If It Walks Like A Killer (The Carolina Killer Files #1)

by Kiersten Modglin

  “Oh, come on, Caide. We both know they don’t notice anything. We’ve worked together for seven years. You’ve led me on for seven years. Do you even know how that feels? All the dinners and the drinks and the late night phone calls? All the times I’ve stayed late just to talk to you when you and Rachael were having problems? It wasn’t just business, it’s never been just business between us. You can’t keep pretending. I see how you act when you’re wife is around, how you look at her. I just feel sorry for you, Caide. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to pretend to be so in love all the time. It could be better than that, it should be better. You just, you make me feel like a child, like this is all one sided, but it’s not. You can’t believe that it is.”

  “Blaire, yes, okay? I’ve led you on. Of course I have. God, you’re beautiful and ambitious and fun, but Rachael and I have gone through rough patches. We’ve been through several, actually, and I’ve used you to get through them. I know it’s wrong. I know you deserve better. I can’t give you what you want, Blaire, I know I’ve made you feel like maybe someday I could, but I’m not a good guy. I’m not good for you. I have two kids to think about and a wife who, despite our problems, has never been anything but good to me. Everything I do affects them. I just can’t do this. I’m sorry. I am. I wish I could make this easier.”

  Blaire was silent for a second, looking out the window. “You hide behind your family because you’re scared of what will happen if you admit the truth. You’re scared of what will happen if your perfect little world shatters. The world isn’t perfect and at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how people see you or what anyone thinks, it matters how you feel about yourself. Whether or not you are happy. Just tell me you’re happy, and I’ll back off.”

  Caide was still, watching Blaire’s hands shake in anger.

  “You aren’t a bad guy, Caide.” She looked toward the window attempting to hide her tears. “You’re trying to do the right thing and I know that. I just wish the right thing didn’t have to hurt so badly.”

  Caide felt a lump in his throat as they pulled up to the parking meter. “Can we just do this dinner tonight? Just get through it civilly and then we’ll talk some more on the way home?”

  Blaire nodded, pulling down her mirror to adjust her makeup. Caide, unsure of what to do, politely opened his door and waited outside for her to collect herself. Once she was finished they walked into the restaurant together, smiles filling their faces like nothing was wrong.

  Chapter Seven

  Blaire

  Blaire and Caide walked quietly to the car, waving politely to Mr. Mock. Mason gave them a discreet thumbs up. They climbed into Caide’s car in silence, the smiles disappearing from their faces. Blaire was unsure of what to say or how to approach the subject again. Caide Abbott was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. She’d never been the smartest or the richest, but Blaire had always known she was the prettiest. She wasn’t necessarily conceited, it was just a truth she’d grown to live with. Being pretty had made her independent. She’d known from a young age that if she ever wanted to make it out of her small town she’d have to work her butt off to get a scholarship and that’s exactly what she’d done. She’d put herself through college and gotten a degree that would land her a job with power, one that would make the world listen to her. Finally, she’d be in a position to make people see her as more than just a pretty face. When the time had come, she’d found herself on the doorstep of Mason and Meachum Law Office. It was the biggest karmic joke ever that she’d worked so hard only to settle for being a secretary. Seven years later and still she stayed. She’d stayed for Caide. Despite what everyone said, despite the pitiful looks she received from the all-knowing eyes at the office, Caide had been falling for her. Maybe he wasn’t now, she couldn’t be sure, but at one point he was. Because of that, he’d made her love him. He was the first man whose eyes didn’t go directly to her chest when he spoke to her. He treated her with respect, and that was something Blaire had never been given before.

  Suddenly the car stopped, interrupting Blaire’s thoughts. She stared at her front door.

  “My car is at work.”

  He stared straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel with both hands.

  Blaire grabbed his hand. “Dude, my car is at work.”

