Footprints In The Sand

by Michelle Horst

  I feel a flush of confusion and then quickly answer, “This is he.”

  “A Janice Harper has you listed as next of kin…” there’s another moments silence and I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. “I’m afraid it’s bad news, Sir. She was involved in an accident, a hit and run.” The voice pauses again and the seconds that pass kills me. “She didn’t make it.”

  ~*~

  After the call I can’t find any strength to move. I sit on the couch right through the night, staring off into blank space. When the sun starts to peek over the horizon, I get up and leave the house. At first I walk but then I break out into a run. I don’t stop until I reach the water’s edge. The waves roll in and out, over my feet, dragging me into the ocean with each wave that crashes on the beach. When I’m knee deep in the water, I break down.

  I didn’t cry when Dad did all those horrible things. I didn’t even cry for Mom. In the back of my mind I didn’t let myself feel all that pain, because I still had Aunt Janice. She was my link to Mom, and now they’re both gone.

  I just saw Aunt Janice! How can she just be gone like that?

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Lacey~

  It’s getting late and Jan is still not home. Sometimes she works late, but never on a Saturday. She knows we all go out for drinks.

  There’s a knock at the door and when I open there are three smiling faces staring at me.

  Kelly is the first to frown. “You’re not dressed?”

  My shoulders slump under the worry I feel for Jan. “Jan’s not home yet. I’d rather wait for her and then we’ll meet you there?”

  Gemma grins wide, “Great. You know which club, right?”

  I nod. “We’ll be there as soon as she gets home,” I say again.

  The night crawls by and my dread grows with each hour that passes. I’ve tried Jan’s phone a zillion times, but it keeps going to voicemail. I don’t know who else to phone! I fall asleep curled up on the couch and wake up well before dawn. There’s a cooking show on the TV and just the sight of food brings tears to my eyes. Jan loves to watch the food network.

  I try her phone again but there’s still no answer. I have an awful feeling as I make some coffee. I drink it standing in the kitchen and then get ready for work. As I walk to the café a million thoughts race through my mind. I’m so worried for Jan!

  I open the café and go about my usual routine. At six I open for customers. Jan changed the opening time from nine to six in the morning. We were missing the morning rush and after a few requests she relented.

  I get swept up in the rush as one customer after the other comes in. Just before lunch, Amo comes in. She started working here a year after me. She helps out during the week with the lunch rush and over weekends.

  “Hallo, lovely.” Her smile falters when she sees my face. A worried look crosses her face, “What’s wrong?”

  I slump down in of the chairs. “It’s Jan, she never came home yesterday and I keep leaving voice messages, but she doesn’t return any of my calls.”

  Amo takes a seat across from me. “That’s weird. We closed up and went home. Your apartment is right around the corner. Doesn’t she have any family or friends you can call?”

  “Not that I know of,” I sigh. “She never talked about any family and we have all the same friends.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine.” Amo pats my hand. She gets up and places her bag behind the counter. “Are you going to bake?”

  “Yeah, we need to stock up on the caramel cookies, they go so fast. I’ll be in the back. Call me if you need me.”

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Seth~

  I spent the whole day at the beach. There’s a hole where my heart used to be. I don’t have anything left for this world to take from me.

  I let autopilot take over. There is no one to phone. She was the last of my family.

  When I get home, I make a list of things to do. I’ll have to go by her apartment. Someone will need to pack her stuff. I glance at the clock and see that it’s already after midnight. I have an urgent need to be between Aunt Janice’s things. I grab my keys and I can’t get out of the house fast enough. I make it to Aunt Janice’s apartment in thirty minutes.

  When I get to the door, I realize I don’t have keys to let myself in. I rest my head against the door, an overwhelming sorrow sweeping through me. I stand like that for a while before I remember the roof garden Aunt Janice has. I walk around the building and pull the stairs down. When I reach the top, I suck in a breath. It’s so beautiful up here. Aunt Janice must have left the lights on, not that I mind, it’s a stunning sight. I go to sit on one of the benches and lean back, just looking up at the stars.

