Vengeance 02.5 - A Knight's Christmas Wish
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She swallowed hard to keep the bile down. “I fear you may have misunderstood. While you have been very…kind, I will not marry you.”
His eyes narrowed as temper flushed his face. “You should rethink your options. I don’t believe returning to your father is one of them.”
Kayte drew a sharp breath. He was right. How many nights had she lain awake in the early days of her marriage, wishing she might return home? Yet she knew all too well her father would never allow that.
She must tread lightly here. If she made her disgust for Harold known, he might force her to marry him immediately.
Her fate lay in Rylan’s hands. She could only pray that he would agree to take her and Anne to the convent.
* * *
Rylan rose, placing a hand on the edge of the bed as the room spun. His side hurt like hell. He cursed how feeble he felt. But each day here was one wasted. He could be one day closer to home, yet here he was as weak as a babe.
“How do you feel, sir?” Joseph asked from his stool by the fire.
“I have felt better.”
“Mayhap we should remain here for a time.”
Rylan shook his head. “I would rather not.”
“Lady Kayte is very kind. She has come to check on you often.”
He remembered some of her visits. Her sweet lavender scent had enclosed him like a warm embrace. Her gentle touch, her soft voice reassuring him, had seemed to ease the pain in addition to the medicine she’d provided. He owed her his gratitude. Almost immediately, the memory of her requesting his escort returned. Though he had no desire to travel as far as the convent, which would take him at least two days out of his way, he wasn’t certain he had a choice.
Saying no to the lady would be difficult even if he wasn’t in her debt. Beauty and sweetness radiated from her face. How could anyone tell her no? Yet he didn’t feel well enough to take care of himself, let alone someone else. He couldn’t offer her his protection for the journey if he couldn’t adequately provide it.
Rylan pushed away his thoughts. No decision needed to be made now. His first priority was recovering. Drawing a slow breath so as not to disturb his ribs, he walked to the pot in the corner to relieve himself.
“Shall I fetch some food for you?” Joseph asked.
“Aye. Preferably not soup.” He rubbed a hand over his stomach, which grumbled at the idea of food.
Joseph hurried out the door, leaving Rylan alone. After walking back and forth across the chamber several times with the hope of regaining some of his strength, he returned to the bed. Hopefully a meal would help as well. He despised being ill and weak. He sat up in the bed, hoping Joseph would return soon with food. Already he was weary and ready to sleep again.
Joseph returned quickly with a trencher of roasted meat and onions and a flagon of ale. “Lady Kayte says we’ve only to let her know if you need anything more.”
The meal smelled heavenly. He ate quickly, washed down the delicious meal with ale and immediately felt better. Even so, his eyes drooped as Joseph filled him in on what he’d learned about the keep and its people.
It seemed Lady Kayte was adored by the servants and kind to all. That did not surprise Rylan in the least. Rainald was not missed overmuch as he had been a harsh lord. Again, this was no surprise to Rylan. Harold was despised. He drank far too much and had a heavy, brutal hand. He was not as smart as his older brother had been. According to what Joseph had learned, the servants worried for Lady Kayte’s welfare now that Harold no longer had to fear the wrath of his brother. Many guessed Harold would take her for his own, whether she was willing or not.
Rylan shook his head as he settled back amidst the pillows to rest. It looked as if he’d be escorting Kayte to the convent after all. How could he possibly leave her to Harold’s mercy?
* * *
Kayte knocked on Rylan’s chamber door once again, hoping he’d be awake and able speak to her. After her conversation with Harold, she knew the time had come to plan her departure.
With or without Rylan’s escort, she and Anne would be leaving within the coming days. The idea of braving the cold as well as the danger they might encounter along the road frightened her. But that fear was nothing compared to the notion of being Harold’s wife and sharing his bed, which made her sick to her stomach. The two times she’d lain with Rainald had been embarrassing and uncomfortable. According to her deceased husband, she had been the reason he’d been unable to perform properly. He’d told her that her lack of beauty had prevented his male member from rising to the occasion.
Though she continued to tell herself she didn’t care what Rainald thought of her, the idea of being so unattractive that he hadn’t been able to carry out the most basic act between a husband and wife left her despondent.
Between her father’s low opinion of her and Rainald’s disgust, the convent was surely the best choice for her future. If only her heart told her that as well.
“Enter.”
She eased open the door, uncertain who had responded to her knock. Her gaze shifted around the room to the bed where Rylan was propped against the bolster. The bedding covered his lower half, but his broad shoulders and sculpted chest were in full view. Her heart sped at the sight.
“You’re sitting up. Does that mean you’re feeling better?” she asked as she moved toward the side of the bed.
“I believe so.”
“Excellent. Shall I check the wound? I brought some more herbs to make another poultice.” She paused beside the bed. Somehow having him sitting up made it much more intimidating to examine his injury.
“Please.” He lifted his arm to allow her better access to the bandage.
She struggled with the knot she’d put in the linen to keep it secure and finally withdrew her knife from the leather girdle she wore low on her hips. With a glance at Rylan to make certain he understood her intent, she cut through the stubborn knot. Then she unwound the bandage from around his body, leaning close enough that her hair trailed across his chest.
