by Chloe Walsh
I never realized what a jealous breed of woman I was until I watched Annabelle look at Hunter like he was a piece of meat. Suddenly, after twenty-six years of docile living, my cat claws had come out in full force and I was ready to cut the bitch.
It wasn’t enough for her to take Jordan away from me but now she wanted to take Hunter, too.
I couldn’t stand it.
He smiled at her and I wanted to scream.
I knew he was only being his regular, friendly self, but I wanted to drag him away from her, lock him away somewhere safe, and save all his smiles for me.
I felt a high heel stab my foot and I jerked in surprise.
"What?" I hissed, rubbing my injured foot with my other one.
"You're staring at them," Teagan whispered in my ear so only I could hear. "And you're being obvious about it."
Flushing bright red, I turned and gaped at her. "I am?"
"Yes." She nodded, voice still a whisper. "You look like you want to jump across the table and strangle her."
Fuck.
It was at this exact moment that Noah, who had been staring at Ryder on and off since we'd taken our seats, turned to Annabelle and said, "Cute kid."
"Annabelle beamed in delight. "Thank you."
"No problem," He continued to stare at him for another minute or so before turning to Jordan and asking, "He yours?"
That comment almost caused me to choke to death on the mouthful of wine I'd been in the process of swallowing.
"No," Jordan bit out. "He's not."
Unaffected by Jordan's sharp tone, Noah took another good look at the baby before turning his attention back to my husband. "You sure he's not yours? Kid looks a helluva lot like you."
"Quite sure," Jordan shot back coldly.
"Da-da!" Ryder squalled out, causing Noah to cock his brow, and Hunter to snicker.
The waiter came to take our order then, and I was pretty sure I'd never been so relieved to see a man with a notepad and pen as I was in this moment.
Awkward…
Thankfully, everyone at the table skipped a starter and only ordered mains. I was glad. This night couldn’t end quick enough for me.
During our meal, I made no less than seven trips to the bar, each trip a little wobblier than the last. I didn’t care about the disapproving looks Jordan gave me every time I returned with an overly generous glass of wine. I needed the Dutch courage to get through this damned dinner.
I ate my food in silence, feeling too frazzled to try and make forced conversation. I wasn’t rude about it, though, and answered the rare question that was thrown my way. It was safer keeping my face down and my concentration on my steak.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
LUCKY
I walked straight into what had to be the most awkward fucking dinner party known to mankind with the woman I was in love with, her husband, his fake fiancé, a baby that looked a helluva lot like him, my former cellmate, and his pregnant wife. Someone needed to call Dr.Phil right about now because I had a feeling we were going to need him.
To be honest, when I came back in from having a smoke and saw them all sitting around a table, I'd taken a second look and checked for a camera, thinking this had to be a fucking joke.
And the blonde I'd been dumped beside was freaking me out with all the staring. I was beginning to think she might have an issue with her eyes because there was no way she was daring enough to watch me like she'd been doing without their being a medical reason for it.
I had no issue with single-mamas, and I could appreciate how sexy she was, but I wasn’t interested.
In anyone.
Unfortunately for me, my dick and my heart seemed to be connected by a chord and the only one I wanted to put it inside was the woman sitting across from me with the ring on her fourth finger.
Fuck my life.
Why the hell had I agreed to come? This was fucking bullshit. Standing and watching her make a total fool of herself. I wanted to stalk over there and steal her back from her husband who had come home just a minute too soon.
Hope looked miserable during dinner as she sat between Teagan and Jordan. He wasn’t speaking to her.
In fact, he barely looked in her direction the entire fucking time. He couldn’t make it any more obvious that he didn’t want to be here, with us, and she looked mortified.
I wanted to reach across the table and hold her hand. Tell her that it wasn’t her fault and she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I wanted to tell him to pull his finger out of his ass and fast.
He focused his attention on the blonde and the baby, and bristled whenever Hope touched his arm or rubbed against him.
I would gladly trade seats with him.
She kept trying to get his attention and he kept ignoring her.
It didn’t matter to Hope that she had all of my attention without trying.
I was consumed in the woman. Every frown, smile, and lonely look. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.
I hung on every word she spoke, even when she talked about shit I had no clue about, I still listened, the sound of her voice like a blanket of warmth around me.
Fuck me, it took everything I had to stay in my seat and not lean across the table and smack some sense into him. I wanted to tell her to stop begging. He wasn’t bothering so why should she?
Because she loves him, a voice inside my head hissed.
Unable to stick another second of watching her being ignored and underappreciated, I leaned forward and patted her hand to gain her attention. "How's the book coming along?'
"It's amazing, Lucky," she replied, her voice a little slurred. I wasn't surprised by that. She'd spent more time drowning her sorrows at the bar during dinner than she had at the table. And like usual, he didn’t fucking take notice. "I'm almost done."
I wasn’t sure if it bothered me that she only called me Hunter when we were alone or with or friends, or if I liked that it was something personal between us.
Either way, I was back to being Lucky tonight.
"Knew you could do it, HC," I replied, feeling a huge swell of pride fill my body.