  I close my eyes and allow the sorrow to wash over me.

  I hear someone come up the stairs and keep still, hoping whoever it is will just go away. I need this time alone before I have to arrange a funeral for the last person I loved.

  At first I see a shadow, but when the person steps into the light, my heart stops. I blink a couple of times, thinking that I’m losing my mind.

  She walks to the middle of the lawn before she looks up. It’s the most breathtaking sight I have ever seen. “Lacey,” I whisper her name, not wanting her to disappear.

  Her head snaps down and she takes a step back. “Who’s there?” She keeps retreating and I get up quickly to stop her. I move from the shadows and watch as fear flashes over her face. She turns to run and I panic. I dart forward and quickly catch up with her. I grab hold of her arm, holding her back.

  “Lacey! It’s me, Seth!”

  She swings back, shock quickly replacing the fear. Her mouth drops open and then confusion blooms in her eyes. “What are you doing here?” she asks, obviously stunned by seeing me.

  “I could ask you the same thing!” I snap before I can stop myself. Anger replaces the hollow feeling in my chest. “What the hell, Lacey? What are you doing here?”

  I can’t believe I finally found her! I take in her shorts and t-shirt and I can’t help but admire her body. She’s become a beautiful woman.

  She makes a choking sound and bewilderment darkens her eyes. “What are you talking about? I live here!”

  She catches me off guard and I let go of her. “You live here? Where?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business,” she snaps, “but I live with my friend, Jan.” A miserable look crosses her face.

  “Jan?” The realization strikes like a lightning bolt. “Janice? You live with my Aunt Janice?”

  Shock registers on her face. “She’s your aunt?”

  “It was you Saturday morning, with the blue face and towel thingy?”

  A flash of anger flits across her face. “You scared the shit out of me!” She slaps me on the shoulder, not packing much of a punch.

  And then I remember and sorrow digs into my gut. “She’s gone, Lacey.”

  Lacey looks up at me and blinks once. “Who?”

  “My aunt died yesterday. I’m here to sort all her affairs out.”

  “What?” She shakes her head in disbelief. “No, no, she just went to work.” She lifts her hand to her mouth and drops it again. She looks up to me and I can see her world shattering in her eyes, just like mine did. “She’s gone?” she whispers.

  I can’t hold back and taking hold of her shoulders, I pull her to my chest. I wrap my arms around her. I can’t offer her any strength, because I have nothing left. All I can do is hold her.

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Lacey~

  There’s still no word from Jan as I walk over to number eight. I knock and wait for the girls to open up.

  Gemma opens the door with a glass of wine in her hand. “You joining us for dinner? Fede made her famous pizza,” she asks, stepping aside to let me in.

  I shake my head. “No, but thanks. I was wondering if any of you have seen Jan, or heard from her?”

  “She’s still not back? I haven’t seen
her, but let me ask the girls.” She goes back into the apartment, leaving the door open. “Kelly, Fede,” Gemma calls out, “any of you seen Jan.”

  “Nope,” Fede calls back. “Kelly is in the shower, she can’t hear you.”

  I take a step into their apartment. It has the same layout as ours, only theirs is a total mess. You can see there are three women living here. Clothes, shoes, handbags, there is stuff scattered everywhere.

  Gemma comes back shaking her head. “Kelly says no. Have you tried her phone again?”

  I give Gemma a weak smile. “I have. I’m sure she just got stuck somewhere. You know me, I worry about everything,” I try to laugh the icy fingers of worry away.

  I go back to our apartment and lock the door behind me. I stand in the middle of the apartment for hours, trying to think of some way to find Jan. I lose track of the hours and it starts to feel as if the walls are closing in on me. I run to my room and climb out the window. I climb the stairs and once I feel the grass beneath my feet, I look up and breathe.

