Footprints In The Sand

by Michelle Horst

  RIP Ember Banks.

  Hope you find peace, Ember.

  Heaven gained another angel.

  I realize with a sickening feeling which quickly turns to relief that Ember Banks is the girl they found in the woods. It’s not Lacey! And then I feel horrible for feeling relieved. A girl was murdered.

  I close my Facebook page with a pang of disgust. I feel like a caged animal. I wish there was some way I could help Lacey. I hate not knowing if she’s okay or not. I sit staring at the background picture Dad has up on the laptop, not really seeing anything.

  Dad comes in and kicks his shoes off at the door. I notice the chunks of mud. “It’s raining. What were you doing outside?”

  Dad looks at me from across the room and then he wipes tiredly over his face. “I’ve been helping with the searches. Lacey was taken close to the beach, so I thought I’d look there for any clues.”

  “Really? When did they find out that she was taken close to the beach?”

  Dad clears his throat and shrugs off his raincoat. “I can’t remember. Sure I heard it somewhere.”

  “That’s so nice of you, Dad. Tell me when you go again and I’ll go with. I’ll do anything to help.”

  He nods. “Sure.” For a moment he looks a little lost.

  “Everything okay, Dad?” I get up and go to him.

  “Yeah,” he nods quickly, “just worried that there is someone out there taking our children. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”

  I pat him affectionately on his shoulder. “I know how to look after myself, Dad. Besides, this animal is only taking girls. He’s a coward. He’s weak to kill girls. The sicko must be one sadistic fuck.”

  “Seth!” Dad snaps, “Watch your language.” Dad stalks off to his side of the RV.

  “I’m going out with the guys tonight,” I call out before he closes the door behind him.

  ~*~

  We don’t have a car, so I get Marcus to pick me up. His mom is cool about him borrowing it. We stop at Hayden’s house and Marcus shoots him a quick text to let him know we’re here. Seconds later, Hayden comes out and runs across the lawn to where we are. He gets in the car and slams both hands against the headrests. “Bonfire, dudes!”

  “Where?” I ask, glancing out the window. We were going to hit the bowling alley but the rain seems to have stopped. I need to do something to take my mind off Lacey being somewhere out there, just for a moment.

  “The woods. The guys want to scare the girls out of their panties, you know what I mean.” He falls back against the seat as Marcus pulls away.

  “Seriously?” I snap. “The Banks girl was found out there just the other day!”

  “So how cool would it be if we found another. We’d be on the news,” Hayden says all excited.

  I dart over the back of my chair and slap him upside the head. “That’s fucked-up, man! Girls are being murdered! Show some respect!” My heart thumps heavy with anger. Hayden is really starting to work on my nerves. As we get older we have nothing in common anymore. He’s becoming such a dick.

  “Yeah,” Marcus adds, “that shit is sick. I heard the one girl is from our school.”

  I haven’t told either of them about Lacey. I tucked her so far inside myself I’m starting to think I dreamt her to life for that one day.

  By the time we get to the spot, the bonfire is raging high and there is beer everywhere. It’s a bit cold from all the rain, but everyone seems to be having fun. I’m leaning against a tree, talking with Josh. He’s the quarterback for our Football team.

  Suddenly a loud bang echoes through the trees. Everyone stops what they’re doing and stares wide-eyed at each other.

  “What was that?” Becky asks as she slides under Josh’s arm.

  “Most probably a car backfiring,” Josh says, but he takes advantage of Becky’s fear and pulls her closer. “I’ll keep you safe, babe.”

  Another bang echoes through the trees and this time it sounds closer. And then another. “The road’s not that close to us,” Becky whimpers.

  When the next one sounds way too close for comfort, everyone starts to yell and run. A shrill scream freezes the blood in my veins. I’ve never heard a sound like that.

  Another girl screams and then I see why. Someone is staggering towards us. There’s a flash, the loudest bang and then I watch in horror as the person’s body flies forward. It takes a second that feels like forever to realize the person has been shot. Those were shots we were hearing! Fear ripples through my body.

