Paper or Plastic

by Vivi Barnes

  Noah—I never made things right with him or Bryce. Why didn’t I just tell Bryce how I felt earlier? He could’ve dealt with it. He at least would’ve appreciated that I told him rather than finding out accidentally from Ruthie. Noah thought I was embarrassed of him. Bryce thought I was a traitor.

  The tears burned a path down my floured cheeks. I buried my head in my arms. Bessie stirred next to me, and it occurred to me that I didn’t know much about her family at all. Were they aware she was in trouble? When my grandma disappeared, we knew immediately. Did Bessie’s kids or grandkids look out for her?

  I felt a hand pat my arm. “It’s okay, Lexus. It’ll be okay. They’ll find us. They’re out there right now, trying to get in.”

  I lifted my head to stare at Ruthie’s faint silhouette. If I wasn’t so depressed, I’d have laughed at us: Ruthie crooning to me and Bessie about people coming to save us, Bessie savoring each of Ruthie’s words, and me crying my eyes out like a baby. I sniffed. Of the three of us, Ruthie was the only one holding it together.

  “Yeah, you’re right, Ruthie. They’ll come for us. They have to.”

  Time passed so slowly. I wished I had a watch so I could see if it had been minutes or hours that we were stuck here. Why did none of us have a watch? Ruthie fell asleep, as did Bessie. I envied them. All I could do was sit here and think about the terrible possibilities. I thought I could hear sirens, but it was muted.

  Again, I tried to push and pull some of the tiles and crap blocking us to see if I could work our way free, but that only caused rubble to fall into our space. It was the most frustrating thing—there could’ve been only a few inches separating us from fresh air, but there was nothing we could do about it.

  Ruthie eventually woke up. Even though my dry throat hurt, I talked with her to pass the time. She started telling me about her dad. “When did you see him last?” I asked.

  Her face clouded. “A while ago.” She dropped her head and I felt bad for bringing it up in the first place.

  “I’m sure he loves you.”

  She nodded. “He does. He says that…” She broke off, frowning. “He did say that.”

  “So where do you go to school?” I asked to change the subject.

  She laughed out loud. “I went to school when I was little, but I am twenty-six now.”

  Twenty-six? I had no idea. I thought she wasn’t much older than me. “Where do you live?”

  “With my mom. She needs me,” she said importantly. Strangely, I believed that. Ruthie’s mom probably loved having the energy of Ruthie around. It occurred to me that this situation would be worse if I didn’t have Ruthie to talk to right now.

  “Noah says you go to school with him,” Ruthie said.

  “Yes, he’s right.”

  “Is that why you came to work here? Because you know him?”

  “No. I didn’t know Noah before.”

  “If you went to school with him, why didn’t you know him?”

  Because I was a jerk. Because he didn’t really exist to me. “It’s a big school. I don’t know everyone.”

  I thought about that. In the fall, I’d be back at school as a junior, and Noah would be a senior. If he still liked me after all this, would anything change between us? We weren’t into the same things, didn’t have the same interests. Then I had to wonder about Noah’s friends. The only one I’d met was Miller, and I didn’t think very much of him. I didn’t know about his other friends, and all he really knew about mine resulted from the crap he had to deal with in the past. The thought was unsettling.

  The minutes and hours dragged on. I was so hot and thirsty that all I could think about was the fact that a sink with water was only a few feet away, and we couldn’t get to it. We tried shouting for help every so often. I took turns with Ruthie so we could limit the use of our voices. Bessie even tried once, but the effort was too much for her. We heard motors and sirens, and occasionally what sounded like voices, though I wasn’t sure about that.

  I started making promises in my head. I promise I’ll be nicer to Rory. I promise I’ll be more respectful to my mother. I promise I won’t be mean to anyone anymore, even bitchy Roxanne. I promise… I promise…

  Ruthie and I stopped talking altogether, even to shout for help. She looked dazed, unable to even stroke Bessie’s hair anymore. Bessie couldn’t stay awake. It didn’t help that it was so hot in the small space, the air so thick I might’ve been able to see it if it were brighter. My head was aching now and my throat was dry as a desert.

