Glass Ceilings

by A. m Madden

  “We don’t need to touch your savings, I plan on supporting you.”

  “Nick, I can’t expect you to do that.”

  “Don’t argue with me over that, please. I make a very nice living, Angela. I will support my wife and child.”

  My eyes cut across her tiny, compact apartment. Yes, Nicholas had his own room, but the rest of the apartment was one square consisting of living room and kitchen. The futon served as her bed, the hall closet was where her clothes hung. The apartment wasn’t overcrowded or jammed, but it was obviously minimalistic for a reason…it was minuscule.

  “Baby, I know that you want to keep things as normal as possible for our son, and I agree, but he’s only a year old. He’ll adapt. My place has two bedrooms, and a lot more space.” Her body language once again spoke volumes. “What?”

  “I’m scared. I’m afraid that if things don’t work, or if something goes wrong…I…”

  Taking her hand, I waited for her to collect her thoughts. There were so many things I could have said, but I needed to hear what she was trying yet failing to verbalize. “Talk to me.”

  Her eyes met mine in a defeated stare. “Now that I have you again, I don’t want to ever go back to feeling that desperation I felt in Ohio, or once I arrived here in New York. I finally feel whole, and I don’t want to lose you again.”

  “Neither do I. All we can do, Angela, is to keep communicating, keep trusting, and keep remembering this amazing connection that we share.”

  —

  We still had much to iron out, but our conversation left me feeling better by the time I drove her to work. I could also see the relief she felt as that light I fell in love with, that I missed seeing, was slowly returning in her eyes.

  During the hours we were apart while she was working, I buried myself in the documents and files that sat ominously in my apartment. I also called Luca.

  The conversation started awkwardly. Pretending not to beat around the bush, he came right out and said what he was thinking. “Listen, I’m worried that you’re in it for Nicholas and only Nicholas.”

  “A few days ago you would have been right, but not anymore.”

  A long pause stretched over the phone, and I waited for him to speak first. “I completely understand every single part of the emotional roller coaster you endured this past week, including how you feel now. I hope you forgave her. She did everything she thought she needed to do to protect Nicholas.”

  “I know, and I have.”

  Once we got all that out of the way, I wanted to swap facts regarding David’s disappearance.

  Luca was baffled. “Silas and I covered every one of our tracks, and made sure none of them led to any of the Cavellos.”

  “We can’t be too sure that either family hasn’t gotten to him.”

  “I know that.”

  So, if the Delarros and Puccis had no knowledge of the Cavellos’ involvement, then where the fuck was David?

  “One more thing. Anything on your dad?”

  “Nothing yet.”

  “Luca, you’re running out of time. If Delarro’s men find out…”

  “I know,” he cut me off. “I’m being very careful.”

  My morning flew, and the time to get over to the marriage license bureau came quickly. On our ride, she filled me in on her conversation with Eve regarding her hours. Eve immediately agreed, in exchange for a sit-down with the four of us. The thought of a sit-down with those two, although I knew it was completely necessary, was not something I looked forward to.

  When I dropped Angela back off at work, I let her know that I’d be back at the end of her day so we could pick up our son from daycare, and I could show her my apartment…our apartment.

  My afternoon went much like my morning did, with the exception of a phone call to George.

  “David was questioned the day after you were put on leave. At that point, Rupert was still working on trying to identify one suspicious man we saw on the security tapes we retrieved from Ronnie’s building.”

  “So, still nothing on David Cavello?”

  “Nothing. His alibi was weak. The contact info he supplied was a dead end. Rupert was positive David was the mystery man seen on the tape entering and leaving Ronnie’s building, and he is dead set on finding David one way or another.”

  “George, please let me know when David is found and brought down for questioning again. At least then I’ll know he’s still alive.”

  “I’ll try.” I continued to listen as George came right out and said that he wasn’t going to be able to keep his promise of keeping me informed. “Sorry, Nick.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s better this way.” His admission was actually a relief, and I told him so. “I never felt right putting you in such a compromising position. This way, anything I find out and any consequences will fall on me, as they should.”

