Could've Said Yes

by Tracy March

  It’s over…

  “When we got home from the I Bar,” Gary said. “I sat Maddy down and admitted what I’d done.”

  Maddy nodded. “I was blown away. It was hard for me to process, considering I’d thought someone else was responsible the entire time. And when Gary told me what you’d done for him—for us—I could hardly believe it.” She leveled her gaze on Collin. “That was like you taking a bullet for our family, and three out of four of us are strangers to you.” She rubbed circles on her belly.

  Collin thought about all the soldiers, policemen, and firefighters who did the same for strangers every day, and he was proud if he was even remotely similar to them. Maybe he was more like his grandfather than he’d thought.

  “Like I told you at the I Bar,” he said to Maddy, “you’ve got a good man there.”

  Gary furrowed his brow. “Didn’t feel so good until I stood up tonight and told everyone the truth. No telling what’s gonna happen tomorrow, or who’s gonna hate me most, but I’m at peace with everything right now.”

  Maddy leaned over and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

  “Kisses,” Kenzie said in a sweet, singsong voice. Gary smiled and kissed her on her head. She climbed off the couch, went to Maddy’s side, and got another kiss. “And one for the baby.” She pressed her lips to Maddy’s belly, then wandered back over and sat on the floor in front of the television.

  It struck Collin how happy they were, despite the fact that Gary had lied to Maddy—by omission—just like he had with Ellie.

  “I’m not trying to stir up trouble,” Collin said. “And this might sound harsh.” He set his gaze on Maddy. “But how did you deal with the lie? Did you feel betrayed that Gary kept the truth from you?”

  “I didn’t like it.” Maddy reached for Gary’s hand, and squeezed it. “But it was a quick decision he made in a high-pressure situation. He was trying to protect us. He did it because he loves us, and that made it easier to forgive.”

  Collin couldn’t claim the same when it came to Ellie. He hadn’t even considered her when he’d made his knee-jerk decision at the site that day. In hindsight, he wished he would have.

  Maybe things would’ve turned out differently.

  “We all make bad decisions and mistakes,” Maddy said. “But when you love someone, you work through it.”

  Collin mustered a smile and nodded. Outside this house, life might get complicated for the Holdrens for a while. But what they had inside guaranteed that things would work out fine.

  If only I could say the same for Ellie and me.

  Chapter 21

  The sun was setting Sunday night before Ellie got back to the gallery, with everything from the arts festival in tow. Matt and Brian had wrangled the heavier items, including the chest of drawers and shelves, while she and Kristi had brought back lightweight things, like her easel and the few pictures that hadn’t sold. She set the easel in the window, exactly where it had been before the festival. Her heart lurched from beat to beat as she thought about all the hours she’d spent in front of it, painting pictures of Collin.

  Ellie wouldn’t be painting any more of him—or even looking at them, if she could help it. She’d sold the last two today, deciding there was no need to hold on to the one Collin had ordered from her. He wouldn’t be coming by to get it. Even if he did, she didn’t want him to have it. She’d poured too much emotion into that first picture, when things between the two of them had been exciting and new.

  Before the spill and the lie.

  Ellie sighed, wondering if she could feel more alone, even though she’d been surrounded by people all day. The whirlwind of the arts festival had given her little time to dwell on the fact that things between her and Collin were over. She’d expected that to happen when he went back to Durham, of course. There would be tears, and sadness, and a heavy heart, but she also would’ve been happy to have had the time with him. But Collin was still in Thistle Bend. There were tears and sadness and a heavy heart, but no lingering happiness. What could’ve been bittersweet had turned out just plain bitter.

  “This look all right?” Brian asked, his hand on the top of the chest of drawers that he and Matt had put back in place.

  Kristi eyeballed their work. Standing next to Matt, she looked even more petite than usual, her dark hair pulled into a high ponytail. “I think so. What do you think, Ellie?”

  Ellie checked it out as she walked over and joined them. “Perfect. But this place is going to look a little empty until I can get some more pictures painted.”