  It must have been hours now since the tornado. It was darker now—the little pinpoints of light just a faint haze. It didn’t get dark until almost nine o’clock, so I knew we had been in here for several hours. The air was getting too thick; we needed more than just little holes to produce oxygen, but I was afraid to try to move any of the rubble again.

  I had my eyes closed, on the verge of sleep, when a sound like bricks being smashed startled me awake. I held my breath, listening. Another smash, then a rustling noise.

  “Ruthie!” I poked her, jostling her awake. “What’s that sound?”

  She rubbed at her dirty face and tilted her head to listen. “Help!” I shouted hoarsely. Ruthie joined in. “Help! Help!”

  I could hear voices for sure now—men shouting, though I couldn’t understand what they were saying.

  Bessie was still out of it. I put a finger against her neck and could feel a faint, throbbing pulse. We doubled our efforts. “Help! We’re stuck in here!”

  I was sure they could hear us now. A man’s deep voice said something, but I couldn’t understand anything other than “out.”

  It was the only word I needed to hear. The sounds were definitely of people pulling rubble away. Lots of people. I wanted to cry in relief, but it would take too much energy. “Ruthie, they’re coming to rescue us.”

  Ruthie took my hand and held it up like we were champions. “We’re okay!” she sang in a scratchy voice. I could’ve hugged her.

  “Yes, we’re okay!”

  We could tell they were close when the space suddenly got less dark, and the light began to find its way to us. It was all I could do not to push myself out of the remaining wreckage.

  Ruthie didn’t feel such restraint. When it was clear there was only a few inches separating us from our rescuers, she pushed against the rubble again and again. I blinked hard and held an arm up to cover my eyes as a bright light shone in on us.

  “Oh my God, there they are.” I recognized Mr. Hanson’s voice and others yelling. Some crying, some sobbing, some cheering. I couldn’t see anything for the light shining in. Ruthie wouldn’t climb out.

  “Go on, Ruthie,” I said to her. “They’re waiting for you.”

  “No, Bessie first.”

  Of course Ruthie wouldn’t leave Bessie. I wouldn’t, either, but the fact that she stayed behind until Bessie was rescued made me want to hug her.

  It took a while for the rescue crew to clear enough rubble and crawl over to us. I could hear my dad yelling at me that he loved me, Ruthie’s mom shouting the same to her. I didn’t hear anyone calling for Bessie.

  “Bessie,” I said as the rescue workers climbed over the rubble to get to us. “You’ll be fine now. They’re going to take you to the hospital and get you all better. We’ll be there for you.”

  Ruthie held Bessie’s hand and patted her hair. “You’re safe now, Bessie. I love you, Bessie.” She started crying. I wondered how she had any tears to cry, but I put my arms around her as the rescue workers carefully lifted Bessie onto a stretcher and carried her away. A couple firemen held their hands out to us and helped us crawl out of our little shelter. I peered painfully around in the light and my jaw dropped to see the wreckage. Nothing but what looked like rocks and cement blocks and tile everywhere. I looked back at the little table that had protected us for so many hours. I felt this weird love for it. I was losing my mind.

  My mind was such a blur as the firemen steadied me, my eyes blinded by work lights, t
hat all I could do was count hands.

  Four hands to pull me up and out of the wreckage.

  Six hands to embrace me as soon as my feet touched the solid ground. Arms circled around me. I recognized my mother’s heavy perfume, my sister’s smooth hair, my father’s deep voice.

  And two hands—two hands I’d thought about the most. Noah pulled me to him, his arms shaking. I stared up at him, blinking. His eyes were red—were those tears? He never cried. Not even when his father screamed at him.

  “Lex, I’m so… I’m sorry, and I…”

  He couldn’t finish his sentence, just pulled me to him in a tight hug. I could see my dad raising an eyebrow and my mother whispering something to him. It didn’t matter that we had an audience. I was in Noah’s arms. He still cared about me. After a while he finally released me, brushing my hair over my ears. Then he opened his mouth to speak the words I’d been waiting to hear.