  “Just be careful, Nick. Rupert would not be happy if he knew you stole all those files. Great agent or not, he’ll have your nuts if he finds out.”

  “He won’t find out.”

  —

  After I picked her up at the store, we picked up Nicholas from daycare and a pizza for dinner. It wasn’t long after when the three of us stood in the doorway of my apartment.

  “Oh my God, Nick. It’s gorgeous,” she said when I opened the door.

  I always thought my place was small, but compared to hers it seemed much more spacious than it was. Ironically, when I’d found it, it had been with her in mind. I imagined her there, with me. I assumed she’d be the one to help me fill it with furniture. I pictured her in my bed as the woman I made love to. I waited a very long time to decorate, refusing to have more than the bare necessities. It wasn’t until I met Stacie that I finally made it more than just an empty shell of a home. Having Angela there seemed surreal.

  I held Nicholas while she slowly walked around, taking it all in. My place was nothing but masculine, mostly blacks, grays, whites. It desperately needed feminine touches. Stacie had tried to guide me in a softer direction, but she’d lost that battle. In hindsight, even then I was subconsciously staving off things becoming more serious between us.

  The smile on Angela’s face made me feel happy that I had. Every so often, she’d ask a question.

  “We’ll have to do some baby-proofing.”

  “Absolutely.”

  No sooner did she say that than Nicholas’s eyes landed on the three decorative metal balls that sat on a shelf. “Ball! Ball!”

  “Pizza?” Angela countered. The war between demanding the balls and agreeing to the pizza was evident on his lovable little face. “Ready for pizza, little man?”

  “Peatz.”

  Angela smiled when our eyes met. “You’ll find that distraction is a parent’s best friend.”

  Chapter 30

  Nick

  Once Nicholas finished his favorite meal, he became miserable. Being in my apartment without being allowed to roam freely was like standing outside the front doors of FAO Schwarz, but not being allowed to go inside.

  I couldn’t help but feel that forcing them to move in with me was a big fat mistake. All I had going for us was more space. My son wanted to play and be a boy, and my place wasn’t at all one-year-old friendly. His restriction to either my lap or his mother’s made him cranky, which made me cranky.

  Angela saw right through my change in mood. “What’s wrong?”

  “My place is not conducive to a one-year-old. Your place is homey and safe.”

  “Nick, it’s nothing a few cabinet locks and child gates won’t fix.”

  “He looks so sad. I want him to be happy.”

  “As long as he’s with us, he’ll be happy.”

  When I smirked she said, “Okay, as long as he has his trucks he’ll be happy, but the good thing about one-year-olds is they can be very easily distracted. You witnessed that.”

  I watched as she opened a few of my kitchen cabinets. Finding what she was looking for, she sat Nicholas down with a few pl
astic bowls and a plastic serving spoon. Taking her lead, he began banging and thumping on them enthusiastically. It distracted him long enough to enable his mother to come over and kiss me. “See?”

  “Brilliant.”

  “Trust me. Once we get his stuff here, move some things out of his reach,” she said eyeing my metal balls, “he’ll be right at home. Besides, it won’t be long before he’ll be able to walk out his door of his own free will. I love the idea of having our own room, with an actual door…not to mention what can happen in that amazing shower of yours,” she admitted, wiggling her eyebrows.

  “Good point.”

  My wife-to-be was remarkable. With every one of my concerns, she had a solution…and with every minute that passed I fell in love with her more and more. My weaknesses were her strengths, making us like puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

  After dinner, we decided that I’d pack a bag and stay at her place until mine was Nicholas-proofed. She watched quietly as I gathered my files, laptop, and personally registered gun.

  “I forget you’re an agent. That makes me so nervous,” she admitted out loud.

  “The fact I carry a gun?” I glanced to where Nicholas still busied himself with his makeshift drums. “I’m very careful, Angela.”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s not that. The fact that your job requires you to carry one.” Her eyes shimmered before she closed them tightly. When she opened them, the fear she felt was etched all over her face. “It scares me, Nick.”

