Exposed

by RJ Crayton

  I love you with all my heart, and I’m proud of you. Please take care of your sister. And destroy this letter after you’ve finished reading it. All except the last page. That you may keep, if you’re feeling sentimental, but sometimes I think Elaan and I are the only sentimental ones in this family. You and your mother are practical, and that is, as much as I used to tease your mother for it, a very important trait to have.

  -Dad.

  P.S. 4801. Your sister has the rest.

  The next page said only one line.

  I am, and always have been, proud of you. I love you. Stay strong.

  -Dad.

  Elaan handed her brother his letter, and he did the same in return.

  “So, he thinks it can be fixed,” Elaan said, trying to be cryptic in case Boxcar Willie could hear. Yet, she could barely hear herself over the din of the train, so she was pretty sure Willie couldn’t hear her all the way across the boxcar.

  Lijah shrugged. “It doesn’t matter,” he said.

  “How can you say that?” she asked. “It’s the only thing that matters now. And she can help you. You can’t hate her now. Not if she can help.”

  Lijah shook his head. “I don’t hate her,” he said, his antipathy making it hard for Elaan to believe him. “My feelings toward her are complicated, but that’s not the important part. What’s important is that help will be good. Feeling warm and fuzzy toward the source of the help is just a bonus you have and I don’t.”

  She wondered how he could still be so hostile. She wanted to ask him more, but decided this wasn’t the time or the place. She took the letter that had all the details and ripped it in half. “Do you have a match?”

  “We can’t do that here,” Lijah replied. “Just give it to me, and I’ll take care of it once we get off in Terra Haute.”

  Terra Haute. That wasn’t their destination. In fact it was pretty far from Dahinda, she thought. But she still couldn’t quite visualize both cities in relation to one another. “Can I see the map?” she said.

  Lijah nodded, pulled out the map, and handed it to her. As she unfolded it she realized it was a pretty big sheet of paper, probably eleven by seventeen inches. When Lijah had said it was an Illinois map, she thought it had just Illinois on it, but it also included Missouri, Iowa, and Wisconsin. The edges of Indiana and Kentucky appeared as well. If all someone had was that map, there was no way they’d be able to figure out where Lijah and Elaan were headed. A six-state radius was big. On the map, she found Terra Haute marked by a large dot.

  Unfortunately, a search for Dahinda yielded nothing. A creep of panic. “Where is it? Where’s the dot for —” she wanted to say Dahinda aloud, but finished with “the place were going.”

  Lijah chuckled. “Didn’t you read your letter?”

  She wasn’t sure what he meant. Then it hit her: F3, N11. “Oh,” she said, as she used her pointer finger to locate the spot on the map. There wasn’t a town name, but that must be Dahinda. It was right next to the Spoon River. She’d heard of the river but couldn’t remember where or why.

  It was a pretty long way from Terra Haute to the F3, N11. “Do you think we should try to renegotiate, given what we’ve found?”

  Lijah shook his head. “No, it’s better we just get off where we said. We knew we were going to have to travel some of the way on our own. It’s best he doesn’t know where we’re headed.”

  She nodded, folded the map, and held it out to Lijah. He hesitated before taking it and opening it up. “I’m not eidetic like Josh, but I’ll do my best to memorize this, and then you can keep it.”

  Her eyebrows squished together in consternation. “Eidetic?”

  Lijah gave her a look that made her feel like she should’ve known, but then he softened and said, “It’s the official term for having a photographic memory.”

  She wondered if he was joking, but she could think of no reason to joke about that.

  “He’s never mentioned it to you?” Lijah asked.

  She shook her head and could’ve sworn she saw the ghost of a smile on his face at knowing something about Josh that she didn’t. “It never came up.”

  Lijah nodded. “Yeah, I think he’s a little self-conscious about telling people,” he admitted. “But he said he had it earlier, so if I get separated from the two of you, he’ll know where to go. And if for some reason all three of us get separated — and there’s no reason we should — then I want you to keep it. I’m pretty sure if I study all the routes, I’ll be able to get there. Just remember the address.”

