Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  Chapter Six

  Lindsay knocked on the door of the Chase house and frowned as she stood there for ten minutes. She could hear music blaring inside. It was after three-thirty in the afternoon. She knew Marianne was at the salon she owned. Her husband worked in Helena and didn’t arrive back until late in the evening. Cam was expecting her so she was annoyed when she heard the loud rock music within.

  Cam had the attention span of a gnat. Tutoring him was going to be a challenge. This was the first day and it sounded like a party was going on inside. She muttered under her breath as she retraced her steps to the gate that led to the back of the house.

  The Chases were pretty well off, living in the gated sub that she had once called home. She was wistful as she recalled the block parties and barbeques. It seemed like an eternity ago, not just a year, since she went zipping up and down these well-tended roads in her bright pink Volkswagen bug.

  The pool was closed up, a winter cover still on. The music was louder back here, coming from the play room they built onto the back of their house. Cam was the only kid at home now that his brother was away at school. The baby of the family; he was spoiled rotten. Until six months ago, he had a brand new truck. A drunk night out totaled it and he was back driving his dad’s new Mustang.

  Lindsay went to the sliding glass doors past the Jacuzzi and knocked. She frowned. Cam wasn’t going to hear her over that racket. She tried the doors and found them open. She hesitated before she walked inside and shut them behind her.

  The house was immaculate thanks to the maid they hired. The modern furnishings and art on the walls weren’t to Lindsay’s taste. Marianne liked to show off her wealth. Her husband did some kind of financial planning and investments for a living. He wasn’t home much and Marianne had her hands full with Cam.

  “Cam, I’m here,” she called and realized he wouldn’t hear her so she ventured to follow the music.

  She stepped into the wreck room and coughed from the smell of marijuana and waved at the smoke in front of her face. Cam and his three pals were huffing on a water bong and didn’t see her. Her eyes narrowed. He certainly wasn’t taking his finals seriously.

  He noticed her and grinned, his cute face wreathed in pleasure. He got up and turned down the music. The guys looked at her and she stiffened from the looks passing between them. They obviously thought this was more than it was.

  “Hey Lindsay, you’re early,” he said as he came forward. “My mom said you would be here at four.”

  “It’s ten too, Cam. Can we get to it? I have things to do later?” she asked in annoyance, seeing his eyes were like moons from the dope he’d smoked.

  “Ok, sorry. I’ll just walk the guys out.”

  Lindsay could just imagine what they were thinking as they passed, sending her speculative looks. Tomorrow the news she was tutoring Cam would be twisted into some perverted rumor. She was glad she wasn’t in school anymore. Knowing Cam, he would encourage people to think this was more than it was.

  Minimum wage by the hour was hardly worth this. Then as an added incentive, Mr. Chase offered five hundred dollars if his son passed his SAT exam. Five hundred dollars was a lot of money to her right now.

  She couldn’t draw off her trust until she was actually enrolled in school. She had to fly down for orientation in August to register. As soon as she signed on the dotted line she had access to the funds.

  “I’m sorry about that, Lindsay,” Cam said as he came back, his stoned expression ticking her off.

  “Cam, I’m here to help you pass your exams and that isn’t going to happen if you don’t take it serious.”

  Cam grinned and his handsome face lit up. “I promise this won’t happen again.”

  “Ok, let’s go someplace quiet and get started.”

  Cam looked intrigued. “Ok, let’s go to my room. That way when my mom gets home she won’t interrupt us.”

  Lindsay nodded and hitched up her purse, following Cam as he led her through the house to the stairs. The upper level was an open loft and Cam had it to himself now that his brother was away at school. Two huge bedrooms and a combined bathroom were up there. The wall facing the street was a huge glass window.

  Cam’s room was a disaster she saw. She stepped over clothes and dirty towels on her way in. He mumbled apologetically as he went to his computer desk and cleared it off. He had every modern technological advance known to man and couldn’t find any of it under his laundry. He cleared off his desk and offered her a chair.

  She busied herself going through the checklist given to her by the guidance office. She nearly groaned in dismay. Cam needed help with every course, not just math and science. She had a month to get him ready and if he was stoned every day of it she could kiss the five hundred bucks goodbye.

