Deliciously Damaged

by KB Winters

  “Ahhh shit,” I groaned out, arching my back and laying my head back.

  “Say my name,” he directed.

  He lowered his lips back to me and then slid two fingers deep inside me.

  “Cooper!” I called out.

  “You like that?”

  I inhaled sharply and nodded frantically. “More, please keep going.”

  He continued, each flick of his tongue sending me higher and higher, closer to the breaking point. I couldn’t stop myself from moaning and panting loudly. My hands rested on his back, my nails digging into the bare skin of his shoulders as I got closer and closer to release. He responded by sucking just a little harder on my clit and I buckled as I crashed over the edge, releasing my nails and starting to shudder as I came hard.

  I was still shuddering with each wave of pleasure when he stood and pulled down his pants and boxer briefs, I heard him slide on protection and then without further hesitation, he entered me hard.

  “Fuck!” I screamed out. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him closer. He thrust in and out, harder and harder, as I gripped onto his hips tightly. He groaned, gritting his teeth together, his fingertips digging into my fleshy hips as he finished.

  I rested my head against his bare chest and neither of us said a word for a minute as we waited for our breathing to return to normal.

  Suddenly, I felt uneasy and not sure what to do or say, next. I wanted for him to make the next move, although, I was unsure what move I wanted him to make exactly—anything to break the awkward tension that had settled between us in the aftermath of what had just happened.

  After a few more minutes of silence, Cooper backed away and pulled his pants back up. He gave me a long look and I tried to cover my body as best as I could but it was kind of hopeless. No matter which way I sat or what I covered with my hands, I was exposed.

  As if sensing my discomfort, Cooper excused himself to the en suite bathroom. Once alone, I frantically dressed myself, shoving my soaking wet panties into my purse. I heard the water turn on in the attached bathroom and wondered if I should leave before he came back out. Wondering if maybe he was taking his time on purpose, in hopes that I wouldn’t be here when he got back.

  I gave myself one last pat down to make sure I was as put together as I could possibly get, all things considered, and then reached for the door handle. As soon as my fingers wrapped around it, the bathroom door opened and Cooper stepped out.

  “Leaving so soon?” he asked.

  I pressed my eyelids closed, wishing I had been just a little faster in my escape. This was so beyond awkward. I mean, the sex had been incredible. I could barely stand without my legs feeling like Jello, but that wasn’t the point.

  The point was…I had originally come over to his office to un-complicate things, to make sure that everyone knew nothing untoward was going on. And then….this happened. Ugh.

  What the hell is wrong with me? I wondered silently.

  My only defense seemed to be to put my guard back up and hide behind my normal mask, sarcasm, sass, and feistiness.

  “Is there normally a gift basket? Or some other type of parting gift for your special visitors?” I asked, turning back to him, doing my best to make my expression as blank as possible.

  He looked at me like I had just slapped him across the face. “Wow…so that’s how you want to play this?”

  “Play what?” I asked, not knowing if I wanted an answer.

  “Nothing, Allison. You just said—”

  “—I need to get back to work,” I said, my voice breaking slightly. I squared my shoulders and pursed my lips to try and make up for the falter.

  He shook his head. “All right.”

  For a moment, I wanted to stop myself, to tell myself that I was being a bitch and that I should give him a chance, but I couldn’t. All I could do was run.

  So I pushed out of the office, sped past his uppity secretary and hurried to the elevators, not daring to look back to see if he was watching me leave.

  Chapter Eight

  In the course of a week, I had turned into the very person I had sworn I would never be again.

  “What is the matter with me, Sam?” I rolled over in my bed and questioned the squished feline face that was staring at me from the pile of pillows on the floor. After fleeing Cooper’s office, I had taken a cab back to the pastry shop to get in my car and go home. I spent the rest of the day nursing a bottle of wine and ended the night with a shot of cold medicine. I woke up tangled in the sheets, makeup smeared all over my pillows, and I got pissed all over again and threw them all over the floor and went back to sleep. When I woke up again, Sam had nested down and was watching me intently. At my question, he offered a slow blink and then flopped back, signaling he would like his belly rubbed.

  I rolled my eyes but smiled as I scooted over to the edge of the bed and extended a hand to pet him. “Thanks for taking my problems so seriously. You’re a real lifesaver.”

  My internal disappointment wasn’t with the act itself. Even in the midst of my self-loathing, I had to admit it was the hottest sex of my life. Not that I had been with a million guys, but nothing had ever come close to the heat and power of the interlude with Cooper.

  Cooper.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. His dark eyes were waiting for me behind my closed lids. There was no escaping him. He was in my thoughts, my deepest fantasies, and now in my most passionate memories.

  His hands on my bare skin, tracing the outlines of my tattoos. Kissing my face, not missing one single freckle. His teeth nipping at my lower lip. The way he filled me and the power behind each thrust.

  I groaned and dug my fingers into the sheets as my body heated up all over again.

  “Fuck!”

  I shoved up out of bed and stalked off to my bathroom to take a—very cold—shower, desperate to scrub away the tingles all over my skin.