  Matt shot her a proud grin. “You killed it at the festival.”

  “Practically sold out,” Brian said, “and scored an award.”

  Ellie worked up a smile, hardly believing everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Living in her own head had become exhausting with all of the ups and downs. After being selected as an alternate for the festival, then asked to replace a dropout, she’d sold a huge chunk of her inventory and won a Jurors’ Award. The award exempted her from the jury process next year, so she wouldn’t have to compete for a spot. It had been an amazing success for her.

  But she’d lost Collin.

  Ellie was no stranger to brokenheartedness—Noah had seen to that. But she was stunned at how hurt she was over Collin. Things with him had felt so different. Real and right and…

  Wrong.

  “Act a little excited, would you?” Matt teased.

  “I am excited.” Ellie worked harder at her smile. “And exhausted.” She swept her gaze from Brian to Kristi to Matt. “Thank you all so much for helping me. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  As sincere and appreciative as Ellie was, she hoped they’d leave soon so she could just be alone. The last thing she’d needed after her emotional night last night was a day of having to be pleasant and engaging in a crowd of mostly strangers. Fortunately, Kristi wasn’t the type to ask personal questions, and she’d kept today all about Ellie’s work and the festival. There had been a fair number of locals in the crowd, but most of the people seemed to be visitors, keeping the chatter about Gary’s big revelation last night to a dull murmur. Hopefully Brian, Matt, and Kristi would head to the pub without mentioning it either. Ellie had the feeling that they were all intentionally avoiding the subject.

  “Let me get a picture of all of you for your mom and dad.” Kristi pulled out her phone and backed up a few steps, leaving Ellie, Brian, and Matt in front of the chest of drawers.

  It had been tough when their parents had moved to Austin five years ago after their dad got a job with 3M, but they’d adjusted. They all tried to keep in touch and visit as much as possible.

  “Act like you like one another,” Kristi teased.

  Ellie wedged in between her brothers, who put their arms around her. As much as she’d wanted to be alone, she loved the familiar comfort of being close to them—and them being there for her.

  Kristi raised her phone. “Say ‘Ellie won.’ ”

  They all spoke in unison as Kristi snapped the picture.

  Ellie held tight to her brothers. “Take a video, too.”

  Kristi kept her phone aimed at them. “Ready? Action.”

  “Hi, Mom and Dad.” Ellie waved. “We miss you. It was a great festival. Wish you could’ve been here. Love you.”

  “Cut,” Matt joked.

  Kristi lowered her phone, and went to work tapping on the screen. “I’m sending it to everyone.”

  Ellie hugged Brian, and then Matt. “Now get out of here. You’ve done enough hard work. Go celebrate for me.”

  “You’re not coming to the pub with us?” Kristi asked.

  Ellie shook her head. “I’m going home and crashing—maybe for a day or two.”

  “So I’m opening in the morning?” Kristi smiled, eyebrows raised.

  Kristi could use the hours, and Ellie could use a break. “Would you?”

  “For sure.”

  As they headed toward the door, Matt’s phone pinged. He checked
the text, shoved the phone into his pocket, and snuck a sidelong glance at Ellie.

  “What?” she asked. He shook his head, but she knew him well enough to guess that something was up. “Why did you look at me like that?”

  “I didn’t mean to.” He grinned, clearly trying to distract her.

  “But you did.” Ellie nudged his biceps. “Who was it from?”

  “Carl.”

  Who works up at the Big Star site with Collin and Gary.

  “What did he want?” Ellie asked.

  “Dude’s just spreading rumors.”

  Brian raised his eyebrows. “About what?”

  Matt winced. Ellie had seen that look so many times over the years when he’d been pushed to do something he really didn’t want to.

  They stopped short of the door, all eyes on Matt. Now everyone was curious.

  Matt bowed his head and shook it. “Word is that Collin and Gary are gonna get fired over all that who-done-it drama.”

  Ellie’s heart stuttered. Despite what had happened with Collin, she didn’t want him to lose his job. And poor Gary. Things would be tough for him and Maddy.

