Claiming Love

by Lucia Jordan

  Her gaze moved up his back and to his broad, muscular shoulders. She noticed a few scratches and cupped her hand over her mouth to stop the cry of disbelief from escaping. Had she done that to him? She'd never scratched a man hard enough to leave marks before. Then again, she'd never been with a man like Danny before. Krista loved just watching Danny, but it was bordering on awkward now, so she had a decision to make. Either sneak away before he noticed her or make her presence known. If she were to sneak away, maybe she could make a clean break and just go home without having to face him right now.

  And then Danny turned around and pinned her with that smoldering baby blue gaze he'd given her last night. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Morning," she muttered. He smiled and her heart melted. Would it be wrong to go to him and kiss him?

  "I was going to bring you breakfast in bed," he said.

  She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "You were?" Wasn't that something reserved for couples and not best friends?

  "Yeah, I figured we needed to talk about what happened last night. I thought we could do that over breakfast."

  Her stomach fell to the floor. Of course he wanted to talk. And from the way he said it, she had a feeling that whatever he wanted to say was going to be something she didn't want to hear. She'd known Danny her entire life, and she knew when to expect something from him. Well, she was going to make him do all the talking, so she didn't say something stupid and make a fool of herself. "And you thought doing so in bed, where you have handcuffs readily at your disposal, is a good place to talk?"

  He laughed, putting a plate of scrambled eggs and toast on the table, and nodding for her to sit. She did, and then he sat across from her. "Sorry about the handcuffs," he said, taking a forkful of eggs and putting them in his mouth. "But in my defense, you really didn't seem to mind."

  Krista looked down at her plate and studied her eggs. Oh God, she was mortified. What was worse, Danny was right. She had enjoyed being completely and totally at his mercy. She cleared her throat. "Is that, uh, something you normally do?" she asked, praying that her voice sounded casual.

  Danny shrugged. "It's nice to be in control like that," he said.

  "I bet." Her hand shook as she picked up her fork and attempted to eat. She hoped Danny didn't notice how nervous and uncomfortable she was. They ate in awkward silence for several moments.

  Then he spoke. "Look, Krista, about last night..." he sighed heavily, "It was fun. A lot of fun." He emphasized the word lot. "And I'd be a bold faced liar if I said I didn't enjoy it."

  "But...?" She knew it was coming.

  "But, I don't want what happened to come between our friendship."

  She breathed a sigh of relief, and then smiled. That wasn't so bad. "Neither do I," she said.

  "Good." Danny seemed visibly relieved with her response. "I was afraid things would be weird between us, and I'd never be able to live with myself if I lost your friendship."

  Lost my friendship? The realization of what he was implying slowly sunk in. Afraid to come right out and ask him what she already knew, instead she asked, "So, we're on the same page then?"

  "Yeah, let's just forget all about last night. As great as it was, it was a mistake. I think we both knew that last night, but we'd both had too much to drink, and I was upset about Jessica..." He shook his head. "Your friendship is more important to me than sex, Krista."

  The back of her throat burned with the threat of tears. Danny wanted to forget about last night, act like it had never happened, and carry on as they always did---as friends. She felt her heart shatter in her chest, the jagged pieces coursed through her veins, slowly tearing her apart from the inside out. Could she really just be his friend? She'd had a secret crush on this man since high school. And she'd finally been able to spend the night with him, and now he expected her to just forget it and go on her merry way? Was he delusional?

  "Krista? Are you okay?" Danny had come around to where she sat and was crouched next to her.

  She slowly turned her head to look at him. It was unfair that he was taking this whole thing so lightly, like everything they'd done, everything he'd said, didn't matter to him at all. That's what hurt the most---the things he'd said to her last night. She'd believed every word he said. She felt like such a fool. He hadn't meant any of them. It was nothing more than bedroom talk, sweet nothings whispered in her ear in the heat of the moment. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes.

  Danny put his hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle caress. "Hey, what's wrong?"

  Krista jerked away from his touch and abruptly stood. "I think I'm gonna be sick," she said, turning and rushing toward the bathroom. She barely made it inside and closed the door before she threw up in the toilet. Closing the lid, she rested her cheek on it, the porcelain cool against her clammy skin. Tears streaked her face, and she didn't bother trying to stop them or wipe them. What was the point? Sure, she'd had her fair share of one-night stands with random men, and they'd always just been about the sex. But there was no way in hell that was what happened last night. She could never see Danny as just a one-night stand.

  It seemed obvious that Danny didn't want more. And that broke her heart. She didn't want to forget about it. She didn't want to act like it never happened. She wanted to tell Danny that she wanted more than just his friendship. But she couldn't. He'd made his feelings crystal clear and there was nothing she could do to change that. Begging and pleading would only make her look pathetic. She stood and went to the sink, splashing cold water on her face, and then staring at her reflection for several long moments. What the hell was she going to do? Nothing was ever going to be the same between them---at least, not for her anyway. The reality of her situation was harsh. She either agreed to his terms; to forget about last night and just be his friend, or not to have him in her life at all. Neither option was ideal, but she knew she couldn't live the rest of her life without Danny. Friends was better than nothing.