"Oh yeah?" She laughed and leaned forward and dropped her face in her hand. "I feel like I should give you like fifty percent of the… the…" She frowned and twirled her finger in the air, and in that moment, she reminded me of a blue-eyed version of Pocahontas with her brown curls straightened.
"Royalties?" I offered, smiling at how fucking cute she was when she was wasted.
"Yes!" She nodded and laughed. "That's the word."
"I don’t want your money, HC,"I shot back, smiling.
"Oh yeah?" she snickered. "Then how else am I supposed to slay you for your help?"
I raised a brow. "Slay me?"
"Yeah." She nodded, eyes wide as saucers. "Pay you."
"So, are you married?" a voice interrupted us, causing Hope to drop her gaze to her plate.
"No." I turned to look at the blonde whose name I hadn't taken the time to memorize and forced down the irritation I was feeling. "I'm not."
"Really?"
"Really," I deadpanned.
"Girlfriend?"
"No."
"How old are you?"
"Thirty."
"Wow," she replied, smiling. "I was convinced a man like you would have been snatched up and dragged up the altar years ago."
A loud snort escaped Hope, and I turned to grin at her. "Oh, that's funny, is it?"
"I'm sorry," Hope snickered as she swayed in her seat, waving her wine glass around recklessly. "I'm just laughing at the mental image of you being dragged up an altar." She took another mouthful of wine before turning her gaze on Blondie. "Lucky's not religious."
"Don't you think you've had enough?" I heard Jordan say, finally giving Hope some attention.
She looked up at him with a guilty expression. "I’m thirsty."
"You're drunk," he corrected, staring down at her. "You need to stop."
I watched him take the glass out of Hope's hand and hadn't rea
lized I'd been moving until Noah's elbow dug roughly into my side. "Don’t get involved, Lucky," he said in a low, warning tone. "If you love her as much as you say you do, then you'll sit your ass down and let her work this out for herself."
I glared at him for the longest fucking moment as I strived to find the composure I needed to walk the fuck away from this. Noah was right. Of course he was right. Didn’t make it easy though.
"Oh look, the band is starting," Teagan offered then, sensing the tension at the table. She pointed to where a four piece were doing a sound check in the far corner of the room. "I love these guys."
I tried to concentrate on the band as they began their set, I really fucking did, but it was impossible to do with Hope sitting less than three feet from me, looking like she was about to burst into tears. Every instinct inside of me demanded I snatch her away from him – save her from this absolute bullshit. But what I wanted didn’t matter in this. I couldn’t fuck this up for her. I didn’t want to jeopardize her future, whatever path she chose to take.
Because hurting this woman was the last thing I wanted.
Oh Christ, I needed to get out of here.
I needed to stop looking at her.
I needed a fucking drink.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
HOPE
Jordan took my drink from me and scolded me like I was a fucking child.
"I'm fine," I growled, reaching for my glass again as the music from the band blasted around us. "I am fine!"
Jordan stared hard at me before shaking his head and exhaling an exasperated sigh. "Whatever, Hope."
Embarrassed, I turned my face away and focused on Hunter instead. I watched in clouded confusion as Noah spoke into Hunter's ear, tone inaudible as the sound of guitars and drums and all that shit boomed.
A few minutes ticked by before Hunter got up from the table and stalked over to the bar.
I tried not to be obvious about watching him, but the alcohol flowing through my veins made it difficult for me to care. After all, he was the only one who seemed to even take note of me all night.
The confidence that oozed from that man was undeniably attractive. He had sex appeal in buckets and every woman in the room seemed to pay attention to him.
Women were openly gawking at him as he leaned against the bar with a bottle of beer hanging loosely in his hand and talked to the bartender. He looked so relaxed in his own skin, so content with who he was, it made my heart hurt.
My stomach churned as I watched a tall blonde sidle up to him and place a hand on his shoulder. I watched him turn to face her, giving her his full attention.
I watched her lean closer and my breath stalled in my chest.
Was he going to kiss her?
Dance with her?
Buy her a drink?
Take her home?
Oh god…
I wanted to barge over there and drag her away from him, tell her not to touch what wasn’t hers, but how could I?
He wasn’t mine, either.
I didn’t own him.
Wrenching my gaze away, I turned my attention to Jordan, only to feel my heart plummet when I noticed he was, once again, in deep conversation with Annabelle.
I looked to Teagan for support, but her attention was on Noah, who was whispering something in her ear as he nuzzled her neck.
Drunk and depressed, I grabbed my wine glass and gulped down the entire thing, not caring when the bitter tasting alcohol caused my stomach to roll in protest. My heart was aching, so my stomach could damn well join in.
When Hunter returned to the table a few minutes later with his hands full with several shot glasses, I sagged in relief. He was alone.
"Celebratory shooters," he announced in his usual carefree tone as he slammed a bunch of glass tumblers filled with brown liquid down on the table. "Let's toast."
Annabelle, Noah, and I all reached for a shooter and held it up, but Jordan made no move to take one.
Earlier in the night, I had cared about the fact that we were all drinking around a recovering alcoholic, but now?
I was too fucking drunk to care.
"The fuck is this?" Noah asked, frowning at the contents of his glass.
