Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  ~ ~ ~

  “Remember to practice your targets every day,” Jace was saying as they walked down the dark street.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Daphne was saying, keeping her eyes peeled for demons and Deadheads alike. “You just make sure you come back, Jace.”

  He didn’t answer her as they walked, his eyes scanning the shadowy alleyways as they passed. It was quiet tonight. Merrick gave him a long look before he left on patrol tonight. The older man’s brown eyes bore into his knowingly before he got into the van.

  “You just get yourself back here, kid. You ain’t no good to ‘em back there anymore,” he had said. “You only get in the way.”

  Jace didn’t answer. He knew Merrick realized that better than anyone else. He gazed passed him at Daphne and he rolled his eyes. Jace’s protégé had to work on her shooting. Until she actually hit something she wasn’t going on patrols.

  “I got to do this, Merrick.”

  “I gotcha, just come back. I’ll cover for ya with Raymond.”

  Jace watched him leave, feeling bad he couldn’t take Merrick’s word for it. He had to find out for himself.

  “Earth to Jace,” Daphne piped up and intruded on his thoughts. “I wanted to know what you want me to do if I can’t find the new opening after this one is closed.”

  “I can get back on my own if that’s the case.”

  “Ok, are you ready for this?” she asked.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be. You just close that door fast, Daphne.”

  Her eyes were solemn. “No problem. You don’t need one of those creeps following you back.”

  Jace and Daphne arrived at the glistening ripple near a boarded up building. She looked around nervously. Jace could sense no demons nearby. It was uncanny on how fast he adapted to life down here.

  He looked at her and smiled. “Just close that door and get your butt back to the garage. Use the fire escape to get back in and lock up behind you.”

  She grinned. “No problem. And hey, it’s real cold when you pass through but just keep walking.”

  Jace nodded. “Anything else I need to know?”

  “You can’t do a damn thing for them, Jace. I hope you come back when you realize that.”

  He reached into the translucent ripple that separated dimensions, feeling the cold jelly-like feel of it. He withdrew his hand and it came back dry. A shiver of apprehension went through him. He was determined to help the people he loved even if they couldn’t see him or hear him.

  “Alright, I’m ready. You just be ready,” he warned as he turned to Daphne.

  The redhead smiled. “Yes, Boss, just keep saying there’s no place like home. Now get going before the spooks catch on.”

  Jace cleared his mind of everything but the farm, the kids, Lindsay, and his hometown of Little Bend. He concentrated hard, his dark eyes narrowed as he pictured Lindsay’s apartment, the graffiti spray-painted by some punk on the back of Merriman’s grocery store. The picture of the place was crystal clear in his mind, every detail he could recall. He walked forward, into the rippling doorway.

  Jace gasped as the coldness of it took his breath away. He fought the urge to turn back as he stepped through, forcing himself to concentrate on what lay beyond as he walked. He saw nothing but distortion on either side of him, shapes and colors he couldn’t make out. He stepped gingerly as he walked, unsure of the terrain. The sponginess of it reminded him of wrestling mats in the gym at school. He heard nothing but the beating of his own heart and his ragged breathing.

  He felt like he walked a quarter mile when he began to see light at the end of the ripple. He began to walk faster, feeling a sense of claustrophobia in the cold portal. The light was bright enough for him to squint as he passed through it. A look of wonder crossed his face as he stepped through it and found himself in the front yard of his former home. He hesitated, seeing it was now boarded up. He remembered the portal and hurried up and closed the doorway behind him.

  The farm was rundown and ramshackle in the best of times. The sight that greeted him in the morning light was dismal and disturbing. An orange sticker was affixed to the window of the front room. He didn’t have to go up and read it to know the farm had been condemned by the county. All of the broken appliances had been removed from the front yard and hauled away. The old tractor had been dragged out of the field; gone too.

  Jace sighed as he looked at the sagging roof of the farmhouse. How many times could he recall his mother berating his father to fix the leaks that plagued them for years in the spring? Sadness filled his gaze to know the land that was in the Turner family for nearly eighty years was now gone for back taxes.

