Footprints In The Sand

by Michelle Horst

  The second jump goes better, I don’t miss the building entirely, but Chance still has to help me up. I also manage to not grab hold of him like a scared wimp. I consider that a good thing. I don’t want him to see me as a nuisance.

  By the fourth jump I think I’m getting the hang of how I should stretch my body and hold my arms. The landing part not so much. My hands are chafed, and I’m sure my right knee is bleeding from banging it into the rooftop with the last jump. Although the men say nothing, I feel proud of myself. I know that’s wrong, to feel proud, it’s a vice but I can’t help it.

  “We have to jump into that building,” Chance says, pointing downward, slightly to the right.

  My pride disappears when I see the hole he is pointing at. It’s big, but even when I turn my head sideways I can’t see a way for me to make the jump.

  I scan the building for another way. I could jump to the rooftop and climb down. I could try and manage that. I’ll just have to do it that way.

  “I know I won’t make the jump. I’m going to jump to the roof and climb down.” I’m surprised at how steady my voice sounds. Last night I was staring at my glofish and now I’m jumping buildings. It all feels so surreal.

  We go in the same order, Chance, and then Aaron. Aaron almost doesn’t make it and I hold my breath as Chance grabs his shirt and yanks him forward. Ethan takes a deep breath and sprints. I hold mine until he lands and rolls into the hole. No one is on the roof to catch me or help me this time.

  I walk back further than the previous times, to get a better start. For a second I close my eyes and breathe in and out. It can’t be worse than the first jump. I sprint and launch myself off the roof. My heart beats the seconds until I slam down on the other rooftop, hard and shoulder first. I did it, how doesn’t matter right now. It just matters that I did it. Heat rushes through my body, setting every nerve alive. I’ve done it on my own.

  I move to the edge of the roof and look down. It’s really high and my sight warps. For a moment it feels as if the building is swaying and it makes my insides feel like jello.

  “Jasper, lower yourself.” Chance calls me back to my present predicament.

  The distance to the hole is too far for me to just hang myself down and swing into it.

  “Jai,” he says in a much softer tone. I see Chance hanging out of the hole, like he did when he was hanging from the ladder, only holding on by his right arm. What does one have to do to become so courageous and so strong? “Just lower yourself. Trust me. I will catch you.”

  No one has ever asked me to trust them before. I can’t see his eyes. My dad said you can see a person’s integrity in their eyes.

  I roll onto my stomach and maneuver myself over inch by inch, until I’m hanging on by my elbows. My weight is pulling me down and the bones of my elbows dig into the concrete. My feet are desperately looking for a foothold, but the building doesn’t have any. It’s cold against the bare skin of my stomach as my shirt has inched up from sliding over the edge.

  “Trust me and let go. I’ll catch you, Jai.” His voice is kind, really kind for the first time.

  He helped me up a ladder. He pulled me up the first building. He won’t let me fall now, not after all that trouble. I want to see his eyes and know he means it. I glance up and see thousands of lights I didn’t notice before. How could I have not? They shimmer and wink at me. The moment is dreamlike. I’ve never seen something so beautiful and I let go.

  The building scrapes against my hands, arms and stomach as I fall. An arm wraps around my hips, and I feel hot breath spread over my stomach. Then I’m yanked forward and my head slams hard into something. My visions blur and the lights in the sky disappear.

  This time I don’t care about embarrassing myself. As Chance starts to lower me I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him. He is the first man I’m hugging. I’ll always remember this moment.

  “Thank you. Thank you for catching me,” I whisper near tears and still breathless from the fear of falling to my death.

  I should be straightening out my shirt and not clinging to him, but I can’t help myself. It must be from all the tension, or the last bit of sense I had was knocked out when I bumped my head. Yes, that must be it.

  Chance’s hands brush over the exposed skin of my waist, to my back, and he holds me lightly. To my surprise he hugs me back.

  “It’s nothing. We have to move,” he whispers.

  His hands inch up and my heart starts to race as he takes hold of my shirt, and then he tugs it down, straightening it out. I let go of him, looking at my feet so I won’t have to look at him. I feel embarrassed for hugging him. I’ve never done something like that before. It’s an indecent thing to do. It’s not the Virtuous way.

  “I saw lights,” I blurt out, to cover my embarrassment.

  “They’re called stars. You never saw them because of the dome. There’s a lot you’ll still learn on this side,” he says.

  He walks away as if I didn’t just hug him. I hugged him and it means nothing to him! My cheeks flame up and I feel humiliation wash over me. Things like hugs and stars mean nothing to him.