  “Lacey,” I hear my name and it sounds so familiar.

  Shivers race down my spine. “Who’s there?” I call out, not believing my ears.

  A man steps out from the shadows and the same horrible fear I felt on the day before, sinks heavy into my bones. I turn to run but he’s so fast. He grabs me and I’m about to fight back when his voice registers, “Lacey! It’s me, Seth!”

  I turn back, shock quickly replacing the icy fear. I can’t believe my eyes! He’s gotten so big! I used to reach his shoulder easily, now I doubt that I’d reach his chest. His hair is a bit darker, but then I look into his eyes, eyes I’d recognize anywhere.

  “What are you doing here?” I wheeze out the words. I can’t believe he’s standing in front of me after all these years.

  “I could ask you the same thing!” he snaps. I’m confused when I see his anger. Why would he be angry with me? “What the hell, Lacey? What are you doing here?”

  The words get stuck in my throat before they spill over my lips. “What are you talking about? I live here!”

  He takes a step back, putting space between us. “You live here? Where?”

  I’m starting to get really irritated with this interrogation. “Not that it’s any of your business,” I snap, “but I live with my friend, Jan.” Just saying her name reminds me that Jan is still not home and that sinking feeling returns.

  “Jan?” There’s a look of understanding on his face. “Janice? You live with my Aunt Janice?”

  Wait? What? Jan is his aunt? How did I not know this? “She’s your aunt?” I ask just to make sure I heard right.

  “It was you Saturday morning, with the blue face and towel thingy?”

  It takes a second for his words to sink in, and then a slow anger builds up in me. “You scared the shit out of me!” I slap his shoulder, but I only manage to hurt my hand that’s still tender from the cut.

  “She’s gone, Lacey.”

  I hear the words but they don’t make sense. “Who?”

  “My aunt died yesterday. I’m here to sort all her affairs out.”

  “What?” The word escapes on a gasp. I didn’t just hear that! It can’t be true! “No, no, she just went to work.” I can see the truth on his face and it stops my heart. “She’s gone?” I whisper more for myself. She was my person, the one I could count on. Without her I have nothing. She was my whole life!

  I’m caught in a whirlwind of pain. I feel arms go around me and my cheek gets pressed against a hard chest. I take the comfort he is offering and wrap my arms around his waist. Together we stand comforting each other.

  ~*~

  When I wake up the realization is a bitter pill to swallow. Jan is gone, just like that. She’s been ripped from my life.

  My mind starts to race with things that have to get done. I get up, wanting to keep busy. If I stay busy the pain won’t be as bad.

  Seth stayed on the couch last night. I make a fresh pot of coffee and peek into the living room. He’s sitting with his elbows resting on his thighs. I can’t believe he’s here.

  I clear my throat. “I’m making coffee,” the words come out barely a whisper, but he hears me.

  His head snaps up and when I see the tears, what little I have left of my heart shatters. I rush to him. I fall to my knees in front of him and I wrap my arms around him. After all these years I still have feelings for him and I can’t stand to see him in pain.

  His hands grab at my shoulders and he pulls me to him. He holds me tightly and presses his face into my neck. I feel his tears warm on my skin and it makes my eyes burn with my own tears.

  We sit like that for a while, again comforting each other.

  Seth pulls away first. I get to my feet and go to pour us some coffee so he’ll have a moment to gather himself.

  Seth is also the first one to break the silence. “I’m going to arrange for the funeral today.” His voice is hoarse with pain and it chips away at my soul.

  I nod and swallow back the tears. “Okay. I’ll put up a note at the café. Would you like to have the people go there after the service? I could make some eats and ask Amo to come help out.”

  “Yeah, I think that would be best.” He walks by me and heads for Jan’s room.

  I stand lost for a moment before I grab my bag and leave. It feels as if something is chasing me as I run from the apartment.

