Paper or Plastic

by Vivi Barnes

  Grandma didn’t know the whole story, that Bryce lost his position on the varsity team when he was finally allowed back, that his coach still referenced the incident and mentioned how much better he could’ve been whenever Bryce was having an “off” day. And that his traveling tournament team blamed him for the rest of the season’s losses and pretty much hazed him for it. Yeah, Bryce forgiving Noah would be more shocking than a blizzard in summer. But all I said to her was, “I guess.”

  “Do you think Noah will ask you out?”

  I gaped at her. “Grandma, we are not going out. We just work together. And he’s not my type, trust me.”

  “Why not?”

  “Just…no.” Not after finding out who he was, at least. Which sucked again that he had to be that guy instead of just some cute dude at work.

  “Fine, fine.” She reached up to gently tuck my hair behind my ear. “What are you reading?” she asked, glancing at my open yearbook where Noah’s face stared moodily up at me.

  I quickly shut the book. “Nothing. Just an old yearbook.”

  She sighed heavily. “Sweetheart, be careful not to get so caught up in the past that it affects your future. That’s no way to live your life.” She leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “Now why don’t you come downstairs and have a cookie with me?”

  “Mom said dinner’s almost ready. She’d be pissed.”

  “Exactly.” Grandma grinned wickedly and I laughed, following her. Grandma loved her daughter-in-law, I guess, but theirs was definitely a strained relationship. Grandma liked doing things that made Mom nuts, and my mother in turn enjoyed nagging Grandma about everything. I was just glad she lived here. When my mother upset me, I’d run to Grandma. She was always full of hugs and smiles and jokes and everything that turned the world right-side-up again. Sure, she’d forget things here and there or repeat herself, but didn’t all older people? I didn’t care what my parents said about her being sick. Grandma was fine—better than fine.

  And she would help me get through this nightmare of a job.

  5

  Tuesday at SmartMart wasn’t too horrible, though my feet were throbbing from being on my feet all day. Noah and I didn’t talk much, but at least there weren’t glare daggers being thrown in either direction. Once he even smiled at me—a shy smile that made my stomach flip. I even caught myself looking for him on occasion. I wasn’t sure if it was because I hoped he’d be nearby or that I hoped he wouldn’t. One thing was for sure—the guy made me uncomfortable, and I hated that feeling.

  After I clocked in on Wednesday, Bessie had me take a test on what I’d learned on the point of sale. Unfortunately, I passed, so she set me up in the front of the store for the second part of my training: The Greeter Position.

  “Lexus, are we working together all day today?” Ruthie asked, clapping her hands as I joined her.

  “Looks like it.” Weird how she had dropped the A from my name and was just calling me Lexus. Made me feel like a car.

  The Greeter Position mostly involved pasting smiles on our faces and pushing carts toward customers who entered the store. In my opinion, it was easily the most boring job ever created. But Ruthie seemed to love it more than breathing. She had a big grin on her face, and her “welcome” as customers entered the store was enthusiastic, to say the very least.

  “Hi there! Welcome to SmartMart!” she yelled at one man who looked startled at the cart flying his way, but he caught it and thanked her politely.

  Working with Ruthie actually made The Greeter Position much more interesting, since watching the door through her eyes meant seeing customers in a whole new light.

  “That lady’s name is Carol,” she said after she walked a cart over to an elderly woman. I noticed that she was careful about giving the cart to Carol, not shoving it at her as she did to everyone else. “Her husband died last year, so she comes here every week and puts a bunch of stuff in her cart and talks to people about the stuff and then leaves the cart in the aisle and goes home.”

  I watched as Carol proceeded to the produce section, stopping to put a large bunch of bananas in her cart. She did the same with apples and peaches, smiling the whole time at other employees and customers, who all smiled back at her. “Wait, she just leaves a full cart in the aisle and takes off? Doesn’t Mr. Hanson get mad about that?”

  “Oh, no.” Ruthie shook her head. “Mr. Hanson said we have to be understanding because she’s sad and needs friends. We’re her friends.”

