Memory's Edge: Part One

by Gladden, DelSheree

  “Uh, thanks, Melinda,” John said. She must have ended the call, because it rang again a few seconds later. He was too shocked to answer it. The phone rang again, bringing Gretchen into the room with a puzzled expression.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “The Today show wants us to come on their show,” he said.

  Gretchen looked at the ringing phone in his hand and grabbed it. The ringing stopped and Gretchen started talking. Watching her grow excited as whoever she was talking to laid out their plans was a surreal experience. John read the notes Gretchen wrote down about the flight on Thursday, the next day, and what hotel they would put them in, but all he could think about was how many people would be watching the Today show on Friday morning.

  Doing the interview with the Albuquerque news channel, which reached less than a million people and had already failed once to produce anyone who knew John, was all fine and good. It was safe enough. The Today show reached the entire county, hundreds of millions of people. If the dark haired woman from his memories had any interest in finding him still, it would give her the perfect opportunity.

  Setting the phone down on the table, Gretchen bounced up and down with excitement. “The Today show, John! Can you believe it?” she said.

  “No, I can’t,” he said slowly.

  It was usually pretty hard to dampen Gretchen’s excitement, but John’s complete lack of enthusiasm caught her attention.

  “John, what’s wrong?” she asked.

  “I don’t think we should do the interview.”

  Gretchen frowned and glanced at her scribbled notes. “Why not?”

  “I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said. “We still have so much to do before the wedding. Having Melinda come here wasn't too big of a deal, but going to New York? I don’t know, Gretchen.”

  “But, John, this is probably the only chance like this we’ll ever have. Millions of people will hear your story,” she said.

  “Yeah, I know, Gretchen. That’s exactly the reason I don’t think we should do it. What if someone does recognize me?” he asked.

  Gretchen shook her head at him. Hands on her hips, she stared John down. “That would be wonderful, John. You would finally know who you are.”

  “I already know who I am, Gretchen,” he said.

  “But what if you could find your family, your parents, maybe, or your siblings? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have some of your family at the wedding?” She was still determined to reconnect him with his past. She did it because she loved him, but it was a misguided desire.

  “Okay, yes, finding my parents would be great, but what if someone else found me?” he asked. He didn’t want to say it. He wanted her to figure it out without him having to bring up the memories.

  Thankfully, realization dawned on her. “You mean a woman?”

  John nodded.

  “But, John, it’s been a year.”

  Walking over to him, she put her arms around his waist and hugged him. “John, I want to believe there were people in your life before I found you who are looking for you. But it has been a year. Wouldn’t someone have found you by now if they were going to? We tried the interview last year and the website and the newspapers, and we got nothing.

  “As much as I hate to admit it, maybe you didn’t have any family still living. Maybe your friends tried to find you but couldn’t. And if there was a woman in your life and she didn’t find you, she probably either moved on or isn’t worth finding anyway,” Gretchen said. “And besides, even if some woman from your past showed up, I know you wouldn’t leave me for someone you don’t even know anymore. I trust you, John.”

  But what if it wasn't just some woman? John had seen the reception hall, the bouquet in her hands. If he was married to another woman, how could he not try to find out what they once had together? Why would his wife not have found him, though? As John poured over the memories he had recovered, he recognized that he was quite a bit younger in them. Maybe the woman was already gone. The possibility remained, but making Gretchen understand his reasoning would require him telling her about the memories. The risk of losing Gretchen seemed so much bigger than the risk of the memory woman finding him.

  “I trust you, John,” Gretchen repeated as she laid her head on his chest.

  She wasn't going to give in. If John went missing tomorrow, he knew Gretchen would never give up looking for him. He could see why she would say that John not being found meant there was no one looking, because he could picture her scouring the country to find him. John could also understand, however, that he was one person in hundreds of millions in the country. What if you could look for a year and never find anything?

  Locked in indecision, John held onto Gretchen. The problem with that theory was the same one John had been stumped by from the very beginning. He couldn’t imagine going somewhere so out of the way that news coverage wouldn’t reach Gretchen to tell her where he was without first telling her where he was going. Every memory John recovered of the woman told him they loved each other deeply, but that must have been past because he couldn’t come up with a scenario where he would end up so far away from her that Gretchen’s efforts to find his family wouldn’t have reached her without her already knowing where he was planning to be.

  She would have found John if the memory woman still loved him. It always came back to that.

  “Okay, I’ll do the interview,” he said.

  He could only hope he was making the right choice.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Rushing Back

  Walking into the lobby of the hotel, Gretchen could barely contain her excitement. The grand foyer was incredible. John thought he should have been impressed by it as well, but something seemed vaguely familiar about it. He didn’t have time to contemplate it, though, because Gretchen pulled him up to the concierge desk with an excited bounce. The woman standing behind the desk greeted them warmly then asked if they had reservations.

  “John Palmer and Gretchen Gesner,” Gretchen said.

  The woman typed it in and then looked up with an extra pleasant smile. “Guest of the Today show? How exciting,” she said. “Do you mind if I ask what you’re going on the show for?”