  “Cam, if you aren’t going to take this seriously, tell me now,” she said as she gazed at him fumbling with his flat screen TV’s remote. “I got better things to do.”

  “No, I just study better with the TV on.”

  “No, it’s a distraction we don’t need. Turn it off.”

  He laughed and flipped it off. “Bossy little thing, aren’t you?”

  “Cam, I need for you to take this serious or why bother?”

  “I bet you weren’t this mean to Jace when you tutored him,” Cam said sullenly.

  “No, I was meaner, trust me.”

  “Fine, have it your way.”

  Lindsay was glad she had Cam’s attention. While she went over the notes of each subject, she looked around out the corner of her eye. Seeing the mess reminded her of how small the object was she was looking for. She reasoned it would be hidden in a drawer more than likely.

  “Lindsay, how’ve you been?” he said finally when they took a break. “I don’t see you anymore.”

  “I’m fine,” she said as she leaned back in the rolling computer chair.

  “You look good, but then you always look good,” Cam remarked, his eyes lingering on her blouse. “You ever get lonely, just call me.”

  Lindsay felt uncomfortable, knowing being in his room was obviously giving him thoughts. She wondered at the sanity of what she was doing when his cell phone rang. He looked at it and announced he had to take it. She watched him leave his room and shut the door, and a pent up sigh came out in a rush.

  She heard the front door open and looked out the window, seeing him talking on the phone, an angry look on his face. He appeared to be arguing with whoever called him. She took advantage of his absence and went to work.

  By the time she finished ransacking every drawer and place the ring might be she heard the front door open and retook her seat. He arrived back, a slight frown on his face.

  “Is everything alright?”

  He shrugged. “That was Marnie. What a psycho! As if I’d take her back! You didn’t hear the latest cause you haven’t been in school. She’s knocked up and doesn’t know whose kid it is.”

  “I’m sorry, Cam,” Lindsay said and bit her lip, refraining from adding an opinion. Jace had accused her of being judgmental. She was making an effort these days.

  “Yeah, she’s pinning it on any guy she can think of. She even claimed it could be Jace’s.”

  Lindsay froze and looked at him in surprise. “What?”

  “Yeah, I know. Don’t pay any attention to her. She’s just mad nobody took responsibility. I mean, who would? She was sleeping with most of my friends. Even Dooley was hitting it. Sorry for the language.”

  “Why would she say it was Jace’s?” Lindsay demanded and saw Cam flush and look away. He swore and looked miserable, acting as if he spoke out of turn.

  “I’m sorry, Lindsay. I swear I didn’t know.”

  “When was this?”

  “Back in December, after Christmas, I think she said,” Cam admitted and sighed. “It was happening and I didn’t know. Marnie told me what happened between them in February. I was just as surprised as you. I mean, that’s not like Jace at all.”

  A desolate look fell
across Lindsay’s face to think Jace cheated on her with Marnie, of all people. Her hand shook as she set down her folder. Anger coursed through her too. All those times she recalled him leaving her house; she wondered if he went to Marnie’s now.

  “Is it true?” she asked hoarsely, her eyes filling with tears.

  “The day he gave me a ride out there he said he was gonna pay for it. She wanted to get an abortion. Who wants to have a kid when you don’t know whose it is, right? Jace did it for her cause nobody else would.”

  “That’s not what I asked you!” Lindsay snapped. “Did he admit to it? Or did he just loan her the money as a friend?”

  “Lindsay, it was going on since last summer, from what he said. He said there was a chance it could be his and that was enough for him to pay for it.”

  Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away, unable to bear the compassion in Cam’s eyes. “So all along he was cheating on me? Here I thought he was the perfect boyfriend and he was screwing around with Marnie?”

  “She’s nothing but a whore, Lindsay. He loved you. I know he did. I used to razz him for not pushing to get in your pants. He said you guys decided to wait.”

  “Apparently the wait was just for me. He didn’t have a problem going to Marnie.”

  Cam got up from the chair and came over, but she stood and stepped away, her hands up. “No, just leave me alone! I don’t need this right now! I just don’t.”

  “Lindsay, I’m sorry, but I guess I thought you heard. Everybody knows.”

