Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  ~ ~ ~

  Jace smiled as he hovered next to the Ouija board, remembering when Lindsay got it in the ninth grade, determined to contact the soul of her dead cat. He sobered to know she used it to communicate with him now.

  She settled herself on the couch and looked around. “Are you here, Jace?”

  He focused on the pointer and pushed it to the yes box. He saw her stiffen with excitement.

  “Who killed you, Jace?” she asked in a hollow voice.

  He painstakingly pushed the pointer to spell Cam’s name. She wrote as he went to each letter. She looked around.

  “Why did he do it? He was your friend. Can you tell me why?”

  Jace wished he knew the answer to that. He moved the pointer to the ‘no’ box.

  She sighed depressively. “You know about as much as we do.”

  Jace wished he knew all the answers. Death gave him nothing but more questions. He pushed the pointer to spell out the words, I- l-o-v-e- you.

  She bit her lip and tears filled her eyes. “I love you too,” she answered and hugged herself around her waist. “Sheriff Wilson gave me a gun tonight, Jace. Cam blew up my mom’s station wagon. He’s making threats against me.”

  Jace spelled out the words, d-o-n-t -w-o-r-r-y, but he could see she still did. He moved the pointer and she wrote as he moved from letter to letter. It took forever to make one sentence.

  He spelled, I-w-i-l-l-t-a-k-e-c-a-r-e-o-f-C-a-m

  Lindsay looked frustrated. “The sheriff gave me back my ring tonight. I found it in Cam’s room and they can’t use it as evidence. Without a confession; he walks. I can’t let that happen.”

  Jace wanted to ask what the Hell she was doing in Cam’s room, a feeling of blazing jealousy assailing him, sending the pointer flying across the room. Lindsay jumped and got up to retrieve it, looking about cautiously.

  “The only way he goes down for this is if he admits it,” she informed the thin air. “Is that what you want? After what he did to you; can you just let him get away with it?”

  Lindsay set down the pointer and he moved it faster, his anger making the energy flow faster. She struggled to keep up with him. What he wrote made her tense.

  H-e w-i-l-l p-a-y

  “Where did you go, Jace?” she asked curiously. “Did you go to Heaven? Is there such a place?”

  Jace didn’t want to burst her bubble about all that. How much should he tell her about Oblivion? Did she need to know? He knew Lindsay would feel bad to know he was trapped there because Cameron murdered him. He decided to not tell her. Lindsay had a lifetime ahead of her. Knowing about the afterlife would only scare her. He had seen nothing of Heaven, only reasonable doubt it even existed.

  The pointer moved and she wrote down each letter. He continued to spell. S-t-a-y-e-d- b-e-h-i-n-d-t-o-f-i-n-i-s-h-t-h-i-s

  “We’ll finish this, Jace,” she promised and her eyes narrowed. “I won’t rest until Cameron pays for this.”

  Jace hesitated to ask what he had to ask her now. He moved the pointer to spell Marnie’s name and the word ‘baby’ after that. Lindsay looked angry then, assuring him she knew he had cheated on her.

  “Yeah, I know about it. When you died she couldn’t get the abortion. She’s having it. Lance is standing by her. They don’t know whether it is yours or Cam’s. She’s having a test done on Monday to find out the paternity, but it will take a few weeks,” Lindsay explained, her voice crackling with anger. “Why would you do that, Jace? I didn’t care if you were a virgin. Why didn’t you talk to me?”

  He sighed, realizing he had erred greatly in gauging his girlfriend’s reaction to the news. He thought Lindsay would hate him when she found out. She appeared sad and contrite he hadn’t confided in her. It was his own pride that kept him from admitting he’d never been with a girl before Marnie.

  He spelled out the obvious. E-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-e-d

  “I wouldn’t have cared,” she replied and sighed and looked down at the board. “I’m not mad anymore. I know why you did it. I just wish you would have talked to me. What if the baby is yours? My brother will stay with her, but how do you think it makes me feel?”

  S-o-r-r-y, he spelled.

