Foolish Bride

by A. S. Fenichel

  “I am saying that neither of us are who we were.”

  “Perhaps the difference is that I would have honored our agreement, Sir Michael Rollins.” She was so angry now, her voice shook. “You are no gentleman. You have no honor. If we could not have children of our own, then we could have found some that needed a home and raised them. Your brother’s children could have inherited, but we would have been happy. I would not have cared, that is how great my love for you was.”

  “Was?” His shoulder slumped.

  She laughed, but without humor. Pent-up tears rolled down her face. “I shall love you for the rest of my life, Sir Michael, but now I shall also hate you in equal measure.”

  “Elinor, please.”

  “Please what? Please forgive you for ruining both of our lives. No, that I shall never do.”

  “I am sorry.”

  “Yes, it would seem so. Please, if you have an unmarked carriage that can carry me home, I would like to go now.” She grabbed her cape from the chair. It had been a mistake to come, but at least she knew now that he wasn’t the man for her.

  “Don’t you understand? I am only half a man. I cannot marry you. I can never marry anyone.”

  “Have you had an amputation then?” Sympathy seeped into her voice. It was too horrible to think about.

  His face colored. “Elinor! My God!”

  Horrified, she touched his arm. “I am sorry, Michael. I didn’t realize the injury was so severe. Should you be out of bed?”

  He jerked his arm away. “Really, Elinor, I have no idea who you are. The woman I was engaged to would never even have known about such things.”

  Her cheeks were on fire, but the brandy made her bold. “As I said, the country estate is a farm. It’s not as if I haven’t any idea how babies come about.” She cleared her throat. “I think perhaps you should take yourself to bed. It must be too soon for you to be out of bed with an injury of this kind.”

  “Nothing has been amputated, Elinor.” His shout should have brought the staff running, but no one came.

  Tempted to run for the door, she scooted a few feet away. “If what you say is true, then why are we not to marry?”

  “Elinor, cannot your mother explain this to you?” He rubbed his temple and ran his hand through his hair.

  “Evidently not. She tried, but got no further then you could not father children.”

  “Well. I am not obligated to explain the male anatomy to a silly little girl.” He punched the wall, causing the sconces to flicker.

  It was he who acted like a child. She’d risked everything to see him, and he had the nerve to call her names and dismiss her like a bothersome whelp. “I do not believe you. I do not believe there is anything wrong with you. You were just looking for a way out of a marriage you never wanted. It is all a lie. And even if it is not, the doctors cannot know in such a short time what will happen with your injuries. It makes no difference now. The carriage, if you please.”

  He crossed the room, tore the mantle from her hand and pushed her against the wall. Where there had once been passion, now his eyes burned with rage.

  She screamed his name, then held her tongue.

  He pressed his groin into her and smirked horribly. “Do you feel that?”

  “I feel nothing but the pain from where your hands are bruising me.”

  “Exactly. You feel nothing, because I am no longer a man, Lady Elinor. I will not marry you or anyone else because that part of me that once raged with desire is dead, and now all that is left is the rage.” He pounded the wall beside her head.

  She cringed, but when his hands fell away from her, she did not move. Instead, she kissed his cheek. “I am sorry that you are suffering so.”

  He pulled away, but she grabbed his arm. She wanted to sob, to hit him, to hug him, to tell him what he’d put her through. Part of her wanted to walk away and never see him again. “Don’t, Michael. Don’t pull away from me. None of this matters to me. Marry me.”

  He straightened and looked into her eyes. “I cannot.” All emotion left his voice. He was an empty shell of the man he’d been, and he no longer wanted her.

  It was over.

  He rang the bell, and Dolan appeared a few seconds later.

  Once the carriage was ordered, Elinor put her mantle on and walked to the foyer.

  Her mind reeled. He had been so angry, then cold. There had been a moment of passion but then only anger and resignation.

