Wish I Might

by Kait Nolan

  Lowering from his hands to his elbows, he cradled her face. “Okay?”

  Pressed skin to skin, body stretched around his, Cecily couldn’t contain the radiant smile. “So okay.” She laced her hands with his and kissed him.

  They began to move, an exquisite torture, riding the edge of pleasure. Skin began to slick and her heart beat hard and fast, in time with the pistoning of his hips. Tension coiled, and she rose higher, her body impossibly light and airy. Joy and love built in equal measure, until full to bursting, she wrapped tight around him and took the leap, carrying him with her.

  ~*~

  Reed woke in the chill, gray light of dawn and reached for Cecily, thinking they could keep each other warm for another half hour before getting up for work. But his bed was empty. Pushing himself up on one elbow, he frowned. Had it all been a dream? No. He could still smell her on the pillow.

  He ran a hand over her side of the bed and found the sheets cold. Had she snuck out in the middle of the night to avoid the walk of shame? Did she have an early meeting she forgot about? They hadn’t talked much last night. Was she having regrets? Worse, had she changed her mind about possibly staying?

  With a heavy sigh, he flopped back on the bed and scrubbed both hands over his face. This was all too much to contemplate without coffee. As if conjured by the mere thought, the scent of it made his nose twitch. Praying he wasn’t hallucinating due to sleep deprivation, Reed rolled out of bed, tugged on some pajama pants and a t-shirt, and shuffled into the living room. He stopped at the edge of the kitchen, momentarily speechless with relief.

  She was at the table, feet propped on a chair, with a tiny laptop resting on her bare knees as her fingers flew over the keys. Her hair was a sexy, tumbled mess. He’d done that, and at the sight of it, he wanted to do it all over again. Especially as she wore only his shirt, the sleeves rolled several times to free her hands. He liked seeing her in his space, liked that she’d made herself at home. Seeing her here, like this, it was so easy to imagine her as part of his home.

  As if sensing his gaze on her, she looked up. No sexy bedroom eyes here. She looked bright and alert and suspiciously like she may have already downed half a pot of the coffee still on the burner. “Morning.”

  Reed grunted and shuffled toward the coffee. There would be no coherent speech until the first hit of caffeine. He filled his favorite mug and watched as the heat made the Bat Signal appear on the side. With another jaw-cracking yawn, he joined her at the table, taking in pages of handwritten notes spread over the surface.

  “How long have you been up?” he rasped.

  “A while,” she admitted.

  He angled his head, squinting at one of the sheets, but without his reading glasses, it was hopeless. “What is all this?”

  “A business plan."

  “You’re working on a business plan at the ass crack of dawn? After we were up half the night?” Reed looked at her in suspicion. “You’re a morning person.”

  Cecily’s lips twitched at the accusation. “My inner body clock does tend to have me up before the sun. But I was too nervous to sleep.”

  Reed frowned. “Nervous? Are you uncomfortable here?” She didn’t look it. But maybe it was the sleepover portion of things that was the problem.

  “Not about staying with you. I needed to do some serious thinking, and I couldn’t do that all snuggled up with you.”

  Bracing himself for a serious conversation, Reed drained half his coffee. “Okay.”

  She set the laptop aside. “When you presented this plan last night, I wanted to jump at it. I don’t want to walk away from you, from this.”

  Her fingers tangled with his on the table, and Reed wished he’d downed all the coffee for fortification. He knew last night had been too fast, too easy. Now that the haze of lust and that initial reaction was past, she was second guessing everything.

  “But I can’t be reckless about this. I made a very serious mistake once, and it came back to bite both me and my family in the ass. I can’t afford to do that again. If I’m going to do this, it has to be a considered decision, one where I’ve gone through all the details, worked out all the practicalities myself, rather than trusting someone else to do it for me.”

  Well that stung. Something must’ve shown on his face because Cecily slipped out of her chair and came around to sit in his lap.