Another glance showed him staring at the fire, seeming completely uninterested in what she was doing though the muscle in his jaw bulged as if he gritted his teeth. “Am I hurting you?”
“Nay,” he bit out. “Please continue.”
After two more passes, she removed the cloth. The wound was still red and swollen, but puss no longer oozed from it. “I think you’re definitely on the mend.”
“Good.” He looked down to see for himself just as she drew closer.
Their heads gently touched. Kayte glanced up, one hand on his shoulder to balance herself. His gaze caught hers and she couldn’t look away. Something stirred in the dark depths of his eyes. Then his gaze dropped to her lips. Her heart thundered in surprise even as her lips parted.
“Oh.” Shocked at the feelings coursing through her body and wondering if there was any possibility he felt the same, she could only blink. Heat spread through her as though her body had caught fire.
Those dark eyes met hers again, and she shifted forward, wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on hers.
“I brought you some bread and cheese,” Joseph said as he entered the chamber. He stopped abruptly as he caught sight of their pose on the bed. “Oh. Good day, Lady Kayte.”
Kayte drew back, trying to gather her thoughts. Had what she thought was about to happen really almost happened? “And to you, Joseph.”
“I think he’s better. What do you think?” the squire asked as he moved closer.
“I would agree.”
“No need to speak of me as though I’m not here.” Rylan scowled at the pair of them.
Joseph grinned. “He’s definitely better.”
Uncertain how to act, especially with heat filling her cheeks, she glanced down at his side only to see her hand still on his body. She jerked it back, embarrassed by her forward behavior. “I’ll mix another poultice to apply and then we’ll replace the bandage.”
She worked quickly, mixing dried comfrey, thyme, hot wat
er and wine into a poultice and adding a bit of mustard as well, something her mother had always insisted on. All while trying to convince herself the spark of desire she’d felt had been completely one-sided. Rylan said little and didn’t look at her at all. What other explanation could there be? Her behavior must’ve made him uncomfortable. How could she have misread his feelings for her so badly? The heat of shame spread through her as Rainald’s harsh words filled her mind.
You couldn’t raise the interest of a man if you were the only woman left on earth.
“Is something amiss?” Rylan asked, his low voice causing her to pause her movements.
She glanced at Joseph who tossed another log on the fire, reluctant to try to apologize in front of the boy.
“Joseph, could you please fetch some wine?” Rylan asked.
The boy gave a quick nod and was out the door.
Rylan grasped her hand before she could move away. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry if I offended you in any way.”
Silence greeted her answer until she looked at him, hoping he’d release her hand so she could finish tending his wound and leave.
“You have nothing to apologize for. ’Tis I who should do so. It has been a long time since I’ve been in the company of such a beautiful lady, and I fear I’ve forgotten how to act.”
Kayte could only stare at him, certain she’d misheard him. “Beautiful?”
He frowned. “Quite. Your proximity makes me think of things I shouldn’t, and I’m sorry for that.”
Her face heated further at his words, but she couldn’t help but ask for reassurance. “You find me…attractive?”
“How could you possibly doubt how lovely you are?”
“Rainald did not care for my appearance. He found me less than appealing.” Though they hadn’t been married long, he’d said the words often enough that she believed them. Added to that had been his lack of ability to perform his husbandly duty. She’d had no choice but to realize she held no attraction for men.
“Your husband was a fool.”
Her heart lightened at Rylan’s words, though she far from convinced. He was most likely being nice. She turned toward the small table to pick up the poultice only to have Rylan take her hand and pull until she sat on the bed beside him once again.
He studied her face intently until she frowned in question. “I don’t think you understand. I’m not saying it to be nice.”
Her heart squeezed. It was as if he could read her mind. “Of course you are, but I appreciate it all the same.” She smiled to show she was not in the least offended. Far from it in fact.
“Kayte.” The low rumble of his voice stirred something deep within her. He laid his hand along her cheek, making her breath catch as the heat in his brown eyes drew her in. “You are truly a beautiful woman. Any man would be lucky to have you for his wife. And from what little I’ve seen, you’re beautiful on the inside as well.”
The intensity of his eyes convinced her of his sincerity. His touch made her stomach dance with delight. She hardly knew what to say. As she parted her lips to try to express her gratitude for what he’d said, his hand shifted to her neck and gently eased her forward.
His lips, warm and firm, touched hers and everything inside her melted into a puddle. How could a kiss create this feeling? Nothing she’d experienced in the past had prepared her for this.
When he eased back, all she could do was stare at him.
“So beautiful,” he murmured. “You should never doubt it.”
She bit her lower lip, pondering his words. “I will try.” That was the most she could offer.
He smiled, lighting a gleam in the depth of his eyes. How she wished he’d do that more often.
“Allow me to tend your wound,” she said.
With another glance at Rylan, she finished mixing the poultice. She applied a small amount of oil around the injury so the herbs wouldn’t stick then folded a piece of linen to cover it. Once again, she found herself brushing against him as she wound the linen strips around his wide chest.
“Thank you.” His gratitude warmed her.
