Autumn

by Edwards, Maddy

  I sighed. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I tried, scrunching up my forehead and imagining a nice roaring fire.

  “What on earth are you doing?” Samuel asked, almost laughing.

  “What?” I asked. My legs still felt cold and I didn’t like the fact that Susan and Samuel were laughing at me.

  “You draw warmth from the stuff around you, not by imagining a big stuffed blanket,” said Samuel, folding his arms.

  I tried again. And again. And again.

  Eventually, at the end of what felt like hours, I started to understand that the flowers and plants could give me warmth, at little cost to themselves.

  “Nice work,” said Susan. I was relieved that she sounded sincere. I don’t think I could have taken much of Susan hating me.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “How to be a Fairy 101 is a success,” she said, grinning. “Lesson number one complete.”

  Chapter Five

  I wanted to see Holt.

  Once the three of us had finished with our “lesson,” I waited for Samuel to leave, but he didn’t. Instead, Susan found a reason to excuse herself, saying something about cooking dinner.

  “Literally,” said Samuel, “a worse Fairy cook does not exist.”

  “I just need practice,” she said as she walked away.

  “I suppose you want to know about Holt,” said Samuel. He was walking with his hands in his pockets. He had started to loosen up a bit while I practiced, but now he was stiff as a board again.

  “Yes,” I said. Something in my heart lifted and I scarcely dared to breathe. “That would be nice.”

  “He’s at the house. He’s going to be kept there indefinitely. Knowing my mother, it could be a long time. She is enjoying seeing him arrested, and I don’t think she’ll give in easily to any proposal to let him out.”

  I nodded. I had expected all of that.

  What I didn’t expect was what he said next.

  “If you want to see him, you can,” he said, his voice was so quiet that I thought I might not have heard him properly. I wasn’t graceful on the best of occasions, and even my new Fairy strength didn’t keep me from almost falling.

  Samuel reached out to steady me, the old familiar jolt coursing through my skin. I saw his eyes widen a little before he quickly looked away.

  “I guess you will grow into your Fairy grace,” he said dryly.

  “One can only hope,” I answered.

  “When can I see him?” I asked, trying to keep the eagerness out of my voice. I didn’t want to hurt Samuel more, but I desperately wanted to see Holt.

  “Soon,” said Samuel. “I would wait a few days, just so that my mother can think he’s being adequately punished, but once that’s done the Supreme Council has agreed to let you visit once a week.”

  “Once a weak? That’s no time at all!”

  Samuel’s shoulders drooped and I instantly felt bad.

  “It’s the best I could do.”

  I let the implications of his words sink in. He had done this, made sure I could see Holt, and I wasn’t even being grateful. Samuel had never stopped doing things: for me.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  Samuel just nodded.

  “Look, we’ll see each other soon. We have all the Fairy lessons to get through. Right now, I should go.”

  Without so much as a backwards glance he walked away, leaving me standing alone on the grounds of my new high school.

  What a way to start the school year.

  I trudged home. Carley was leaving soon and we had something to plan. She had decided that we were going to have a goodbye party for her. She insisted that we were going to have a great time.

  I wasn’t so sure. And anyhow, I didn’t really want to have a party. What I wanted to do was curl up in a ball on my bed until all this was over.

  At some point I would have to talk to Mrs. Roth about what she had done and what she refused to do. I would need all my energy to confront Holt’s mother, and I didn’t want to spend any of it on having some party. Carley, though, rarely tolerated arguments.

  It was nearly dinner by the time that I got home. The Fairies had made Carley forget that I had been MIA the day before, but since I didn’t know how to do that and had been ordered not to do anything Fairy-related without the supervision of another Fairy, I had no such luck today.

  “Where have you been?” asked Carley, slamming onto the front porch as I approached the Hightowers’ house -- now my mother’s house for at least the fall.

  I didn’t want to lie. She would probably be able to tell.

  “I was with Susan,” I said. “We had to talk about some stuff.”

  Carley’s face softened a fraction.

  “And you couldn’t bring me?” she asked, pushing out her bottom lip.

  “She wanted to be alone,” I said. It was basically the truth. I just left out the fact that I wanted to be alone too.

  “I see,” said Carley, considering. “Well, in that case, is she alright?” I loved Carley for not holding grudges. It was so different from my own way of handling people.

  “I think so,” I said. I honestly had no idea. “She might need some time, but I think in the end she’ll be okay.”

  “Is she going to come to your birthday party?” Carley asked slyly.

  I laughed. “You are like a dog with a bone.”

  Carley tossed her blond hair over her head and I remembered how bedraggled I looked, never having bothered to get dressed or put on makeup. My brown hair hung in strings around my head.

  “Only if it’s, like, one of those totally cute dogs,” she said.

  “I’m sure it’s the cutest dog ever,” I told her.

  “You should shower,” she said, examining me as I reached the steps.

  I nodded and almost laughed as I asked, “What are we doing tonight?” I definitely didn’t want to be alone in my room, thinking about Holt and the Supreme Council.

  “First,” said Carley, “I think you have some news that you forgot to tell me.” She waggled her eyebrow at me.