  When the carriage was ready, Michael followed her and handed her up. She wanted the door to close so that she could cry. She had been holding back and now she desperately needed release.

  Michael stepped up into the carriage and sat opposite her. He’d changed his robe for a long coat, but wore no neck cloth and wasn’t properly dressed for a London evening.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I am seeing you home. I am a gentleman, in spite of what you might think.” He crossed his arms and watched her.

  She crossed her own and looked out the window. The carriage jerked forward, and the street lined with townhouses rolled by. A barouche sped past, and then a cart pulled by a sturdy workhorse. Elinor needed the distractions to help her swallow her emotions.

  “Elinor, I am sorry. Regardless of what you think of me, it is because I have so much regard for you that I will not marry you. You deserve to have a whole husband and children of your own. I cannot give you what you need. You would come to regret our marriage, and in time you would have hated me for trapping you.”

  “How convenient. Now I hate you, and we didn’t have to waste all that time.” It was liberating to speak her mind instead of playing the dope all the time.

  He cringed, and his knuckles turned white where he gripped the window frame. “I suppose that is true. I do not want you to think what we had was unimportant to me. It was everything. I wanted to be your husband more than anything in the world.”

  “Evidently, it was not enough.”

  He moved to the other side of the carriage and took her hand. “Please, Elinor, do not do this to me. Tell me that you understand, and you do not hate me. I could not bear that too.”

  Loving him was impossible and hating him just as hard. A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

  He leaned forward and kissed it away. Then he straightened. “I am sorry. I had no right.”

  She held her words. It would do no good to rail at him. Another tear followed the first. When the carriage stopped in front of her home, she turned to him, and let her voice grow cold. “I regret this unpleasantness. I cannot forgive you. Good evening.”

  The footman opened the door and let down the step. He handed her out, and she rushed toward the front door of the townhouse.

  She hadn’t yet reached the door when tears fell in earnest.

  * * * *

  “Back home now, my lord?” Teddy, his footman, asked.

  “Yes.” Michael stared at the closed door of the Burkenstock townhouse. He wished he’d thought to bring brandy for the ride home. He longed for something to kill his pain.

  With a nod, the footman closed the door, and a moment later, the carriage moved again.

  At first he thought it would be better if she hated him, but hearing her say those words was too much. He prayed that God would make his heart stop so that this horrible agony would end.

  God’s answer was, “No.”

  Michael lived and breathed. London rolled past in a blur of houses and humanity until the carriage door opened at his front step.

  He made it halfway up the steps before the pain in his groin and leg overcame him. Rather than topple, he held tight to the stone rail and pulled himself through the front door. He clung to the foyer wall and Dolan’s arm to get to his study.

  “Should I call the doctor, sir?”

  Michael was sick of doctors and their terrible predictions. “Just bring me that decanter of brandy and a glass, Dolan.”

  Dolan
placed the decanter on the table beside Michael. After a quick bow, he left the study, closing the door behind him.

  Michael poured the brandy to the brim and gulped it down. It warmed his chest to his belly. He poured another and drank.

  Elinor had every right to be furious with him. The things he’d said and done were not gentlemanly and should not be forgiven. He’d only meant to frighten her off, but his temper had gotten the best of him.

  Taking the decanter and glass with him, he went to the couch. Sleep wouldn’t come, so he sat up and poured more brandy.

  After midnight, the study door opened.

  “Dolan, I do not require anything but to be left alone.”

  “That’s too bad.” Thomas Wheel sat across from him on the wingback chair. He ran a hand through his red hair.

  “What are you doing here, Tom?”

  He stood and took the decanter out of Michael’s reach. “I had a very odd note from your butler and thought it best if I stopped by before going home tonight.” Tom poured himself a brandy and sipped.

  “Meddling servants.”

  Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Servants who worry about their master’s wellbeing are to be cherished. Your domestic affairs aside, why are you drunk?”