“You are welcome.” She gathered her supplies, trying to work up the courage to ask her question. “Have you given more consideration to my request?”
“I have. Though I’m not certain I am a worthy escort, I would be pleased to accompany you to the convent.”
Relief made her knees weak. “That is wonderful to hear. I can’t thank you enough. As I said, Anne and I will be no trouble.”
“I have no doubt. How soon will you be prepared to leave?”
“We will be ready when you are.” She couldn’t wait to tell Anne. For once, things were going well. She could only hope they continued to do so.
Chapter Five
Two days later, Rylan rose with the sun, more than ready to leave. He’d wasted enough time waiting to heal. His ribs were still sore, but his wound was much better thanks to Lady Kayte.
He’d advised her the previous day that he wanted to leave early this morn. Home beckoned and he did not care to delay any longer. Not to mention the visit Harold had paid him. The man seemed quite anxious for Rylan to be on his way. Harold hadn’t mentioned Kayte’s departure, leaving Rylan to wonder if he knew of it yet.
The days were short, which limited their travel time. He could only hope Kayte and Anne would be ready to leave soon.
He roused Joseph with a shake on his shoulder and put more wood on the coals in the fire to warm the chamber. He knew how cold it would be on their journey, the kind that soaked into your bones, especially when you had to lay on the ground at night. Though he didn’t know the road to the convent well, he couldn’t remember any inns along the way. With luck, they’d come upon one.
Somehow the idea of delivering Kayte to a convent held little appeal. Such a beautiful woman seemed better suited to raising a family of her own rather than living a chaste life of prayer. How could she not see how special she was? Rainald had married a treasure but apparently hadn’t realized his good fortune since he’d left her so soon after they’d married. Rylan was wary of spending the next few days with her as he was already attracted to her. Their kiss had been far more than he bargained for. He needed to try to keep his distance from the lovely widow.
He gathered the few belongings they had in the chamber as Joseph rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Bending over brought a grimace of pain. Several times each day, he’d risen from the bed to walk about, trying to regain his strength. It was difficult to determine the balance between resting to better heal and moving to keep his stamina.
Already he felt tired, but the thought of home kept him moving. In mid-December, his mother would have the great hall decorated for Christmas with greenery. She’d nag his father into selecting just the right Yule log to burn in the fire, one big enough to last for an entire twelve days.
By now, she would’ve gathered gifts for the villagers, everything from candles to tarts and even loaves of extra bread. He smiled at the thought.
“What has you so pleased this early in the morn?” Joseph asked as he stuffed his meager possessions into his bag.
“I am thinking of the food that awaits us once we arrive at my home.”
“Truly?” The boy’s eyes lit with excitement. “What sort of food?”
“For Christmas we’ll have roasted venison, frumenty with currants, mulled wine, spiced ale, and the finest white bread you’ve ever tasted. There will be gifts for everyone. Even you.”
Joseph’s mouth gaped. “Truly?”
“Indeed. We’ll play ‘king of the bean’ and my father will present fine clothing to his knights. Mummers will parade the streets of the village and dance in the great hall. With luck, they’ll perform the St. George and the Dragon play. That is my favorite.”
“I’ve never seen such a thing. Is your village large?”
Rylan shared details with the boy, all the while keeping him moving until they were ready to leave the chamber. As they made their way d
own the stairs to the great hall, Rylan could see that those slumbering there had already risen. Many had already stacked their pallets to the side and begun to set out the large trestle tables so people could sit to break their fast. Some looked at him with interest and others simply ignored him.
He imagined morning mass would be held soon. He hoped Kayte wouldn’t mind missing it so they could leave.
A maid greeted them and offered to fetch bread and cheese along with some ale to wash it down. As he and Joseph started to break their fast, Kayte entered the hall with Anne at her side.
He frowned when he saw they wore no cloaks, nor did any servant carry bags for them. Weren’t they prepared to depart?
“Good morn to you,” Kayte said with a smile. She glanced around the hall nervously but took a seat beside them and gestured for Lady Anne to do the same. “This is Lady Anne, my aunt.”
Rylan greeted the older woman, taking in her rounded appearance and friendly brown eyes. “Will you be ready to leave soon?” he asked, hoping the answer would be yes.
“Our horses are being readied now,” Anne said with a sparkle lighting her eyes. She seemed almost excited about their upcoming journey. “How is your injury?”
“Definitely healing thanks to Lady Kayte.” Rylan held Kayte’s gaze for a long moment.
Though he realized his desire for this woman was far from appropriate when she had just become a widow, he couldn’t help it. Something stirred deep within him when he looked at her. Something more than mere physical attraction. It bothered him to no end that she thought so little of herself.
They ate quickly. Kayte and Anne seemed as eager to be on the road as he and Joseph were. Rylan rose to take his leave but Kayte and Anne hesitated.
“I left a few items in my chamber. We’ll join you outside shortly.”
It was the odd expression on her face that had Rylan worrying, but he could think of no reason not to believe her, so he and Joseph ventured into the cold, damp morn.
Harold had not made an appearance in the hall, so Rylan did not have the opportunity to thank him. He’d seen very little of the man since his arrival, which was fine as far as Rylan was concerned.