  There was a soft knock on the door. "Hey, Krista, baby, you okay in there?"

  She hung her head and let more tears fall. Baby. He'd never called her that until last night. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." Krista blew her nose, and then splashed more cold water on her face, hoping she could pass off her crimson cheeks and erratic behavior as nothing more than a hangover. She opened the bathroom door to find Danny leaning up against the opposite wall, arms crossed, looking concerned and sexy as hell.

  He grinned. "Someone had a little too much to drink, huh?"

  "Yeah." She forced a laugh. "I think I'm just going to head home and go to bed."

  "You can crash here if you want. I'm leaving in about half an hour to meet the guys for a game of basketball."

  Krista shook her head. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm just going to go home."

  "Okay, well, I'll stop by later and we can hang out. I'll bring a pizza and some movies."

  "Yeah, sure." She smiled weakly. For the first time ever, she didn't want to hang out with Danny. In fact, she didn't want to see him at all. The sooner she got out of his apartment, the better. She needed to be alone, to figure out what the hell she was going to do with all these feelings.

  Danny smiled. "Good. Go home and rest up." He winked. "I'll see you later."

  Krista nodded. He pulled her into a hug. She clung to him, her face buried in his shoulder. God, it felt so right to be in his arms. She bit on the inside of her cheek to stop from crying.

  Danny's hands rubbed up and down her back, and then he whispered, "Things are going to be okay, Krista. I promise."

  Yeah right, she didn't believe that for a second. Things would never be okay. She released him and nodded. "Well, thanks for breakfast."

  When Krista got home, she collapsed face down on her bed and cried, her face buried in the pillows. For how long, she had no idea. But it felt good to just get it all out. At one point, she thought about taking a shower then decided against it. Showering would wash Danny's sent and the remnants of h
is touch from her body, and she wasn't quite ready to do that yet.

  *****

  It had been a week since Krista had spent the night with Danny and they'd had sex. The day after it had happened, Danny was supposed to come over and hang out to watch movies. He'd called and said something came up and he couldn't make it. It was then that she truly knew things between them had changed, despite his promise that they wouldn't. Krista hadn't seen or spoken to him since. Sure, he has tried to call, but she'd been ignoring all of them. What else could she do? There was nothing left to be said. He wanted friendship. She wanted more. One of them had to give up what they wanted so the other could be happy. She knew Danny wouldn't, which meant she had to.

  Krista finished wiping down the kitchen counter, and then looked around her apartment. Everywhere she looked, there were memories of Danny. The couch where they'd spent countless hours watching movies or playing video games. The kitchen table where they'd shared too many pizzas and lots of laughs. The small balcony where they'd commiserated over broken hearts. Danny had dubbed it the Break-up Balcony. Maybe it was time to move, she thought.

  All week she'd been struggling to decide if she could live without Danny. And the answer was a resounding no. The past week had been pure hell. She'd been so bored and lonely. By the middle of the week she'd resolved to the fact that if she couldn't have him as a lover or a boyfriend then she'd have to settle for having him as a friend. But what would happen when he got a new girlfriend? There is no way she could watch him with another woman. Danny was the type of man who was openly affectionate with his women, too. Always touching them, kissing them, whispering in their ears---the thought made Krista's stomach turn, which was a reaction she'd been having a lot lately.

  That solved it. She had to tell Danny how she felt. She had to come clean and tell him that she couldn't be his friend, that it was all or nothing for her. Krista grabbed her purse and keys and headed downstairs to her car. Her hand hovered on the door handle, and she hesitated. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. As things stand now, at least she still had the option of being his friend. If she went through with this, she wouldn't have him at all. She shook her head. She had to do this.

  Krista got in the car and started the engine. Then she hesitated again as she tried to remember why she hadn't told Danny the truth about her feelings years ago, before they'd had sex. The most obvious reason was that he was her best friend, and she'd been terrified of ruining their friendship. Well, the friendship had already been ruined, in her mind, so telling him now couldn't possibly make things any worse. But the other reason she'd never told him was because she'd heard that he was into bondage and all that BDSM stuff. Up until a week ago, she never knew if that was actually true. Now she did. And that gave her pause. Did she really want to be involved with a man that wanted to do all that kinky stuff to women? It kind of creeped her out.

  She sighed and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. The memory of how it had felt to be handcuffed to Danny's bed, to be at his mercy, to have such complete faith and trust in another person... she couldn't deny that she'd liked it. A lot. Krista sat up and put the car in gear. She was going to go tell him. But before she had the chance to even pull out of the driveway, her cell phone rang. She dug it out from her purse. It was Danny. With a trembling hand, she accepted the call. "Hey Danny," she said, trying to sound calmly cheerful.

  "Krista, I've been calling all week. I'm worried sick about you. Are you okay? Why haven't you been answering my calls? And where have you been? I've stopped by your apartment a few times and even called your office," he said without taking a breath.

  "Work has been keeping me really busy this week," she lied. "I've been stuck in meetings and my boss sent me out to help with some on-site stuff." At least that was the partial truth.

  "But you're okay?"