  “No, of course not,” Gretchen said. She spent the next few minutes telling the woman their story as they waited for their keys and the packet of information the Today show had sent over for them. They left the woman behind with a dreamy look on her face.

  Carrying their bags to the elevator, John watched Gretchen excitedly pore over the papers and wished he could cast off the nagging sense that he knew this place. Ever since stepping onto the first plane, John kept getting the feeling they should turn around and go home. Feeling as though he had been in this hotel before, or at least that he was familiar with this type of hotel, was only compounding his unease.

  “There are reservations for us at the restaurant downstairs at eight o’clock,” Gretchen said. She glanced at her watch to check the time and nodded. They had plenty of time. She went back to her reading and groaned.

  “What?” John asked.

  “We have to be at the studio by four o’clock in the morning,” she whined.

  “See, I told you we should have stayed home.” John smiled as he said it, but he hoped for a miracle. No such luck.

  “For this, I can get up early,” Gretchen said. “Aren’t you excited?”

  The complete opposite, actually, but he didn’t say that. “Uh, sure. Just nervous, I guess.”

  The elevator opened at their floor and he followed Gretchen to their room. Pushing open the door, Gretchen bounded in and flopped onto the plush, king-sized bed. “I’ve always wanted to stay in a hotel like this,” she said.

  Lying on the bed with her golden hair fanned out around her, she smiled and stole away all John’s apprehension. Nothing could take him away from her. Crawling onto the bed, he hovered over her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Even if by some bizarre chance the memory woman found him bec
ause of this interview, he couldn’t go back to her. Married or not, Gretchen was his life now. Nothing could change that.

  Lowering himself to press against Gretchen, he kissed her passionately, almost forgetting the boundaries he had put on himself. For a brief second, nothing else mattered except that she was in his arms. John kissed her again. Her hands wound through his hair, pulling him closer.

  A sharp rap on the door halted everything. Groaning, John rolled off Gretchen and went to the door to pull it open. A whole crew of people stood waiting.

  “Uh, can I help you?” John asked.

  “Lana Goodman, from the Today show. We need to get a few pictures for the promos,” she said. John just stared at her. “You are John, right? The amnesia guy?”

  “Yeah, sorry, come in. I just wasn’t expecting anyone,” he said.

  “Well normally we do this a lot earlier, but apparently this whole thing was only set up yesterday, so here we are,” she said. “Can we come in?”

  John moved aside to let her through, and ten people piled into the room after her. It was a good thing they had such a big room. One of the makeup artists grabbed Gretchen and plopped her into a chair so she could begin her work. John was about to ask Lana a question when another makeup artist latched onto him and started smearing something all over his face. It felt greasy and weird, but the guy was working too quickly for John to have any time for questions or complaints.

  While he was working, another woman held up pieces of clothing next to John and Gretchen. Based on reasons John didn’t understand, she eventually chose one shirt for each of them and as soon as the makeup artists were done they sent John and Gretchen into the bathroom to change with a warning not to mess up their makeup.

  “How on earth am I supposed to get this on without messing up my makeup,” Gretchen asked. She held up a silky blouse with a questioning eye. “They should have picked a button-up shirt if they wanted me to keep from touching my face.”

  Turning away from John, Gretchen took off her t-shirt and tossed it aside. Putting on the new shirt was forgotten as John stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her bare waist. Leaning down, John kissed her shoulder, making her shiver. She sighed as she looked at the bathroom door.

  “I know,” he said. “They’re waiting for us.”

  John forced himself to back off, but he watched as Gretchen carefully brought the blouse over her head and let it drop down, covering her sweet-tasting skin once again. Now it was his turn to sigh. Why did the crew have to show up right then? Rushing through the motions, John stripped off his own t-shirt and buttoned up the dress shirt he’d been given. Gretchen watched him hungrily, making John want to lock the door and let the crew outside wonder what had happened to them.

  Unfortunately, Gretchen opened the door, and the crowd of people grabbed them again. “Okay,” Lana said, “we’re going to get some photos of you so we can run some promos before your interview to get people excited about your story, which is amazing by the way. You’re going to have every single woman in America looking for her own battered soul to save by tomorrow.”

  “I know I will be,” mumbled Lana’s assistant.

  “One of the hosts heard a couple of segment producers talking about you guys and she loved the story so much she said she wanted you guys on the show,” Lana said. “And what Anne wants, Anne gets.” Lana nodded to somebody and then looked back at us. “Okay, Andrew here is going to do the photos, and it looks like he’s ready, so just do what he says.”

  An hour later, the crew had apparently gotten enough photos of them to work with and began packing up their supplies. John and Gretchen changed back into their regular clothes and went out get final instructions from Lana.

  “You need to be at the studio by four a.m. tomorrow,” Lana reminded us. “There will be a car waiting for you downstairs at three-thirty. Gretchen, don’t worry about doing your hair or makeup. We’ll do it for you. And wear whatever you want because we’ll have you change when you get there. One of the producers will be there to explain how the interview will work and when you’ll go on. Any questions?”