  The person still doesn’t stop, but crawls towards the screaming girls. There is blood everywhere.

  Life returns to my legs and I start to run towards the person. Whoever it is needs help.

  “Call 911!” Josh screams as he follows behind me. I see Marcus coming from the other side of the bonfire. We reach the person at the same time. It’s a girl and she’s naked. Her long hair is sticking to her blood covered skin. I shrug my jacket off and wrap it around her so she’s at least covered.

  “Help,” she whispers in a hoarse voice.

  My eyes dart towards the area she came from, just in time to see someone disappearing behind the trees, but it’s too dark to see who it is.

  ~*~

  Chapter Eleven

  Lacey~

  It’s been so long since Mr. Brody came. I don’t know how much time has passed. After he took Willow he never came back.

  I’m so hungry.

  I’m cold.

  I’m scared to the point that every drop I hear dripping makes me cringe. It’s loud and hurts my ears. Sometimes the dripping is faster than other times. I don’t know where the water is coming from. I just wish it would stop.

  Everything hurts. My stomach, my legs, my arms, my back – everything but my feet and hands – I can’t feel those anymore. The pain was so bad and then it just stopped and went numb.

  I don’t know how long I’ve been curled up in this position, but it hurts more to move than if I just stay still like this.

  I don’t know which is worse; being left here all alone, or whatever happened to Willow.

  ~*~

  Chapter Twelve

  Seth~

  The girl we found in the woods made it. She’s still unconscious and everyone is waiting for her to wake up. She might be able to tell us who took them, and where Lacey is.

  Dad doesn’t come out of his tiny room. He’s writing up a storm. I know better than to try and strike up a conversation with him when he’s writing. Maybe that’s why Mom left, she got tired of sharing Dad with his writing.

  It’s been two weeks since Lacey disappeared.

  Fourteen days.

  There’s a knock at the door. When I open it, I’m surprised to see two policemen. For a sickening moment I think they’re here about Lacey. “Can I help?” I ask.

  “Son, is your dad here?” The one asks.

  I step aside. “Yeah, he’s in the room.”

  They signal something to someone behind them and then I’m yanked from the RV. I watch, confused as they all file into the RV.

  My eyes widen as I watch them drag Dad from the RV. One officer is reading him his rights, while another cuffs him.

  None of this is making any sense! I shove both my hands into my hair. What the hell is happening?

  “I’m not done!” Dad yells as they drag him to a nearby police car. “I still have one part to write! I’m not done yet!”

  What the hell? I don’t understand any of this. What did Dad do? Why would they arrest him?

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lacey~

  Every drop hurts. The deafening sound hurts my ears, my head, my whole body. It feels like someone is banging against my skull.

  It feels like forever since I saw the sun, since I ate something.

  I know he’s not coming back. No one will ever know what happened to me. I’ll just die here … all alone in this dark grave.

  I hear a thundering sound and when I cringe, I moan in pain. S
uddenly light glares angrily over me, and I squeeze my burning eyes closed.

  I can’t make out what the sounds are or where the light is coming from. Then something touches me and I scream. I scream as loud as I can, but no sound comes out.

  ~*~

  Chapter Fourteen

  Seth~

  They found her. They found Lacey!

  Dad’s been charged with murder, attempted murder, kidnapping and a long list of other stuff.

  My own dad is the monster everyone’s been so afraid of. How did I not see it? There were so many clues. The constant walks to think about the plot he was writing. The sand on his shoes! The weird hours he went for those walks!

  He says he did it for the books. He needed material and practiced on the girls. The last best seller he had has been taken down. That book is about how he killed Mom.

  She never left us. He killed her and I never knew.

  I’m fucking stupid.

  I could have stopped it all. Why? Why didn’t I see it?

  ~*~

  It’s been a week since Lacey’s been found. Only family is allowed to see her. Not that I tried. I’m scared her family will freak out. I knew Lacey for one day and then Dad tried to kill her! I don’t think they’d be happy to see me.

