Winter Promise

by Martha Rogers

  “You seem sure of what’s in it. Maybe you should see what it says instead of imagining the words.” He stood. “I just wanted to check on you, but I see you have a great deal of thinking to do, so I’ll leave you alone. Your aunt has a blackberry cobbler waiting if you decide you want some.”

  After he’d left, Elliot continued to sit, but his mind began to clear.

  He eyed the letter lying on his desk in a crumpled heap. He reached for it, and its touch stung his fingers with a heat that went straight to his heart and laced his soul with fear. He raised his arm to toss it into the waste can near the desk but stopped.

  If he didn’t read it now, he’d never know what they had to say. He’d heard it all before and during the funeral, but Sophia had said this was different. Better to go ahead and find out. He had to end the agony, but would this help? He smoothed out the envelope then slid his fingers under the lap and unsealed it. Unfolding it with trembling hands, he swallowed hard as the words swam before his eyes.

  After he focused on them, he began to read.

  Dear Elliot,

  Sophia told us she’d found you there in Porterfield. We’ve always wondered where you had gone. We’ve missed you. Please know that we’ve prayed for you to find peace with God as we have. Do not blame yourself for Angela’s death. As difficult as it is to accept, this was God’s will for her life. Yes, He took her too soon for our liking, but in it all He had a purpose and a plan.

  We pray that you have found His purpose for you in your life there in Porterfield. Listen to His voice, and follow His will for you. We pray that you will reclaim the joy you once had in the Lord and will find the happiness you deserve. Please don’t feel guilty if you find another young woman to love. Our hope is that you do, because Angela would want you to be happy and go on with your life.

  With our best regards,

  Caleb and Alice Dupree

  The paper shook in Elliot’s hand, and the writing on the paper blurred even further. How could they ask him to go on with his life? His whole life had been Angela. Then he reread the last line. Could it be possible to find happiness and go ahead into the future without her? He laid aside the letter. This was one thing that would take much thought and consideration in the days ahead.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  ABIGAIL SLIPPED INTO the pew beside Daniel and Kate just as the organist began to play the prelude for Sophia and Philip’s wedding ceremony. When Daniel knit his brows and frowned, she shrugged. “Sorry I’m late, but I had some last-minute things to take care of.”

  Ever since her return on Tuesday, Daniel had been so protective. Abigail wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but his concern did touch her. Now, after four days of his hovering, she was ready for him to back away and give her room to breathe.

  She had opened the library for the first time this morning so books could be returned and she could straighten out records for the days she’d been out, and he’d complained about it being too early. Maybe in his eyes, but the sooner she put that nightmare of an ordeal behind her, the sooner she could get on with her life.

  From the corner of her eye Abigail spotted Penelope walking down the aisle. The wedding had started. Then everyone stood and watched as Sophia made her way down the aisle on the arm of Philip’s brother, Allen. She looked radiant.

  Since they were facing the aisle, she used that brief moment to scan the room for Elliot. Just before the congregation turned to be seated, she spotted him near the back. Several times this morning she had glanced over at the infirmary, but it remained empty. With no patients on the premises, Doc and Elliot had no cause to be there.

  She tried to listen to the ceremony and the vows, but her mind wouldn’t stay put. The past four days had been filled with visitors and well-wishers who were glad she was home. The only one who mattered, Elliot, hadn’t visited or said a word to her. She supposed he avoided her because of Cory or because of his own hurts. How could she let him know that Cory meant nothing to her? And how could she ever heal him from the pain of his past?

  Then Seth’s words broke through her meandering thoughts. She leaned slightly forward to hear them. He quoted from Psalm 139 then explained. “Before you were even born, Sophia and Philip, God had planned this day for you. God knows the days each of you has remaining on this earth. No one can take that time away from you. The love you proclaim here today will last for a lifetime if the foundation of your marriage is based on our Lord Jesus Christ and if you follow Him all the days of your life.”

  Abigail’s heart swelled with her love of God. He had been with her every moment she had been held captive by McGraw. As the psalm said, she’d never be able to get away from that loving Spirit. When she had called on Him, He had answered. Tears filled her eyes as Sophia and Philip repeated the vows that would bind them together in God’s love for a lifetime.

  From the corner of her eye she noticed Daniel reach over and squeeze Kate’s hand. No words needed to be spoken as love and understanding flowed between them. Daniel had a special kind of love for Kate, and Abigail truly wished for a love like that. Would she ever find it?

  The ceremony ended, and everyone applauded when Philip kissed his bride. Abigail smiled and clapped as hard as any of the others. This was truly a day of celebration.

  A short time later the guests greeted the couple then headed for the big party at the town hall. All the gifts that were supposed to have been delivered last Saturday now waited for the happy couple there.

  Abigail climbed up into the surrey behind Daniel and Kate. She once again scanned the crowd searching for Elliot. She finally spotted him heading back to his own home. Her spirits fell at the realization that he didn’t plan to attend the party at all.

  Kate must have seen him too. She turned and reached out to Abigail. “He has a lot on his mind, dear. Let him be for today. Reverend Winston is planning to talk with him again. Keep praying, and God will hear.”