  Two hours later, I was back in my cubicle, doing my best to keep Cooper as far from my mind as possible. This proved to be quite the challenge since my entire job currently revolved around him. Luckily, Bryce was in meetings all morning and no one else in the office would dare talk to me. About me seemed fine—but not directly to me.

  I spent most of the morning on the internet, poking around and not really doing anything productive. My inbox was empty and around lunch time, I started to wonder what the point was. I was literally being paid to sit and play Sudoku on my phone. I know a lot of people who would love that gig. However, I found it really boring. When I worked at the coffee shop, I was always busy. There was always cleaning to do, restocking to take care of, product displays to fix. Never an idle moment. The days flew by and I went home tired from an honest day’s work.

  This was just pathetic.

  I checked my email again.

  Nothing.

  I debated going to refill my coffee but I didn’t want to risk running into the reception brat pack that usually congregated in the break room this time of day.

  All I knew was that if I didn’t get something to occupy my brain soon, Cooper was going to take over again and I really couldn’t let that happen.

  For the tenth time in the last twenty minutes, I hit refresh and frowned when no new messages pulled up. A flutter of disappointment flashed through me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was wishing for him to send me something. Anything. Anything to prove that he actually cared about me, in some small way, and that I wasn’t just another conquest on his list. For all I knew, he could have a personal goal about banging every new associate under thirty-five, or something like that.

  Even at the thought, I rolled my eyes. I knew better than that. I didn’t know what was happening between us, but somehow I knew it was more than that.

  Wasn’t it?

  I hit refresh again.

  “Argh!” I pushed back from my desk, flinging my arms up in frustration.

  Logically, I knew this unresolved feeling hanging over my head was my entire fault. I was the o
ne who ran for cover at the first chance. I had spent the better part of a day trying to figure that whole thing out. I had been hit with a huge wave of anxiety over my appearance, my unapologetic need for this man I hardly even knew, the stress of him being tangled up with my company and causing unrest in my job security—and the job security of a friend. All the frazzled, half-baked thoughts rattled around my brain as I sat, like a complete loony, hitting refresh, wishing and hoping…for what? Was I waiting for a declaration of love and commitment? I decided that wasn’t the case, when the very idea sent a blast of nausea to my stomach. Did I just want him to be honest with me, for once, so I could stop feeling like such an idiot around him, like he always had the upper hand? Possibly. Or at least, that seemed more likely than the first idea.

  I leaned back in my chair and lay my head back, shutting my eyes against the harsh light of the fluorescent lights above me.

  A new idea popped in my head and I straightened up in my chair and scooted back to my computer. I clicked New, and started to furiously type. I kept it professional—well okay, ninety-nine percent professional—and wrote a convincing argument against BHA, inserting a long list of links to research at the bottom of the page.

  Even if Cooper was done with me and never wanted to see me again, I still wanted to use my last little ounce of influence to try and make a difference. On the plus side, it also kept my brain occupied and made me look intensely busy to any lurking managers or co-workers.

  Once the email was finished, I re-read it to myself, whispering the words under my breath as I went along. I made a few changes and then hit Send. I brushed my hands against each other and leaned back in my chair.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Shit!” I exclaimed, almost falling out of my chair at the interruption of Bryce’s voice. “How long have you just been lurking there?”

  “Long enough to watch you type the better part of that novel you just sent off. What’s going on? Are you getting in more trouble? Because let me tell you, doll, I can’t handle anymore drama this week. I got my ass handed to me this morning. Good thing I promised Rita I’d watch over you. That seemed to calm her down for the most part.”

  “I’m sorry, Bryce. I promise no more drama. It was just some research that Coo—I mean, that Mr. Brighton asked me to do,” I answered, fibbing ever so slightly.

  Bryce scanned me for a moment, acting like some kind of human lie detector.

  “What?” I asked, giving him my best doe-eyed expression.

  “You’re up to something. But you know what, the less I know, the better. Keeps me out of trouble that way. I can deny, deny, deny.”

  I laughed and he smiled back at me. Finally, things seemed to be back to normal between us.

  “Listen, I do appreciate all the help you’ve given me. I hope I haven’t caused any long-term problems for you here.”

  He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Nothing irreversible.”

  “All right.”

  “So I actually came by to drop off these training packets.” He extended his hand and held out a thick packet of paperwork for me. “I figure it’s time we get you back on track for your actual job. I checked in with the ads department this morning and it sounds like Mr. Brighton gave his approval to all the new ads you helped with and he won’t need anything until next quarter. So you’re off the hook.”

  “That’s great!” I smiled, but inside I felt a stab of disappointment. I guess that was the confirmation I had been looking for all morning. But it was less satisfying than I’d imagined. It all seemed so anti-climactic. That was it? It was just over now?

  The sadness morphed into a flicker of anger as I wondered if yesterday in his office had been the goal all along and it hadn’t been about ads in the first place. I mean, really, how stupid was I to think that he would just swoop in and handpick me to take on such an important task, with no experience, training, or track record?

  Well, consider me played.

  “Are you okay, Allie?” Bryce asked as he studied the shift of emotions play out on my face.

