Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  ~ ~ ~

  Lindsay regretted agreeing to go out with Cam the minute he picked her up. His eyes were so dilated she wondered what he was on tonight. Funny how she had never noticed his drug use prior to Jace dying? He was on something a little more than just marijuana tonight.

  “Cam, can you slow down?” she asked as he took the curves on Cutter’s Pass over eighty, the Mustang roaring.

  His expression was teasing. “Oh come on, you don’t want to see what this baby can do?”

  “I’d like to live if you don’t mind,” she said tightly, her imaginary brake engaged even if the real one wasn’t.

  Cam laughed at that, his handsome face giddy and flushed. She was in panic and told herself to calm down. He kept putting his hand on her knee too and she kept moving away. Obviously he thought her agreement to go tonight was a date.

  “Loosen up, Lindsay,” he cajoled and smiled secretively. “You really gotta learn to relax. You’re in good hands.”

  Lindsay forced her eyes on the dark mountain road, cringing as they flew past. She was berating herself for coming every mile that passed. They were five miles from The Point, a ridge with a rock-shelf observation area for tourists. It had not been used for years now, a haven now for Little Bend high school kids.

  “Just slow down please, Cam,” she asked and was pleased when he sighed and eased up on the gas.

  “Fine, stick in the mud,” he teased and his large hand slid over to squeeze her knee again.

  The temptation to fling his hand off her was strong. She was relieved when his hand slid away to delve under the seat. He withdrew a paper bag with a pint of liquor and handed it to her.

  “Thanks,” she said and held it, deciding staying sober was the best course tonight. Cam wasn’t Jace and she didn’t feel safe and protected.

  “I really am sorry you had to find out about all this, Lindsay,” he was saying. “It’s gotta suck to know Jace wasn’t the guy you thought he was.”

  Lindsay bit her lip to keep from going off. Jace was a hundred times the person Cam was. She decided to play along and see what else she could trip him up in.

  “Yeah, well let’s just say it’s been an eye opener.”

  “You ever need somebody to talk to, Lindsay, I’m there for you.”

  “You’re a good friend, Cam,” she replied and looked at him with a soft smile. “What are you gonna do if Marnie’s baby turns out to be yours?”

  The sudden change in Cam shocked her. He cussed and sped up.

  “It isn’t mine, I told you! That slut is lying just to get money out of my family.”

  Her smile faded as she saw the harsh look on his face in the dim car. The sudden rage took her by surprise.

  “I’m sorry, I just wondered if you thought about it.”

  Cam looked ticked off and his expression was scary. “If she knows what’s good for her; she won’t stay here after graduation.”

  Lindsay felt a bit alarmed at the venom she sensed in him. She decided to push him a bit more. “She got kicked out of the house, Cam. Where’s she supposed to go?”

  “That’s not my problem. She should have thought about it before she got herself knocked up by Jace.”

  Lindsay felt her own blood pressure climbing with his assertions Marnie’s kid was Jace’s. A blood test would prove that. Cam refused to accept it might be his even when he was the one dating her the last six months.

  His complete lack of accountability was appalling. Why had she never seen what a jerk he was? Jace obviously never saw this side of Cam either. He would have never tolerated him.

  “I guess we will all find out when she has it,” Lindsay said and saw Cam’s lips tighten.

  “Yeah, I guess, but don’t be surprised if she’s gone by then. When my dad wouldn’t give her the money for the abortion she realized she didn’t have anybody to sponge off of.”

  “What about Dooley? I heard she was seeing him too?”

  Cam laughed and rolled his eyes. “That idiot is denying he was even seeing Marnie now that he’s up for Sheriff. Trust me, nobody wants her here.”

  Lindsay felt a feeling of alarm at Cam’s words, sensing a threat in them against Marnie. She had no reason to stick up for the girl who slept with her boyfriend, but Cam could be dangerous like Wilson said. Either way, she was going to have a talk with Marnie, and soon. The girl needed to stay away from Cam.

  “I feel sorry for her,” Lindsay went on to say. “She has a dad like Jace’s. She’s on her own now. Tell me you don’t feel sorry for her, even if the kid isn’t yours?”

  Cam realized he was sounding like jerk and his tone softened. “Yeah, but she got me in deep shit with my parents saying it was mine. They were just about to sign this car over to me.”

  Lindsay wanted to get away from him after that. Cam was angry because he was denied a car? Marnie was out on the street. After graduation she would have no place to live. Cam was more worried about sucking up to his parents for whatever he could get. She felt nauseated and opened the pint to steady her nerves. She took a swig of the peach schnapps and forced a controlled tone.

