Deliciously Damaged

by KB Winters

  “All right!” Jana and Teddy high fived each other like boys in a locker room.

  “Settle down, baby mamas, it was just a little harmless sex. Nothing to go nuts over.”

  “Ha!” Teddy tilted her head back and laughed. “Everyone who believes that, raise your hand.”

  I raised mine and she smacked it down with more force than a pregnant woman should be allowed to have.

  “That’s how it was with me and Max and now we’re here for our wedding.” Jana gazed down at her wedding bling with a loopy smile on her face.

  “Yep, me too. Tate and I were fuck buddies only and now look at us.” She wore the same goofy look Jana had, which I guessed was love. They both looked happy and that was what mattered.

  “Clearly you both were looking for that. I’m clearly not.”

  I’d spend the next few days enjoying Savior’s hard body and the orgasms he gave me but as soon as we got back to Vegas, I’d keep my distance. There was something in the water in Mayhem and in Vegas and I didn’t want any part of it.

  “Thanks for inviting me, I’ve never been to California.”

  “I’m glad you came,” Jana insisted with a genuine smile. “You are part of our group now. Of course you’re invited. I just hope you know you can call either of us, just to talk or hang out.”

  I nodded, hearing what they were both saying.

  “I haven’t had any real friends in a long time,” I told them but the truth was I didn’t know if I’d ever had any real friends. Krissy was the closest thing to a friend I’d ever had and she was a user. “It’ll take some getting used to, but I’ll try my best.”

  They both smiled but soon the men joined us and both Max and Tate whisked their women off, leaving me on my own. Again. The ocean called to me, as it always did. In New York I spent plenty of time just looking out at the Hudson River and if I could swing it, I’d get out to watch the dark blue waters of the Atlantic. The water here was lighter, cold, but not quite as icy.

  The air was salty with a hint of the fishiness that gave many of the people in town their livelihood. Seeing the water, so vast and never ending, made me think of impossible things, like who I would’ve been if I hadn’t lost everyone that mattered to me. It was such a foreign thought, I never got further than simple family dinners with Mom, Dad and Ammo.

  “Penny for your thoughts.” Savior’s deep voice startled me but I didn’t turn to look at him, I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to see what was on my mind.

  “My thoughts are too dark for pennies, got any drachmas?” I laughed but he didn’t, a sure sign he wasn’t buying my attempt at levity. Savior grabbed my hand, and we walked along the water, the music from the party growing more distant with every step.

  “No drachmas, but I’ve got a strong stomach.”

  I was sure he did, considering what he’d probably seen as a solider and then a Reckless Bastard. But I still didn’t want to share my dreams with anyone. “What’s your real name?”

  “Vick.”

  “Not quite as cool as Savior, but very hot.”

  I would’ve guessed something regular like Mike or Nick, but Vick was the name of a man. A big strong man with a manly ass beard.

  “I like it.”

  He smirked. “Thanks.”

  “So, how’d you get a name like Savior?”

  He snorted. “Some stupid shit before basic.”

  I smiled and looked up at him. “So tell me. Sound’s fun.”

  “Fun? I wouldn’t call anything I did in—or before—the service fun.” He stopped and looked out at the water. “Okay, so before I enlisted, I wanted to become a priest. I was—”

  “—a priest? Seriously? I didn’t realize you had that much Jesus in you.” I laughed a little. A priest. Vick looked nothing like a priest and acted like one even less.

  “If you’re gonna tease, then I’ll shut up.” He faked a pout.

  “No! I want to hear the story. Seriously.”

  “Okay then, don’t laugh. Before I’d ever thought about enlisting, I was a church going man. Priesthood was something I aspired to do. Then after 9/11, I enlisted. Thought I could serve my country. You know, be a good American and all. Well, I may have mentioned it in a conversation in boot camp, you know getting to know the other newbies, and every one of those motherfuckers started calling me Savior. As a joke.