"Thought you of all people would know a slippery nipple when you saw one," Hunter shot back. He picked up the lone shot glass that had orange content in it and passed it to Teagan. "Virgin for you," he told her with a wink before claiming a glass for himself. "To lifelong friendships, unreserved love, and the honor of standing by your side as your best man."
Noah and Hunter clinked their glasses together and said, "Cheers," before tossing their shots back. I clinked mine against Teagan's orange juice and then quickly gulped it down, gagging a little at the bitter taste.
The band began to play their own version of Walk the Moon's Shut up and Dance then, causing Teagan to squeal in delight.
Leaping to her feet, she pointed at Hunter. "Come on, Lucky-boy. Let's see what you got!" Giggling, she crooked her finger at him as she danced backwards away from our table and onto the floor.
Grinning, Hunter picked up another shot and tossed it back before slamming the glass down on the table. "It's on, Blondie." Shoving his chair back, Hunter sauntered towards Teagan, all the while making ridiculous hand – and hip – gestures.
They danced around the room so animatedly, laughing and reenacting every lyric of the song playing from the DJ booth.
They were absolutely hilarious.
It was honestly a sight to be seen.
Teagan was a firecracker – always had been – but it looked like she had met her match in the crazy stakes with Hunter.
He was just so fun and wild and carefree. And he danced around the bar like he didn’t have a care in the world. I knew he did, but he hid it so well.
He didn’t care what anyone thought about him and I felt in awe of that confidence he exuded. He lived life on his terms and didn’t shake or rattle when people came at him. He kind of reminded of that guy in school everyone wanted to be around.
The girls wanted to be with him and the boys wanted to be him.
Curiosity burned inside of me; the urge to know this man on a level no other ever had known before burned inside of me.
His outlook on life was infectious.
All the horrible things he had seen and done, and Hunter Casarazzi was still standing with his middle finger cocked in the air saying fuck you all…
"Does that bother you?" I heard Jordan ask Noah and immediately my hackles rose in defense.
Noah shook his head and laughed. "It probably should, but nah." He seemed to be enjoying watching Teagan dance around the place with Hunter. It was like watching two best friends in a dance off. "They're like brother and sister."
"Jord?" Annabelle called out, immediately capturing my husband's attention. "I'm going to take off." She pointed to where Ryder was beginning to fuss and stood up. "It's too loud for him in here."
"I'll come with you," was Jordan's automatic response as he rose from his chair and grabbed Ryder's changing bag off the floor.
"Don’t leave now," I heard myself say and it sounded awfully like begging. Reaching up, I placed a hand on his forearm and said, "This is the first time we've been together like this in forever. Can't you just stay out and enjoy yourself?"
"I have responsibilities, Hope," he whispered.
"They are not your responsibility," I hissed, the alcohol in my belly giving me the courage to finally speak my mind.
"Hope –"
"I'm serious," I urged, not caring if Annabelle could hear me or not. "You don’t have to spend all of your time working and hanging out with her, you know."
"She's my friend."
"I'm your wife."
"I'm well aware."
"Then act like it."
"I can't be here, Hope." Jordan pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled a shaky breath. "Being in an environment like this? Around alcohol?" He shrugged helplessly. "It's too hard for me. I need to go home. I can't
afford to make any slip ups."
"Okay," I whispered, feeling a huge swell of guilt. Reaching under the table, I grabbed my purse and moved to stand. "I'll come, too."
"No. You stay and enjoy yourself."
"I want to enjoy myself with you."
"It's not something I'm able to do right now, okay." He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. "I love you," he whispered. "But I'm not staying here."
Then he turned his back and walked away from me.
Sinking back down on my chair, I watched them leave, forcing myself to hold it together when everything inside of me was falling apart. Blinking away the tears that were filling my eyes, I looked around the bar in defeat. I felt utterly helpless. My life was railroading out of control and I felt powerless to stop it.
It was only when I felt a strong arm come around my shoulders that a hiccup of pain tore from my lips. "What am I going to do with you, huh?" Noah grumbled as he tucked me into his side.
Turning to face my uncle, I buried my face in his enormous chest and cried. We were the only two left at the table and I was glad. At least he was the only one that was witnessing my personal breakdown. "He doesn’t love me anymore, Noah," I choked out, drowning his clean, white shirt in my mascara stained tears. "And it hurts so fucking much."
"I don’t think that's it, Hope," Noah soothed as he stroked my arm with his hand. "I think he really does love you, but he's too messed in the head to show it."
"You saw that just there," I objected, sniffling. "I begged him to stay and he just walked away – with her!"
"Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care."
"It feels like he doesn't."
"Look," Noah said, exhaling a sigh. "I've been through something similar to what you're going through now."
"With Teegs?" I whispered.
"Yeah." He nodded. " Seven years is a long ass time to be apart. Time changes things, Hope, and people grow apart."
"Including you guys?"
"Of course," he agreed. "We were different people when we found our way back to each other. It was hard as hell trying to find some middle ground to stand on together." He shook his head, clearly thinking back to an earlier time in his life. "We were so goddamn resentful of each other back then, both blaming each other for shit that didn’t even matter anymore. Both terrified to trust the other."