  Gretchen and John just looked at each other.

  “No? Good.” Lana motioned for her crew to head out. “Get to bed early tonight. You don’t want to have bags under your eyes in front of a couple hundred million people.”

  That was when the fear came rushing back full force.

  Chapter Fifty

  Him

  “Yeah, we got in to New York last night with no problems. The kids slept through most of the flight. Thanks for the suggestion to take the red-eye, by the way.”

  “You bet, Corey. I’ve flown with little kids before. It’s a nightmare if they’re not asleep.”

  Pressing the phone between her ear and shoulder, Corey poured sugar into her cup of tea. Hazelnut and chai floated up to her, lifting her tired spirit. She was exhausted, but she was determined to make the trip amazing enough to take hers and the kids’ minds off everything.

  “Are you okay?” Sarah asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “It’s just been a long year, you know?”

  Sarah sighed. “I know, honey, but you’re doing the right thing. The kids didn’t need to be hanging around the house right now. A couple weeks on vacation will be good for them. They need something to distract them.”

  “I know. They’re excited to go to the museum and see the Lion King on Broadway later today. I think I’m the one having the hardest time with this. Part of me wants to be home. I feel like I’m hiding here in New York,” Corey said.

  Looking out of the kitchen, she saw Michael and Sasha playing on the floor in the sitting room. Sasha played with her favorite baby doll, caring for it like only a two-year-old little girl could. She smiled and rocked the baby back and forth as she sang it the lullaby Corey sang to her every night. Michael smashed his toy cars together a few feet away, completely oblivious to his singing sister. Four year olds were amazingly good at that.

  Sometimes they still cried, but for the most part they were adjusting much better than Corey. They were too little to really understand. Maybe that was better. It was better they didn’t hear the whispers and gossip she couldn’t avoid. Corey didn’t want them to forget, though. That seemed like a betrayal.

  “Part of me thinks I should have stayed.”

  “You need to move on. You know that.”

  “But, I don’t know if I can. I keep hoping,” she said as a tear fell down her cheek.

  “This is exactly why you need to be away from home for the next couple weeks,” Sarah said. “Just have some fun with the kids. Show them that you’re doing okay.”

  She was right. Corey knew she was, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. “Thanks for making me do this, Sarah.”

  “That’s what I’m here for, honey. Call me as often as you need to,” she said. “I wish I could have come with you for support, but we were already committed to taking Alan to visit colleges over spring break.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Just because I can’t move on doesn’t mean everyone else has to put their lives on hold,” she said. Sarah had already done so much for her over the last year. She felt so indebted to her she knew there was no way to ever repay all her help and support. The least Corey could do was take her kids on vacation without dragging her friend along to coddle her.

  “You can do this, Corey,” Sarah said.

  Wiping away her tears, Corey stood up taller, trying to convince herself she was strong enough. “I can do this,” she said. “It’s time to move on.”

  “Good for you, honey. Just keep thinking that,” Sarah said. “Oh, and if you go to Ellis Island, Gracie wants you to bring her back a replica of the Statue of Liberty.”

  Laughing at her precocious little friend, Corey was glad she had her around to keep her laughing. “And what about Alan,” she asked, “does he have any souvenir requests?”

  Sarah snorted. “Alan said he’s too old for souvenirs, but if you happe
ned to go to the Hard Rock Café, he wouldn’t object to you bringing him back a pair of drumsticks.”

  “I’ll remember that.” Alan was trying so hard to be all grown up, but they all knew he was going to miss his parents and little sister when he left for college.

  “Michael,” Sasha yelled, “no! Stop! Bad!”

  Michael laughed at his sister and rammed his car into her doll again.

  “Michael,” Corey warned, “leave your sister alone.”

  Sticking his tongue out at Sasha, he moved a few feet away and continued to bug her by almost hitting her doll with his car. Corey sighed at his obnoxious behavior, but even that was a good thing after everything they had been through. It showed they were adjusting to the way things were.

  “Well, it sounds like you need to go wrangle some kids,” Sarah said. “I’ll let you go, but call whenever you need to.”

  “I will, Sarah. And thanks for everything,” Corey said. She was about to end the call when she remembered she needed to tell her where the dog’s treats were. “Oh, Sarah, when Gracie goes over to pick up the dog—”

  That was as far as she got before the kids starting yelling.

  “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! It’s Daddy! He’s on TV!”

  Her heart stopped and she couldn’t breathe.

  “Corey? What’s going on?” Sarah asked.

  She couldn’t answer. Walking into the room, Corey felt as if she were moving through honey. It couldn’t be true. The kids had made the mistake before, but they kept yelling it over and over again. “It’s Daddy! It’s Daddy!”

  Daring herself to hope, Corey looked at the TV. There was his picture. The host was babbling about something, but all she could do was stare at the screen.

  “Sarah,” Corey whispered, “it’s Alex. He’s here in New York.”

  Sarah didn’t say anything for a moment. “Corey, are you sure?”