  “Who says I am drunk? I am entitled to a bit of my own brandy when I am in pain.” The brandy was too far away, and his leg throbbed.

  Tom poured Michael a glass. “Perhaps you might sip that, Mike. I am sure your father had the same thought at some point. He would just have one to dull some pain of injustice. I am sure at the start he thought he deserved to drink his own brandy and act like an ass. He then justified his behavior with his level of drunkenness.”

  Michael put down the glass. His father’s legacy had ruined his family. The best thing he’d ever done for them was die. It wouldn’t do to leave that same horror for his brothers to deal with when he turned up toes.

  Tom put his down as well. “Why are you drunk?”

  Michael sat up. The room spun. “Elinor was here.”

  “Here. When?”

  “Tonight. She put herself in a hack and showed up at my door.”

  “Courageous girl. I didn’t realize she had that kind of meddle.” Thomas leaned back.

  Michael closed his eyes, but the spinning didn’t stop. His Elinor had been a delicate flower, but tonight she’d shone like a warrior queen. “Nor I. She was nothing like the girl I fell in love with.”

  “So you no longer love her. Is that why you’ve put yourself in this condition?”

  His heart hurt worse than his wound. “I think I love her more.”

  “Did you tell her that? Did you renew your engagement?” Thomas stretched his legs out and crossed his feet.

  “She was so beautiful and I tossed her from the house.”

  Tom jerked to the edge of the chair and spread his arms wide. “Why?”

  “I have nothing to offer.”

  “Then why are you drunk?”

  Michael leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “Tom, can we just sit here and not talk of Elinor Burkenstock? I will speak of anything else, but when I think of her, I just want to lose myself in that decanter.”

  “I am happy to sit and speak of the trouncing I gave Daniel during our fencing match on Monday.”

  Michael took a deep breath, ready to lose himself in one of Thomas’s amusing stories. “Start at the beginning and leave nothing out.”

  Chapter 3

  “Lord and Lady Marlton, accompanied by Mr. Thomas Wheel,” the housekeeper announced.

  Elinor put aside the list she’d been jotting into her journal and stood as they entered. As the men bowed, she and Sophia made their curtsies.

  Sophia called on her from time to time, but never with his lordship, and she’d certainly never had a call from Mr. Wheel before. “Good afternoon. I was not expecting guests. I will call for tea.”

  Sophia sat, and the gentlemen waited for Elinor to finish ordering tea. Once she sat next to Sophia, they also sat.

  “How are you, Elinor?” Sophia asked.

  “Fine.” There was a hollow tone to her voice she didn’t like, but couldn’t seem to alter.

  “Will your dear mother be back soon?” Thomas’s voice sounded too sweet.

  Elinor didn’t like it. There was something suspicious about this visit. “Not for several hours. She rides in the park at this time of day.”

  He nodded.

  “Mr. Wheel, it is a particular surprise to see you today. I do not believe you have ever paid me a call before, or were you calling on my ‘dear mother’?” Hard as Elinor tried, the viper’s tongue that emerged the night she visited Michael couldn’t be tamed.

  Thomas studied her for a long moment. He then looked at Sophia, who nodded and shrugged.

  “I shall not toy with you, Lady Elinor,” he said.

  The silent conversation between him and Sophia annoyed her. “Oh no, please don’t.”

  He almost smiled. “I have come because Sir Michael is in trouble and you are the only person who can save him.”

  “Then he shall perish.” She never took her gaze from his.

  Lord Marlton cleared his throat. “Elinor, will you not even hear him out?”

  “Why should I?” Betrayed again, but this time by Sophia. “Are you party to this as well? You call yourself my friend.” She stood, forcing the men to stand.

  “Elinor, I only said I would bring Tom here. I will support whatever you wish to do.” Sophia plucked at the fringe on the yellow settee.

  “You are just like all the rest. The three of you may leave now.” Elinor turned her back on her company. It was the height of rudeness.