  “This has nothing to do with not trusting you. Or Norah, for that matter. It has to do with not trusting myself. I need to be able to justify this to my family, to know that what I’m doing isn’t just about what I selfishly want. When they ask me about the logistics, the start up capital, the expected return on investment, I need to have an answer.”

  Reed softened, sliding his hand around her nape. “They really did a number on you by cutting you out of your non-profit.”

  “I screwed up.”

  “You got taken advantage of by someone you cared about,” he corrected. “How long are you going to punish yourself for it? How long are they?”

  She stiffened. “I’m not—”

  “I think you are. I think you’ve spent the last however many years since the asshole questioning every decision you’ve made, replaying the whole thing, wondering what signs you missed or how you could’ve been so blind. And I get that. I get that you got burned and badly. I’m a businessman, so I also understand the need to prove viability of concept, of projecting profits and losses, and crossing all your ‘t’s and dotting all your ‘i’s. That’s just smart. Take what Norah and I put together for you and refine it. Make it fit you and your vision. But do it to make it yours, not because you feel like you have to get permission from someone else.”

  Cecily sighed and pressed her brow to his. “I have to prove that they can trust me again.”

  “Why? You’re an adult. Out on your own. Earning your own way.”

  “Because until I do, they’ll keep trying to rescue me. Using connections or influence to find me a place that’s worthy of a Davenport because they think they know better. I have to prove they can trust me to run my own life so they’ll let me do it.”

  Reed wondered what it would take to prove to Cecily that she could trust herself. But that was more than he was capable of thinking about on half a cup of coffee, so he wrapped his arms tighter. “Okay then. So what’s the verdict?”

  Her gaze shifted to the papers scattered across the table. “Well, I’m still working on some details, and I need to get some quotes on a few things, but…I think this could really work.”

  “Good.”

  He wanted to ask if she was confident enough in that to take the leap, but he wouldn’t force this decision. He’d already gotten further in the last twenty-four hours than he’d expected to get in a month. Putting pressure on her for more wouldn’t end well. Instead, he changed the subject. “Are you done working on this for a bit?”

  “I got most of what was in my head out of it.”

  “Good. Because we’ve got an hour before we have to get to work, and I’ve got a much better idea for how to spend it.”

  Chapter 9

  “I have a surprise for you.” Cecily could barely contain herself as she cornered Reed in his office.

  “Does it involve those two lips meeting these two lips?”

  “Totally not the surprise. Though I suspect we’ll get there.”

  “Then lay it on me.”

  She pulled the copy of the contract out of her purse and laid it on the desk.

  He pulled out his horn rims—swoon—and proceeded to scan it before his gaze snapped to hers. “This is a offer to purchase real estate. Here.”

  “It is. Mitch was right. The old train station would make an amazing office. My grandfather has a saying: Start as you mean to continue. If I’m going to make a business here, I might as well start out looking like a real—” But he’d skirted the desk and scooped her up with a whoop before she could finish.

  “This is amazing!”

  His unfettered enthusiasm curbed the ner
ves that’d been simmering beneath her excitement. He’d been so reserved the other morning, she hadn’t been entirely sure how he’d react.

  “The offer hasn’t been accepted yet. I low-balled it. The place has been vacant for years, so I figure there’s room for negotiation.”

  “You’re so sexy when you talk business. This calls for celebration.”

  Cecily blocked his mouth with a hand. “Later. I don’t have long, I need to get back to the office pretty soon. If you kiss me, you’ll just destroy my focus for the rest of the day. I just wanted to drop by and share the news. I need to call Verdant and cancel my interview.”

  Reed sobered. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  She gazed up at him, waiting for the uncertainty, the second guessing. But it never came. Crazy as it was, the decision felt right. “Sometimes you have to take a leap. This is mine.”

  His eyes warmed. “Okay then. Celebration after work. Whatever you want.”

  Oh the possibilities. “I’ll text you the details.”