  He turned and looked at her, her heart fluttered. They stared at each other, unmoving and silent for what seemed like a lifetime to Blaire. Then despite everything he’d been saying all night, despite every feeling he’d denied, he was kissing her. He kissed her like it was the last time he’d ever kiss anyone, like she was oxygen and he couldn’t catch his breath. He kissed her like she was his lifeline, like he was dying. He kissed her deeper than she’d ever been kissed. He kissed her like he loved her. Then, just like that, it was over.

  “You should go.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “Caide, please. You can’t keep doing this to me.”

  And they were kissing again. His hands filled her hair, his thumbs rubbing her cheeks. The kiss was sweeter this time, her tears rubbing onto his face. They kissed for what could’ve been hours, maybe even years. Blaire’s heart raced and her skin blazed. They gripped each other tightly, grasping for air, not wanting to stop.

  “I love you,” came his breathless whisper.

  She’d heard it, but she couldn’t believe her ears. He was still kissing her, his hands running over her head and shoulders. She pulled back, though it broke her heart to do so. “What?”

  The realization of what he’d said resonated on his face. He was silent, his mouth hanging open.

  “Caide? What did you say?”

  Blaire recognized the lack of emotion in his eyes then; it resurfaced, like it had never left.

  “You should go.”

  “Caide?” She begged him to repeat himself, grabbing his arm tightly.

  He shrugged her off. “Damn it, Blaire. Go.”

  She jumped back, unable to comprehend what was happening.

  “We crossed a line tonight.” It was barely a whisper. He wiped every trace of her off of his lips. “We crossed a line tonight, Blaire. It can never happen again. I need you to understand me. Never. Now go.”

  She blinked, trying to clear her head which was still fuzzy from their kiss. She reached for the door handle, unable to speak. She exited the car with her head held high, never looking back. She resisted the urge to wipe away his kiss, though her lips were still burning and red. When she reached her door she opened and shut it quickly, barricading herself behind it. She watched through the blinds as he drove away, praying he’d stop, praying he’d run up her doorstep and demand to see her, to apologize, to explain everything, maybe even to kiss her again. As his taillights faded down the dark street she heaved a sigh of relief, feeling the all-too-familiar tears flood her eyes. She walked to her bedroom, sank into her bed, still fully dressed, and then like so many nights before she allowed herself to drift to sleep crying over Caide Abbott.

  Chapter Eight

  Caide

  Caide drove to the office the next morning, unsure of what to expect. As he pulled up he noticed several people standing around a tow truck, attempting to tow Blaire’s car.

  Damn. He’d forgotten all about leaving her without a car.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked defensively to the tattooed man whose sleeveless shirt introduced him as Smittie. “That’s an employee’s car. You have no right.”

  The man turned to him, holding a clipboard and reeking of cigarette smoke. “Who are you?”

  Caide huffed. “I’m Caide Abbott, executive assistant here at Mason and Meachum. Now, that is an employee’s car you are towing. She has every right to park here.”

  “Listen buddy, all I know is I got a call to come pick up a car with four flat tires. I don’t see any others around here, do you?”

  “Flat tires?” He looked to see all four tires sitting flat on the rims.

  Just then, Blaire burst out of the door
, looking distraught. “Caide?”

  “Blaire? What happened?”

  Blaire shook her head. “Someone slashed my tires last night.”

  “Did you call the cops?”

  “I did. They filed a report but there are no witnesses and we only have cameras on the inside so they’ll be of no help. They didn’t seem optimistic that they’d find anything. It was probably just some kids acting out.”

  “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe it. We’ve never had any trouble here before.”

  “I know it. Meachum’s talking about installing security cameras outside now.”

  “Listen,” he said, pulling her out of earshot of the tow truck, “about last night—”

  “Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t want to hear it. Let’s just forget about it, okay?”

  “You’re sure? I just wanted to say—”

  “I just can’t hear it today, Caide. Not with everything else going on. Just forget it, please.”