  Tears filled her gaze and she marched past him and snatched up her purse. “We’re done for today. I’ll be back the same time tomorrow. Don’t be stoned when I get here or I’m leaving. If you fail it’s your problem.”

  Cam said nothing as she slammed out of his house. She didn’t even say a word to Marianne who opened her mouth and shut it when she saw Lindsay stomp out of her house. She didn’t allow herself to really feel anything until she got outside the main gate of Bendview Estates and she had to pull over. She jumped out of the car and barely made it to the ditch before she was sick over the side.

  Raw sobs mingled with dry heaves until she sat back on her feet, wiping the tears out of her eyes. Pain like nothing she had ever felt sat upon her chest, cutting off her breath.

  She trembled as she got to her feet, seeing people slowing down as they passed. Assured she was fine, they kept going. She sat in the driver’s seat, unseeing and unaware of how long she just sat on the shoulder of the road. Twisted images of Jace and Marnie in bed together whirled in her head. Hands covered her eyes.

  “No, just let me hold onto him. Don’t let me see he was all in my mind,” she whispered brokenly and a sob escaped her.

  Lindsay was breathing unsteadily as she pulled back onto the road and continued home, feeling numb as she finally pulled into her lot. She passed Sara and her mom in the kitchen and went straight to her room.

  Deborah poked her head in, eyes worried. “Honey, you ok?”

  Wanting to spare Sara, Lindsay burrowed her head in the pillow. “I had a rough day, Mom. I just need to be alone.”

  Deborah backed out and closed the door. Lindsay curled into a ball on her bed, staring at the wall in anguish. As much as she wanted to hold onto Jace’s perfect image; knowing Marnie Slade might be having his kid ruined that for her.

  Lindsay slept around the clock and by two in the afternoon the next day, her mom demanded she get up. Sara was at school and her mom took a break downstairs to come up and check on her.

  Deborah stood over her bed, her eyes filled with concern. “You have to get up, Lindsay. What’s going on? You came home a mess last night.”

  Lindsay sat up and pushed her hair out of her eyes. She was still wearing her clothes. Normally this might have bothered her enough to get up and shower. Not today. Today she just didn’t care. The truth about Jace just wiped her out.

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Mom.”

  “If it’s what I think it is; I already heard about it from Sara,” Deborah snapped in irritation. “Marianne had no right making accusations like that publically.”

  “I talked to Cam. It’s true,” she wailed and fresh sobs escaped her. “He said it’s been going on since last summer. How could he do this to me, Mom?”

  Deborah sat on the edge of her bed and reached out to cover her hand. “I’ve been there, Lindsay. Guys do this stuff sometimes. Sounds like Jace did the right thing coming forward, unlike the other boys.”

  Lindsay wiped her eyes angrily. “Don’t use this to make him into even more of a hero, Mom. I’m pissed off!”

  “Oh, I get it. I know exactly how this feels.”

  Lindsay looked at her mom and recalled she got pregnant with Lance and had to marry her dad; not really the same thing. She couldn’t know how this felt at all. She pushed off the bed and went to her dresser. She dug several items out of her drawer.

  “Lindsay, I wish I could tell you that the situation will get better, but that won’t help how you feel right now,” Deborah said to her back.

  “Nothing will help!”

  “Lindsay, we do things we know are wrong, for whatever reason. Jace was human. Let it go, babe. You know how he felt about you.”

  “Yeah, he loved me so much! Give me a break!” Lindsay said with a sneer and stalked past her mom and headed for the bathroom.

  Deborah followed, determined to get through to her daughter. Her eyes were pensive as she watched her turn on the water to the shower. She came forward and sat on the commode.

  “Shut off the water, Lindsay. We have to talk.”

  Lindsay shut off the water and looked at her mother’s pained features and forgot about her own anger and misery for a minute. “What is it, Mom?”

  “I dated Everett Turner back in high school. He looked like Jace back then. He was the captain of the football team and every girl in school was crazy about him,” her mother said with a sad smile. “I thought we would be together forever too; especially when the scout from Minnesota arrived and offered him a contract.”