  “Ah. Then I’d best get on over to pick up my replacement phone, post haste.” He pulled the cell out of his pocket to show the spiderweb cracks across the screen.

  “What happened?”

  “Dropped it. Naturally it hit the sidewalk at the exact angle needed to totally destroy it. They’re holding a replacement for me at the AT&T store in Lawley.” He checked his watch. “Which I need to be leaving to go pick up, now that Brenda is back from her lunch break.”

  “Go ahead. I’ll see you tonight. Do you mind if I just use your MacBook to put in some final tweaks to the book signing campaign?”

  “Knock yourself out.” Reed leaned over and typed in the unlock password. He waited until she took his vacated chair before dropping a quick kiss to her cheek. “Tonight.”

  As he walked out front to give Brenda instructions, Cecily loosed a dreamy sigh. Tonight.

  But for a few hours more, she had to bend her brain to work-related tasks. Shoving up her sleeves, she got to work.

  Brenda came in as she was loading the remaining newsletter blasts. “I can’t believe you’re okay with him staying friends with his ex.”

  Cecily looked up. “Huh?”

  “His ex. The one he texts with all the time.”

  What is she talking about?

  “I’ve met Annelise. He’s definitely not talking to her after the way she treated him.”

  “Not her. That one was a stone-cold bitch. I’m talking about Selina.”

  Who the hell is Selina?

  “He hasn’t told you about her, has he?”

  Cecily tried to recall if she’d ever heard him mention that name before but drew a blank.

  Brenda nodded, as if her silence confirmed it.

  Her automatic indictment of Reed annoyed Cecily. “I haven’t given him a rundown of all my exes either. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Are you all buddy-buddy with any of yours?”

  “Well, no, but—”

  The older woman rolled right over her protest. “If I were you, I’d want to know what they talk about.”

  Annoyance and sympathy stirred in equal measure. Cecily wondered if Brenda would ever get to a place where her ugly divorce didn’t color everything in her world. She hadn’t yet gotten to the point where she realized her over-sharing on the topic made everyone uncomfortable. “Well, that’s understandable given your experience. But Reed’s not like that. We’re good.”

  “Suit yourself.” Pausing in the doorway, she added, “But I didn’t think my ex was like that either.”

  Cecily stared at the door for several moments after Brenda had gone back down the hall.

  I will not let her make me paranoid. I’m not going to be that girl.

  She got back to work. But as she finished with the A-B newsletter groups, what Brenda said continued niggling at her.

  Other than Annelise, he’d never mentioned any ex. Certainly he’d have dated people in the intervening years, but no one of any particular significance. He’d have mentioned that. Wouldn’t he? As far as she knew, he hadn’t been involved with anyone between their almost fling in the summer and now. And even if he had been, they weren’t together before, so he had every right to have dated whoever he pleased.

  But she couldn’t help remembering Jefferson, who’d had a woman on the side. In the grand scheme of things, that’d been the least of his betrayals, so it wasn’t something she thought much about. But he’d cheated. People cheated every day. It was a sad fact.

  Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Reed wouldn’t do that.

  Even as she thought it, iMessage dinged.

  She wasn’t going to look, but she saw the name Tony Becker, the author for the big signing. Could be a bump in the road she’d need to smooth out quickly. Just in case, she clicked over.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  Becker was canceling due to a family emergency. Shit. Shit. Shit. And all the publicity is already out there.

  A part of her brain was already calculating how to deal with that, when she saw the name Selina Kyle in the list of iMessage contacts. The latest message was from earlier that morning. Wish you’d been able to hear last night’s talk from Barry Hanna. He was amazing.

  That was hardly a smoking gun. But she just couldn’t stop herself from looking, calling herself an idiot the whole time. She clicked over to the conversation.

  Holy shit.

  Reed and Selina talked a lot. The conversation scrolled back pages and pages. Nothing strange or incriminating, just friendly chat about books and daily life stuff. He’d even talked about her.