  He nodded, following her into the building, and telling himself there was nothing he’d like more than to forget it.

  ***

  Rachael

  Rachael heard the doorbell ring from the kitchen. She stood up, sitting Davis in her seat. “Don’t move, okay? Keep my seat warm. I’ll be right back.”

  Davis nodded, watching intently as his sister tried to put the Little Mermaid puzzle together again. Rachael walked to the door, wondering who to expect. As she got to the door a smile filled her face. “Audrey?” she shouted, pulling the door open and lugging her best friend into a hug. “I’ve missed you. It’s been way too long.”

  “I know, Rach. I’ve missed you too, so much. I’m sorry I haven’t called in a while. John and I have just been so busy.”

  “Wait? John? So there is still a John? The last time I talked to you, you were both ready for a divorce.”

  “Gosh, has it been that long?” she asked, dropping her purse to the ground. “He asked me to go to therapy. You know after I lost the baby, I just sort of lost touch with everything. It was a last resort, but our therapist is amazing. You’d love her. I swear she’s a miracle worker. We’re happy now; actually I have some big news.”

  “What?” Rachael asked, her gaze wandering to Audrey’s flat tummy.

  “No.” She rubbed her stomach. “Not that. We’re moving back home.”

  “What?”

  “We put a down payment on a house yesterday. It’s over on Hillsboro. It’s so adorable, Rach, you’re going to love it.”

  “That’s amazing, Audrey. I’m so glad to have you home, the kids will be too. We’ve missed you so much.” She pulled her into another hug. “I’m glad to hear you and John are doing better. He’s good for you. I’ve always thought that.”

  Audrey smiled. “Thanks, Rach. So tell me about you all. What’s been going on?”

  “Oh you know La Rue, nothing new ever happens. Although you did miss a bit of drama last week. We had a car wreck.”

  “A wreck, oh my God, Rachael. What happened? Was anyone hurt?”

  “Not seriously, no. Just a few scrapes and bruises. Poor Davis got the worst of it.”

  “Davis? Oh Rachael. I haven’t even met him yet. Has it really been two years since I’ve last seen you? Can I meet him?”

  “Of course.” Rachael couldn’t believe how quickly the time had passed. She led her into the kitchen. “Brin, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  Her daughter’s eyes immediately lit up as she jumped from her chair to Audrey’s waiting arms. “Aunt Audrey.”

  “Oh, Brin-Brin, I’ve missed you so very much. Look how big you’ve gotten. I can barely hold you up anymore.”

  Brinley smiled at this, hugging her neck.

  “And who is this handsome fellow?” Audrey playfully rubbed Davis’ hair.

  He ducked behind the back of his chair, hiding his face shyly. Rachael approached him, smiling brightly.

  “Davis, darling, this is your Aunt Audrey. Can you say hello?”

  Davis looked from his mother to Audrey and back a few times. “Hello,” he mumbled finally under his breath.

  “You know, the last time I saw you,” Audrey told him, “you were just a tiny little baby inside your Mommy’s tummy. You didn’t even have a name yet.”

  “He didn’t have a name?” Brinley asked, astonished.

  “That’s right, not at first, but I think your mommy and daddy picked out the best name of all. In fact, can I have it?”

  “No,” Davis cried.

  “Please? I want it. I’ll be Davis from now on,” she teased.

  “No! I Davis.” He laughed.

  Audrey held out her arms for him. “Oh, fine. You’re Davis. I can’t believe I’m just meeting you, little guy. I love you so much.” She kissed his cheek.

  “So, do you guys want help with this puzzle? Who is that? Ariel?” Audrey pulled up a chair, holding Davis in her lap.

  Rachael smiled. Before she could sit down her phone rang. “Will you watch them for a second?”

  Audrey nodded, already invested in the puzzle. Rachael ran to the living room, searching for where she’d last laid the phone. She found it, finally, mixed in a pile of toys.

  “Hello?”

  “Rach, it’s me.”