  I was drawing a blank. What was she talking about?

  She waited a breath, and when I still didn’t get it she said, “You’re moving here?”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said. “Right. My mom wants to come here for the fall.”

  “OMG,” Carley squealed, “that’s amazing!”

  She jumped down the steps and wrapped her arms around me.

  “It’s, like, totally the coolest thing ever. I am SO proud of you. It’s such a big step. Maine is so pretty in the fall. I totally think you’re going to love it here. It’s just wonderful. So...amazing. I will visit all the time. Or at least whenever I can. But,” she lowered her voice, “you have to promise to keep an eye on Nick for me.”

  I made a face.

  “I thought you didn’t care about Nick,” I said.

  Carley shrugged, avoiding my eyes.

  “I don’t, but I don’t want him to end up dating some horrible girl. Or some girl that dresses terribly. Can you imagine what will happen if he dates a girl with toe fat??”

  Leave it to Carley to totally distract me with nonsense.

  “Carley,” I asked, “what is toe fat?”

  “It’s when you wear ballet flats and you can see the tops of someone’s toes. It’s so not attractive.”

  “Whatever you say, Carley,” I replied, shaking my head.

  “Anyway, I asked my mother if I could stay here and live with you.”

  My heart lifted a fraction. Carley, always funny and loyal, would make everything easier if she stayed here this fall.

  “Unfortunately, my mother said that it was totally out of the question and asked if I was smoking something. She totally thinks I’d do something awful, even though I never have. If you don’t count the beer, which of course I don’t.”

  I laughed out loud. “Then why did she say no?”

  “Oddly enough,” said Carley, “I think she cares about me and wants me with the
family this fall. I’m not sure, but anyway, I will totally visit whenever I can.”

  I hugged Carley back. “I will miss you,” I said. “So, much!”

  “Of course you will,” said Carley, into my ear. “I am awesome.”

  After I showered I had dinner with Carley and Mrs. Hightower. Carley’s mom was going to the movies, which left the two of us to hang out at Carley’s, which was good, because I wanted to ask Carley about Nick.

  Luckily, it turned out that I didn’t need to.

  After Mrs. Hightower left the house the doorbell rang, and who was waiting to come in? None other than Nick himself.

  I raced to open the door, even as Carley tried to stop me. Her face had gone an odd shade of pale, and I remembered that she hadn’t seen him since we had all been at Samuel’s house a few days ago.

  “Hey, Nick,” I said. Regardless of Carley, I was just relieved to see him. Through the stress of everything, Nick had been a constant. He was kind and he smiled and he loved his old-beat up car and he sucked at cards almost as much as I did so I never felt bad when I played with him.

  It was several levels of awesome.

  “How’s it going?” he asked. He made no move to come inside.

  “It’s good,” I said, standing aside. He still didn’t move.

  “Aren’t you going to come in?” I asked.

  He looked over my shoulder, but Carley hadn’t followed me out of the kitchen. She didn’t deal well with confrontation. She just liked everything to be nice and didn’t want to have to worry about it.

  “Is Carley here?” he mouthed to me.

  I shrugged and nodded.

  He breathed a sigh. “I shouldn’t come in,” he said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because she’s mad at me...for liking her, which makes sense only in Carley’s world,” he said.

  “She’s mad at you because you shared private information without asking her. Girls don’t like that,” I said.

  Nick huffed. “Fine, but can’t I just apologize and promise not to do it again and move on?”

  “Apparently not,” I said. I could feel his pain. If he had known that what he was doing would hurt Carley, he never would have done it, but some actions can’t be undone. I flinched at my own harsh view, and an image of Holt popped into my mind. I just hoped he’d be okay, even if what he had done, what we had done, was unforgivable.

  “Come in,” I said. “She’ll come around. She always does.”

  Again I stepped out of his way, and reluctantly he came inside. Once he was standing in the light of the living room I almost laughed.

  Usually, Nick looked disheveled at best. Carley and I had once had a long conversation about the fact that not only did Nick not own a comb, he had never even used one. But tonight was different. His hair was slicked back, almost like he had gel in it, and instead of one of his customary tattered shirts he wore a nice button-down.

  It was something that the men of both the Roth family and the Cheshire family wore often, always making it look casual and classy. Nick looked a little silly, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him so.

  “Carley,” I yelled, “you can’t avoid him forever.”

  “I can try,” she called back. I rolled my eyes as Nick sank onto the couch.

  I stomped into the kitchen. “Carley, come out and be nice. He looks sad.”

  “Thanks, Autumn,” I heard Nick call from the living room.

  “I don’t want to,” said Carley. She was sitting at the kitchen table playing on her computer.

  “Look, Carley, I’ve had a long week, and it would be nice if my two best friends could hang out with me and get along. I want to play cards or something.”

  Carley gave me a sharp look. “How have you had a bad week?”

  “It’s a long story,” I said, wincing inwardly that I had come close to giving away my Fairy issues.

  “Whatever,” said Carley. “I’m very busy at the moment.”

  “Online shopping at Forever 21 does not constitute being busy,” I informed my friend.