  Then, when we made it to the sandbox, shit got real. Shit I don’t ever want to see or do again. I saved quite a few men out there, but not all. Unfortunately, we had to send a few soldiers home in body bags, but the name stuck.” He breathed in and let it out slowly. “So, there ya go.”

  We walked in silence for a while before he said anything else. “Do you miss New York?”

  “Some days I miss it so much I can hardly stand it but this is where my family is so it’s where I am. Even if it turns out to be a really bad idea.”

  “I won’t let it,” he said confidently, and I didn’t bother to correct him, because it would be pointless. “At least not before you’ve had a chance to make me your favorite dessert.”

  I laughed. “Yeah and what is my favorite?”

  He shrugged and swung our arms between us. “I don’t know, but I loved those strawberry orange cookies you sent in one of your care packages. They were fucking delicious.”

  I laughed, feeling heat blossom at the memory. “Ammo said you guys were like vultures with those cookies. Told me to only send chocolate chip or peanut butter so you didn’t lose your minds.

  He laughed at the memory too. “Yeah, I think I ate at least half of them.”

  Savior leaned close, brushing his lips against the shell of my ear as he spoke.

  “Speaking of, it’s time for me to get turned on watching you lick barbecue sauce from your fingers.”

  He pulled me back toward the music and the group of bikers celebrating their friends entering into wedded bliss.

  His words were so fucking dirty, so wicked that I felt like I was constantly turned on when he was around. Even when he was doing his best to piss me off.

  Chapter 10

  Savior

  I woke up and rolled over expecting to find a couple handfuls of soft, warm woman, instead I was met by a cool, empty bed.

  I called out “Mandy?” but I could tell the room was empty. It was too quiet, so I turned over on my back, smiling as I thought about how wild she’d been after dinner last night.

  I never knew women could be ravenous like that. I mean sure, they were eager and dirty, some were legit kinky, but most of the time they were just acting. Last night though, had been sweet, unadulterated Mandy.

  My cock was getting hard just thinking about the way she’d pushed me down on the bed and sank between my knees, making love to my dick with her mouth. She’d laid those smiling eyes on me, never looking away as she slowly ripped away every stitch of my control. And now she was gone, which I confirmed by walking through the spacious hotel room overlooking the beach. She’d left a note. Gone surfin’, it said, which was strange since I was pretty sure she didn’t know how to surf.

  After a quick shower, I got dressed and went to find the hot little pixie who’d rocked my world. I found her on the beach in the water with some blond model doing time as a surf instructor, though he was doing more smiling and flirting than instructing. I could see it from the shore. Hell, a blind man could see it. The closer I got, the more I wanted to bash the prick’s face in.

  But this was her vacation, too, so I sat back and watched. Until he reached out to correct her footing and let his hand linger longer than he needed to.

  “There you are.”

  They both jumped and turned to me.

  “Savior,” she said, a hint of surprise, and then heat as her gaze slid to my chest.

  “Kip, this is Savior. A family friend.”

  I quirked a brow at her and she gave me one right back.

  “Don’t let me interrupt your lesson.”

  I kept my voice even and my face blank. Kip backed
up a little.

  “Actually we’re done,” he stammered. “I was just, ah, giving Mandy some pointers.”

  He scraped one hand through his hair while the other began cutting through the water.

  “Just remember to tighten your core. I, uhm, see my next client. Enjoy your vacation,” he called out, already paddling fast with his back to us.

  “Was that necessary?”

  I shrugged. “Don’t know what you mean.”

  “No. I won’t do this Neanderthal thing, Savior. It’s not my jam. It’s my least favorite jam, in fact.”

  “What?”

  “I’ll make it simple for you. Knock it off.”

  She was cute when she was trying to be tough.

  “I can’t help it, not when you look like you do in that.”

  I pointed at the bathing suit, or the perfect likeness of one, anyway. Calling it ‘barely there’ would be generous. Not that I was complaining. The blue fabric looked like one long ribbon molded strategically to drive me out of my fucking mind.