  “I know, but it’s so hard to see him walk away like that. What have I done that has made him not even want to speak to me?” Abigail faced back front, and Daniel pulled out onto the road leading into town.

  “You haven’t done anything. Now cheer up and plan to have some fun this evening. Penelope says they have enough food to feed everyone in town, and I think just about everyone in town will be there.”

  Abigail smiled and nodded her head. She would have a good time. This was a joyous occasion for the new Mr. and Mrs. Dawes, and she wasn’t about to ruin it with her gloomy thoughts.

  When they reached the town hall, buggies, wagons, and surreys filled the streets. The weather had cooperated and the sun shone down on them as if God too celebrated the marriage. People milled about the room inside.

  “Abigail, it’s so good to see you out and about after what you went through. Frank told me some about how they tracked you and then the rescue.” Suzanne Cahoon pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I don’t know what I would have done in your place.”

  “You’d have stayed strong just like I did.” Never had she been so glad to see two men as she had been to see Cory coming out of that water with his gun blazing and Frank swooping down to tie up her captors. “I was scared, but I knew Cory and the sheriff would find me.”

  “Well, I, for one, am glad they did. This town wouldn’t be the same without you.” She waved at someone. “Frank wants me. Maybe we can visit some more later.”

  Abigail watched Suzanne join her husband. A deep sigh welled up inside and then escaped in a puff of air. Every female here had a husband or suitor on her arm. Even Aunt Mae had Mr. Fuller, who still sported a bandage on his head from his injury during the holdup. Her kidnapping had made her realize just how alone and unprotected she was. But instead of making her fear men, her experience had made her long for someone to love her and protect her. So why did she sense that Cory was not the one for her? Had she turned him down too soon?

  She wished Elliot had come, but if he had, he wouldn’t pay her any attention. Maybe if she h
ad another accident, he’d have to treat her and talk to her then. No, that wouldn’t do any good. He’d just have his uncle take care of her. Short of whacking him on the head, she could think of no way to draw his attention.

  Elliot sat at his desk staring at the Duprees’ letter. He should never have gone to the wedding. It had brought back all the memories of the plans he and Angela had made for their own wedding. Only a few weeks and their lives would have been joined just as Sophia’s and Philip’s had.

  Abigail had been there. He had stared at her profile when everyone stood for the bride’s entrance. When her head turned slightly toward him, he’d dropped his gaze to keep from looking into her eyes. Guilt washed through him like waves upon a shore. He hadn’t even been to see her to let her know how relieved he was that she was all right. If he had, he might not have been able to hide his feelings for her. Besides, he would have ended up embarrassing them both if Cory was with her. Better that she be free to enjoy the attentions of Cory, who had earned her love in a way he never could.

  Further guilt washed over him. Over the past few days Angela had begun to slip further back into his memory. How could he have let his feelings for Abigail replace his memories of Angela?

  Doc would probably have an answer, and it would be all about how God ordained the things that happened in our lives. Reverend Winston had even said as much in his message to the bride and groom. But Elliot couldn’t understand why God would bring two people together when He knew full well the love would never be completed. That didn’t make sense to him and only proved to him that God didn’t really care how hurt people might be by what happened.

  He looked again at the letter before him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized Mr. and Mrs. Dupree had truly forgiven him for the mistake. To them it was a tragic accident. But how was it that they could forgive him when he hadn’t been able to forgive himself? It didn’t make any sense. The walls of his room closed in on him, and he could barely breathe. He needed fresh air and space.

  A few minutes later he roamed up the street with no destination in mind, but his feet took him to town. He stopped across from town hall and surveyed the area. A lot of people had come to wish Sophia and Philip well. He should do the same, but he didn’t have the heart for it.

  A woman exited the building. She glanced across the street, and when her gaze landed on him, she strode across in his direction.

  Kate Muldoon had purpose written all over her face. Elliot had no place to hide, and from the look of her, he was about to get an earful about not being at the party.

  “Elliot, I didn’t think you’d show up here today. I saw you headed home after the ceremony.”

  Her soft voice and non-accusing words set him back a step. Where was the anger he’d been sure she would spout in his presence? “I did go home, but it was too quiet, so I came out for a walk and ended up here.”

  She stood close enough for him to reach out and touch her. Her eyes held a sympathy that did not speak of pity but of concern. “Elliot, I know something terrible happened in Cleveland, and I want to help you. It hurts me to see you enjoying yourself one minute and then see you filled with sadness the next.”

  Pain and guilt washed over Elliot with such a flood that if he didn’t get them out in the open, he’d drown. Kate knew him better than anyone except Doc and Aunt Maggie. Somehow, somewhere, something had to give, and it may as well be here and now with Kate. He grasped her arm. “Come with me to the infirmary. I’ll tell you exactly what happened.”

  Kate only nodded and followed him to the infirmary. Once inside, he lit one of the lamps and gestured for her to have a seat.