  “It does when I need new outfits for school,” she said. “There’s nowhere around here we can get them.”

  I walked over and sat next to Carley. Really, I wanted her to come and hang out for selfish reasons. I wanted to get my mind off becoming a Fairy and Holt in jail and Samuel not looking at me, but I also felt bad for Nick and wanted them to make up. It wouldn’t be the same if they hated each other.

  “Come on,” I said, needling her. “You know you want to. You can online shop any time.”

  Nick appeared in the doorway. I had forgotten his changed appearance, but Carley noticed instantly. In typical Carley fashion her emotions were clear on her face.

  She dropped her head into her arms and started laughing hysterically.

  Nick’s face went bright red.

  “What are you wearing?” she cried from between her arms. Her shoulders shook with laughter.

  “Just put on a clean shirt is all,” Nick mumbled, scuffing his foot on the floor.

  “Carley,” I said. “Stop stalling. Nick and I both know you’re just afraid of losing at cards. That’s why you’re in here instead of hanging out.”

  Carley’s head snapped up. “You know just how to get me,” she said. “Well played.”

  “Thanks,” I said, grinning.

  I was relieved that the night was going to be normal again.

  At the end of the evening, once Carley had watched Nick leave, she made me promise to keep an eye on him and give her updates on his love life after she left for New York. Even though she had been nice to him all evening, she hadn’t let him touch her.

  She told me that the only girl she would ever want him to be with besides herself was me. I told her that was totally crazy, and she said she’d want her two best friends to end up together, because then she would know they were well taken care of.

  I couldn’t tell her that I already had too many problems in the romance department to add Nick to the pile. She would have laughed her butt off anyway if she had known what was going on in my life. Actually, she would probably have asked if I could perform curses on everyone and everything she didn’t like. Lydia and Leslie would have been tops on her firing squad list, and I had to smile at that.

  “I think I want to dye my hair,” she said as we headed up to bed.

  “What? What’s wrong with blond?” I asked.

  “It’s so boring,” she said. “Let’s go black or something. Will you go with me? It will be a nice change before our party!”

  I shook my head. Carley had the most beautiful blond hair, and I didn’t understand why she wanted to change it, but in the end I agreed that I would go with her to the hair salon and sit with her while she butchered her blond locks.

  She just rolled her eyes at me.

  A weight settled back over my shoulders as I walked back into my room. Now that I was alone and tired, all the events of the past few days came back full force and all I wanted to do was weep and talk to Holt and have him hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay.

  But it wasn’t going to be okay. Nothing was going to be okay, not as long as Holt was caught in the clutches of Mrs. Cheshire. As long as she was in the picture, I didn’t see how anything would ever be okay.

  Chapter Six

  Soon after Carley had her hair dyed, it was time for my mother to arrive and Carley to go. I felt a little odd about my mother coming, especially since I had never even gotten a chance to go home. She had offered to let me fly home for the weekend, partly so I could pack up some stuff to bring back to Castleton, but I knew the Fairies wouldn’t like it.

  Besides, I didn’t want to go far away from Holt, who had now been locked up for almost a week. The days were passing in excruciating slowness, but soon I would be able to visit him for the first time. It was something that I anticipated and dreaded all at the same time. Every time I saw Susan I asked for news, but after the third or fourth time of her having nothing to say
and being upset that I was asking, I stopped.

  I worried that he wasn’t comfortable. I worried that he wasn’t being fed. I worried that the Winter Queen snuck down there late at night and poked him with hot prongs. I had thought that once he offered me his Rose there would be some greater connection between us, kind of like the one I had with Samuel, but there wasn’t. Or, at least, try as I might I couldn’t sense what he was thinking or feeling.

  It was torture not knowing if he was okay or how much pain he was in. Often, my mind would flit to Logan and what he had done to cause all this. I hated him so much that sometimes it kept me up at night. I wished I were stronger, more able to find ways to seek revenge. It wasn’t like me, but then this entire situation was so unusual, surely no one could fault me for wishing Logan intense pain. It was Logan who deserved to be locked up in the basement of the Cheshires’ place, not Holt.

  “How are you holding up?” Carley asked me, interrupting my thoughts. I jumped.

  I had been sitting alone on the porch. Even though it was fall now and I needed a blanket and a fleece to be outside, I couldn’t let go of sitting in the sun, especially not now that I was a Fairy. I had been trying the thing that Susan and Samuel had taught me, of bringing warmth into myself, but I still wasn’t very good at it. Being a Fairy was a lot harder to learn than to be born with, kind of like learning a second language (which I had never managed to do; maybe that should have told me something about my study skills).

  “Wh-what do you mean?” I asked.

  “You looked pensive,” she said, sitting down in her usual blue rocking chair.

  “Nice SAT word,” I told her.

  She scoffed. “I can’t believe we have to take those this year. They’re so long and horrible and who cares what pensive means anyway?”

  “Colleges, apparently,” I said. I wondered if I would even be taking the SATs. A week ago I would have said so, but a week ago Holt hadn’t made me a Fairy and I hadn’t been arrested for breaking Fairy law and my mother hadn’t been Fairy-tricked into moving to Maine.