  “You’ve seen me in much less than this.”

  “Yeah, but when I look at you in that, all I can see is myself unraveling it, kissing and nibbling every inch of skin as I uncover it.”

  I waded into the water, catching up with her so I could reach over and tug on the bow at her hip but she smacked my hand away.

  “You didn’t think I’d make it easy for drunken frat boys and frisky bikers, did you?”

  “A man can hope, can’t he?”

  “I never would have pegged you for an optimist.”

  She squeaked when I pulled her up against me, treading water and unable to resist the urge to run my hands up and down the smooth skin of her thighs.

  “I’m surprising even myself these days.”

  I pressed a kiss to her neck that made her shiver. “But nothing was as surprising as you. Last night.”

  “Must be the sea air,” she said in a muffled voice against my chest.

  “Must be,” I agreed in a grave voice. “And I thought it was me.”

  “You may have played a small part,” she said with a laugh and pushed away, paddling back towards the beach.

  “Who you callin’ small, woman?” I said, stroking after her.

  “Don’t worry, Savior, you were more than adequate.” She giggled as she widened the gap between us.

  But I was determined to paddle faster. “You can’t run far enough from that, sweetheart!”

  “I have excellent upper body strength. I’m a pastry chef!”

  My body flamed at the reminder of her strong arms and hands. “I’m bigger.”

  “Again with the size?” She couldn’t hold in her laughter after that, making it easy to catch up with her. “You’re a big guy, Savior.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, thanks. But I know you remember exactly how big I am.”

  Her cheeks flamed red, nostrils flared.

  “I do. Sometimes I swear I can still feel you inside me.”

  How was I not supposed to tip her board over and take her, hard and fast in the ocean, when she said shit like that to me?

  “What time is your spa stuff with the girls?”

  Her eyes widened and I knew any plans I’d been making with Mandy and my cock would have to wait.

  “Shit, I forgot. What time is it?” She didn’t wait for answer, just grabbed my wrist, gasping when my knuckles brushed against one hard titty. “I have to go.”

  “You sure?” I brushed a hand across the soft skin of her belly, reveling in the way she jumped at my touch. The way I affected her.

  “Unfortunately, I am.”

  “I hate that, but later you’re mine.” She nodded and brushed my lips against hers, soft and tender. Anything more than that and I’d say fuck both our schedules and carry her back up to the room. We’d reached the beach and she lifted the board out of the water like it was a feather.

  “There’s a bridesmaid robe for you on the bed.”

  She laughed. “I have no response to that. See you later.”

  “Later,” I said too quiet for her to hear, but it didn’t matter because my focus was on her ass and the sway of her hips as she walked away. A little extra swing just for me.

  ***

  “Man you have been moping all day! That cute little fairy got her hooks into you deep.”

  Lasso laughed and clapped my back too damn hard as he sat beside me at the table on the beach. Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, but I didn’t get it. People have been getting married since religion was invented and they didn’t need a practice day for it. As far as I was concerned, though, all the free food and booze was good enough reason to party.

  “I’m not moping, asshole. I’m pensive.”

  “Oh, that’s a ten-dollar word. Jag, get me a twenty!”

  “Yeah, real funny, Lasso.” I punched his shoulder, making him groan.

  “So, if you’re not thinking about that sexy little baker, what’s on your mind?”

  Shit, like I could tell him I couldn’t stop thinking about Mandy. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. It was just the sex that had me going a little crazy. “Just life, brother.”

  He barked out a laugh. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself, man. But I saw you two earlier in the water. You looked real cozy to me. Like those two over there,” he said, pointing to a young couple who were sucking each other’s faces right on the beach for everyone to watch. “There’s no harm in wanting a woman, especially a fine one like that.”

  “She’s Ammo’s sister.”

  Which was, honestly, only part of the problem. The bigger problem was, well. . .I didn’t do serious—or commitment. Women started looking for it right away and I wasn’t the guy. And being Ammo’s sister, Mandy deserved it all.