  “Why?” Ellie asked. “I mean, there wasn’t any talk about firing Collin before.” At least that she knew of. But she hadn’t known what was really going on the whole time anyway.

  Matt shrugged. “That’s all Carl said.”

  “Maybe you can ask Collin,” Brian said.

  Ellie stared at the floor and pressed her lips together tightly, swallowing against her rising emotions. Everything was bubbling to the surface, and she struggled to keep it down. “I won’t be seeing him.”

  Brian and Matt cut a concerned-brother look at each other, and Kristi furrowed her brow.

  “But you two were vibing pretty good,” Matt said. “Every time I blinked you were painting a picture of him.”

  Ellie squeezed her eyes closed for a second. She had so hoped she wouldn’t have to talk about this. “Things were fine until the thing with Gary last night.”

  Brian raised one eyebrow, a sure sign he’d already started analyzing everything. “So all was good when you thought Collin caused the breach, but they aren’t now that you know he didn’t?” He shook his head. “Sounds counterintuitive to me. Seems like you’d have even more to celebrate tonight.”

  “He’s got a point,” Matt said. “That was like a superhero thing Collin did, if you ask me—taking the rap for Gary.” Matt scrubbed his hand through his tousled hair. “Wish I could say I’d do the same, but, man, that’d be a tough one.”

  “People can’t believe it,” Kristi said. “But they’re not trash-talking him anymore.”

  “What gives?” Brian asked Ellie.

  “It might’ve been a superhero thing to do,” she said, “but he lied.”

  Brian drew his head back. “He was protecting Gary and his family. After he decided to help the guy out, he couldn’t very well tell the truth.”

  Ellie shot him a rueful look. “He could’ve told me.”

  “No, he couldn’t,” Matt said.

  Ellie’s eyes went wide. “Whose side are you on?”

  “The right side?” he said.

  “There I was thinking he was going through this awful time because he’d caused a natural disaster, when in reality, that wasn’t true.” Ellie crossed her arms.

  “He was still going through an awful time,” Brian said. “Imagine taking a beating like he’s been getting, and knowing you weren’t the one who deserved it. I’m not saying Gary deserves it either—the breach was an accident—but there’s no way Collin could’ve known what he was in for when he told Gary he’d take the blame.”

  Collin had said as much to Ellie.

  Matt nodded. “You two were hanging out a lot, I guess, but Collin couldn’t possibly know you well enough yet to spill such a mammoth secret. Dude had to have his eye on splitting town with that info zipped up tight, and no one would know except Gary.”

  Ellie furrowed her brow. Had she expected too much from Collin?

  “If you’re going to do something like that,” Brian said, “you’ve got to do it a hundred percent.”

  “Don’t be too hard on the guy.” Matt put his arm around Ellie, and tugged her close. “I’d be the first one to warn you off of him if I thought he’d done you wrong.”

  Brian shook his head. “Not the first, bro. That’d be me.”

  Matt rolled his eyes. “Okay. The second. But I’m not there, by a long shot.”

  “Me neither,” Brian said. “I actually hope you’ll end up with a straight-up guy like Collin.”

  Kristi gave Ellie a wan smile, clearly struggling with her loyalty to both sides.

  “Let things settle down a little, and see where your head is,” Brian said. “Some time might give you a different perspective.”

  Despite her exhaustion, Ellie’s thoughts raced so fast she might never catch up with them. Maybe Matt and Brian were right—she should take some time to think about it. But Collin could be leaving any day, especially if he was going to get fired.

  How much time do I have?

  Chapter 22

  Work had gone as usual for Collin at the Big Star site on Sunday, but the vibe had been totally different. A few of the guys who hadn’t said a word to him since the breach actually came up, shook his hand, and told him that it was a hell of a thing he’d done for Gary—and there wasn’t too much animosity for Gary either. It seemed like everyone had already dealt with it.

  Or realized it could just as easily have been them.