  "Yes, I'm fine." He breathed an audible sigh of relief and Krista smiled. God how she'd missed him.

  "Look, I think we need to talk," he said, his voice cautious.

  Krista got that weird feeling in her stomach again. "I think you're right. We do need to talk. I'm actually on my way to your apartment right now," she said, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road. "Are you home?"

  "Yes, but..."

  She hung up on him before he could say anything else. The longer he talked, the more she lost the nerve to tell him the truth. And she wouldn't be swayed this time. One way or another today would either be the start of a new relationship or the end of their friendship. Krista was only certain of one thing, she couldn't continue on like she had been this past week. It was slowly killing her.

  It was good that Danny only lived ten minutes away, because if the drive had been any longer, she probably would've turned around and gone home. By sheer determination, and too much adrenaline, Krista took the elevator up to the sixteenth floor and walked with confidence to Danny's door. She knocked loudly. He must've been waiting for her because the door opened immediately, and Danny enveloped her in a hug. She closed her eyes and hugged him back. They held on to each either for several long moments. When he finally released her, she stepped inside his apartment and found Jessica, his ex-girlfriend, sitting on the couch dressed in nothing more than one of Danny's tshirts.

  Book 2: The Promotion

  Krista stood, stunned, unable to move, speak or comprehend what she was seeing. What the fuck was Jessica doing here? And why was she half naked, lounging on Danny's couch like she owned the damn place? The sound of Danny closing the door startled her, and she jumped. Her heart constricted and she had difficulty drawing a breath.

  Jessica stood and smiled. "I'll give you two a few minutes." She winked at Danny. "You know where I'll be," she said with a giggle.

  Krista swallowed the bile rising in her throat, and then slowly turned to look at Danny, who was grinning like an idiot. "Are you two...?" Her voice cracked as her words trailed off.

  "Yeah," he said with a smile. "That's why I've been trying to call you. The day after she dumped me, she called, we met up, and we spent all night talking."

  The color drained from Krista's face. That was the same day he was supposed to come over and watch movies, the day after he'd spent the night fucking her. She was heartbroken, disgusted, mortified, and so angry she was seeing red.

  "Look, Krista, she doesn't know about...well, you know, that night, and I'd like to keep it that way. So please, don't say anything, okay?" Danny's beautiful blue eyes pleaded with her.

  She'd never been able to deny him anything, and she knew she wouldn't deny him this either. But that didn't stop her from being downright pissed off. How dare he stand there and make her feel like nothing more than some dirty little secret? Didn't she mean more to him than that? Didn't years and years of friendship demand a tad bit more respect than what he was giving her?

  "Krista?"

  "Yeah, sure, whatever," she said, shaking her head. "Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." Krista turned and ran out the door. Any hopes she had of baring her soul to Danny and having him reciprocate her feelings had disappeared the moment she'd seen Jessica. Tears streaked her face as she pushed the button for the elevator. She hastily wiped them away. God, why did it have to hurt so much?

  "Krista!" Danny shouted as he ran out after her. Good grief, what was up with her? She'd been acting so strange lately. "Krista!" he shouted again. Either she didn't hear him, or she was ignoring him. He had a sinking suspicion it was the latter. From the end of the hall, he watched her get on the elevator. "Hold the door!" He ran full force toward the elevator, slipping inside just before the doors slid closed. The damn thing was so packed, he barely had room to get inside, let alone get close enough to talk to Krista. But he saw her. She was in the back of the elevator, in the corner, back to the doors, and head down.

  Thankfully, the elevator emptied on the fourteenth floor, leaving them alone. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. He was shocked to see her crying. It rendered him speechless for a moment.<
br />
  "What're you doing here, Danny?" she asked her voice weak from crying. "Isn't Jessica waiting for you?"

  He took a deep breath. "What's wrong with you, Krista? You're acting all crazy."

  She laughed sardonically, and then met his gaze. Her eyes, despite being wet, were cold and harsh. "You could've left me a message, you know? All those times you called, would it have been so hard to say, hey, Jess and I are back together?"

  Danny reached over and pushed the stop button, bringing the elevator to a screeching halt. He'd know Krista pretty much his entire life, and he'd never seen her act this erratically before. It was disconcerting. "I probably should have, but what's the big deal? So, I'm back together with Jess, who cares?"

  "I care," she screamed, pointing at her chest.

  Her outburst had him taking a step back. "Krista...I didn't..." God, he had no idea what to say. He'd never been in the position of not knowing what to say before. This was Krista for crying out loud. His best friend, the woman he shared everything with---and now he felt like he didn't know her at all. "Why?" he finally muttered.

  "Why?" She threw her hands up in the air. "Because I care about you Danny and Jess broke your heart once already. Do you really think she won't do it again? I can't believe you just took her back like this. God, what the hell were you thinking?"

  "I was thinking that I love her, and that she deserved a second chance."

  Without a word, Krista shoved past him and pushed the button to start the elevator moving again. She kept her back toward him, her arms tightly crossed over her chest. Danny pushed the stop button again, and Krista stumbled back. He reached out and steadied her. The feel of her in his arms again sent his insides into a tailspin he didn't fully understand.