  Aunt Janice came to stay with me. She’s selling the RV and found a nice house on the other side of town. I’ll be closer to school, walking distance. Not that it matters. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when I get back to school. I was always popular, and now I’ll be known as the son of a murderer.

  My whole world’s been tainted black by what Dad did. I haven’t been to see him. I’m not sure I ever want to see him again. I want to put as much distance between myself and what he did. I want to be my own person again.

  I want the town to stop looking at me as if I was the one that kidnapped the girls and killed them. There are some that look at me with pity. That sucks just as much.

  I just want to be Seth again.

  ~*~

  School’s starting next week. Aunt Janice has been helping me to change my last name to Mom’s maiden name. I’ll be Seth Harper soon, just a few more days they said. She’s also taking care of all Mom’s stuff. I don’t care about the inheritance she left me. I only care that I failed her. I’m nothing more than a failure.

  We’re moving to the new house today. I’m so grateful for Aunt Janice. She’s not pushing me to move on, to get over what Dad did and what happened to Mom. Aunt Janice understands me. We both grieve for Mom in our own way.

  We look so much alike, Aunt Janice could pass as my mother. We have the same light brown hair and blue eyes. I’m especially thankful that I look nothing like Dad, and everything like Mom’s side of the family.

  “You ready? Will you grab that last box and help them load?” Aunt Janice asks. We’re giving everything of Dad’s that the police didn’t take to goodwill. I want nothing. The few things I have of Mom are going with us.

  “Sure,” I mutter. I take the box to the truck and throw it on. Every day I feel something different. It ranges from hating Dad, to being angry, to feeling disgusted that he’s my father.

  Aunt Janice mentioned that I should see someone. I didn’t even answer her. No one can help me.

  What’s done is done and I’ll have to pay for Dad’s sins. I hate him for what he did, for destroying our lives!

  ~*~

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lacey~

  I’m finally getting to go home. Mom and Dad both took the day off so they could come get me. I make sure everything is packed and sit on the corner of the bed. It’s high, so my feet barely touch the floor. I swing my legs, seeking some comfort from the swaying motion. I’m so sick of the sterile smell and bright lights. They do nothing to lighten the darkness surrounding me.

  I used to be a peaceful person, always content with my life. I wanted to go to college and study something that would make a difference to the world. I had plans. I had dreams.

  Now I can’t remember any of those plans. There’s nothing but the darkness. It followed me from that dark hole he kept me in. Even when the light is on, it’s still dark. Every sound makes me jump.

  “You ready to go?” Dad suddenly asks. I let out a shriek and jump off the bed, ready to run. I didn’t hear them come in. Dad rushes to where I’m standing and folds me in the safety of his arms. “Sorry, Honey. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” I burrow deep into his chest. It’s the only place I feel safe, in Dad’s arms.

  Mom takes my bag and Dad keeps his arm around me as we walk out. I move his jacket away and cuddle in under it. Because Dad has both arms around me, we walk slowly. We greet everyone and I avoid the sympathetic looks aimed at me.

  Before the kidnapping I was invisible. Now everyone sees me.

  I wish I could be invisible again.

  ~*~

  I can’t sleep. I’ve tried it with the light on and off, neither works. I take my pillow and sneak into Mom and Dad’s room. It’s my first night back and every sound in and around the RV is an assault on my ears. I watch my parents sleeping forms, while hugging my pillow tightly.

  “What’s wrong?” Mom whispers.

  Dad sits up as I walk closer to the bed. “I can’t sleep.” I swallow hard and then admit, “I’m scared.”

  Dad scoots to the side, making a space between himself and Mom. “Come on.” I crawl onto the bed and under the blanket. Mom and Dad both put their arms around me, cocooning me in their warmth and love.

  ~*~

  So much has changed. I miss how things used to be. I miss feeling normal and not being afraid of everything. I miss being happy. I miss wanting to go to school. I miss being a normal seventeen year old with normal problems.