  He paced back and forth in front of her. “I’m not sure where to begin, so I will just tell you my way. I was deeply in love with a woman named Angela. We were engaged to be married and looked forward to our wedding. Her parents were so proud of her and of me being a doctor. My parents passed when I was a young boy, so Doc and Aunt Maggie have always taken care of me. Mr. Dupree treated me like a son too, and I couldn’t have been happier.”

  The memories rained down in a deluge of color and sounds from the hospital that fateful night. He swallowed hard before continuing his story. “As a first year out of medical school doctor, I was on call whenever the hospital decided I was needed. That night I was supposed to pick Angela up from a party her friends were giving at a popular restaurant. At the last minute I had to take care of an emergency and couldn’t pick her up. When I didn’t show, she decided to stay longer with the party.”

  He stopped. Now came the hard part, but he had to go on. “A fire broke out in the kitchen of the restaurant and quickly spread to the dining area. Of course the patrons panicked and ran over each other trying to get out. Sophia thought Angela was right behind her and made it out to safety. Once outside she realized Angela wasn’t in the crowd. When they found her, she had been knocked unconscious and lay on the floor near the table.

  “By the time they got her to the hospital, she was in critical condition. Smoke had filled her lungs, and the blow to her head kept her unconscious. No matter what I . . . we tried, she wouldn’t wake up and start breathing, and finally when I remembered the oxygen treatment that had been used in other cases like hers, it was too late. We never revived her, and I lost her. It should never have happened. If I hadn’t been so slow to try the oxygen, we could have forced air into her lungs and got them to working again, but because of my panic I didn’t.”

  Kate said nothing for a moment, but her eyes spoke volumes. She stood and grasped his hands in hers. “I’m so sorry, Elliot. That was a tragic thing for you to bear. But it’s time to forgive yourself.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but Kate held up her hand. “I’m not finished. You can’t change what happened, and you can’t bring back Angela. What you can do is lay those memories to rest and build new ones for the future.”

  A gasp spilled forth from him. “But I never want to forget Angela and the love we had.”

  “That’s not what I meant. Bury the painful memories and keep the good ones. Don’t let the bad outweigh the good. You can keep the good ones, but there’s a whole wonderful world out there just waiting for you to wake up and start living again. It’s time for new memories, Elliot, and this upcoming Christmas season is the best time to make them.” She stood and strode to the door. “That’s all I have to say. I’ll see you here on Monday.”

  When she closed the door behind her, Elliot slumped into one of the chairs in the waiting room. What she said made sense. Kate had given him much to think about.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  ELLIOT SAT IN his office behind a closed door. His hands shook as he tried to write information on a chart. Finally he dropped the pen and leaned his head on his hands. He massaged his temples with fingers grown weary from a morning filled with patients of one ailment or another.

  For two weeks Elliot fought his demons alone, and Kate hadn’t spoken about their conversation again. He continued to avoid Abigail, but he watched her comings and goings from the library and about town, and at no time did he see her with Cory. Could it be that there was nothing between them? Hope began to worm its way into his heart.

  If he wanted a relationship with Abigail, however, he knew he had to put Angela to rest. He clenched his teeth. It was time to see what God had to say about it. He reached for the Bible he’d placed in his bottom drawer many months ago. He didn’t remember why he’d put it there, but he was glad to find it now.

  He turned to the passage Doc mentioned time and again and the reverend had mentioned at the wedding, Psalm 139.

  Verse 8 caught his eye. “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.” He’d been in his own private hell for years now, and according to the psalmist, God had been right there with him. A chill ran through his veins as he continued to read.

  When he read verses 15 and 16, scales fell from his eyes, and he finally and fully understood what Doc had been tryin
g to tell him. God had known Elliot even in the days before his conception and knew the number of days in his life before he was born. God had known the number of Angela’s days too. He had given her to Elliot for those brief days that had been the happiest of his life.

  He still didn’t quite understand why God chose a short life for Angela. Just thinking about her hurt. The only person he knew who could explain any of it was the same man who had spoken the words from this psalm in church.

  Elliot grabbed his hat and hurried from the office. Reverend Winston should be in his office or possibly at home, but Elliot didn’t intend to waste any more time before he talked with the young man. That thought brought a brief smile. Never would he have imagined seeking advice about God from a person his own age, but that’s exactly what he planned to do.

  When he approached the parsonage, Reverend Winston stood on the porch. Elliot’s hand went to the breast pocket of his jacket. The Duprees’ letter lay hidden in the inside pocket. Without hesitation he headed toward the parson.

  “Reverend Winston, may I have a word with you?”

  The young minister nodded and waited for Elliot. When he reached the porch, he spilled forth his request before he could change his mind. “Reverend, may we find a place for privacy?”

  “Of course. Come into the parlor. Erin is upstairs resting. We just finished our meal, and she was a little tired.”

  Elliot nodded. “Being this close to delivery, she needs all the rest she can give her body for what’s to come.” He followed Seth into the house, where they sat across from each other in the parlor.

  He pulled the letter from his pocket and held it in front of him. “I received this several weeks ago. In it two people forgive me for a terrible mistake I made and say they don’t blame me for their daughter’s death. I must first explain what happened and the reason I haven’t been to church.”