  I snapped shut my secured case, locking it immediately. Moving toward her, I gathered her in my arms. “Hey, nothing is going to happen to me.”

  “You can’t know that, but promise me anyway,” she demanded, staring up at me. Her pupils appeared dilated, her heart pounded against my chest.

  “I promise.” I tucked her hair behind her ear, looking her directly in the eye. “I absolutely promise,” I repeated.

  Nicholas crawled over to where we stood, hesitated a few seconds, then took off for my metal balls with lightning speed.

  “Whoa,” Angela said, scooping him up before he reached his target. “I think it’s time to get you home, little man.”

  “Ball! Ball!”

  “Who wants ice cream?”

  He stopped fussing immediately. “Kreem?”

  “Yes, baby. Let’s go home and get you some ice cream.”

  “This distraction thing is like magic. I really need to remember this,” I said in awe, causing her to laugh at me. I walked over to my fridge, opened it, and added, “I also need kid food.”

  Her eyes landed on the empty shelves holding a few condiments, a few beers, and a few apples, and she laughed sweetly. “We’ll get you everything the little man needs.”

  —

  We were out the door, and back at her apartment in record time. Once there, we fed him his treat, bathed him to remove all evidence of said treat, read him a story, and tucked him in for the night.

  An awkward silence filled her living room when we both realized that the time had come to make the dreaded phone call to my parents.

  Sitting side by side on her futon, I picked up my cellphone and asked, “Ready?”

  Her unconvincing nod-pout combination caused me to cringe. Part of me worried they’d give Angela a hard time, but we both needed to expect that.

  When I dialed my mom’s number, she picked up on the second ring.

  “I was wondering when I’d be hearing from my gorgeous son. It’s not like I didn’t call you a week ago or anything.”

  “Hello, Mother. Sorry, I’ve been busy.” Angela met my rolling eyes and scrunched her nose as a reaction.

  “You’re always busy. Wait, did you call me Mother? Okay, spill it.”

  “Spill what?”

  “You only call me Mother when you’re about to tell me something serious.”

  “Is Dad there?” I deflected her question.

  “Oh no, now you’re really scaring me, Nicholas. Yes he’s here. We were just relaxing with Michelle.”

  “Oh good. Michelle is there, too. This will save me the trouble of repeating my news.”

  “Hey, son. You’re on speaker now. How’ve you been?” Dad’s voice came over the phone.

  “Good, Dad. Really good.”

  “Hey, bro!” Michelle’s greeting came next.

  “Hi, Shell. How did that audition go?”

  “It went phenomenal. I’m waiting to hear back. I’m up against Rachel McAdams.”

  “Eh, piece of cake. She can’t act.”

  My sister laughed at my comment. “You say that about everyone out here.”

  “It’s true.”

  “So, what’s this news? You got another promotion?” my dad asked, unable to hide the optimism in his voice.

  “No, it’s something else. Something great. Can I call you guys on Skype?” I looked at Angela who was gnawing on her bottom lip. Taking her hand in mine, I lifted it to my lips, kissing it before diving into my news. “I’d rather show you then tell you over the phone.”

  “Please call now, the suspense is killing me.” My mom’s voice came over as practically panicked.

  “Okay, okay.”

  A few minutes later, I had my laptop set to Skype and the call was connecting to my family as they anxiously waited on the other end of the continent.

  “Hi, everyone,” I said once their faces came into view. I had the camera pointed at me, keeping Angela out of the shot.

  “Nicholas. You’ve lost weight.”

  “I’m fine, Mom.” I cleared my throat, twice, before admitting, “So, guys, I met someone.”

  “Oh thank God!” My mother clasped her hands and exclaimed loudly. The joy she felt was evident all over her face. “You can’t fill your life with work and only work, Nicholas. What’s her name?”