  Lindsay said nothing, seeing the sad resolve on her mother’s face.

  “I got pregnant, Lindsay. Everett refused to do the right thing. In fact, he pretty much treated me like the Slade girl, and said it wasn’t his. That’s when your dad asked me to marry him.”

  Lindsay stared at her in shock. “Oh my God, Lance is Everett Turner’s son? Does Lance know? Is that why he left?”

  Deborah sighed and hung her head, tears falling freely now. She nodded and looked away. “Your dad never wanted him to know. I told him things like this come out, but he said it would ruin everything.”

  Lindsay could see how tortured her mother was. “Is that why you hated Jace?”

  “I never hated Jace, Lindsay. God, he looks just like Everett did then. I just remember how Evie treated me. I worried his son was no different. I worried for you.”

  “Lance will come back one day, Mom. He will forgive you,” Lindsay whispered, understanding in her gaze.

  Deborah laughed scornfully and looked away. “No, he won’t Lindsay, and who could blame him? I did this by keeping it from him all his life. He hates me, he hates your father, but most of all he hates who he really is. Knowing he’s Everett’s son destroyed him. I live with that, so don’t let me off the hook.”

  “You were young, Mom. You made a mistake.”

  Deborah looked up at her knowingly. “I was seventeen, Lindsay. I was the same age as Jace and Marnie. Don’t you see? They made a mistake too. That’s all this was.”

  Lindsay didn’t want to forgive Jace, but saw the wisdom in her words. “All this time, he’s been seeing Marnie behind my back! Don’t make excuses, Mom.”

  “Oh, I think you have every right to be upset. I just know how Marnie feels right now. I don’t think you realize how tough things will be for her.”

  Lindsay made a face. “You expect me to feel sorry for her? She’s been sleeping around since the eighth grade, Mom.”

 
Deborah eyed her with a shake of her head. “Lindsay, some girls only know one way to feel good. Please try not to judge.”

  “What am I supposed to do? She might be having his kid. How do you think that makes me feel?”

  “How do you think Dawn Turner felt when she found out about Lance?”

  Lindsay stared at her in shock. “I don’t understand.”

  “Everett broke up with me after a week, Lindsay. He was seeing Dawn at the same time. I was devastated. When I found out I was pregnant; I went to Evie and he laughed at me and said it wasn’t his. Dawn almost broke up with him over it. Everything was happening for him then. He thought he could sit back and pick and choose the offers coming in. I think you know the rest. He waited too long. Then the offers stopped.”

  “I can’t believe this.”

  “Go easy on Marnie, Lindsay. She has a rough road ahead. You might as well know her dad and mom kicked her out. Amelia is letting her stay in the room over the antique shop until after graduation. That damned Marianne Chase should feel proud of herself now. ”

  Lindsay wasn’t ready to feel sympathy for Marnie quite yet, recalling all the hateful looks the girl tossed at her over the years. Marnie always despised her. She had never done anything to deserve it. Except have Jace Turner adore her. She sighed and looked down.

  “I get it, but it hurts, Mom. Jace never told me any of this. We told each other everything.”

  “Lindsay, you did the right thing not dragging sex into your relationship with Jace too soon. It’s the mistake so many of you young people make and aren’t prepared for these kinds of consequences. You got the rest of your life ahead of you now. Be lucky it isn’t you,” Deborah said sadly and stood up. “I have to get back to work. Just think about what I said.”

  Lindsay raced through a shower and threw her wet hair up in a bun as she headed over to Cam’s to get the tutoring over with. She dreaded facing him now, especially after everything her mom told her. The baby could very well be Cam’s and he didn’t seem to care at all. Jace had rushed right in to help Marnie, even knowing it might not be his. Tears burned her eyes to know how selfless he was.

  She pulled in and saw Marianne was home. She squared her shoulders, knowing what a horrible gossip the woman was. She wasn’t giving her one tidbit to pass onto her clients. Marianne answered the door and smiled widely, her falsely sensitive gaze seeing how red Lindsay’s eyes were. She hardly spared the woman a word as she went to Cam’s room. Knowing she had been the one to spread the tale to make Cam look good and got Marnie kicked out of her house made her sick. She doubted Marianne even stopped to think the baby could be Cam’s.