  This didn’t surprise me at all about Mr. Hanson. I wondered if he had a single mean or even slightly annoyed bone in his body. I somehow doubted it. And after watching Ruthie with the woman, I doubted she did, either.

  As she shoved a cart at another incoming customer and shouted her greeting, I smiled at her. “Know what? You’re a really nice person, Ruthie. I bet Carol is glad to have you as a friend.”

  Her eyes lit up in delight. “You are a nice friend too, Lexus.”

  I shifted, an uncomfortable feeling settling in my stomach as the stupid video I had made of her resurfaced in my mind. What the hell had I been thinking, anyway?

  A few customers later, I got another update. “That guy is with a new lady every week,” Ruthie told me, pointing to a huge muscle of a man who walked in with his arm around a woman in a bikini top. “Do you think he keeps them in a house and takes them out one at a time for a walk?”

  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard in my life as I did at that casual observation. Ruthie joined in, though she seemed to be laughing more because I was than because of her own statement. We were laughing so hard that Bessie stopped by to ask us to keep it down, though she chuckled when I told her what Ruthie said.

  Even with Ruthie’s fascinating observations, time passed slowly in the Dreadful Greeter Position. I did snicker a couple of times as I watched people struggle to pick up the glued quarter on the floor, but it quickly got old.

  By the time lunch came around, my nerves were growling as much as my stomach. I took my break alone, ignoring the conversation Jake was having with the vending machine and relishing in the blessed half-hour of alone time. When I returned to my shift at the door, Ruthie had a new idea to pass the time.

  “Hey, Lexus! Want to play the cart game?”

  “Ruthie, you can just call me Lex.”

  “I like Lexus!” she said loudly. “Like my daddy’s Lexus!”

  I cringed as several people sorting through vegetable bins turned around to stare at us. “What’s the cart game?” I whispered, mostly to change the subject and get her to lower her voice.

  She seemed to catch on. “Oh,” she whispered. “It’s where I stand on the end of the cart and you push me around and around and around.”

  “Um, that doesn’t sound like a good idea, Ruthie.”

  “Oh, it’s so fun! You’ll love it! I can push you, too. But me first.”

  She went to the end of a cart and stepped up over the wheels, holding tightly to the basket. “Ready!”

  I was grateful for the onslaught of people coming through the door at that moment. Ruthie seemed to forget about the cart game immediately, jumping right back into Overenthusiastic Greeter Position.

  Another hour and I finally caved to pushing Ruthie around in the cart a couple times, just to break up the boredom, though I declined my own special ride from her. Her laughter as I spun the cart around was contagious, though, and I found myself laughing along with her. In a way, she was like Court—someone who could make the best of any situation and didn’t care what anyone else thought. Definitely not like me, who worried way too much about what people thought.

  Dizzy, I slowed down, still clinging to the cart until I could get my balance back on track. My eyes landed on Noah, whose lips were parted slightly in a weirdly awed expression as he watched us. Oh, I got it—clearly he was surprised I was actually having fun with Ruthie. I straightened and smiled as big as I could at him, one eyebrow lifted as my eyes stayed fixed on his, daring him to say anything. Then I de
liberately turned my back on him.

  By Thursday, I was ready to beg on my knees for Bessie to put me somewhere—anywhere—other than Greeter Position From Hell. I could not understand how Ruthie enjoyed it so much. I was fed up with the never-ending task of cleaning the front display (its own special kind of nightmare, since the display got messed up almost as soon as I finished organizing it), pushing carts at people, and smiling until my cheeks ached. I was more than happy to go collapse in the break room for fifteen minutes, though someone apparently thought it was funny to put some disgusting goo in the snack machine’s coin return slot. Trying to retrieve my quarters in the snot-like substance made me lose my desire for the Twix bar that appeared below.

  Prankster 1, Lex a big fat 0. I tossed the bar in my locker for later.

  Another hour into my shift, I was willing the clock hands to move faster and whining to myself about how this was now my life when a loud, high-pitched squeal reached my ears. “Oh my God, this is awesome!”