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Seth~

  It’s three days after the funeral and I still can’t believe Aunt Janice is gone. I went back to the house right after it was over. I didn’t even say bye to Lacey, not like she’d miss me.

  I just met with the lawyer. As Aunt Janice’s last living relative I get everything, except the café and apartment. Lacey got half of the café and half of the apartment. I don’t know why Aunt Janice gave me the other half. She should’ve given both places to Lacey.

  Lacey wasn’t at the meeting with the lawyers. I don’t know why. Maybe she felt it wasn’t important enough to be there. She didn’t even cry at the funeral.

  I turn the car around and speed back to the city. With every mile the tires race over, my anger grows.

  I hardly have the car in park when I jump out and run into the building. The door to the apartment is wide open and I storm in. I slam into a red head and the box she’s carrying crashes to the floor.

  “Hey!” she snaps at me. “People are walking here!” She drops to the floor and starts to gather clothes.

  “Who are you?” I say, my voice way too harsh.

  “I’m none of your business,” she snaps back and continues to throw the clothes in the box.

  She picks the box up again and shoves me aside. I spare her another look before I go inside. I can’t find Lacey, and it only makes my anger grow. On my way out I bump into another woman. Where do they all come from?

  She glares at me, too, and then shoves by me to get into the apartment. I grab hold of her arm. “Where’s Lacey?”

  She yanks her arm free from my grasp and her glare only gets darker. “At the café, closing up,” she spits at me.

  I’m so freaking confused with these women’s attitude! I walk the short distance to the café and when I get there Lacey is standing outside, one of her hands pressed flat against the door.

  “There you are!” I’ve forgotten why I’m angry with her. She turns and holds out a set of keys to me. I frown and take them. “What’s this?”

  Her eyes meet mine and that’s when I see how red and swollen they are. She’s been crying. I feel a twinge of regret that I was angry with her.

  “It’s the keys to the café and apartment. All my stuff will be out by tonight.” She turns back to the café and her eyes well with tears.

  “You’re crying because of a café and apartment?” I ask. I can’t believe she’s so shallow! The Lacey I remember didn’t care about things. It just shows that I never knew her to begin with.

  She takes a step away from the café. She shakes
her head and whispers, “You’ve become a hard man, Seth.” It looks like she’s going to leave it at that but then she adds, “It’s good actually. Life can’t hurt you then.”

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Lacey~

  It’s been a week. It feels as if my whole life ended a week ago. I miss Jan so much! She was my first real friend. She was more than that to me. Oh my heart, I miss her! I miss our apartment. I miss the café and smelling the eats she made every day.

  I spend my days sleeping and my nights on the roof. Gemma, Kelly and Fede are awesome to let me stay with them until I can find another place. They are all so sweet and protective of me. They try to cheer me up constantly. I’m so thankful for them. I will miss this place so much. I have some money saved up, but it won’t last. I need to find another job, and soon.

  ~*~

  The next morning I climb down the stairs just after sunrise. I stop at the window that looks into my old bedroom. I can’t recognize it anymore. The room is filled with boxes. Movement catches my eye and I see the bathroom door opening. I want to force myself to look away, but then I see Seth … in only a towel.

  “Oh wow,” I whisper. He has really grown from when I last saw him without a shirt. Golden skin covers a muscled chest and I can’t stop myself from watching the water trickle down those muscles. “Lucky drops.”

  My foot slips and the movement of my body jerking catches Seth’s attention. Our eyes lock and my face flushes with the embarrassment of being caught. I race down the stairs and run around the front of the building. The door to number five opens. I slow down to a speed walk, praying that it’s not Seth coming out.

  “Lacey? I thought that was you I saw,” Seth calls out.

  “Just great!” I whisper under my breath before I force a smile to my face and look up. “Ahh … yeah, I was up of the roof.”

  He looks at his watch. “This early?”

  I shrug, not knowing how to answer that.

  Seth steps forward and of course he’s still in only a towel. “Do you still live in the building? I was hoping we could talk.”