  “Angela. I actually met her in Chicago about two years ago, and we just reconnected.” Angela’s breathing picked up as we waited for the onslaught of questions.

  “What a beautiful name. That’s wonderful, dear. Tell her we can’t wait to meet her.”

  “Um…she’s actually here with me now.” I snuck a quick glance at her before tilting the screen.

  “Angela?”

  “Hi. It’s really nice to meet you. I’m sorry it can’t be in person.”

  “Oh, we understand, sweetheart. We’ll be in for the holidays, and look forward to officially meeting you. You’re so pretty. Nicholas, she’s stunning.”

  “Yes, I know, Mom.”

  My dad smiled warmly as he greeted her. Michelle waved a hand before saying hello.

  “So, how did you two meet?” my sister asked as Angela fidgeted beside me.

  Before calling my parents, Angela and I had decided to keep the details of Ronnie’s murder and anything regarding him in general out of the conversation for several reasons. My dad’s previous employment at the Pentagon and the lawman he was to his core was the biggest reason. I worried that withholding that key point made her look worse, because it really was Ronnie’s threats that caused her to stay away from me.

  “We met in Chicago.” I repeated.

  “What about Stacie?” I rolled my eyes at my sister’s question. Of course Michelle would bring up Stacie. “What?” she asked obliviously.

  “Things between Stacie and me could never progress. She actually knew our story, and wasn’t surprised when Angela and I reconnected. Stacie is very happy for me.”

  “So tell us, how did you two get together in New York?”

  “I met Angela at the end of my time in Chicago. She was planning on following me to New York shortly after I’d left. Unfortunately, things happened that changed her plans. Her uncle passed away, and his death was a shock to her family. Weeks passed and our relationship changed. The distance between us, the stress of her personal life, even my new job promotion and its demands all made it difficult to keep that insane connection we felt in Chicago.”

  “That’s understandable,” my mother said with a nod. “What
’s important is that you found each other again. We are so thrilled. Angela, we’re sending you a big hug until we can hug you in person.”

  “Thank you. Same here.”

  “Mom, there’s more.” Angela squeezed my hand in anticipation of what was about to come. The best way to handle it was to just say it. After dragging in another deep breath, I said, “Um…after her uncle’s funeral Angela had a bad bout with the flu. While in the hospital, she found out she was pregnant.”

  A collective gasp along with their shocked faces came through the screen loud and clear.

  “You have a child?” my dad asked quietly as my mom sat in shock, no longer able to form any words.

  “Yes, a son. His name is Nicholas, and he’s just over a year old.”

  “And you’re only finding out now?” Michelle shrieked, causing Angela to flinch beside me. “How could she keep him from you like that?”

  “Michelle!”

  “What, Nick? It’s a legitimate question!”

  “It’s not all on her, Michelle.” It wasn’t fair for anyone to judge Angela not knowing the full story. “I didn’t make it easy on her. While over the phone with the miles stretching between us, I made it very clear how important my job was. Insecurities toward my reaction to being a father had her waiting to tell me about Nicholas until she was able to make the move from Chicago. Unfortunately, it took longer than she wanted.”

  Angela cut her eyes to me. The lies I just told were deliberate, and the only way I could protect her from their judgment.

  I allowed them to digest it, not speaking as they did. Angela’s tears fell while she sat beside me. Trying to comfort her, I smoothed her hair back and wiped her tears but it wasn’t working. My mother watched our exchange, her face softening into a small smile through her own tears.

  Suddenly Angela sat up straight and dragged in a deep breath.

  “I know the choices I made kept Nicholas from Nick—from you all—for a year. I thought long and hard over my decision, and I will carry that tremendous guilt for the rest of my life. Thankfully Nick and Nicholas have already formed an amazing bond, and with each day I intend to make up for lost time. Mr. and Mrs. Farley, I love your son, more than you’ll ever know. He’s an amazing man, and Nicholas and I are extremely fortunate to have him in our lives. I can only hope that someday you’ll forgive me, as he has.”