  “What address?”

  “Crystal Circle,” he whispered. “I had the 4801, the street number; you had the street name.”

  “Oh,” she said, as it dawned on her what her father had done. There was a bit of folly in her father’s plan. If she and Lijah had been separated, their letters would have been worthless. It had all worked out in the end, but she found it odd that he’d leave so much to chance.

  Elaan glanced at Lijah as he stared at the map. Then she turned to Willie. His chest rose and fell steadily. She wondered if she shouldn’t be trying to sleep, too. It was already late. Breathing out, her eyes found Lijah again. He planned to stay awake to keep her safe. “If you want, I can study it, and then you can hold on to it.”

  He laughed. “You know, you can’t even give people directions to the house until you get within a two-mile radius. I think you’re best keeping it.”

  She scowled. “I’m very good with maps, when I need to be,” she said. “Besides, I should study it anyway, in case it gets lost.” The torn halves of the letter her father had written were in his lap. “The last page of Dad’s letter was only half full. Why don’t you take the scraps and trace part of the map, too?”

  His mouth parted slightly, as if he didn’t believe she’d had a good idea. Then he shrugged. “Why don’t you get some sleep, sis? We have a long day tomorrow.”

  For once, she agreed with him. She was tired, and even more drained after reading her father’s words. She tucked the part of the letter she was saving into her backpack and made sure the coin bag was secure. She said to Lijah, “Should I give you your stuff?” She dipped her head toward the bag of coins. “In case we get separated.”

  He stole another glance at Willie. “I want to let things settle a bit before we do that,” he said. “Just get some sleep.”

  Elaan nodded. She repacked her clothes, settled the backpack next to her like a pillow, laid her head on it, and shut her eyes.

  Chapter 3

  Lijah could barely keep his eyes open. He glanced at his watch: 4 a.m. He wasn’t sure if the watch was a saving grace or part of the torture of the trip. Without the watch, it was impossible to tell how much time had passed on the train, which was one monotonous, loud, creaky ride. Willie was fairly still over there, but Lijah supposed the man would have to wake soon. There had to be another checkpoint coming up. He couldn’t imagine traveling much longer without one.

  Though, he’d never done this before, so he could be totally wrong. In any event, he needed to wake Josh, so he could take over. A pang of jealousy washed over him as he saw that Elaan and Josh had managed to gravitate toward each other as they slept. Despite the noise, the cold, and the grime, they’d managed to lean into each other and seem at ease.

  He wished he could get Josh out of his head. It wasn’t right. He took a deep breath and crawled over to Josh. Tapping him on the shoulder, he said, “Wake up.” Josh didn’t move. Lijah grasped his shoulder and shook him slightly. “Wake up,” he said a little louder, hoping to rouse Josh but not disturb his sister. Josh opened his eyes, groggily at first, but then widened his eyes and stiffened as he took in his surroundings.

  “It’s OK,” Lijah said. “It’s me. You’re fine, Ethan. You’re on the train here with me and my sister, Priya.”

  Josh stared at Lijah a minute, squinting as if trying to wrap his mind around what was being said. And then, his face relaxed, and he nodded. “Yes, Daanish,” Josh said. “I remember. It ju
st took me a minute.”

  “I need to get some sleep,” he said. “Can you keep an eye on her?” He tipped his head toward Elaan, then back toward Willie.

  Josh nodded. “Absolutely.”

  Lijah went back to his spot in the corner and closed his eyes. A moment later, though, a hand rested on his shoulder. He opened his eyes. It was Josh. “What?”

  “I know you need sleep, and I’m sorry. I’ll let you sleep in a minute, but since she’s, um, asleep, I just wanted to ask you something.”

  Lijah nodded, and Josh sat down, facing him, leaving a decent amount of space between them. Part of Lijah wished he’d move closer, while the rest of him knew it was stupid. He needed to stop this, he told himself.

  “I know the map, and I remember the best route to get there,” Josh said. “But, I’m a little concerned about your —” he stopped abruptly, glanced back at Willie, then scooted slightly closer to Lijah. “I’m concerned about the woman we’re going to see. Do you think he was right about her, that she can’t cause us problems?”