  “I was going to ask,” Lindsay said casually as she took another drink. “Why did she wait so long to try and get an abortion? Seems to me she should have started trying to get one month’s ago. Mrs. Warren told my mom she’s over three months along.”

  Cam shrugged. “She was trying to get money out of me, that’s why! She even hit up Dooley. She asked Jace because she was running out of time. I don’t know what the dumb skank was thinking. Who cares, she’s out of my life. In a couple months I’m on my way to Georgia Tech.”

  Lindsay froze at his words, but he went on, talking about how confidant he was of passing the SAT and his plans once he got to Georgia. She was stunned he was planning on going to the same college as her. Panic set in to know it was deliberate.

  “I didn’t know you were thinking about Tech. It’s a good school. I guess my going on and on about it all these months grew on you.”

  Cam looked over at her and his pale blue eyes gleamed in the dark. “I’d follow you anywhere, Lindsay. I think you know how I feel for you.”

  She didn’t know what to say to that. She forced herself to not exhibit the dismay she felt.

  “It’ll be nice knowing someone else there.”

  They drove into The Point by then. Six other vehicles were already there parked in the field next to it, mostly members of the football team and their girlfriends. It was the usual crowd. Lindsay felt self-conscious getting out of the car, seeing the looks she got from her and Jace’s former click.

  Now that he was gone, none of them had gone out of their way to maintain a friendship with her. She wasn’t surprised. Many of them probably wondered what Jace saw in her. She wasn’t popular or a cheerleader. The other girls were all popular and all cheerleaders; most of them snotty and unfriendly when she arrived with Cam.

  She never had close girlfriends; she had Jace. For the first time in four years she felt alone. Cam steered her to a group of them, greeting them loudly. She stayed back, smiling and sipping on the schnapps.

  A pretty dark-haired girl dressed to the nines approached her with a glint in her eyes. Rosemarie Barber was no friend to her. She’d been after Jace since the tenth grade. She made no secret she couldn’t stand Lindsay and the other girls followed suit.

  “I’m surprised to see you out, Lindsay,” she remarked casually as she took a drag on a cigarette. “Jace isn’t even cold yet and you’re out with Cam?”

  Lindsay forced a smile. If Rosemarie thought she could get to you it was all over. Jace told her all about these football girlfriends and his advice on how to deal with them was priceless.

  “I’m tutoring him and he asked if I wanted to come along. It’s been tough,” Lindsay replied evenly, not allowing the other girl to get to her. “Cam and Jace were such good friends, you know?”

  Rosemarie smiled condescendingly. “I suppose you heard about Marnie?”

 
Lindsay shrugged. “Who hasn’t? This town is too small to keep secrets.”

  She seemed annoyed she couldn’t push Lindsay’s buttons. “She’s telling everybody it’s Jace’s. I bet that sure pissed you off to find out he cheated on you?”

  “Nah, I guess he had to get it somewhere, right?”

  Rosemarie raised a dark eyebrow. “You’re not mad? Come on, Lindsay. You and Jace have been dating since the eighth grade. It has to bother you he was banging Marnie all this time?”

  “Actually we broke up the night before he died,” Lindsay surprised her by saying. The girl’s stunned look was priceless. “He was staying here and I was going to Georgia Tech. We both agreed to call it quits. Neither one of us wanted a long-distance thing.”

  Rosemarie didn’t have anything to say to that. She returned to her circle of girlfriends and the whispers were rampant. She hid a smile as she sipped the schnapps. Now they would leave her be. She wasn’t the poor, screwed-over girlfriend now. There wouldn’t be any fun in tormenting her further. Cam joined her and she pretended to enjoy his company. All she wanted was to go home.

  “Drink up, Lindsay,” he said later as he handed her the pint. His blue eyes were amused.

  Lindsay slowed down on the drinking the minute they arrived. Cam seemed to push it on her now. The others were all laughing and drinking, paying her no notice. She felt like she wasn’t a part of this group anymore and lost interest after an hour. After three she just wanted to leave. It was nearly eleven and she was thinking of excuses.

  “My mom is going to be waiting for me at the door, Cam,” she reminded him as she handed him back the pint. “I’m going to pace myself.”

  Cam smiled that secret smile of his and walked back to the guys. That was when Lindsay started to feel more than a little buzzed. Her vision was foggy and blurred and she shook her head to clear it.

  She felt heavy a strange languor stole over her. She stood against a car hood and leaned, gasping as she felt her head swimming. After that, she didn’t remember anything.