  His pa probably didn’t know or care what became of it, so lost in his own disease of drunkenness. Thoughts of Everett made him angry now. The man never did anything but drag his children down with him. Jace felt fury to know he’d been denied a childhood to make up for his lack.

  While other boys played little league and fished with their father’s; he worked from the time he got out of school until late into the evening to care for his siblings and ailing mother. Dawn had a small insurance policy from her employer and they had enough to bury her and Everett pocketed the rest without thought to put any aside for his children.

  No, his pa didn’t harbor much guilt for those days, or he stayed drunk to fight off the demons that came for him. Jace knew there was no point in dwelling on the unfairness of the past. He fumed to know death had not lessened his resentment, only intensified it. Daphne’s words about how anger fueled their power made him long to destroy the leaning dinghy farmhouse until it was rubble.

  His eyes focused on the chipped red-brick chimney and he felt white-hot rage course through him, his mind pushing at the house. He was frustrated to see it still stood after several minutes of concentration. Obviously he had some skills to work on before he went looking for his murderer.

  Thinking of Cam made him smile. His friend thought he was untouchable. He would touch him before this was all over. He would feel every bit of Jace’s rage before he returned to Oblivion to wait for whatever the afterlife held in store for him. A touch of guilt made him frown, knowing his group was down one man in their efforts to ward off both demons and Deadheads in their world.

  Rhys, the Deadhead leader, was growing stronger every day, encouraged by the demon’s promises. The man believed their lies. Such was the desperation to be deemed a lifer in Oblivion, with no chance for redemption from either side.

  The Devil didn’t want them because of their lack of souls and God cursed them for taking their own lives. Without any hope, they had no choice but to believe the lies of the demons.

  He thought it a thankless job they took on, knowing the Deadheads outnumbered them ten to one. Every day they picked up three to four people who joined them while the Deadheads added twenty to thirty to that number.

  At the end of each patrol, he asked himself why he was sent here. None could tell him even that much. That was the hardest. To have lived as he had and been cut down at barely eighteen; what could he have possibly done to displease God?

  Merrick laughed and said that had nothing to do with it. He clung to that theory. He prayed daily his dealing with Cameron and seeking his own justice was forgiven despite the warnings it lengthened his stay there. How could any of them know what was intended for them?

  Jace walked around the yard and was grim-faced to see the lost souls Daphne spoke of walking down the street. The ghostly wraith’s moved toward him curiously. They walked from the road and the fields, rising up out of thin air.

  He saw that they were harmless, could see in their confused expressions they didn’t have a clue to why they wandered the earth in the state they were in. He felt sorry for their bleak expressions. There were men, women and even children, all dressed in different time periods signifying how long they dwelled here.

  A feeling of relief was known that they didn’t show any aggression. He was as unsure here as he’d been when he fir
st arrived in Oblivion.

  “Who are you?” a ghostly man asked as he drew nearer, his eyes soulful and lost. “Did you see the angels?”

  Jace recalled Daphne telling him how confused these ghosts were. He had no answers for them. “I didn’t see any angels,” he replied and saw the man’s expression fill with anger.

  “You lie!” he shouted and the other ghosts followed suit, glaring at him.

  “I didn’t see anything,” Jace insisted and tensed from the sudden change in their demeanors. “I can’t help you. I’m new here too.”

  “You came from beyond,” the man sputtered. “What place did you leave?”

  “It is the same as this,” Jace replied and backed away from them. “It isn’t Heaven if that’s what you think.”

  The ghosts all muttered and Jace used their distraction to get away from the growing group. He ran down the rutted lane of his old driveway to the main road, pleased he seemed to fly over the ground, leaving the group behind. He felt exhilarated as he ran down the road, the blur of all he passed reminding him he needed to slow down as he neared town.

