cutters in my truck.”

  “Damn, you are serious, aren’t you?”

  “As a heart attack!” I exclaimed.

  I sealed the deal when I reached between my legs, rubbed my pussy and stuck my finger in his mouth. His erection was the proof I needed. End of discussion!

  I got up and went to inform Leah that Greg and I would be leaving.

  “Gurl, we are rolling. I’ll holler at you tomorrow.” I winked at Leah and waved at Coy.

  “Greg is leaving also?” Coy asked with this big-ass smile on his face. He knew the deal, and he could only shake his head.

  “Yeah, he said he’d catch up with you at work.” I shut the door behind me, cutting off further conversation.

  LEAH

  “Oh my God!” I said, clearly amazed at how swiftly Sammie had worked. I had heard about her exploits from Marie, but had never witnessed her going for the kill myself.

  “Ouch! I think she’s about to hurt my boy!” Coy said, laughing.

  “Yeah, I hope his insurance is up-to-date!” I responded, sitting on the edge of the bed. I was a little bent o
ut of shape about the way Sammie had behaved. This was the first time she had met Greg, and she was already leaving to go fuck him. I hoped Coy wouldn’t judge me by the company I kept, but then I had a reality check. I had slept with Coy just as quickly so I could not stand in judgment of Sammie.

  He shook his head. “Yeah, I’d hate to inform his wife that he’d given his life but not in the line of duty.”

  “How long has he been married?”

  “About fifteen years, but he ain’t the loyal type,” he admitted.

  “Coy, please don’t judge me by the actions of my friends,” I said.

  “Baby, relax. What we have is more than mere sex. I recognize what I have right here. Let’s just take it a day at a time.”

  I searched his face to see if he was giving me lip service. If he was, it didn’t show. His look and demeanor appeared legit.

  “I don’t know about Sammie sometimes. She’s had a rough life and defines her happiness by who she’s with. Sometimes I want to get mad, but I honestly don’t think she knows any better. Sammie’s been searching for love ever since I met her.”

  “How did you two meet? You’ve got me curious now.”

  “

  I glanced at my watch. “Wow, do you have the time? It’s already late.”

  “Tomorrow is Sunday, and we can finish getting things straight in the morning. Let’s take a shower and you can tell me while we bathe,” he suggested. I agreed and went to make sure the house was locked up, making a mental note to change the locks. This was my own personal quirk, and I would not be able to sleep well in the house until I did. Luckily, with Coy there I would feel a little safer.

  I located the box of bathroom stuff and laid out enough for us to take a shower and lotion each other down. When I returned to the bedroom he had the shower going and was already under the flow.

  The master bathroom was huge. It had twin sinks and a shower big enough for two with a little bench to sit down on if you felt compelled to. He was sitting on the bench, and I slipped down between his legs letting the warm water pelt the back of my head.