  “And you were his best friend. There’s no other man on the planet he’d trust with his baby sister. No matter what that man thinks of himself.”

  I had to laugh at his armchair psych words.

  “Yeah, thanks man. But we both know I don’t do all this,” I told him, pointing at the decorations that served as a dedication to love and commitment, lifelong commitment. There were hearts and flowers, with a bunch of baby-sized foods on the menu to celebrate the new life they would soon bring into the world. This was a reminder that I wasn’t cut out for this life.

  “All I know is that you say you don’t do it. But I also know that Max was too fucked up to even consider fucking the same chick twice less than two years ago and here we are, in San Diego, for his wedding. Hell, Golden Boy was locked up, wrongfully imprisoned for years, man. If that doesn’t fuck with your ability to trust . . .” he trailed off with a long low whistle. “Well, he’ll be marching down the aisle soon too.”

  All of that was true, damn him, but irrelevant. “They aren’t me.”

  I didn’t have shit to offer any woman, never mind one like Mandy. She’d already lost too much to end up with a guy born to a crack whore who had no problems abandoning her son for some asshole with a little cash in his pocket, and a drunk who’d never been curious about the kid he sired. One who lied and stole with ease. Sure, I’d done it just to survive, but in the end, none of that mattered.

  “Whatever you say.” He stood and smacked my back again, this time with a purposeful harshness I couldn’t ignore. “Then I guess you won’t mind if I ask her for a dance.”

  His gaze lifted toward the open doors of the hotel restaurant where Mandy stood, looking like a pixie goddess in her deep pink dress that draped over her curves with expert precision. It was silk or some other shiny fabric and it made my hands twitch to touch her.

  “I damn well do mind.”

  I put a hand to his chest to stop his path toward Mandy and ignored Lasso’s deep chuckle. “Find your own goddamn woman.”

  “I already have,” he said, his gaze drifting toward a leggy redhead holding a silver tray filled with champagne glasses. “See you in a bit.”

  “Don’t count on it,” I told him, my legs already carrying me to M
andy as she nervously smoothed her short hair.

  “Mandy, damn you look like a dirty dream I had recently.”

  Her soft laugh carried on the ocean breeze. “Yeah? Thanks. Who knew you looked so good without a stitch of denim or leather in sight?”

  Her gaze was hot and hungry as she took me in, the suit we’d all slipped into at Jana’s insistence.

  She’d laid down the law. “I don’t care that you’re bikers, I love my biker man. But you will damn well not look like bikers for my wedding.”

  All of us had obeyed, more terrified of the tiny blonde than any threats we’d ever faced fighting for Uncle Sam.

  “You should see me without any denim or leather on. At all.”

  “I have, and I have to say, I prefer you without any of it.” She licked her lips seductively, her eyes flicked up and down the length of my body as she took in every detail.

  “Just say the word, babe.”

  Her cheeks turned a delicious shade of pink as she bit down on her bottom lip.

  “I have so many words to say, Savior. But I think they’re waiting for us,” she said, gesturing to where Teddy stood in the center of a large group waving frantically at them.

  “Come on.”

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me along, stopping to kick off her heels, so sharp and pointy, I knew I’d ask her to put them back on for me later.

  It took a total of five fucking minutes to get through the actual rehearsal for tomorrow’s wedding, Teddy and Golden Boy walked down the makeshift sandy aisle together, and then Mandy and Cross, followed by several other Reckless Bastards that Max had insisted stand up with him on this important day, me included. They pretended to go through the vows, but Mandy and Cross did it in place of the happy couple, some shit about bad luck. I figured if we were here for the wedding, it was too late to worry about something jinxing the relationship.

  “And now, we eat!” Teddy clapped her hands to herd everyone toward the long table set up just for us, right on the beach.

  I tried to wait for Mandy, eager to get my hands on her and that silky dress under the table, but the distance between us seemed to grow. Literally, every fucking time I looked up, there were more Reckless Bastards, more beachcombers between us.