  “That will do, Lady Elinor,” Thomas said.

  She faced him.

  “You will apologize this minute to Lady Marlton, or I swear I will take you over my knee. How dare you be so discourteous to your closest friend? She had only your welfare in mind, and it took much convincing to get her to agree to this visit. You have been hurt, and for that I am sorry. You blame Michael, and perhaps you are correct. I am only privy to part of the story. What I do know is that you are behaving as badly as the horrible gossips that nearly ruined you last year. What is worse is you are behaving that way toward the person who saved you. If not for Sophia, you would no longer be welcomed in society. Now apologize.” Frowning, he propped one fist on his hip.

  Elinor’s heart pounded. She wanted to close her ears to him and blind herself to what he said. He’d sapped the anger out of her, and she looked at Sophia, who cried quietly. Elinor burst into hysterical sobbing.

  Sophia rushed to Elinor and took her in her arms.

  Between sobs, Elinor said, “I am so sorry, Sophia. I never meant… Forgive me…”

  “Of course I forgive you. It is nothing. You were distraught.” Sophia gave Thomas a harsh look, to which he merely shrugged.

  When she had calmed enough and was sitting on the settee next to Sophia, she looked up at Mr. Wheel. “What has happened now?”

  “A comment was made about you at a gaming hell, and Michael has challenged the man to a duel.” Thomas sat and folded his arms.

  Dueling was idiotic and illegal. “What does that have to do with me? I understand that it is foolish, but Sir Michael is said to be a superior swordsman as well as a superior shot with a pistol, is he not? I am sure he shall emerge victorious.”

  “That is not all, Elinor.” Daniel exchanged a look and nod with Thomas. “Thomas and I do not believe that Michael intends to win the duel.”

  “I do not understand.” She tugged at a loose thread on the yellow cushion. When it gave, it left a run in the fabric.

  Daniel cleared his throat and walked to the fire. He poked at the flame, forcing it to catch.

  Thomas brushed his breeches for the second time and tugged on his waistcoat.

  Elinor hoped a hole would open in the floor and suck her out of the room and its uncomfortable silence.
Unfortunately, the townhouse was solid. “Where is this duel to take place?”

  Thomas stood rigid and crossed his arms. “On a wooded property just outside of town.”

  “When?” Her voice was strong, but still she did not allow emotion to cloud her judgment.

  “Just after dawn tomorrow,” Thomas said.

  She nodded. “Come and collect me early enough to stop this madness. I shall be ready.”

  “You are doing the right thing.” Thomas relaxed.

  Elinor hated everything about this plan. “I will not have his blood on my hands. That is the only reason that I am doing this. If he means to kill himself, he will have to find some other excuse.”

  Thomas pointed at her and drew in a long breath.

  Waving her hand about, Sophia said, “Very well then, we shall leave you to the rest of your day, Elinor. Daniel and I will, of course, be joining you in the morning. No need to give the gossips more to flap about.”

  They made a hasty exit.

  Tears rolled down Elinor’s face. She’d cried a river since her meeting with Michael a month earlier. She was sick of crying.

  * * * *

  An hour before dawn, Elinor waited near the front door. She’d left Mother a note explaining that she had gone out early for a walk. She would think it outrageous, but since Virginia never rose before ten, she would assume early was perhaps nine o’clock. If things went as planned, she would be home before Mother had much time to think about the matter.

  The servants would only answer direct questions, and Mother wasn’t likely to ask the time of her departure.

  When the carriage stopped in front of the stoop, Elinor rushed from the house. Her heart pounded, and the temptation to run back upstairs was strong.

  The footman hadn’t dismounted before she stood waiting to be handed up.

  “Good morning.” Elinor climbed in and sat next to Thomas Wheel. Sophia and Daniel faced them.

  They muttered good morning before falling silent for the winding route out of the city. At the early hour, only servants and workers occupied the streets.