  I did my best to snap out of it. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m glad I finally get to do my real job! I was about to die of boredom over here in the cubicle wasteland without any real direction, now that Mr. Brighton isn’t spoon feeding me instructions. Thanks.”

  He still seemed skeptical but he left me alone. “No problem. I have another meeting I have to get to,” he checked his watch, “now. But catch up with me later if you have questions.”

  I was filled with questions. Sadly, none of them were things I could expect any help on.

  “Sure thing,” I answered. He scampered down the hall and I turned back to my computer. I opened the pack and started to scan the instructions, following the steps on my computer, but my eyes glazed over and made it hard to read, much less understand, the information in front of me.

  When five o’clock hit, I tossed it all aside and knew I would have to start from the beginning the next morning. I made my way out of the building, doing my best to avoid the pockets of people busy making happy hour plans. When I first took this job, I knew I was way out of my league, I knew it would be a challenge to ever fit in with these people. However, as I wove around the clusters of co-workers I caught hints of their whispers and the daggers in some of their eyes as they watched me pass by. I put my head down and shut it out, waiting till I got into the safety of my car to release the frustrated tears that had been building up since leaving Cooper’s office the day before.

  Chapter Nine

  Two more agonizing days went by without a word from Cooper. No phone calls, text messages, or—even more frustrating—replies to my email about the evils of BHA. I had figured he would at least have something to say about that. But I guess not. Luckily, it was finally Friday and in less than eight hours I would be free to go out and get a little crazy with my friends. Somewhere out there was a pitcher of beer with my name on it.

  I sank into my chair at my desk, hating the way my ass had already left permanent indents in the faux leather fabric. As if I needed one more thing to worry about.

  “She’s not really his type.”

  The words of the jealous secretary replayed in my head as I looked down at my lap, contemplating the size of each thigh and the width of my hips as I sat in my chair.

  I shook the thoughts out of my head—a session of weight obsession was the last thing my Friday needed. All I wanted to do today was bury myself in the training Bryce had given me the other day and focus on getting immersed in my work where I could be safe behind my computer. Numbers, code, and certainty. That’s just what I needed.

  “If he doesn’t like me like this, he doesn’t deserve me anyway. Fuck that!”

  My declaration came out a little louder than I had intended and sent a couple passersby scurrying away in giggles.

  I’d officially been left alone in this cubicle too long.

  I lay my head down on my desk, cradled by my forearms. A beep rang from my computer and I think I gave myself whiplash as I flicked up and frantically started clicking away to get into my inbox.

  Terror hit me before the hollow disappointment did and I groaned slightly at the message staring back at me.

  Rita Blair: Performance Review

  Allison,

  Please join me in my office at two o’clock. There are some matters I would like to discuss with you in regards to your first performance review.

  Rita Blair

  “Balls,” I whispered. I glanced around my cubicle, wondering if I should start packing up my belongings now, or wait for the official notice to do that.

  I had been working at the agency for less than a month, so the premise that the meeting was an actual performance review was hard to believe. To me, it sounded more like code for getting fired. I mentally started calculating all my bills that would go unpaid, including the stack that was past due already. I felt a rush of tears but held them back and did my best to shove aside the money stress.

 
At two o’clock I trudged to Rita’s office, mentally preparing my defense, which was hard since I wasn’t certain I knew what she was going to say. All I knew for sure was that it was going to involve Cooper.

  I knocked and Rita waved me through the glass door from behind her desk.

  “Please sit,” she said, gesturing to the chair across from her.

  I obeyed silently, knowing that if I were to start talking too soon it would disintegrate into a ramble and my poor mind hadn’t been able to shut off since being with Cooper and goodness knows I couldn’t afford for all that to come out right now.

  Literally.

  Rita clasped her hands together on top of the desk in front of her before beginning. “Allison, I know you’re an intelligent girl. It’s one of the main reasons I let Bryce talk me into hiring you in the first place. So, I’m going to cut right to the chase here.”

  My nails secretly dug into the corners of the armrests on my chair as I waited for her to pass her sentence.

  “There have been several reports of misconduct on your part. Specifically involving our client, Cooper Brighton.”

  I opened my mouth to launch into my own defense, but she held up a hand and I instantly shut up.

  “I understand that you and Mr. Brighton were working together at his request, on very important company business. And from what I can tell, you did a fine job. He approved the ads and my team is now free to move on to other pressing matters. However, if misconduct was committed, it doesn’t matter how good of a job you did, there will be consequences.”

  “I have something I would like you to read,” she continued, passing a page across the table.

  I leaned forward and glanced over the paper. It was a thick paragraph of legal mumbo-jumbo. Some of the passages were highlighted in yellow and I read along as fast as I could.

  “Our company has a very strict non-fraternization policy. A policy, which you can see, you signed your name to when you were first hired. So, help me understand, where is the confusion? If you had questions about what you were agreeing to, you should have asked before you signed.” With her diatribe completed, she leaned back in her chair and pursed her lips at me, waiting for me to try and wriggle my way out of the corner she just put me in.