  Holly Zelner and a couple of her friends—including Maggie Martin from my softball team—were staring at me, their eyes moving up and down my body like I was wearing a clown suit instead of a SmartMart uniform. “I’d heard you were here,” she said. “I just wanted to see for myself.”

  “Hey, Maggie,” I said calmly, ignoring Holly. Maggie smiled and returned my greeting. My relief pitcher for the Falcons, Maggie was actually a nice person, so I never understood why she hung out with Holly, the most spiteful girl at my school. I had a feeling their parents were friends or something. At least, that was the only reason I could come up with.

  As for Holly, I knew her issues with me started with the fact that I was best friends with Bryce, the guy she’d had a crush on for years, regardless of his dating Court. She’d show up at his baseball games wearing ridiculously high heels and butt-hugging jeans. She even tried volunteering at Let’s Have a Ball last summer but spent the whole time ignoring the kids and bitching about the heat. It was Florida, so I didn’t know what she expected. One of the highlights of my summer was when Bryce asked her why the hell she volunteered if she didn’t like the sun. She never came back, and because I laughed when he said it, I became Public Enemy Number One.

  So I had one guess as to why she was here today.

  Holly jumped as Ruthie shoved a cart right into her, which made me snicker. Way to go, Ruthie. “Do you mind?” Holly snapped. She opened her mouth again, but I held up a hand.

  “Ruthie, why don’t you go take your break. I’ll watch the front.”

  “Okay.” Ruthie walked toward the employee door without turning back.

  Holly looked over as a woman with skunk-like hair walked in, then grinned at me. “You know, Lex, I couldn’t imagine a better place for you to work. You fit right in.”

  “So you’re here to shop?” I asked cheerfully. “I hear there’s a sale on that designer imposter perfume you like to wear.”

  Her face fell as her friends giggled. Holly prided herself on having the best fashion sense in school, but Court was once friends with her and said she used the little sprays that said, “If you like then you’ll love .” True story.

  “Stop it,” she told her amused friends, then glared at me. “I just wanted to see if the rumor about you working here was true.” She looked at her friends again. “Y’all, remind me to show you this awesome People of SmartMart video on YouTube. It’s hi-lar-i-ous,” she said, emphasizing each syllable. Her face relaxed into a smile as she eyed me. I yawned dramatically. “Too bad you missed the softball game today,” she added. “Maggie was great out there. She pitched a no-hitter.”

  Maggie frowned and shook her head. “No, I didn’t. I—”

  “Well, just about. Didn’t you say that Coach Santiago said he was thinking about replacing Lex anyway?”

  I stared at Maggie, who flushed as she scuffed her sandal against the tile, her eyes not meeting mine. “Well, I think he just meant over the summer, Lex. Not in season or anything.”

  My stomach plummeted. Switching me out of my coveted starting pitcher’s position for Maggie Martin? No way. Seriously, there was no way—last season I had to stay after almost every practice and work with her on her pitching. She had improved, but no way enough to replace me. But then…Coach Santiago had been disappointed, to say the least, when I told him I couldn’t play today, since I was scheduled to work. It was just a scrimmage, but to our coach, every game, practice or not, counted. He didn’t tolerate excuses. And Holly looked way too sure of herself.

  My fingers itched to grab a cart and shove it at Holly myself—as hard as I could. But my internal Grandma took over. Take the high road, Lex. Smile the hell out of your face and let it go. So I just said, “I’m glad you had a good game, Maggie.” And smiled.

  Her eyes met mine again in relief. “Thanks. I’m sure you’ll stay as primary pitcher.”

  Holly snorted. “Not if Lex keeps skipping practice and games. I mean, that’s according to your coach, not me.”

  I gritted my teeth and wished for a Code B right now, right on Holly’s faux jeweled sandals.

  “So is it true, Lex? You wanted to work here because you applied everywhere else but no one would hire someone with your”—Holly looked me up and down again—“obvious disregard for anything resembling style?”