  “You look like shit.”

  I laughed, then coughed. Immediately, a bottle of water was thrust into my hand. I took a long drink. “I’ve looked better.”

  He touched my cheek with his fingers. “I was in shock when I found out you never made it to the safe side of the store. When I saw that this entire right side was demolished, the exact place I’d last seen you…everything went black in my mind and…and I should’ve made sure you got where you were supposed to… I shouldn’t have…”

  He pulled me tight against him. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being alive. The world was right-side-up again.

  29

  Half of the store was demolished—the rest was almost untouched. I stared around, shocked that we could have survived this under nothing but a bakery table.

  The rescue team took me to the hospital, though I told them I was okay. My mother rode in the ambulance with me, which wasn’t my choice, but at least she didn’t nag at me for this or that. Mostly, she held my hand and stroked my hair. That part wasn’t so bad, I guess. My dad and Rory followed behind in their car, and Noah behind them. Ruthie was in a separate ambulance. It was embarrassing to be rushed to the hospital like I was a heart attack victim or something—lights and sirens and everything.

  “Oh, stop it, Alexis,” my mother said when I commented about how unnecessary it all was. “Just let them do their job.”

  In the emergency room, doctors examined me. I thought I only had some scrapes and bruises, but they disagreed. Apparently I was dehydrated, in shock, and had a possible concussion. My mother helped me take a shower, which made me feel much better, though a little sleepier.

  The only, and I mean only, upside to all this was that Noah stayed with me all night. Mom had offered, but I convinced her to go home. “I’ll be fine. I don’t even know why they’re forcing me to be here.”

  “Don’t you want me to stay and get you things?” she asked.

  “No, I just want to sleep. But I’ll have a hard time sleeping if I know you’re uncomfortable sitting on that chair.”

  She glanced at the ugly blue vinyl chair. This room was not equipped for overnight guests. “Well, if you think you’ll sleep better,” she said.

  I smiled at her. “I do.” I yawned, surprised to find that I actually was tired. But then, it was almost midnight. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be here early.”

  “Not too early, please. I’ll probably sleep in.”

  She kissed my forehead and held my hand to her chest, over her heart. “I am so glad you’re okay, sweetheart,” she whispered. She kissed me again and left.

  It took all of one minute for Noah to come in after she left. I shifted my body on the bed so he could sit next to me. The nurse came in and adjusted my IV bag, looking at Noah, then me, with eyebrows raised.

  “Please,” I said to her, “let him stay.” She was young. I hoped she would understand.

  The nurse twisted her mouth to ponder that, then nodded shortly. “But no funny business. And first thing in the morning, he goes.”

  I thanked her and she left, closing the door softly behind her.

  I scooted over on the bed, toward the IV stand, so Noah could lie down next to me. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt. The room was darkened, but there was enough light that I could see the broad outline of his shoulders.

  “Nice,” I said.

  “I can’t sleep with a shirt on. It feels like I’m tangled up.”

  I batted my eyes at him. “I hope you can sleep with pants on.”

  He laughed and lay down next to me, kissing the top of my hair. I snuggled up into his arms, against his chest, his body warm in the frigid room. He pulled the blanket over us. It was like none of the events with Bryce had happened. I had my Noah back.

  “Noah,” I said quietly.

  “Yeah?”

  “How do your friends feel about us?” It was something that’d been on my mind since Miller’s visit. We’d always talked about my friends, but I never asked him about his.

  His cheek brushed against my hair. “About how your friends feel, I guess.”

  I sighed. “It’s just Bryce. Syd and Court are fine with us. But what I really want to know is how does Miller feel?”

  He sighed. “I was wondering when you were going to get to that. He told me he came to talk to you.”

  “Yeah. I don’t think it ended up like he planned.” I propped myself on the arm that didn’t have a needle stuck in it. “Why didn’t you tell me what really happened that night? Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t you?”

  “Why should I have to?”