  “Stars.” I test the word on my tongue. It feels foreign but the name suits them. There are thousands of lights flickering out there and I never knew about them before tonight. What else don’t I know about? Stars, they are beautiful. There is something beautiful out here where everything is so hard. Will I make it long enough to find out what else has been kept from me, and to find Mom?

  ~*~

  “Come on, let’s go.” Chance growls from a doorway. I can only see his shadow as he disappears down a dark flight of stairs. I can still feel the ghost of his breath on my stomach and pull at the hem of my shirt.

  I end up between Aaron and Ethan as we take the stairs down. It’s dark and I can barely see my hand in front of me. I keep close to the wall, feeling each step jolt all the way to my teeth. I wish there were some light. I’m constantly conscious of not walking into Ethan, but then I don’t want to go too slow, scared Aaron will walk into me.

  It doesn’t help, because when Ethan suddenly stops, I slam into his back. He takes hold of my arm and slides his hand down, feeling for my hand, pulling me closer. An awkward feeling spreads up my arm at his soft touch.

  “We have to wait for Chance to come back,” he whispers. The fact that Ethan feels that he needs to whisper sends a chill down my spine. Aaron is close to my left, and I stand crammed between the two men who saved my life today.

  “Thank you, guys.” I feel a need to show my appreciation in some way while we wait. “For doing what you did back there. You could have left me to be-” I let my sentence hang, unable to finish it.

  “Don’t mention it. Your dad asked us to help break you out and now he’ll help us.” The word ‘break’ sticks to me like the word ‘dead’ did.

  “My dad arranged for all of this?” My throat feels even drier now.

  “The way we see it, it’s a win-win situation. He has been helping us and with us getting you out, he’ll continue to help.”

  “Get me out?” I squeak. Now is not the time to squeak!

  “This way. Quick,” Chance barks the orders at us.

  Ethan lets go of my hand and darts forward. I have no choice but to follow. All my questions will have to wait. At the entrance of the building we all duck down and follow Chance out, keeping to the dark shadows against the walls.

  I want to know why Dad wanted me out but for now I have to wait. I have to believe it’s because Dad wanted me to find Mom, but then why didn’t he tell me anything before? Why didn’t he trust me?

  We reach an intersection and Chance indicates for us to stop. “See that flickering light over there?” he whispers.

  For a moment I have to focus on where we are and what we’re doing. I see the light he’s pointing at, further down the street. On the opposite side of the street a department store’s window is gone, and there are people standing around a fire, their shadows cast wide against the walls.
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  “Trackers,” he whispers.

  The hair on my body rises at hearing the word. A weird numbness spreads over my tongue and through my throat. All I can see of them are their huge dancing shadows.

  “There’s no other way?” The panic is back in Ethan’s voice, and this time I feel it in more than just my stomach. My body is tense to the point where my muscles start to tremble and ache.

  “The subway track is two buildings down, just two. We can sprint it.” I want to scream at Chance that I’m not that fast but my jaws are clenched shut with fear.

  My hands are fisted against my legs and I only realize how tightly I’m holding them when Chance reaches back for me, pulling me to the front. I unclench my fingers as he takes hold of my hand, lacing our fingers. I glance down at our hands, and I feel him squeeze my hand lightly. When I look up again his face is set in a scowl, his eyes locked on the Trackers across the street.

  “We have the upper hand. They don’t know we’re here. Let your fear drive you. Don’t panic. If you panic, you are dead. I won’t stop for you. I can’t come back for you.” His words are clipped.

  I swallow; it’s all I can do. I’m too scared to do anything else.

  “On three we run. One,” I feel his voice vibrating deep in my chest, “two,” my eyes zoom in on only Chance, “three.” I thrust myself forward as if I am launching myself off a rooftop.

  I keep up with Chance until something pings to the side of us in the street. It sends shards of concrete up. Chance’s fingers wrap tighter around mine, and he yanks me forward. I thought I was scared before, but when there is another ping somewhere behind me, terror explodes in my chest, closing it right up.

  In class they told us to control our breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Whoever thought that one up never had to run for their lives. There’s only gasping, panting and wheezing, there’s no such thing as breathing through your nose.

  We pass the first building and I realize the Trackers must’ve spotted us. It’s with the third ping nearby that the dreadful realization strike - they are shooting at us. I know very little about guns, only what I’ve learned in first aid and what damage they can do to the human body.

  I hear the crack echo, and there’s another ping slightly to the left of me. Shards of concrete splinter everywhere, and one hits my leg. I shriek and duck closer to Chance, pumping my legs harder to keep up with him.

  “In here!” It’s a breathless order from Chance, one that comes too late.

  To be continued…