  Lijah rubbed his temples. He was so tired and really not in the mood to discuss his mother, especially with Josh. “Listen, I think he’s right,” he said firmly. “You know as well as I do that the difference in communicability between the two strains is huge. He saw her bloodwork. I never did. If he says it’s not the airborne strain, then I believe him. Besides, he wouldn’t lie to us about this. The consequences are too severe.”

  Josh nodded, as if trying to reassure Lijah that he understood and believed, but Josh’s face showed no signs of being assured. His eyes were a little too wide and his mouth downturned. It reminded Lijah of the way Josh had been when they were together in their supposed quarantine. The way he looked after they’d learned the side effects of the vaccine, learned that their lives had just been unalterably changed for the worse, rather than the better.

  Lijah reached out and patted his shoulder. “Seriously, it will be alright, man. We’ll be fine going there.”

  Josh half smiled. “You know me too well,” he admitted and sighed. “But, I know you, too. I know that even though you asked me to protect your sister.” He hesitated, as if grasping for a thought. “And I will. One hundred percent, but I also feel like you’re still not OK with it.”

  Josh turned his head toward Willie. Lijah followed with his eyes, to see if the old man had stirred. He was in the same position, chest heaving up and down with snores, his body rattling slightly in line with the boxcar’s tremors.

  “I’ll stay with her and help her get where we’re going,” Josh said. “But if things go south, I won’t put her in danger. I’ll give up to throw them off her scent, no matter what.” He leaned in closer to Lijah. “If they want to take us to Facility One, then I can’t blame them. We both know the dangers that carriers present. But if it seems like they’re coming after me, I’ll make sure Elaan gets far away before they catch up. I know you worry about her being with me, but I’m not selfish, Lijah. I won’t do anything to put her in danger.”

  Lijah nodded. “I know, man. I trust you.”

  Josh smiled and walked back over to Elaan, keeping his eyes trained on Willie the entire time. Josh was a good guy, and Lijah knew that he’d been a jerk to push them apart. Though Josh had bought all his lies — hook, line, and sinker. Josh truly believed that Lijah hadn’t wanted Elaan to be with him because he could be a carrier, because the government could come after him and hurt Elaan in the process. That Elaan would be hurt if the government exterminated Josh at Facility One, or made him live in quarantine. And while the reasons he’d given Josh for not being with Elaan were rooted in some truth, they weren’t the real reason. Lijah cursed himself for his stupidity and selfishness once more. He vowed to finally do the right thing. With that, he closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

  Chapter 4

  The slowing of the train roused Elaan from her slumber. Despite the noise, the vibration of the rail car, and its rusty smell, she’d slept soundly. She wasn’t quite ready to get up yet, so she sat there with her eyes closed, trying to rest.

  She’d been exhausted when she finally closed her eyes last night — or it was technically earlier this morning. The day before had been completely draining. Everything she’d thought she knew was a lie. Her mother wasn’t dead. Her mother was alive but in hiding because she was a carrier. The government wanted to experiment on Elaan. And her brother and the guy she hoped would be her boyfriend could become carriers if they came into contact with the disease. It was too much for her brain to digest.

  She startled at the odd movement next to her and opened her eyes in time to see Josh get up. Movement in her periphery caused her to turn in time to see Willie striding toward them. She pulled her knees to her chest and tried to back up, but her back was already against the boxcar wall. There was nowhere she could go.

  “Ethan,” Willie said. It took Elaan a moment to realize he was talking to Josh. The old man smiled down at her through his grizzled beard. “Priya, darlin’.”

  Elaan nodded, though didn’t smile. Before the world went haywire with disease, she’d never been leered at. But having it happen now, she was particularly threatened by it. In the world before, there were laws and police. People couldn’t simply grab you off the street and do what they wanted to you. Here, the laws seemed nebulous at best, and Willie clearly paid people to look the other way. He could simply shoot Josh and Lijah and do whatever he wanted to Elaan, and that terrified her.