  “Because—because you know I thought you had told on Bryce. This whole time, I thought it was you. Why would you let people think something like that about you?”

  His eyes pinched slightly at the corners. “Maybe I don’t care as much as you do what everyone else thinks. Miller is a sensitive guy who was bullied nonstop in middle school. Do you think I should’ve let him take crap for this? All he was doing was getting back at one of them.”

  I didn’t like the way he said “them.” They were still my friends. “I know you don’t think much of the friends I hang out with. Why would you ever want to go out with me in the first place?”

  He touched my face with his finger, trailing it down to my chin, then down my neck. Electricity shot through my body at his touch. He stopped at the V of my neckline. “I used to think you were like the rest of them, you know. Beautiful, popular, and couldn’t see past your own clique. Plus you were friends with that…with Bryce.”

  “So what changed?”

  “You came to SmartMart.” He smiled at me. “You—perfect, popular, beautiful Lex—I was so sure you wouldn’t last the week.” He chuckled as I poked him in his side. “It’s true. I knew you were forced into the job. We all did, which is probably why Roxanne hated you from day one. But I saw you laughing with Ruthie—not at her—and playing her cart game, which no one ever did. I overheard Bessie telling Mr. Hanson how kind you were, how sweet.” He curled my hair over my ear. “It’s like I needed to see you through their eyes before I could finally see you through mine.”

  “Wow,” I said softly. This guy knew how to talk to a girl for sure. And the best part was that it was one hundred percent genuine Noah. “And here all I was shooting for was that you liked how my butt looked in my awesome SmartMart pants.”

  He laughed so hard at that I thought he was going to fall off the bed. I put my finger over his lips, glancing at the door and hoping the nurse wouldn’t come in to break us apart. He took my finger and kissed it. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

  I stared at him. “You do?”

  “Je t’aime, Lex.”

  He loved me, and the words were like tiny sparks shooting through my body.

  “Je t’aime, Noah. I love you, too.” I told him, the words coming so naturally, I wondered why I didn’t say them to Noah before. Sliding my hand down to his bare chest, I could feel his heartbeat thumping along with the rhythm of mine. Matching heartbeats, just like Gr
andma said.

  “And I loved you long before I found out you didn’t tell on Bryce,” I added. It seemed important to tell him. “What Miller said didn’t change that at all for me.”

  He smiled as he pulled me in for a serious, heart-melting kiss.

  30

  I slept better than I had in a long time in Noah’s arms. We tried to stay up talking but I was exhausted. I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep until the same young nurse came in at the end of her shift to oust Noah from my room. Poor guy barely had time to slip his shirt back on before she was ushering him out. It was only seven a.m., so after she took my vitals, I fell back asleep.

  Before my mother arrived to take me home, I visited Ruthie with the flowers my parents had brought to me. Her mother was in the room. She was all smiles and appreciation for the flowers, for saving Ruthie, for everything. Ruthie was herself, vibrant and chatty as usual. She was thrilled about the hospital food, especially the generic plastic tub of cherry gelatin, so I gave her mine, too.

  “You’re going to work with me at SmartMart again, right, Lexus?” she asked.

  I smiled at her. “I’m sure I will, Ruthie. You’re my cart coaster buddy, right?”

  She grinned at that. Ruthie was okay, and more than okay. She held it together when we were under that table. In so many ways, she was stronger than me. I smiled as she dove into her food. Maybe I could send a basket of real Jell-O to her house later. I knew she’d like that.

  Bessie had more problems than Ruthie and me, which was worse still because of her age. She suffered severe dehydration, two cracked ribs, and a mild concussion, not to mention several scrapes and bruises. She had to stay a few days longer, but she was coherent when I went to her room to visit. My heart hurt to see her looking so wilted and old in the hospital bed. The nurse assured me that she would make a full recovery. Her son and grandson were next to her, both of them profusely thanking me for saving Bessie’s life. I asked them to please stop by Ruthie’s room, too, since she was also responsible for saving Bessie. They promised they would.