Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  ~ ~ ~

  Jace chuckled as she missed ten out of ten targets. They were up at her dad’s fishing cabin an hour. The only thing his girl hit was the ground the first time she fired the gun. His laughter made her furious.

  “You have to control your breathing, Lindsay, and focus on your sights,” he said as he stood next to her in the back field behind the cabin. The targets were set up on a wooden fence fifty yards away.

  “This is harder than I thought it would be,” she admitted as she reloaded.

  “Tell me about it,” he said and saw she finished reloading the gun. “You just need practice; is all.”

  “We have four days, Jace,” she replied worriedly. “I haven’t hit a darn thing.”

  “Just picture Cam’s face on the tin cans. That might help.”

  Lindsay did and by the fourth can she knocked one off the fence, jumping up and down in excitement. Jace smiled down at her. They went through a third of the box of ammo and she hit one target. She got better after that, hitting three more.

  “This is kind of fun,” she said as she got the hang of it.

  Jace rolled his eyes and watched her hit three more. She really was getting better.

  They left for home after that. She drove down the winding mountain road and he leaned out the window, feeling the wind go through him. It was a beautiful day and getting warmer now. He would miss the summers here.

  When they pulled into the back of Merriman’s her mom was there waiting with Lance. They were talking and quit when she walked up. Jace hovered at her side, looking concerned.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, disturbed by her mom’s look of unease.

  Deborah Morgan looked upset and Lance was tight-lipped and looked away.

  “You guys are scaring me,” Lindsay said in alarm. “What is it?”

  “Everett Turner won the lottery the other night, Lindsay,” her mom told her sadly. “He cashed in the ticket and went on a binge. They found him this morning in his room dead. He drank himself to death.”

  Jace let out a ragged moan and looked sick. Lindsay didn’t know what to feel, knowing how the man was never there for Jace all these years. The vague sense of sadness passed when she latched onto the fact he won the lottery.

  “He won the lottery? You have to be kidding me? How much did he win?”

  “He won over three million dollars, Lindsay. He took the lump sum and went on a bender. The money will go to his kids, at least,” her mom told her and left them.

  Lance looked miserable. She didn’t know what to say to him. Evie lived like he died, a crap shoot, never knowing where he’d land. She wasn’t surprised at all.

  “Lance, I know you feel like crap, but there wasn’t anything you could do,” she said and shook her head. “He lived like he wanted.”

  Her brother looked like he wanted to break something. “He had all that money! He could have changed his life! And he just threw it all away! And for what?”

  “Lance, he was too far gone,” his sister said softly and felt for him, knowing he was determined to get Everett into a program like Jace had been. “You did everything you could.”

  Jace looked sick and turned away. Lindsay looked from his ghost and back to her brother, knowing she had two to console now.

  “I need to get out of here,” her brother muttered and walked to his car. “Tell Marnie I just need some time. I’ll be back later.”

  She watched her brother drive away and looked at Jace. “Are you going to be ok?”

  “I think I killed my pa,” he said brokenly and she could see tears in his eyes. He told her what he did when he went up to the bar, filling out his father’s lotto slip while he was passed out.

  “You don’t even know if that’s the one he won with, Jace. It’s not your fault! Why do you gotta blame yourself for everything? Doesn’t that tell you that you couldn’t save him?”

  “I gotta go, Lindsay,” he said and looked miserable. “I need some time too, okay? Sara and Dougie are probably hurting.”

  Lindsay nodded and wished she could say more to comfort him, knowing the news his father was dead hit him hard. She refused to see it as a total tragedy. His death brought one good thing from it.

  His kids had the security they never had when he was alive now. Sara could look forward to college now. Dougie had more going for him too. Even Lance and Marnie would share the proceeds.

  She could see Jace considered none of that yet. He was looking at it like he did this. She sighed and reentered the apartment. Marnie was still looking at the bridal magazine and wore a much more enthusiastic expression until she saw Lindsay’s face.

  “What now?” she snapped and rolled her eyes. “It’s like a shit storm around here!”

  “Evie died last night, Marnie. Mrs. Warren found him this morning. He drank himself to death. Lance is taking it pretty hard, so go easy okay?”

  Marnie looked sad. “He hoped he could help him. I told him it wouldn’t work. He’s just like my dad.”

  “He won the lottery,” Lindsay informed her with a slight smile. “Looks like you get that fantasy wedding and ring now.”

  “No way!” Marnie exclaimed and her eyes widened. “You’re kidding?”

  “Nope, he won a couple million,” she informed her. “The money will be split between Sara, Dougie, and Lance. That’s good news, huh?”

  Marnie had tears in her eyes. “I know Lance is probably not thinking that right about now. He said he didn’t care if his dad claimed him or not, but I know he was hoping for it.”

  Lindsay nodded sadly. “Evie never did anything for Jace or the other kids. My brother has to realize he couldn’t have made a difference. At least the kids all get something out of it. Now let’s start planning that wedding.”

  For the next hour they narrowed down a dress and the colors for her wedding. She was enthusiastic and had enough to take her mind off her own troubles. Lance was still off mourning the dad he never knew he had. Jace was probably kicking himself thinking he caused his death.