  “She’s just waking up,” Josh said. “And she could actually use a couple hours more of shut eye. Tell me what you want, and I’ll pass it on.”

  Willie shrugged. “We have another checkpoint,” he said. “It’s not like the one a couple of hours ago at five a.m. That was a bumblefuck city. They have a checkpoint just to keep up appearances, pretend they’re doing something. This is a real checkpoint. They do a car search.”

  “A car search,” Josh said. “What does that mean?”

  “It means they’re supposed to search each car, making sure it’s got only the cargo listed in the manifest. It takes longer and slows everything down. Usually about forty minutes. It’s imperative that you stay quiet.”

  Josh nodded.

  “I have a guy who’ll come in and inspect the car. I’ll pay him his cut and he’ll mark us clean. However, there is an inspection overseer, and if he sees or hears anything out of the ordinary, he can do a check himself. He may or may not be open to bribery. Either way, we don’t want him on this train, so keep it quiet. Got it?”

  Josh nodded. “Yes. Got it.”

  Chapter 5

  Lijah had only gotten a couple of hours of sleep, and he wasn’t that happy to be awakened, even though he figured it must be important. He knew Josh and Elaan wouldn’t wake him for no reason, so he refrained from grimacing when he opened his eyes to see Josh squatting in front of him.

  “Checkpoint is coming up,” Josh said without fanfare. “Willie says a guy may come on board. We need to be quiet. This guy is on the payroll, but his boss is not. We need to make sure we don’t give the boss a reason to come aboard.”

  Lijah nodded. Willie was full of a crap-ton of problems. Lijah wished he hadn’t suggested the train. Yes, they were further now than they would’ve gotten by car, but it could all go to hell any minute. Willie could double-cross them on a whim or because he was a jerk or for any other reason under the sun. And, if something legitimately went wrong — like the checkpoint went bad — Willie would turn them in without a second thought.

  Elaan was standing a couple of paces away, leaning on the wall of the boxcar. Josh stood to join her. Lijah thought he could afford to rest for a minute or two more. He was exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally. He’d promised to take Elaan to their mother, but he still wasn’t keen on seeing her. He also wasn’t keen on spending the trip watching Elaan and Josh hold hands, either.

  He wanted a break. He’d been on the run for less than a day, and already he wanted out. He was so pathet
ic. It was his job to be the strong one, to keep everyone together, to protect them, to get them where they were going. But he was too tired to do it. Too tired to think. He needed to figure out a contingency plan to deal with Willie. He couldn’t be trusted, and they’d told him too much about their trip. Yes, St. Louis was a bit of a red herring, but if he decided to tell someone about them, they were screwed.

  The train was slowing down, making a loud, squeaky racket as it went over the tracks. He called Elaan by her fake name. She ignored him, either having not heard or forgotten she needed to answer to Priya. He pushed himself off the grimy, mud-caked floor and wiped his hands on his pants. His body felt stiff from several hours curled up on the hard floor.

  Elaan turned to him and smiled. He inclined his head, signaling her to come closer. Concern washed over her face, and she took the few steps to him. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “I’m worried about the train stops. We may need to make a run for it at some point. We may even need to split up. I think we should try to discreetly split the coins. Three ways.”

  Elaan frowned slightly, but then nodded. She turned, looked at Willie, and then back at Lijah. “I think he’ll be distracted getting ready for the checkpoint, so it seems like the best time.”

  Lijah nodded, and added, “Explain to Josh.” He sat down and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to go back to sleep, but he needed to tune things out for a moment. He needed some peace.

  Neither Josh nor Elaan spoke to him as the train lumbered toward the checkpoint. Lijah had slept through the previous checkpoints, so he wasn’t sure if it was a train station or the middle of nowhere. Because the boxcar was a completely metal box, they couldn’t peek out to see what was coming.

  Lijah opened his eyes. He stood and watched as Willie loped toward them. The older man’s mouth was a stern line when he reached the three of them and said, “The train will stop in less than five minutes. Stay in this corner and don’t say anything,” Willie said. “Understand?” They all nodded.