  He walked into Little Bend and smiled as he stood on the corner of Main Street outside the bowling alley. He guessed it was midday. The traffic was light. Pedestrians passed him without seeing him, some walking right through him. He gasped as he felt the life force within him only seconds. It infused him with warmth, but only for a moment and they moved on, oblivious of his presence.

  Jace jogged across the road to Merriman’s grocery store and went around back. He frowned as he saw the unknown vehicle parked near the stairs. Before he wondered whose vehicle it was, the apartment door opened and Lance Morgan stepped out, Marnie right behind him.

  He was surprised to see Lance’s hand at her elbow as they walked down the stairs. It was obvious the pair were quite close. The lingering kiss Lance gave her before they got in his car confused him.

  Marnie was dating Cameron when he died. The two had a tumultuous relationship, on again and off again. Cameron was merely using her for sex and didn’t feel responsible when she became pregnant. The confusion in his expression intensified when the pair got into the silver car and drove away.

  Glass was everywhere, shards under his feet despite the obvious efforts at clean-up. He wondered what Lance was doing home. He ran off months before in the middle of the night without a word to anyone. Lindsay thought he was upset about the divorce. Judging by the looks passing between him and Marnie before they left; he didn’t look upset anymore.

  Jace looked for Deborah Morgan’s station wagon and was confused. He walked up the stairs and smiled as he recalled Daphne telling him he could walk through doors and walls here. He stepped through the door and gasped as he came to stand on the threshold of the doorway inside. The apartment was quiet.

  Everything looked the same as it had the last time he was here. It was neat and tidy inside; as always. He stepped through the kitchen and stood indecisively in front of Lindsay’s bedroom door.

  The last thing he wanted to do was invade her personal space. He heard music within from her MP3 player. The strains of the music reminded him of lazy days spent studying for their final exams, eating Oreo cookies, and enjoying one another’s company.

  Pain filled his eyes to know they would never have that again. Lindsay was alive. He was dead. He had no right coming here and forcing his way into her life now. She didn’t need him haunting her after everything his death put her through.

  Just then the door opened. His eyes widened as he stared at his girlfriend, wearing only a tee shirt and panties as she walked through him. A gasp escaped him as Lindsay’s life force filled him with warmth. It was a pleasant sensation and made him feel alive for the barest of seconds it happened.

  She looked as pretty as she always did. Her hair was secured in a pony tail and she wore minimal make-up. He watched her walk to the kitchen and tried not to admire the sight of his girl’s rear end in the cotton panties, but it was difficult. Fantasies of Lindsay filled his head since the eighth grade.

  Jace watched her fix herself a glass of diet Coke and nibble on crackers and cheese at the counter. He walked closer, enough to see the sad look in her eyes. Sorrow made her blue eyes even bluer. A hand reached out and attempted to touch her cheek, only passing through her.

  Frustration filled him to be unable to touch her now. The desire to hold her close was quadrupled the longer he stood watching her brood. A slight frown marred her forehead. He knew that look. She was worried about something.

  “I love you, Lindsay,” he said and she appeared unaware and unmoved.

  She left the counter and walked back to her room. He followed and almost turned away when she slid off the tee shirt. Despite what seeing her partially nude did to him, he was startled.

  A cord was taped to her chest under her bra. He watched her adjust it. Realizing it was a listening device confused him. Why was Lindsay wearing a wire? She dressed in the khaki slacks and red shirt with Merriman’s logo on it.

  She worked for Merriman now? A grin split his face to think of his spoiled girlfriend working at all. Lindsay thought money just magically appeared before he died. Now it appeared she held a job. He couldn’t help but think it was about time she learn some responsibility. Deborah had never wanted her daughter to work while she was in school. Something changed, and for the better.

  Lindsay put on her sneakers and he watched as she paused and looked up, her expression grew suddenly wary. He saw the look on her face and knew she was feeling his presence. She felt something. The hair on her arms stood up. Some awareness told her she was not alone in her room. It gave him hope he could reach out to her. Lindsay had always been like that; noticing things others might not.