  Cam was watching TV when she knocked on his door. He opened it and gazed at her with a sorrowful expression. He tried to talk to her about it and she looked at him without expression.

  “Cam, we both know that baby could be yours, so stop pinning this on Jace. The jury is still out on that.”

  His lips tightened. “God, you excuse everything he does, don’t you?”

  “Jace was the only guy that stepped up, so sorry if I don’t beat him up for it. I’m thinking about Marnie now. You might want to tell your mom to quit trashing her in town. I can’t see her cutting you any slack if this kid turns out to be yours.”

  Cam didn’t know how to respond to that. She ignored him as she went through her bag to find his list of assignments. She refused to discuss it every time he brought it up. It was obvious he wanted Jace to be the bad guy in this. She was starting to wonder why he persisted and a cold feeling filled her.

  She suddenly felt wary of being alone with him, knowing Sheriff Wilson thought he was the one who killed Jace. He certainly had another motive now, the thing with Marnie. Still, she couldn’t see Cam doing such a thing.

  “Cam, you have the reading list for English,” Lindsay said when she was getting ready to leave. “You need to read those books. They’re on the test, trust me.”

  He looked at her with the same empty expression he wore when he sat in Foster’s for the funeral. The hair on the back of her neck prickled with dread. Looking into those cold, flat eyes that seemed oblivious to others feelings these days made her shiver. She just now saw it.

  “I’m sorry if the truth about Jace hurts, Lindsay. He really wasn’t perfect, ya know? I guess I’m mad he went behind my back even if he did tell me about it the next day, but I’ll get over it.”

  “I thought you said you didn’t know it happened,” Lindsay said and did the math. Marnie got pregnant in late December, but Jace only rushed to help her in mid-March. It didn’t sound right. It was obvious Marnie didn’t go to Jace until she had to.

  “You must have misunderstood me. I didn’t know about what happened last summer. This thing with them was all recent news to me.”

  Lindsay just caught Cameron in a lie. She clearly heard him say he hadn’t known about it until Marnie told him in February, yet he now said Jace confessed back in December. She ignored the warnings in her head to run. She had to calm down.

  “No, he wasn’t perfect, but I won’t listen to people put him down to me, Cam. He’s not here to defend himself. You forget he was my best friend too.”

  Cam looked away and got up from his chair. He had an obvious sneer on his face. “Jesus, Lindsay, you got it bad for Jace even now, don’t ya? Doesn’t matter what he did, you would forgive it?”

  “I loved Jace, Cam. Don’t try and tell me who he was,” she argued as she grabbed her book bag and purse. “I knew him better than you did.”

  “I’m sorry, hey, don’t go,” Cam said and turned with a sad look on his face that didn’t match his cold eyes. “We’re all messed up right now, Lindsay. This thing with Jace and Marnie, and my dad is on my ass to get this scholarship. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. You of all people don’t need this crap right now.”

  Lindsay relaxed her guard, but already heard enough to make her aware of some sense Cam was not sorry at all. Sheriff Wilson’s words echoed in her head about his lack of emotion. Fear gnawed at her insides as she made for the door.

  “We’re all going up to The Point tonight, Lindsay. You should come with us. It would do you good. Everybody is gonna be there.”

  She stiffened and forced a smile. “Not tonight, Cam, but I appreciate the offer.”

  His sudden look of anger alerted her. She felt tense all over.

  “Come on, Lindsay. Just for a couple hours. I’ll have you home by your curfew, I promise.”

  Lindsay thought about Sheriff Wilson’s words and knew she owed it to Jace to get to the bottom of what happened that morning weeks ago. She had an opportunity to get close to Cam now.

  Insidious fear clawed at her insides to think Cam was capable of such a coldblooded murder. Her breathing grew steadier. She forced a calm she was far from feeling. The urge to run was strong.

  “Why not, it might be fun,” she said and saw him grin in response.

  “I’ll pick ya up at eight.”

  “Alright, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Cam. I’m trying to put this all behind me now,” she warned and her hand trembled on the knob. “Just don’t put him down to me.”

  “No problem, Lindsay. Not a word, I swear.”