  With the blame game seemingly resolved at the site, and the awkward aftermath behind the workers, Monday seemed less tense than usual. Maybe it was because they were making progress. They’d built several settling ponds to divert toxic-water drainage from Lupine Creek, and treated the water in the ponds. The Lariat River had returned to its natural color as the metals got diluted or settled into sediment, and water quality tests had improved. Short term, things were getting better. Long term was still wait-and-see.

  But there was no wait-and-see with Ellie. She’d made it unquestionably clear that it was over between her and Collin. Sleeping alone in the bed in his rental house for the last two nights had been like serving time compared to the nights he’d spent with Ellie. Things at the mine might be resolving, but his heart was still reeling from its own natural disaster.

  Restless, Collin had tossed and turned, questioning whether he should’ve been up front with Ellie and told her what he’d done for Gary. But he kept coming back to the same answer…

  No.

  Ellie was something special, for sure. She’d blindsided him at just the right time, and helped him realize exactly why things hadn’t worked out between him and Megan. It had been as much about him as it had about her. He’d never felt a hundred percent free to be himself with Megan, but he hadn’t realized it until he’d spent time with Ellie. She’d quickly had him pulling pranks, rethinking his ridiculous rules, and revealing the humiliating story of his failed engagement. For a while he’d thought it was because she was the perfect stranger—the kind you meet, spend some time with, and spill your guts to, then never see again in your life. He’d known all along that he’d be leaving her and going back to his life in Durham. But it became much more than that.

  I was really falling for her.

  And taking it day by day. That’s how he’d fooled himself into thinking they’d always have one more night together. That when the time came for him to leave, he could walk away with his heart intact.

  Maybe that was the biggest lie of all.

  The afternoon sun prickled Collin’s forearms as he gazed at the front-end loader removing piles of jagged rocks away from the edge of one of the tailing ponds.

  “Hey, Cooper,” a guy called from behind him.

  Collin turned. One of the EPA bigwigs stood there, his hard hat tipped too far back.

  “Birch wants to see you at Response Headquarters.”

  Collin’s gut twisted. Birch was high-l
evel brass. After Gary came out with the truth Saturday night, Collin had figured he was going to get blasted by the EPA—he just hadn’t known when.

  “Now?” he asked the bigwig.

  “Five minutes ago.”

  Dreading what was coming, Collin left the site and headed into town.

  Maybe this’ll be the last of it.

  He parked his bike in the lot at the Emergency Response Headquarters, headed up the walk, and went inside. There were far fewer people there than there’d been just after the spill, and that was a good sign. Nodding to a couple guys as he passed, he walked to the back of the building—last office on the left.

  Stocky and stern, Harold Birch sat at the basic wooden desk, looking out of place wearing a suit jacket over an open-collared shirt. His thinning gray hair was slicked straight back, his face thick and jowly.

  Collin knocked on the open door.

  Birch looked up, the crease between his bushy eyebrows deepening for a second. “Come in and have a seat, Cooper.”

  Collin did as he was told, sitting on a scarred metal chair with a rip in the Naugahyde cushion.

  Birch closed his laptop and leveled his gaze on Collin. “What kind of game are you and that Holdren character playing?”

  Collin clenched his jaw. “No game. The story is exactly how Gary told it.”

  Birch pinched his lips together, the puffy bottom one sticking out as he assessed Collin. “I’ve been around long enough to know that something stinks here. Seems to me you two are trying to muddy the waters—which one of you already did in an epic way.” Birch clutched the edge of the desk with his beefy fingers. “No one at the agency was thrilled when news leaked that you caused the breach. We’ve had to work like hell to control the narrative and get the public to put down their pitchforks. Then this contractor Holdren shows up and claims it was him.”

  Collin’s pulse pounded, but he sat stone still. “It was.”

  “You should’ve said that before.” Birch leaned back in his chair, seemingly waiting for Collin to reply, but he didn’t. “Bottom line is this. The agency has no intention of taking responsibility for that spill. We told you to keep your head down and give it some time. That would’ve allowed the PR guys to slowly spin things our way. But now you’ve gone and stirred things up again.”