  “Hey, Caide, is everything okay?”

  “Yes, everything’s fine. I just wanted to let you know I’m—”

  “Let me guess. You’re going to be late again?”

  He paused, heaving a sigh. “Mason’s client is about to walk, we just have to put together a closing argument. He’s a big client, babe. We can’t afford to lose this one.”

  “You were out late last night too. We miss you. Your kids miss you. Please just come home tonight, just one night.”

  “I don’t have a choice.”

  “You know, I thought after the accident things would be different. I thought maybe you’d change. Guess I was just kidding myself.”

  “Look, I’m in with Mason now. I promise I’ll try. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “This evening, Caide.”

  “Right. See you then.”

  “Okay, be careful.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line, Rachael stared at the phone screen hearing the dial tone that let her know the call was over. “I love you too.”

  Chapter Nine

  Caide

  Caide hung up the phone, looking around his empty office. His desk was piled high with paperwork but he couldn’t keep Blaire out of his mind long enough to focus and get anything done. She hadn’t stopped in to see him all day, which had Caide worried. He knew she was hurt, and she had every right to be, but she’d never stayed mad at him for so long before. He knew he had no right to be upset with her, but he was. For the past seven years Blaire had been there for him even when he’d pushed her away. When he and Rachael had nearly split up before she became pregnant with Davis, it was Blaire he’d run to. When he’d heard there were going to be complications with the pregnancy, it was Blaire who’d listened to his worst fears. When he was stressed over work, Blaire had made it all better. He’d never meant to fall for her but after years of never admitting to himself how he felt, last night had made it clear. It had never hurt so much to be ignored.

  He’d watched his door like a hawk, waiting to see the knob turn, to smell that vanilla perfume, but it hadn’t happened. If he wanted to see her, it was clear he’d have to make the first move. Until he talked to her, until he cleared the air, the pile of work on his desk wasn’t going to be touched. He walked out of his office with determination only to find that she was leaving Mr. Mason’s office, his hand on her back.

  “Well, just make sure you collaborate with Caide about any potential candidates and let me know when you have a decision. I know you’ll make the right choice, you two make a great team,” he shook his head, “It’s a shame. It won’t ever be the same around here.”

  Blaire nodded politely and walked to her desk, eyeing Caide suspiciously.

  “Candidate fo
r what?”

  “Excuse me?” she asked defiantly.

  “What candidates? What was he talking about?”

  She smiled, looking down and beginning to type something on her computer. “The candidates for Mason and Meachum’s new secretary.”

  “What? They need two?”

  “They need one. I put in my notice.” The words hit him hard. He waited for her to smile, to say she was kidding, but she didn’t. Instead she continued to type, avoiding his eye contact.

  “You did what?”

  “I’m leaving this company.”

  “Why?” he demanded, leaning down closer so no one could eavesdrop, “Not because of last night?”

  She looked at him now, her eyes full of pain. “You don’t get to ask me that, Caide. You don’t get to ask me why and you don’t get to care.”

  “Of course I care. How can you say that? You can’t just leave because you’re mad at me. It’s not fair. You’ll regret it if you leave like this.”

  She frowned at him, shaking her head and whispering heatedly, “I am not leaving because of you, first of all, so screw you. I’m leaving for me. This is the first thing I’ve done for me in so long I can’t even remember, so no, I’m not going to regret it. Thanks for caring.”

  “Blaire, please—”

  “I’m busy, Caide, you should go.” She threw his words back at him like knives, each word piercing his heart.

  “Fine.” He walked away, pacing himself to allow her to call him back, maybe even to follow him. She didn’t.

  ***

  It was after seven and Caide still hadn’t been able to focus on his work. How dare she just leave? If he wasn’t home soon Rachael would go crazy. He grabbed his files and locked them in a drawer, sighing. He opened his office door to find Bart Meachum standing in his doorway, hand in the air prepared to knock.