  Lindsay retreated to her bedroom. She folded her laundry, wondering where Jace was. She knew he was taking it harder out of the three kids. He remembered his dad in better days; kept trying to find that guy and bring him back.

  Some people got lost long before they checked out of this world. Everett Turner was one of them. She refused to mourn a guy who never gave a damn about his kids and his sick wife, and drank his life away. The money would benefit all his kids. It wouldn’t make up for not having the father they wanted, but it was something.

  Lance came back after a while and he and Marnie retreated to the bedroom. He was quiet and withdrawn, but seemed to have worked out his issues. They remained in the bedroom for a long time. Lindsey made something to eat and all three sat eating in silence.

  “The funeral’s on Friday,” Lance said suddenly and looked at his sister. “I know you don’t think he deserves it but were going to bury him the right way.”

  “I didn’t say anything. You do what you feel is right,” Lindsey grumbled and looked down at her food. “I feel bad too, Lance. He was Jace’s dad. It’s not fair, but it’s how he lived. What do you want me to say?”

  Lance didn’t say anything and picked at his food.

  Marnie eyed him speculatively. “Tell Lindsey our plans.”

  “Were buying the farm back from the land bank,” he announced and Lindsey looked up in surprise.

  “That’s great, I guess,” she said and looked confused. “What about Georgia?”

  “It’s not for us,” he said and looked at Marnie for help.

  “We’re buying it back for the kids,” Marnie announced. “When their old enough they can do with it what they want. We agreed it should stay in the family.”

  Lindsay knew Jace would be relieved. He always said the property was a gold mine and would be worth something one day. Her brother was really trying to make it up to the Turner kids, she could see. Her mom said his overtures were met with awkwardness by both ki
ds. Maybe getting their family’s home back would make them see Lance wanted to be a part of their life now.

  “We’re leaving as soon as Marnie gets the test results to that lawyer,” Lance told her. “We’re planning our wedding for October.”

  “That’s great,” Lindsay said and was relieved her brother was getting over his shock of Everett’s death. “We’ve been looking at dresses all day.”

  “Lindsay, I know this is a lot to ask of you, but will you be my maid of honor?” Marnie asked and looked hopeful. “I don’t know anybody in Georgia and I’d be lost planning all this.”

  Lindsay could have never seen herself as Marnie Slade’s maid of honor. She smiled at the irony of it and agreed. Dinner lightened up after that. Lance was quiet but he was done kicking himself over his father’s death.

  Jace arrived back when she finished the dishes. He walked through the wall and looked shell-shocked over his dad’s death. He waited until Marnie left the kitchen to speak.

  “The kids are taking it pretty hard,” he said and lounged against the wall, avoiding her gaze. “No amount of money makes up for that, ya know?”

  “I know Jace,” she said gently and came forward, looking at him in understanding. “Did you know that Lance is going to buy your farm back for the kids?”

  Jace looked surprised and then pleased. “It’s been in our family for over eighty years. It should go to Dougie and Sara. That should make them feel better at least.”

  “I know you’re taking this hard but you can’t blame yourself anymore, Jace.”

  “He bought the ticket the day after I filled out the slip,” he confided with obvious relief.

  “You see? You didn’t help this along.”

  “Lindsay, I gotta get out of here,” he said suddenly and looked miserable. “We have to finish this. I can’t take this. I don’t belong here. Every day that goes by reminds me I’m not a part of this anymore.”

  Lindsay felt panic at his words. She set down the dish cloth and tears sprang into her eyes to think of his leaving for good. She reminded herself why he came back at all. It was never to stay.

  “We’ll do this, Jace,” she promised and smiled sadly as a tear slid down her cheek. “We’ll get Cameron, you’ll see.”

  “I don’t even care anymore!” Jace raged and she saw he was losing it over his dad. “It doesn’t matter! At the end of the day I’m still dead! I won’t ever be able to get that back!”

  “No, but you get to say you put the guy away who did this, Jace!” she whispered furiously. “He took everything we had, and everything we could have had! I’m not just walking away and calling it good! I have to live without you now! How am I going to do that without getting some closure?”

  Jace hung his head and she wished she could hug him. He was torn up over Everett and questioning his desire for revenge now. She could see her words worked on him to a degree. He looked at her with resolve in his dark, glimmering eyes. Seeing he was close to tears too made her long for some way to console him.

  “Lindsay, my pa carried around a picture of me and my ma. He had it in his hand the last time I saw him. I know he cared about us.”

  She saw he struggled with his own resentment now.

  “Jace, he had to have cared about you guys. You need to quit beating yourself up and look at it like it was. He was sick. He couldn’t help himself.”

  “I know I just keep wishing I could have helped him. I appreciate Lance taking care of the funeral,” he replied and smiled faintly. “I still can’t get over the fact he’s my brother.”

  “Maybe everything happens for a reason, Jace,” she whispered softly. “I have to think that. I know you said there’s no predestined thing at work here, but losing you gave the kids Lance. I don’t know if my mom would have ever told me if you hadn’t died.”

  Jace smiled wider at her words. “I’d like to think something good came out of this, Lindsay.”

  “We’re going to finish this, Jace,” she said quietly, eyes filled with grim resolve. “I won’t rest until he pays.”