  I drag myself out of bed. I have to go to school. It’s my senior year. It’s supposed to be one of the best years of my life. I’m supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life.

  I shower and just leave my hair hanging. I don’t tie it back anymore. I let it hang in my face, so it acts as a curtain between me and life outside the RV. If I can’t see people, they can’t see me.

  I’ve left home once since I got out of hospital and that was only because Mom begged me to go to the diner with her. She figured it would be good for me. I noticed a new RV parked where Seth’s used to be. For a fleeting moment I wonder what happened to him, but I quickly ban any thoughts of Seth from my mind. Thinking of Seth leads to thinking of Mr. Brody, and I’m not ready for that.

  Going to the diner wasn’t good for me. Everyone stared. Everyone was sickly nice to me.

  I hope everyone goes back to ignoring me, especially at school. I don’t know what I’ll do if the kids stare at me, or worse, try to talk to me. At least I’ll have Natalie at school. She came to visit once, it didn’t go that well. I hope she can be patient with me.

  Dad offered to take me to school but I told him I’d be fine. I’m regretting it as I open the door. I want to slam the door shut and hide under the covers in my parents’ bed.

  I take a deep breath, duck my head so my hair falls over my face, and take a step forward. I’m doing this alone. I’m doing this for me. I can’t hide forever. I have to show everyone that I’m fine so they’ll move on, and everything can go back to the way it was.

  My eyes start to lift and I catch myself just in time – I almost looked for Seth. I shake my head and ban him from my thoughts. I can’t risk thinking about him or Mr. Brody. It sends me into a state of panic.

  I walk towards the bus stop, but as I get closer my chest tightens. It’s all too familiar – me getting here first to wait for Seth.

  It feels as if someone is watching my every move. I don’t feel safe! I start to run, not being able to wait for the bus. I run as fast as I can, my hair whipping wildly in my face. I’m unfit and soon get a pain in my side, my breaths burning a path of fire up my throat. But I don’t stop, I run until I see the school building. I stop and suck in desperate breaths of air, trying to calm myself before I wa
lk through the gates. I shove a pair of glasses onto my face, just another thing I can hide behind.

  I cross the parking area and a loud noise startles me. I stand frozen to the spot, right in front of a car. The person presses the horn again, the sound is deafening and I cover my ears as my heart starts to beat rapidly.

  Someone grabs hold of my arm and pulls me to the side so the car can pass. My breaths are racing, making a whooshing sound in my ears. I’m not even in class yet and I feel totally overwhelmed!

  “Hey, it’s okay.” I’m relieved to see Natalie. The familiar sight of her is comforting. Her blonde hair hangs neatly over her shoulders. Her grey eyes filled with worry. She’s a few inches taller than me, but skinny as hell. The longer I stare at her, the weirder things become. I can feel how things are changing between us as every second ticks by, and I hate it! I hate that Mr. Brody took everything from me, even my best friend!

  “I’m fine.” I’m lying. Sweat is beading on the back of my neck. I reach up to gather my hair, but stop when I realize people will be able to see me then. I slump my shoulders and cross my arms over my chest, trying to make myself smaller. “I’m fine,” I whisper again and then walk fast towards the main building.

  ~*~

  I take the seat closest to the door. I sit flush with the wall, needing to feel something solid. The class fills and the steady hum of voices grates against my ears. I fold my arms around my body and try to make myself as small as possible in the chair.

  I don’t look around to see who’s in class with me. My eyes are glued to the floor just on the other side of the door. When the teacher comes in and closes the door, panic squeezes my chest. I don’t want to be closed in. I wish I could open the door! All the noise in the class fades to the background, and my eyes start to water from staring at the door for so long.

  A hand settles on my shoulder and I jump up with a shriek. There’s a man in front of me. I don’t recognize him and it sends my heart into a frantic race. I don’t think and just react. I shove him hard and when he stumbles backwards, I run. My feet slap loudly against the tiles. My breaths are desperate gasps, tearing through my throat. It feels as if a terrifying darkness is closing in on me.