  I shouldn’t have caved. I normally wouldn’t have let her get to me—especially over a comment as ridiculous as that. But the threat of being replaced with Maggie loomed over me with a pressure so heavy it felt like I was sinking into the tile floor. So it was without thinking that I said, “For your information, I was forced to take some stupid deal the manager offered because I stole something, okay? So no, I did not want to work here. You’d have to be a loser to actually want to work here.” The words slipped off my tongue before I could catch them.

  Holly’s gaze lifted above my shoulder. I whipped around to see Noah behind me, his eyes wide.

  Oh, no…

  Of course he’d been listening. Of course he looked annoyed. Even hurt.

  Of course I felt like the biggest bitch of all.

  I turned around, but Holly was already stepping away, grinning. “See you later, girlfriend.” She waved as she led her friends out of the store, because they certainly weren’t there to shop.

  Holly 1, Lex 0.

  I pivoted slowly back to Noah, but he was already walking away.

  “Noah,” I called out weakly, but he didn’t turn around.

  6

  The rest of the day, I didn’t see Noah. I kept an eye out, but either he was on the sales floor or hiding in the office. When my break started, I peeked in the assistant manager’s office and even Mr. Hanson’s office, but he was nowhere to be seen. I stopped to check my phone and saw a text from Syd—Whattup buttercup?

  I responded with a Meh text. Then I added, Holly showed up she’s a bitch and set the phone back down in my locker.

  How could I have let Holly get to me like that? She meant nothing to me. Her words should have meant nothing. But here I was, offending Noah Grayson already. Why did I say that? Why couldn’t I have just told her it was a decent place to work or something like that? Or even ignore her—who cared what she thought, anyway? If she hadn’t been trying to rub Maggie as replacement pitcher in my face, I wouldn’t have caved.

  My dad would be so disappointed in me. So would my grandma. Syd would’ve said Holly wasn’t worth the trouble.

  I sucked.

  I was busy drowning my guilt in Diet Coke and Twix during the few minutes of my last break in the employee lounge when Noah walked in. He stopped short when he saw me, his eyes narrowing slightly. I tried to smile, but he shook his head and turned to walk back out.

  “Hey, Noah.”

  His face turned slightly so I could see his profile, but his hands stayed pressed against the door. “What?”

  “I’m sorry about earlier. You know, with Holly and all.”

  “Forget it,” he sa
id, pushing the door open and leaving me alone.

  Mr. Hanson appeared as I rejoined Ruthie at my shift. “Good afternoon, ladies. How are we today?”

  “Mr. Hanson, do you know A-lexis?” Ruthie asked, bouncing on her heels.

  “Why, yes, Ruthie. I had the pleasure of meeting her the other day. In fact…” He turned to me. “Can you come to my office, please, Alexis? Just for a few minutes.”

  He smiled, but I felt nervous flutters in my chest. I couldn’t be in trouble already, could I? Unless…maybe Noah said something to him about my rude comment. Maybe he was going to fire me. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Ruthie gave me a thumbs-up sign and grin as I turned to follow Mr. Hanson.

  Mr. Hanson’s office was just past the security office where I’d awaited my sentence almost a week ago. It gave me the chills. If I had gone over to Syd’s house or to the fields or anywhere else instead of shop(lift)ing with Court, I would probably be on the beach right now, laughing with my friends, instead of following the manager of SmartMart to his office.

  “How is everything, young lady?” Mr. Hanson asked as he sat down and gestured toward an empty chair on the other side of his desk. He began shuffling through some papers.

  “Fine, thanks.” I sat down on the edge of the seat and rubbed my sweaty palms on my pants.

  “That’s good. I wanted to see… Let me see… Ah, yes, here it is.” He handed me a half sheet of paper with a small map printed on it along with a phone number and the name of some clinic. “I know you filled out the rest of the forms earlier, but this is for the drug test.”

  “Drug test?”

  He held up his hands. “It’s just a requirement for every SmartMart employee. In fact, you should’ve taken it before starting here, but sometimes we don’t get around to it right away.” He raised an eyebrow. “This shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

  Was he kidding? “I don’t take drugs. So, no.”

  He nodded. “Sorry, you just looked worried. The map will show you how to get there. You don’t need an appointment, but you do need to have it done by the end of next week.”