  Jace used his concentration to focus on her dresser where a picture of her and her parents sat. He focused and suddenly the picture fell forward and clattered onto the wood top, making her jump.

  She went and placed the picture back where it was and he did it again. She backed away from the dresser now, her face stark with fear. He hated scaring her. He needed her to know he was here.

  “Jace, is that you? Please tell me it is?” she whispered finally and her hand went to her throat. She looked terrified and he hesitated to continue.

  He focused on the MP3 player button and mentally pressed it to the on position. She looked horrified when the music blared in the room. He went further to advance it to his favorite song. The country song he loved by Rascal Flats started up and she was pale and trembling by now.

  “Oh my God, it is you,” she whispered and was wide-eyed. “If it really is you; put on our song.”

  Jace grinned and fast forwarded to Faith Hill’s ‘Breathe’ and saw tears fill his girlfriend’s eyes. She sank to her bed and sat on the edge. The song filled the room and his heart as he watched her. Trembling hands stilled in her lap, eyes large and luminous stared back at him, not seeing him, but knowing he was there.

  “Are you okay?” she asked and her voice had a catch in it.

  Jace wanted to reassure her but didn’t know how. He went and sat beside her. Her warmth was all he could feel. Wishing for more he looked around her room for some way of telling her he was fine.

  He spied Sara’s bulletin board on the opposite wall. The picture of all three of the Turner children was old, taken five years before. It was wrinkled and faded but it was one of the few of them together. He focused on the push pin that secured it to the cork board. The tack popped and fell, along with the picture.

  Lindsay gasped and got up. She went and picked up the picture, wiping her eyes and looking around with anxiousness.

  “They’re okay, Jace. They live with my mom and Jack now. You don’t need to worry about them anymore. My mom adores Sara and Dougie is winning her over. Jack and my mom hit it off pretty good. They live together now.”

  Jace was stunned Deborah Morgan and Jack Miller were an item, pleased his brother and sister were together and not in a foster home. His relie
f was profound. He recalled Daphne telling him of how everything improved with her death for those she cared about.

  “Your father is another matter though,” she continued and looked grim. “He’s worse than ever before. I think losing the kids and the farm after your death finally pushed him over the edge. I’m sorry, but he’s a lost cause.”

  Jace used his mind to push the dry erase marker hanging by a string on the memo board. He mentally pulled off the cap. He saw her look of fascinated joy as he pushed the marker to the board. Writing proved more challenging than he thought. He grinned as he managed a very rough-looking heart in the green marker.

  Lindsay started to cry again, sobs making her shoulders shake. “I love you too, Jace. I won’t ever stop. I miss you so much. You just don’t know.”

  Jace wished he could hold her then. He did know. Seeing Lindsay brought back every bit of longing and love within him, reminding him what they planned was never going to happen. Anger filled his gaze at the unfairness of it.

  They were both alerted to the phone ringing. She ignored it as she looked around the room. “Please don’t leave me, Jace. I have to go to work right now. That’s probably Mr. Merriman looking for me.”

  He used the marker to draw an arrow through the heart on the memo board. She looked relieved.

  “I get off work at six tonight,” she said and looked around the room. “Please wait for me. We’ll find a way to talk to one another. I have an idea.”

  Jace stared at the pillow on her bed until he managed to send it flying across the room to land at her feet. She bent and picked it up, holding it to her chest, smiling through her tears.

  “A pillow to land on?” she asked softly and shook her head. “I’m probably losing my mind.”

  His answer was to turn the knob of her door and painstakingly pull the door open for her. She appeared stunned to know his ghost was now ensconced within her bedroom. He was grateful Lindsay had a back bone and didn’t run away screaming her head off. She believed in such things as life after death. He used to tease her about it. He hoped she found a better idea to communicate because using his mental energy was draining for him.

  Daphne hadn’t enough time to tell him everything. Just these few pushes and he felt exhausted by the exertion. Anger and adrenaline probably disguised these obvious drawbacks to these powers. He would have to practice while she was at work. They definitely had to talk, even if that would be difficult.