  Cecily smiled a little. “Master of my craft, huh?”

  But as she went back further, she could tell that they were clearly involved at some point. And there was never any change in the tone of their chat to indicate a break up.

  Don’t be stupid. Reed is absolutely the type who’d break up with someone in person.

  But even as the thought occurred to her, she couldn’t help but remember all the times she’d seen him texting and smiling. When she’d asked who he was talking to and he’d put her off, saying it was no one important.

  The devil on her shoulder whispered in her ear, There’s an easy way to answer this question.

  Her conscience screamed, Don’t do it! This is a violation of his trust and his privacy!

  The devil poked at her conscience with a pitchfork. And if he’s got nothing to hide, then there’s nothing to lose. And if he does have something to hide…

  “I’m going to hell,” Cecily muttered, and clicked in the message box. You there? She wished immediately she could take it back.

  But the reply was almost instant. There you are. You’ve been quiet lately.

  Okay. Okay, you’re in it now. Might as well get the answers you’re looking for and prepare to grovel and apologize later. Been busy. Can you do me a favor?

  Selina: Name it, tiger.

  How to ask this without it coming across as weird? Define our relationship.

  The laughing emoji came first, followed by Selina’s reply. Got another naysayer because I’m long-distance, huh? Fine. Yes, I exist. Yes, I’m your girlfriend. A picture of a cute blonde making a kissy face popped up.

  Cecily’s head began to roar. Since when?

  Since beginning of August.

  The, Thanks, was automatic, though Cecily’s hands were trembling.

  Selina: What’s this for? Your mom? Tell her she’s free to send me a batch of her famous snickerdoodles any time she likes.

  Nausea roiled in her stomach.

  August. Selina and Reed had been together since August. Which made her the other woman.

  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Clearly her picker was broken, as her cousin Blair would say. And she’d be right.

  Oh God. Oh God how could I have been so stupid? How could I show such horrible judgment again?

  Shoving back from the desk with shaky legs, she gathered her purse and headed for Ci
ty Hall. At least I can stop this one in its tracks.

  ~*~

  Shit. Shit. Double shit.

  As soon as his new phone was up and running, the first message to pop up was from Tony Becker. Canceling.

  Reed had spent the drive back from Lawley getting in touch first with Becker’s publicist, then with Tony himself to see if there was any way to talk him out of it. Given the man’s mother was going in for double by-pass surgery, that was a great big negative. Reed had offered his prayers without question and told the distraught author he was welcome any time.

  Cecily hadn’t answered when he’d called to notify her. He figured she’d gone radio silent for a meeting, so he left a voicemail with the news, feeling awful for her. She’d put so much work into this. He hated to see it all go to waste. Not that everything she’d done was a waste. The platform she’d built could be used for future events and promotion for years to come.

  He hated to see his own investment go to waste, too. The outlay on advertising wouldn’t hurt him too bad, but he wasn’t operating with such a margin of profit that he could afford to have this happen often.

  Maybe it’s not too late to cancel the ad and get a refund, he mused, stepping back into Inglenook.

  “What the holy hell is wrong with you?”

  Reed actually stumbled back against the closed door in the face of the fury pumping off Norah as she rose from the couch. Her normally calm and even demeanor had been replaced by a rage so great, he half expected her to bulk up and start screaming “Hulk smash!” And he had no clue what she was so pissed about.

  “What?”

  “I trusted you. I encouraged her to trust you. How the hell could you do this to Cecily?”

  “Do what? Norah, what the hell are you talking about?”

  “You cheated on her, you slimy bastard. I’m ashamed to have to call you family. And you’d better believe that by the time I get through with you, the wrath of God is gonna look like a church picnic.”

  “I knew it.” From the entryway to the next section, Brenda stood, a look of disgust on her face.

  Reed shoved away from the door and met Norah toe-to-toe. “What the hell are y’all talking about? I didn’t cheat.”