  “Jace, I’m so jealous! I don’t think I can look at that baby if it’s yours and not resent the fact it’s not ours. Do you understand?”

  He moved the pointer to the yes box.

  “I guess Cameron is trying to keep her here after graduation just to be spiteful, so she has no choice but to prove paternity.”

  Jace frowned and moved the pointer around to spell out the deputy’s name.

  Lindsay laughed and shook her head. “She claims there’s no chance it’s his. He just got named acting sheriff until the next election after Wilson retires. He doesn’t want to admit he even knew Marnie. Nice guy, huh?”

  Jace wasn’t surprised Dooley looked out for himself in this. He never cared for the guy. He hoped for all their sakes the kid was Dan’s. Cam had no claim to it and Lindsay wouldn’t have to be reminded of how he betrayed her every time she looked at the baby.

  He paused and spelled out something to change the subject. No use in dwelling on it until the test results came back. They had other things to deal with. The idea that his petite girlfriend was packing a pistol was more than disturbing.

  Thinking of how inept Daphne was reminded him she needed to practice shooting it if it was to be of any protection to her. He could help her with that.

  He spelled out ‘gun’ and ‘help you’. She grinned at that and set down her pen.

  “I need all the help I can get. If Lance finds out Wilson gave me a gun; he’d lose it. The Sheriff wants me to practice with it.”

  Jace spelled out words now to direct her where to go to do that, outside of town and away from prying eyes and ears. He spelled out ‘go to cabin’.

  “Yeah, I could do that except I have no car. Lance said for me to hit up my dad for his antique car in the garage, but you know how that goes? It’s his baby. He heard from my mom by now about the station wagon. I can’t see him letting me use it.”

  M-y- t-r-u-c-k, Jace spelled.

  “I think it’s still in the impound lot at the sheriff’s department. I’ll ask Sheriff Wilson if I can have it. I doubt he will believe me if I told him you gave me permission.”

  Jace laughed at that. No, he doubted that would be believed. He focused on the pointer. He spelled, ‘ask my dad’, and saw her hesitate.

  “Jace, after his not showing up to your funeral and turning a blind eye to the kids; I don’t think I could ask him for anything.”

  Jace refused to let up. He spelled furiously, the pointer moving fast. J-u-s-t –d-o- i-t

  She looked disgusted. “Fine. I’ll go looking for him tomorrow. I never thought I’d see myself buying him a drink, but I need wheels.”

  The front door to the apartment was opened and she hastily put the Ouija board under the couch. She sat up as Marnie walked in with her brother. She looked pale and went to lie down. Lance looked slightly withdrawn as he sat down next to her.

  “What’s up?” she asked in concern.

  “The test is scheduled for Monday in Helena. The results won’t come back until late June at the earliest. Then we have to have them sent to Cameron’s attorney. That means we have to stay here longer than I wanted to.”

  Lindsay was relieved it was only that. “We have no choice, right?”

  Lance scowled. “Yeah, while these creeps are firebombing my mom’s car trying to get to my sister? Come on! We need to get you out of here. I’m considering flying you out as soon as you graduate. Me and Marnie can stay behind to wait; you can’t.”

  “No! I won’t go without you, Lance,” she cried, thinking of leaving Jace and panicking.

  Her brother glared at her. “We’re not burying you too, Lindsay.”

  “Sheriff Wilson said he’s going to watch the apartment until I leave,” she argued. “So, you see? Everything will be fine.”

  He didn’t ap
pear reassured. “If anything happens to you I’ll kill Cameron, Lindsay, and I don’t care what happens to me then. You and Mom are all I got now.”

  “What about Dougie and Sara?” she pointed out. “You have them now too.”

  He looked away. “They're all weird about me being their brother, Lindsay. I can’t ever take Jace’s place in their eyes. It’ll never be the same.”

  “Still, you have to think of Marnie and the baby. She needs you.”

  He sighed and looked at her with anger in his gaze. “She’s starting to talk about adoption again, Lindsay.”

  Lindsay froze. “But I thought you guys were going to raise it as if it was yours, no matter whose kid it is?”

  “It’s her decision; not mine,” he informed her with a sad look. “She doesn’t think I’ll be there for the long haul because of how I left before. Can’t blame her for that. I have a lot to do to convince her.”

  “Do you want me to talk to her?” Lindsay asked, feeling for her brother. “She has to realize you weren’t thinking straight then. You no sooner found about Dad and Margene and you found out Everett was your real father. She has to see that you weren’t yourself.”

  “Lindsay, leave it alone. It solves a lot of problems for everyone; you as well.”

  “Don’t drag me into it,” she snapped and got up from the couch and paced. “I realize it could be Jace’s. I’m prepared for it. I’ll be ok; trust me.”

  “I told her that,” he confided in a softer tone, his brown eyes filled with relief to hear her say it. “Marnie just doesn’t want you to hate her or the baby if it’s his.”

  “That’s ridiculous!” Lindsay said harshly and shook her head. “I wouldn’t hold it against her or the baby. I know what happened was just as much my fault as theirs. I pressured him then, not thinking he didn’t know what to do. I had a hand in it too.”

  Lance didn’t want to talk about it. She could see it bothered him Marnie had been so willing to instruct Jace in sex. It had to be hard for him to deal with. If she had the baby, they had a hard road ahead of them to get past these truths.

  “You’re handling this better than I am, little sister,” he remarked and sighed. “Go ahead and talk to her. I just want her to make a decision and stick to it. This going back and forth is driving me crazy. Just when I get used to the idea of raising some other guy’s kid; she changes her mind.”

  Lindsay knew how Marnie must feel. She felt trapped by Cam. If the baby was his; he would make her life miserable. Adoption would end this whole new threat, but the thought of her giving away Jace’s baby made a stab of pain fill her heart. That was when she knew she would accept this baby if it turned out to be Jace’s. The thought of it not being raised by its mother seemed as unfair as his death.

  “I’ll talk to her. She needs to stop worrying about Cameron. He has no rights to the baby if he’s in prison and that’s where I mean to send him.”

  “She’s stubborn, Lindsay. You don’t know her like I do. She thinks if we just get rid of it; it’ll be like it all never happened. She thinks I hold it against her now.”

  “Do you?” Lindsay demanded and glanced at him sharply. “We both know you have a way of frowning on things you don’t like, Lance. You might not come out and say it, but you let people know what you think. Maybe you need to talk to her more than me. You’ll be the father; after all.”

  Lance glared at her. “I told her I’ll stand by her. What more can I do?”

  “Tell her you forgive her for it, Lance,” his sister insisted. “And mean it. We both know it has to bother you she was with three guys while you were gone.”

  Lance grimaced. “It’s my fault. I left her for Margene. I don’t have a right to punish her for being hurt and lashing out. She didn’t care about any of them. I know it’s ridiculous to hold her to a higher standard, but it hurts, Lindsay. The thought of her with other guys tears me up.”

  “Tell her that, Lance. Everything you just told me. She needs to know how you feel. A baby is coming and she’ll need you more than ever if it’s Cam’s.”

  Lance looked down at his hands. “If it’s his, she wants to give up the baby and I respect how she feels. Considering what Cam did to Jace; can you blame her?”

  “The baby is innocent,” Lindsay argued under her breath, aware Marnie might hear them. “How can she do that?”

  “How can she raise a murderer’s baby, Lindsay? What would you do?”

  Lindsay shivered, knowing the choice was tough either way. The thought of giving birth to a monster’s baby had to give Marnie nightmares. She would always be looking for some sign that the evil that lurked within Cameron was present in his child. The heartbreaking decision could only be hers.

  “It’s her decision, but she can just forget about adoption if it’s Jace’s. A part of me wants to see his baby grow up. I know it sounds crazy but if it’s all that’s left of him; I’d rather see her keep it.”

  Lance looked relaxed to hear her say it. “I hoped you’d say that. I told her you would feel comforted from that after the shock wore off.”

  “I know Jace loved me, Lance,” she stated in an even tone. “What he did might be seen as cheating, but he did it for me. I can’t hold it against either of them now.”